The Pony Variety Show!
The excitement of the theatre is practically tangible as crowds of excited ponies and bronies bustle through the doors, searching for their seats as the stage crew goes about their last preparations before the show. Spotlights sweep across the stage as Derpy attempts to get them focused upon the stage, yet continually misses, blinding random people in the audience. Pumpkin and Pound Cake come crawling through the big red curtains, giggling happily as they are pursued by a flustered looking Scootaloo.
"Come back here, you rogues!" She squeaks in frustration, then leaps at Pumpkin Cake, only to find herself floating away in a bubble of magic. The twins nearly escape, only to be caught by the other crusaders as they head for the edges of the stage.
"Gotcha!" Apple Bloom exclaims, holding tight to the wriggling Pumpkin Cake.
"Now come on Pound Cake. We need to get backstage. Ow!" Sweetie Belle takes a rattle to her eye as she hefts the baby foal off into the back again.
Finally things settle as ponies and bronies alike scoot into their seats, the lights slowly dim, and the curtains roll back. Spike steps out from behind the curtain and waddles to center stage. He taps the mic, sending a loud popping out over the speakers.
"Testing, one two, one two." The little dragon clears his throat, then begins singing as the tune of 'Smells Like Teen Spirit' echoes over the audio system.
"What is this song all about?
Can't figure any lyrics out.
How do the words to it go,
I wish you'd tell me, I don't know."
Spike's voice is quickly replaced by several others, all chanting in song.
"Don't know, don't know, don't know. Oh no.
Don't know, don't know, don't know. Oh no."
Spike begins again.
"Now I'm mumblin' and I'm screamin',
An' I don't know, what I'm singin'!"
The music quickly fades, followed by a series of giggles from backstage. Spike glances behind himself, going a little red. "Sorry about that folks. I, uh, I kinda lost a bet." He explains, then quickly shifts gears. "Okay, so on with the show! First, I'd like to again thank special contributor, Zannpony, and all our wonderful fans who sent in suggestions, good, bad, or just plain weird! We here at the Pony Variety Show! appreciate your support!"
"Today's show will feature Twilight and Trixie, duking it out in true pony fashion. With a MAGICAL BATTLE! After that, we've got several requests for Discord to give us his rendition of 'Discord', followed by a 'Back to the Future' parody! As always, the show will be finishing off with our signature replay of last week's antics by our very own camera specialists, Bluenose and Yellowbelly!"
As Spike exits the stage, you can see several unicorns in the background, casting spells upon the stage before the curtain falls. Anticipation starts to build as the first act is prepared.
* * *
As the curtain raises, you see two ponies approaching each other upon the stage. The contender on the left, Twilight Sparkle, draws in a slow breath as she eyes her competition with consternation. Trixie, on the other hand (or hoof) seems to have no such reservations, and is primping her hair as she trots up into the spotlight.
"Alright ladies, gentlecolts, and bronies of all ages, let's get ready for the fight! The rules are simple! The first pony to render the other incapable of using magic or unwilling to cast a spell is the winner! Oh, and by the way, if you two do any damage, the writer says he's taking it out of your paychecks." Spike explains from the control box high overhead.
"The Great and Powerful Trixie needs no explanation! She will show that miserable wretch, Twilight Sparkle, who owns her flank!" Trixie announces, glaring at Twilight.
"Hey! Don't go talking dirty! We're trying to keep the show age appropriate!" Twilight retorts angrily. "Do you have any idea how many kids watch this!?"
Trixie looks out at all of you, squinting her eyes. "Are the children the ones with the big boobs?"
Twilight flushes with embarrassment at the statement. "Uh, no! Those are women… well… some of them anyway."
"Girls wait!" Rarity yells, hurrying onto the stage with a bundle of leather straps and saddles in her hooves. "You forgot your fighting uniforms!"
"Rarity, I told you we're not wearing those!" Twilight hisses, squinting at the fashionista.
"But they look so good on you!" Rarity pouts, fluttering her eyelashes.
"They look like bondage accessories!" Twilight yells back.
"Oh, is that so?" Trixie asks, raising an eyebrow at the load of straps in Rarity's hooves.
"No, no, NO! We are not wearing them!"
"Why don't we ask the audience what they think?" Rarity suggests, trying her best to look innocent.
"Ah… uh… but we can't!" Twilight stammers. "The polls are broken today, so we can't get clear feedback!"
"Oh pish posh!" Rarity exclaims, then turns to you all. "Do you want these two lovely young fillies to be wearing their sexy battle harnesses for the match?"
The crowd around you starts cheering wildly, many of them waving hands and hooves in the air. Somepony starts chanting, until the whole room erupts in loud yells of support for the awkward leather outfits!
