After an aging Rainbow Dash’s Wonderbolts show ends in tragedy, Twilight has to close her affairs.
With thanks to Lord of Dorkness for pre-reading.
Finalist in the July Write-Off event, 'Best Laid Plans'.
Chapters (1)
- Member Since 16th Jun, 2014
- offline last seen Tuesday
billymorph
Hey all, I'm billymorph, a semi-professional writer, self-published author and full-time pony fan. If you enjoy my work, please support me on Patreon!
billymorph
Joined 16th Jun, 2014 ·
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This was definitely a tearjerking story. For 1,233 words, it says a lot.
The emotional weight Twilight is going through and Rainbow's implied suicide, makes this story pretty tragic and sad in the right ways.
This is a very well made story, and it is well worth the effort. Excellent job, billymorph.
Quite good; this was the only thing I saw upon first read:
It should be "loyalest", or better yet, "most loyal". Loyalist is a noun. Also, I would combine that and the previous sentence with a semicolon, but that's more of a stylistic choice than anything.
Regarding the content itself, I got chills at the last sentence.
A good story. Didn't really make me too sad but that's mostly just me.
The plot twist took me by surprise and it was very well written.
Pretty good.
6296926 Thanks, I'm glad to hear you liked it. Suicide is a delicate topic and I'm glad it hit the right note.
6296956 Good catch, fixed.
6296997 Ah well, we'll see how the next one goes.
6297173 6297417 6298428 Thanks guys, glad you had fun.
Sad fic is sad.
But seriously... It's an interesting idea. Especially considering what a betrayal and how utterly not loyal
Rainbow Dash's choice was. I mean seriously... How will Twilight be able to tell her friends and others
who were close to Rainbow about this?
So yeah I like this fic.
And one error I noticed:
should be
img.photobucket.com/albums/v441/dawgstar/RainbowDashJustAsPlanned.gif
Not sure how guilty I should feel for posting that image.
6303221 You should feel very guilty about posting that image
and good catch on that error.
Though, I find it interesting that you call out Dash on the loyalty aspect. There's a level of give and take to loyalty, and it must flow both ways. There's a lot of evidence that Rainbow was not coping with age that Twilight glosses over in this story, and some of it long predates Dash's 'accident'. I very much wrote Twilight as having a very rosy eyed view of Rainbow Dash that doesn't really tie into the reality of Dash's situation, and I think this implies that they failed each other, rather than it all being one sided.
All according to keikaku
I am obligated to upvote and fav this story, because this is a superb analysis of Rainbow Dash's mentality. Rainbow Dash would never respond well to being forced to retire from anything. Most interpretations of her character concede that she would not accept being old very well either. There are many situations that can arise from these two events happening, and this is a particularly tragic one. Perhaps if she had gotten married and had foals, she would have had something else to live for.
This is awesome... and sad.
I wish there was an optional bonus chapter where Twilight tells the news to her friends and we see how they react by reflecting on their common past and RD`s actions.
I reviewed this story!
My review can be found here.
The thing I hate about 90% of all dark fics is they twist the characters and/or the world out of shape in order to get their darkness. But here you've crafted a dark story that actually fits with Rainbow's established character—well done.
I don't know. On one hand, yeah. On the other, I can't see her as that much of a defeatist. I would expect something more along the lines of an attempt to do the impossible to prove she should still be there. Something that, yes, if failed would have that conclusion, but I'm not so sure she would plan to not go any further. That's too much like admitting that they were right.
6308692 Well it was a twist for Twilight at least, it's pretty hard to surprise everyone with these kind of twists so I'll settle for some dramatic irony.
6310335 Thanks. One of the things that gotten written up from the Write-off story was Dash's motivation, and her marriage to her job was the major factor I focused on. I'm glad it came over well.
6310787 I don't think I have the heart to write that extra chapter
6312106 Awesome, thanks TD
6312647 Glad you thought Rainbow worked, it's always the tough part of these very character driven pieces.
6313770 The thing about suicide as a symptom of mental illness is that it's not logical from the outside. Rainbow isn't a defeatist in this story. In her own mind she won, she beat the board dropping her from the roster. It's a terrible decision but it's also one of the real world tragedies that suicide is seen to people as the correct and a sensible option even though nothing could be further from the truth.
That was well done.
It's a great story, no doubt about it, but it's far from the first Suicide Rainboom. Still enjoyed it, though.
6303783
Reasonable perhaps, but I hope you aren't saying that excuses Dash?
7013889 Rainbow doesn't need to be excused, she and Twilight were both victims in this story.
6430760 Ah, see! Even you admit there are a few! You probably shouldn't be surprised that This Isn't War is being taken in the same light. Especially with the ambiguous ending.
8012213 When did I ever deny that the concept existed?
8012227 Sorry if I implied that. You just seem a bit exasperated with people who make the assumption based on the slew of others.
Edit: Upon review of my original comment, I come off as a condescending prick. Apologies.
8012233 Even a perfectly reasonable idea, if shouted enough times, will become annoying.
Also, you could conceivably be doing better things with your time than hounding me about this in someone else's comment section.
8012239 My bad. Was just looking up this story to edit one of my comments, and happened to see your name.
this was incredible! the removed perspective Twilight has, her own analytical nature breaking through the cracks as she starts to piece everything together; really fantastic writing! the brevity does it so many favors too. it lets you take that vertical slice of raw emotion and present it to the reader, leaving them with so many questions unanswered. thank you for this!