Rainbow Dash is helping Fluttershy take care of the animals. She finds it the perfect time to tell Fluttershy her secret. If only she could get the words out.
Chapters (1)
- Member Since 23rd Aug, 2015
- offline last seen May 7th, 2016
StarMark
My love for MLP has expanded and has reach the point of fanfictions, and here I am. My fanfics' may be bad at first, but I'll get better. I mean we all do.
StarMark
Joined 23rd Aug, 2015 ·
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Fluttershy certainly seems bold in this fic. Kind of out of character if you ask me. Also there are quite few spelling mistakes that make me think this wasn't reread before it was posted.
My main takeaway from this fic though is that there isn't really anything in it that made me feel anything. It's just kind of... meh. A large part of that is certainly to do with the fact that there really isn't much detail given regarding the characters' demeanors. That, in my opinion, is the most important part of any romance.
Would I say that this fic is "OK"? Well... almost.
The basic plot is established, but a large fraction of detail was left out.
You referenced a sleepover, but didn't give us any detail on it. That would have been nice.
The ending was satisfactory.
It would have been magnificent to have gotten insight into both characters' emotions
I loved every word!