"Fine… Let's just get this over with!" Twilight moans as Rarity's face spreads into a huge grin. Twilight hisses at the fashion happy pony. "That's two I owe you."
"We'll see about that." Rarity whispers back with a devilish smile as she tightens the saddle and 'protective' athletic straps onto her friend.
Trixie peers around Rarity to get a good look at the outfit, then bursts out laughing at the sight! Twilight is practically trussed up by all of the tight black leather restraints, grumbling around a bit in her mouth. Rarity turns her eyes to the blue unicorn, who is rolling on her back with laughter.
"Your turn dear!" She calls cheerfully, drawing a fearful glance from Trixie.
"The Great and Powerful Trixie will never agree to such barbaric attire! She will wear her cape and hat!" Trixie replies.
"Oh no you won't! I still owe you for turning my mane green!" Rarity answers, her horn glowing.
"Beshides, you sheemed to sthink it wash a good idea for me to wear thish, sho you're wearing it too!" Twilight manages around the obstructive mouth bit, grinning at the now backpedaling Trixie. Her horn's glow joins Rarity's, hoisting the unfortunate showoff into the air!
"No! You can not do this to The Great and Powerful Trix- Aaaah!" The struggling, inverted unicorn complains as her struggles are met with leather straps and restraints that squeeze her as her hat and cape are flung across the stage! After much flailing, she is deposited roughly back onto the stage, now similarly bound to Twilight.
Trixie looks about at the audience, tears filling her eyes. "Zhe Greath an' Powerful Thrixie will… will… Aaaaagh!" With that, Trixie bursts into tears at her humiliation, rushing from the stage.
"Worth it?" Rarity asks Twilight with a smile.
"Worth it." Twilight responds, doing her best to smile around the bit.
Spike peeks out from around the curtains, staring at the two ponies, a checklist in hand. "If only Rarity were wearing… Oh! I, uh… Magical fight between Twilight and Trixie? Check! Pony bondage outfits? Check!" He looks out at all of you. "We'll be right back everypony!"
The curtain falls.
* * *
As everypony sits there waiting for the next act, a brilliant light suddenly glows across the stage! A pony in the front row starts screaming! "My eyes! My eyes! I'm blind!"
The light vanishes as quickly as it came, leaving you all staring at the regal form of Princess Celestia, a podium in front of her, with large, patriotic posters announcing 'Celestia/Cadence 2012' hanging about on the curtains. A patriotic tune begins sounding over the speakers as the Princess begins to speak.
"My fellow ponies and bronies, have I not been a fair and just ruler? Is there really so much distrust that you all feel I am no longer qualified to rule, as I have for millennia? I ask you all to reconsider this foolishness that I am certain Discord has talked my foalish little sister into!" Celestia pauses, looking back at the curtains. She whispers, but her mic keeps it going over the sound system. "Cadence! Psst! Cadence! Why do I have to get everypony to like me again?"
Cadence's head pops out from behind the curtain, and she whispers something back. Apparently it takes a long time, and she seems to be ranting, but you can't quite make out what she's explaining to the Princess. With a sigh, Celestia turns back to face you all. As she does, Cadence smiles evilly, her eyes flashing green as her horn glows. The posters quickly roll up, revealing new ones that display 'Chrysalis and Pinkie Pie 2012' upon them.
Celestia speaks again. "If elected as Ruler of Everything, I promise longer days, less harsh punishments for minor infractions, and to not troll or molest my subjects! Furthermore, I will commit to rebuilding our economy by ending frivolous human spending! Politicians who can not stay in budget will be sent to the moon!"
"Lastly, I want to thank you all for hearing my proposals, and for all of the wonderful support of my campaign manager, Twilight Sparkle!" Celestia gestures to the curtains, where a bashful Twilight peers out at the crowd with an embarrassed smile.
"Thank you all for hearing me out, and I hope to see you all voting for me on election day!" Celestia finishes, then in a second brilliant flash, disappears along with all of the campaign props.
* * *
The curtains sweep open again, this time revealing an impossibly long waterfront, with concrete walkways along a river stretching off into the distance. Ponies and bronies are walking up and down it, some so far off they should be further than the back wall of the theatre. Standing in the middle of the stage, a tall frail figure awaits, wearing a white hoodie covering his variety of mismatched horns, claws, and eyes. As a thrumming beat begins, Discord begins walking towards the audience, but instead of coming closer, the pier moves further back as he strides forward.
"I've always been a fan of puppeteers and I've a nagging fear,
That I haven't been pulling enough strings!
Something great is going down through the entire town,
Wreaking anarchy and all it brings!"
As he strolls along, he looks towards a brony leaning on the rail of the walkway. With a quick snap of his claws, Discord summons a rather infatuated looking Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie with a flash. The two jump onto the brony, nuzzling and kissing him, which brings an euphoric look onto his face!
"I can't sit idly, no, I had to move it all,
I love the name, I'm the one behind it aaall!
As quickly as they came, the two ponies once again disappear, leaving the brony looking about in confusion. Suddenly a girl, presumably the girlfriend of the brony walks up to him, her face livid! She raises her purse, slapping the brony repeatedly as she yells at him!
"Discooord! I'm howlin' at the moon,
And sleepin' in the middle of a summer afternoon!
Discooord, whatever should I do,
To make this world a place to plaaaay!?"
The couple continue yelling at each other, their fury unspent. The woman hefts up her purse again, not seeing that it has turned into a large halibut. She swings, striking the brony with the fish, and sending him over the rail into the water below! Still upset, she storms off, leaving him flailing in the water.
"Discooord, you are my prey I know,
A stepping stone for me to take back my throne!
Discooord, this is what chaos is for,
Now I'm back to staaaay!"
As the god of chaos and disharmony continues walking up the concrete, he spots Apple Bloom and Granny Smith talking cheerfully. They seem to be having a pleasant conversation! Grinning, the draconequus snaps his claws as he walks by. Suddenly a censored bar flashes over Apple Bloom's mouth, eliciting a horrified reaction from Granny Smith. She starts chiding the younger pony, only to have a censored bar flash across her own mouth. Apple Bloom's expression goes wide with shock, then she starts yelling back. Soon the two are screaming uncontrollably at each other, censored bars flashing across their mouths at irregular intervals. Discord continues his strut, smiling as he eyes back at the arguing ponies.
Up ahead, Octavia is leaning against the rail, playing her cello, her eyes closed in concentration. Next to her, leaning jauntily against the rail, Vinyl Scratch is bobbing her head to the rhythm, a smile on her face. Discord grins as he approaches, whispering something in Vinyl's ear as he passes, snapping his claws. The massive form of the bass cannon appears behind the now grinning Vinyl Scratch.
"I'm fine with changing the status quo, and I love letting go,
Now the world is being torn apart,
A terrible catastrophe played by your symphony,
What a terrifying work of art!"
Vinyl turns and slaps the button on her bass cannon, sending a wave of thundering sound into her friend! The sound wave smashes the cello into the rail, tearing the fine instrument apart! Enraged, Octavia begins screaming at the top of her lungs, throwing herself at the surprised Vinyl Scratch! As the two ponies fight, Discord continues to strut, opening his arms wide to the sky.
"I can't sit idly, no, I had to move it all,
I love the name, I'm the one behind it aaall!
Discooord! I'm howlin' at the moon,
And sleepin' in the middle of a summer afternoon!
Discooord, whatever should I do,
To make this world a place to plaaaay!?"
As the draconequus continues down the pier, all of the ponies he left in various states of chaos behind him continue their fighting, lost to the joke he had played upon each of them!
"Discooord! I'm howlin' at the moon,
And sleepin' in the middle of a summer afternoon!
Discooord, whatever should I do,
To make this world a place to plaaaay!?
Discooord, you are my prey I know,
A stepping stone for me to take back my throne!
Discooord, this is what chaos is for,
Now I'm back to staaaay!"
As the last notes settle, Discord bursts into raucous laughter as the curtains fall, hiding the chaotic scene beyond.
* * *
Spike steps out onto the stage, holding his mic. "Woah! That was really awesome! How'd he do that anyway?"
The little dragon peeks behind the curtain, scratches his head, then returns his attention to you. "Ah, whatever. Anyways, we want to give a shout out to The Living Tombstone, Eurobeat Brony, and Ohaimby for the wonderful song and video! We had loads of fun parodying it! Well, Discord did anyway! Next up is Back to the Future, right after a word from our sponsor!"
As Spike disappears, a tan earth pony with a businesslike blond haircut steps onto the stage. He is wearing a shirt collar with a black tie, and his cutie mark appears to be a shower curtain. Clearing his throat, he begins speaking in an sharp, clipped manner.
"Cave Johnson here. I've heard reports that there is a lot of business for the new Portal Gun amongst this particular demographic, so I wanted to come address this myself. At this time, we at Aperture Science are working on a mass-produced model of the popular Portal Gun, and are looking for volunteers to test it. There have been a few bugs with portals taking different bits of people through different portals, but that shouldn't be much of a problem. Our top scientists are already working out the bugs."
He pauses to think. "Perhaps using beetles might not have been the best conductor for the power modulator. No matter. The upside of the program, you'll get twenty bucks out of the deal. Just imagine what you'll be able to do with twenty big ones just waiting to be spent. We'll have signup sheets at the exit booths for anyone interested."
With that, Cave Johnson exits the stage.
* * *
As the red curtain draws back you see an open mall parking lot, where Rainbow Dash comes rolling along on a skateboard. She's holding a video camera in her hoof, looking about as she rolls up next to a sign labeled 'Twin Pines Mall'. A clock built into the sign announces that it's 1:16 AM. Somewhere off in the back, you hear Scootaloo squeal with delight.
Looking out across the lot, Rainbow spots a large white truck sitting alone in the otherwise vacant space. On the side of the vehicle, the words 'Dr. E. Hooves Enterprises' is printed in big letters. Picking up her skateboard, Rainbow heads over to the vehicle.
As she approaches, she spots Winona, who is sitting patiently, staring up at the truck. Rainbow Dash pats the border collie as she kneels next to the smaller animal. "Winona! Hey Winona, where's the Doc, girl? huh?"
A loud, electronic humming begins emanating from the truck as the tailgate lowers slowly towards the ground. Rainbow Dash rises slowly to her hooves, watching as a heavily modified Delorean rolls backwards from the truck, humming as it pulls back next to the curious pony. The gull wing door on the left side springs open, emitting a thick cloud of fog from the interior of the vehicle. Dr. Whooves emerges from the smog with an almost bewildered look on his face. His mane has been messed up and dyed white, a lab coat pulled over his body. He turns about as Rainbow Dash approaches him, calling out.
"Doc!"
"Rainbow McFly, you made it!" Dr. Whooves exclaims with a smile. He waves his hooves, gesturing at the vehicle. "Welcome to my latest experiment, the one I've been waiting for all of my life!"
"Ah well it's a car of some kind, what'd you do with it?"
"Stay with me Rainbow. All of your questions will be answered. Roll tape, and we'll proceed." The Doctor leads Rainbow away from the vehicle, urging her to begin recording.
"Ah Doc, is that a-" Rainbow McFly tries to get a word in edgewise, but the Doctor waves her off.
"Never mind that now, never mind that now. Not now." He straightens up in front of the still fuming car.
"Alright, I'm ready." The flustered pegasus replies, pointing the camera at Dr. Whooves.
"Good evening, I'm Doctor Emmett Hooves. I'm standing on the parking lot of Twin Pines Mall. It's Saturday morning, October 26, 1985, 1:18 AM, and this is temporal experiment number one."
With a burst of energy, Dr. Whooves goes to the back of the car. "C'mon, Winy, yes that's a good dog." He aids the excitable little dog into the car. Winona, who has clearly never been on a car ride, bounces in the seat excitedly. "In you go! Sit down, that's it."
Returning his attention to the camera, Dr. Whooves holds up a pair of digital watches each hung from lanyards about his and Winona's neck. "Please note, that Winona's watch is precisely in time with mine." As he says it, the two watches both change from 1:18 to 1:19. "Got it?"
"Yeah, got it. But what's the point of that?" Rainbow asks impatiently.
"Those aren't your lines." Dr. Whooves answers, his expression growing flustered. "Those weren't my lines either!"
"I don't care who's lines they were anyway, they're boring!" Rainbow retorts, rolling her eyes. "I was promised an explosive action scene, and all I get is a bunch of talking!"
"Oh, there'll be plenty of that, my colorful friend." The Doctor assured her, pulling a remote from the back of the car's seat. Shutting the door, he smiled at the curious dog. "Have a good trip, Winona." Stepping back from the car, Dr. Whooves begins fiddling with the joysticks, sending the car back across the stage.
"Cool!" Rainbow McFly lifts the camera, focusing it on the car.
"Watch this." With a flick of the controls, Dr. Whooves sends the Delorean speeding straight at the two of them!
"Wait, what're you doing!?" Rainbow asks nervously as the vehicle picks up speed. "Are you crazy!?"
"If my calculations are correct, when this babe reaches eighty-eight miles per hour, we'll see some serious sh- well, shouldn't finish that." The Doctor says, trying to get back to his lines.
"You're gonna get us both killed!" Rainbow starts flying away as the car speeds towards them, only to be stopped by Dr. Whooves.
"Watch this, watch this!" He exclaims excitedly!
The car screeches as it accelerates at them, flashing and glowing as it reaches speed. With a sudden, brilliant light, the car vanishes, leaving a pair of fire trails behind, scorching across the stage right between the legs of the startled Rainbow Dash!
"What did I tell you!? Eighty-eight miles per hour!" The Doctor starts bounding around excitedly.
"Geez! What did you do!? Where's Winona!?"
"Don't worry, Winona is fine! She has been sent into the future!" Dr. Whooves exclaims, his eyes glowing animatedly. "Honestly I thought this might all be a joke, but that Dr. Brown is quite the inventor!"
"You mean if it didn't work, we could have been killed!?"
"Well… yes, but it was worth the risk."
"What!?" Rainbow squeals, beside herself with shock.
"Don't worry! Everything worked perfectly, and Winona will be back in thirty-one seconds." The Doctor explains calmly.
The pair of ponies waited patiently, standing well away from where the Delorean had vanished. Time passed, as the Doctor begins to fidget. He looks down at his watch, sweat starting to bead on his brow.
"Nothing's happening." Rainbow says, looking over at the Doctor.
Looking out at the audience, then back at Rainbow Dash, he gives you all an awkward smile. "Don't worry, I can fix this! Just give me a moment!" He hurries from the stage, followed by the now alarmed looking Rainbow Dash. From behind the curtains, you hear a commotion start.
"What in the hay did you do to mah dog!?"
"Don't be alarmed, it's just a miscalibration, I'm sure it can be fixed!"
"Ya better, or ah'll have some miscalibratin' ta do mahself!"
Spike rushes out as the curtains fall, mic clutched in his claw. "Don't worry everypony, things are under control! We'll just move on to the final part of the show!"
Fluttershy and Derpy emerge, pushing a massive screen out from backstage. The girls are followed closely by Bluenose and Yellowbelly, the changeling camera crew caperers, who wave at the audience's claps and cheers. They brohoof each other, then start cackling as Yellowbelly presses a button on the remote, bringing the screen to life as the lights dim.
* * *
The first thing you see is a heavy wooden door, with 'No Minors' and a series of federal regulations printed on it. The door is quickly pushed aside, revealing the interior of a bar. Wooden paneling and polished seats fill the floorspace, while a large cherrywood bar dominates the far right corner. The bartender, an older, dapple grey stallion with a brown mane and a sideburn/mustache combo eyes the screen, raising one eyebrow before turning back to his clientele.
Several familiar faces can be seen among the seated ponies. Rainbow Dash and Applejack are sitting next to each other at the bar, Twilight, Rarity, Pinkie Pie, Cadence, and Luna are all sharing a booth, and off at the far end of the room, Braeburn is slumped over the counter, clearly unconscious. The thrumming beat of the song 'Party Rock Anthem' pounds out over the audio system, causing the huge screen to wobble slightly.
The camera jerks back and forth, then focuses in on Bluenose, who is wearing an outrageous blue dress and a fake orange mane. The incorrigible changeling throws a wink at the camera, making kissy lips. The camera shifts back towards the room, and you hear a crash in the background. Slowly the tottering image draws closer to the bar, focusing in on Applejack, who is leaning against Rainbow Dash's shoulder.
The pair of them are both clearly drunk, Rainbow squeezing a mug of hard cider, doing her best to sit upright on the barstool as her eyes droop, a task made difficult by Applejack, who has thrown a hoof over her shoulders. The earth pony's right ear rests firmly against the athletic pegasus' left shoulder as she slumps along her friend's arm. A bottle of beer is hanging from her left hoof, four more empty one sit upon the counter.
"Yer mah *hic* mah bes' frien', ya know tha' Aaar Dee? Ah… ah don' wanna do anyth'n else tanigh' 'cept havin' a drink wi' ma bes' frien…" Applejack slurs, trying her best to right herself against the pegasus.
"Hermfrizzitle, grrmble der." Rainbow Dash mumbles, not seeming to even hear Applejack's attempt at conversation. She continues to mumble incoherently, then with a sort of finality, lifts her mug to her lips, downs the entire thing in a long chug, then drops off the stool, crashing to the floor!
"Whuhahoooah!" Applejack, already hopelessly overbalanced, careens from her seat as well, giggling and hiccuping repeatedly as she lays there, staring up at the camera.
"Heeheehaha, tha'zza funny lookin' hat'cha go-got there, pardner…" She smiles up at you, her head rolling gently back and forth as if she's dizzy. Rainbow Dash, having long given up any hope of remaining conscious, has passed out next to her on the floor.
The camera turns up and away amid cackling snickers, and turns towards the booth. The girls laughter rings merrily as your view is blocked momentarily by a large, angry brown face, covered in scars. After a bit of maneuvering, the camera focuses in again, to where the girls are chatting away over their drinks.
Twilight is fiddling with an ice cube, trying to slip it down Rarity's rather flouncy outfit without the other girls noticing. Her target remains blissfully unaware, yet it seems the alcohol has animated her, causing the mare to shift around on the booth, waving her hooves animatedly as she explains something in a high pitched tone of voice. Pinkie Pie and Cadence seem enamored with the conversation, while luna stares into a cup fizzling with an unknown drink.
Rarity's gesticulations suddenly land Twilight with a hoof in her nose, causing her to lose her grip on the ice cube. It slides straight down Rarity's back, sending the surprised fashionista bouncing from her seat in surprise. As Twilight grips her bruised nose with both hooves, Pinkie Pie throws on a big grin, hopping up onto the table. She begins trying to follow the twitching, jerking Rarity's motions like it's some kind of dance, while Cadence giggles, covering her mouth with one hoof to hide her smile.
Rarity finally manages to extract the ice cube, then promptly looks about the table accusingly, clearly demanding to know who pulled the prank. Luna barely looks up from her muddled slump, while Cadence bursts out laughing. Pinkie quickly joins in, falling from the table and spilling drinks as she falls.
Incensed by their callous response, Rarity spots a bucket of ice left behind at another table. With a quick flash of magic, she awkwardly levitates the bucket over the laughing girls' heads, and dumps it upon them. This only seems to make them laugh harder, drawing a pout from the unicorn.
* * *
Suddenly the scene is interrupted by a series of brilliant flashes! The missing Delorean reemerges, plowing squarely into the screen! Ponies scramble out of the uncontrolled vehicle's path as it plows into the seats, coming to rest halfway up the room! Several cast members peer out from behind the curtains at the colossal mess that has just been created by the out of control vehicle.
"The screen! The stage! The audience! Oh nononononono! This is a disaster!" Twilight bolts from behind the curtains, stopping halfway across the stage as she stares openmouthed at the destruction.
"Ah don't worry, I can fix this!" Dr. Whooves tries to assure her.
"Winona!" Applejack rushes past the others, scrambling to get into the car. "Yah! That's cold!"
"Bark, bark!" Winona yips from the driver's seat, her tail wagging hysterically as she bounces up and down.
Spike quickly takes the stage, while Boldheart and Wildfire escort a gibbering Twilight back through the curtains. "Well, that's our show everypony! Sorry about the mess." He is about to retreat when something pops into his head. He pauses, looking back out at you all.
"Oh, and be sure to send us your fanmail! Every episode from here on in, the cast will be reading your letters, and answering them on the show! Make sure that whatever you ask, it's clean enough for us to read, so that we can include your questions!" With that, he waves to you all. "Goodnight everypony!"
* * *
As the animated crowd floods from the theatre, you find yourself once again before the questions booth, where Apple Bloom, Scootaloo, and Sweetie Belle all wait eagerly to take your requests, and gather letters for the new fanmail section.
Off to the left, another booth sits with a big Aperture Science logo, several fliers for Cave Johnson's testing signups, as well as a link to yudhaikeledai.deviantart.com.
On the right, a third booth sits with information for youtube.com/user/ohaiumby, youtube.com/user/TheLivingTombstone, and youtube.com/user/OdysseyEurobeat, with suggestions to check out their work.
Once you finish at the booths, you finally escape the theatre to the outside air, where the crowd continues to talk about the craziness of today's episode, and eager ideas for next time!
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Cadence: "You want me to do a romance segment!? Yay! I'd love, love, love to!"
Twilight: "We'll get it down on the list! Thank you for your contribution!"
THIS FIC IS AN EPIC WIN!!!!!!!!
Why do I now picture rarity sitting in front of a TV eating a large tub of cookie and cream flavored ice cream while watching some corny television drama while yelling at the TV screen while being depressed and crap. all this while twilight is recording this.
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Twilight: "Hmm... I think I'm starting to like you, sir! This could be just what I need to get back at Rarity for that first episode. Thank you for the idea."
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Iron Will: "Iron Will refuses to do any such antics! He does not do ballet!"
Twilight: "We'll see about that, mister! Hey Rarity, could you get Iron Will's measurements? I want to get him fitted for a tutu!"
Rarity: "Oh yes, I'll get them right away!"
Iron Will: "Iron Will did not agree to this!"
Twilight: Magically floats Iron Will's contract up. "Oh yeah?"
Spike: "Thanks for the suggestion! We'll add it to the list!"
Here...my thumbs...YOU HAVE MY THUMBS.
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Twilight: "This could be quite interesting! We'd love to hear more, and I'll add your suggestion to the list!"
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Derpy: "Ooh, thumbs! We don't need those, but they are fun and wiggly!"
Perhaps Chrysalis could appear at some point or another, maybe disguising herself as one of the Princesses or someone of equal authority?
Ooh, and I'm really liking the idea of a Cupcakes parody somewhere down the road.
Though, there is one thing that stands out to me: Honestly, how can you have a staged show with occasional musical performances without Sapphire Shores, the Pony of Pop? I'd really like to see her show up in a future event, perhaps performing a ponified parody of some kind of pop song that's floating around right now.
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Apple Bloom: "Woohoo! Ya hear that girls! We're gonna get sum airtime!"
Scootaloo: "Cool! I wonder what kind of Cutie Mark airtime gives!"
Sweetie Belle: "Thank you for your contribution! We'll add your suggestion to the list."
LETS TURN FLUTTERSHY INTO A TREE!!! I don't if that would be a bad or good thing, but it sounds like such a dumb idea that it just might be good. or..... Wonderbolts show up!! ill let your mind to wander those possibilites...... The best idea....... Pinkie gets into some coffie...... extra strength
landartheconqueror.files.wordpress.com/2012/03/my-little-pony-friendship-is-magic-brony-full-of-chaos.jpg
"Hello there ladies, gentlecolts, and bronies! We are the Flim-flam Brothers with our newest, greatest, and completely-not-a-scam-est product...
Finish that sentence! And make it unbelievably big and/or destructive.
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Chrysalis: "I'm sure we can work something out to that effect!"
Pinkie: "Does that mean I get to pretend to be all psycho and stuff!? Ooh boy! That sounds like fun!"
Twilight: "She usually has to be booked a few weeks in advance, but I'll see what I can do. Thank you for your contributions, we'll add them to the list!"
762626
Twilight: "Wonderful! We'll add your suggestions to the list! At this rate, we're gonna have shows planned out for a month!"
Everypony: "Hooray!"
762632
Flam: "Here now, when have we ever done anything to scam anypony? We're just inventors with a talent!"
Flim: "Besides, Equestria isn't going to revolutionize itself! We're merely creating opportunity!"
Applejack: "Sure ya are! Oh, an' thanks fer the suggestion. We'll add it ta the list!"
762676
Rainbow Dash: "Y-you really want Fluttershy to go crazy again!? Are you crazy!?"
Twilight: "We're putting it on the list."
Rainbow Dash: "Please no!"
Twilight: "Doing it anyway. Thank you for the suggestion."
A skit where Fluttershy explains how Raimbow Dash is a lesbian
AND DO SOMETHING WITH GILDA
I think the Cutie Mark Crusaders need to make a performance, rather than just running the suggestions booth. Get them on stage!
762700
Rainbow Dash: "Oh boy, not this again."
Fluttershy: "We are supposed to respect everypony's opinions."
Rainbow Dash: "But I keep telling them-"
Fluttershy: "Please don't make this difficult. We all know how you feel, but you did sign the contract."
Rainbow Dash: "Fine... We'll put it on the list..."
Gilda: "About time you dweebs figured out who should really be the star around here."
762720
Sweetie Belle: "With all of the votes we're getting, we're sure to get a big part in the next show!"
Scootaloo: "Alright! Then we can earn out Cutie Marks in airtime, whatever that means!"
Apple Bloom: "Your vote's been added ta the list! Thank ya kindly fer yer contribution!"
762606 Maybe you could attach them to your OTHER thumbs and have two really long thumbzez!
Also: Fluttershy singing her .SHED brainz song, with Rainbow Dash actually dying, and Fluttershy actually going crazy and jumping into the crowd with her chainsaw.
Fluttershy: (gulpes as she finishes off RD's brains, audience gasps) I'm still HUNGRY!!!
Twilight: Aah! No! Somebody call a SWOT team!!!
762756
Derpy: Still busy playing with thumbs.
Twilight: "Uhh... actually we aren't permitted to intentionally maim or kill on the PVS. Not that we'd want to. It's one thing to throw in some antics or have somepony get a little crazy, and entirely another to try and get somepony hurt. We've still got your suggestions on the list, and hope you continue to enjoy the show!"
I want to see more Statler and Waldorf, or an equivalent of them. After all, no show is complete without a pair of old people insulting the work.
762787
Geri Fore: "So ya like our jokes there, sonny?"
Mr. Waddle: "Of course he does!"
Geri Fore: "How're you so sure?"
Mr. Waddle: "Well, nobody ever asks for our faces!"
Both: "Dohohohohoho!"
762799
Rarity: "Oh that would be just delicious! We'll get it on the list right away!"
Rainbow Dash: "I can play that in ten seconds flat!"
Twilight: "No you can't! You don't even have fingers!"
Rainbow Dash: "So!?"
pinkie somehow gets a hold of an energy drink and starts bouncing around the theater at sonic speeds before she comes crashing through your computer screen and continues to bounce around your room making a mess of things. While pinkie terrorizes your room a lasso comes through the computer screen, wraps around you, and pulls you through. You land in front of applejack in the theater who apologises before throwing her lasso again through a hole in space pulling out a hyperactive pinkie and chains her to the floor. Doctor Hooves comes out from behind the curtain questioning what all the fuss is about. He sees the situation, gives pinkie an annoyed look and an exasperated sigh before pulling out a roll of duct tape and uses it to cover up the hole in the fourth wall. He promises to take you back home in the TARDIS after the show and you take a seat among the crowd.
762818
Discord: "Excellent! Soon my rule will be complete!"
Twilight: "Umm... excuse me, Discord, but the election hasn't started yet. You're only allowed to campaign."
Discord: "Oh, you're such a killjoy, you know that?"
Twilight: "Thank you for the vote, but we'll need you to do it during the actual election. We do appreciate your support though!"
762831
Pinkie Pie: "Sounds like fun! I better put it on the list!"
Hey Discord?! How about some R63 in the show?
I would love to see a CHangelings segment on the next show.
And also either Scootaloo or Rainbow Dash does a madden stunt that is sure to wow the crowd along with bring in a few broken bones in their bodies.
Oh, and I would love a Gummy and Pinkie Pie segment because they're awesome.
Man you guys sure do keep the construction ponies busy with all this destruction. Yay destruction.
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Discord: "I'd be happy to!" Snaps.
Twilight: *In a rather masculine voice* "Not right now! Wait until the show!" He turns to you. "Thanks for the suggestion, I think... I'll put it on the list."
762851
Bluenose: "Ooh yeah!"
Yellowbelly: "Vote it up! Vote it up!"
Rainbow Dash: "Hey Twi, the fans say they wanna see more of my daredevilry!"
Twilight: "I heard. I'll put another mark for it on the list!"
Pinkie: "Hey Gummy! Everypony wants more of us! Yay!"
Gummy: Bites Pinkie's head.
762854
Spike: "Excellent! We'll have some more of them then! Thanks for your vote!"
762861
Twilight: "Things do tend to get hectic here on the show!"
i know i said this last chapter but i really wanna see something about colt cuddling
762874 You look nice as Dusk Shine!
Oh sweet Celestia... Why did "Fluttershy sings 'September'" pop into my head?
*Chainsaw starts*
Yes, that's why. *Quickly makes for the exit* See you next time!
Needs more Pony Your Pony Could Smell Like. Starring Roid Rage.
762909
Twilight: "Please understand, we're not trying to push you away, but there's a lot of requests, and we're doing our best for everypony. Unless we really get enough requests, I can't promise you anything."
762938
Twilight: "Thank you for the suggestion! We'd love to try and pull a skit like that off! I'll add your suggestion to the list. As a note, we tend to call him Horse Power here, just so you know!"
Horse Power: "Yeeaah!"
762920
Twilight (Dusk): "Well this is just great... Discord! Turn me back right now!"
Discord: "Oh you're no fun!" Snaps.
Twilight: "That's better!"
762563
Hey Rarity and Twilight,I got a better idea for Iron Will.Here's a question for you Iron Will.Did you ever have any past experience in wrestling?
I stick to what I said last show and will send a pm for the rest of the details
Also I have a new pitch: have Pinkie Pie try to befriend Shadow the Hedgehog
763063
Iron Will: "Iron Will has wrestled on the National Minotaur Circuit, the Interspecies Open, and the prestigious PWF!"
763079
Pinkie Pie: "I love special guest suggestions! We get to meet so many interesting ponies and people that way! I can't wait! I can't wait!"
Twilight: "Calm down Pinkie. We'll put it on the list. Thank you very much for your contribution!"
I just realized something...... isn't this a 'Dinner' theater?
If so, where is my sanvich and cannon?
763555
Twilight: "Well, it wasn't actually a dinner theatre, but we might do an after hours show for candlelight dinners or something. I'll put it on the list."
763573 That's answers one thing, but what happened to the cannon I sent you?
763589
Twilight: "We're still working on that part..."
A giant explosion goes off in the back.
Twilight: "I'll get back to you on that." She dashes off to take care of the unknown disaster.
763704
Sorry for being late.Anyway what I'm going to suggest is a exhibition wrestling match between Iron Will and a special guest wrestler,whose identity will be revealed as soon as I'm with my search.
Does that sound good?
Mane 6 and the rest of the show's crew,what do you all think of this?
763704
Hey have you all thought of pairing RD with Sonic the Hedgehog?They seem like a good pair.Both are fast,blue,and usually don't like to be slow.