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Once every month, a mare appears on a remote beach, far from her home. She plays, she reads, she sleeps, and she wastes precious, precious time.
Chapters (8)
Miller Minus
Joined 10th Aug, 2014 ·
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It's curious, certainly. Oddly solitudinous, which if it is not a word now is one. But a nice solitudinous!
6682328 Hate to break it to you, but it's a word :P Thanks for reading! I hope you like where it goes.
MOAR pls
Alright, so let's put some thought into words.
Put simply, this is a great, great read. I had my suspicions when I first saw this on the New Stories tab - this sort of story is usually packaged in only one way - and I'm glad to say it both met and exceeded my expectations going in. You had me hooked by the second chapter. The sense of beauty of the island really shines through in Celestia's actions; it's given foundation in the narrator's own experiences. The organic, evolving construction of both the narrator and Celestia - especially how he(?) comes to meet and form impressions of this magnificent stranger - make this an engrossing, binge-read demanding piece.
Each chapter is exactly as long as it should be to deliver its payload, and the pacing shows a clever sense on controlling progress. If anything, the story suffers for the demand of investment it requires - firstly, it's oneshot-esque, or rather complete as a whole released as a serial, which incentivises waiting until it's done; secondly, it starts in media res - atmospherically consistent, but a bit narrow in its initial appeal. These are not bad things by any means, and I'm not saying that I would have it any other way - just some tangents on its rather quiet reception. But such is how mood-centric SoL stories go.
Love the idea, absolutely love the execution, and I really cannot wait to see this through. None of this is exaggeration.
6689151 Oh, I'm so blessed. Thanks for the insightful comment. And thank you so much for the watch and the favourite. And for adding it to "defintely"! What's that shelf for?
I'm curious; how are these usually packaged?
The reason I'm releasing it in bits like this is because last time I put out a story this long (not in bits) it didn't get viewed all that much. I just sort of made a guess that big long stories in the new stories feed can be a turn-off. I could have been wrong, but I'm just trying new things.
Last chapter tomorrow! See you then.
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Personal purposes. I could've sworn the shelf was private >_> but yeah, you probably saw that there were three grades, of which "definitely" is the least concerning. =P
Slim synopsis, minimalistic cover, titles and tagging. Larger, more forward fics that rely on a more action-/character-oriented structure usually have more solid synopses that give you a clue on the content; mood-centric pieces, or ones that feature more non-forward craft (usually unreliable narrators, the ones where part of the fun is piecing together the story as it goes along, etc.) do not give many clues on content, and it's more of a exhaustive rather than active conclusion that clues in on nature. A couple of examples off the top of my head are this one and this one, both are the second type.
Hey - it worked on me =P the second bump was what got me to bite.
Looking forward to the last chapter!
Don't forget your black highlighter!
Poor Reynard.
welp. Did not expect that. Well played good sir/madam.
And that was very unexpected, in a great way. For fanfic, it's always more satisfying when you tap into the resources already present. This was a good example. Thank you for the read.
12 likes? This story need more attention!
Very good story with happy end!
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Thanks for reading, everyone!
Definitely a good story! Faintly confused at the ending - was Philomena always a bird, or did she get transfigured at the end?
6704326
It's what happened at the end of S1E22. Thanks for reading!
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I got that part, I was more wondering if she was always a phoenix, because perspective-wise she seems to be implying she's a pony up till that point
6706422 At what point did she imply that?
6706606
It could just be audience assumption. All the bits about houses, I suppose!
6706767 Hmmmmm. See, I was definitely going for audience assumption there, but I want to make sure I'm not being misleading. I think I'll have a read through before I submit this to EQD to make sure none of that is going on. Thanks or your help!
Hi there mr. Author. Miller minus, are you perhaps an Australian? Mayyyybe English? And Chapter seven, those two ponies Househead and Greenchart sure do *sound* the mysterious sort.
So
Very
Unidentifiably
Mysterious
And
Courtly
<(0)>
So how long have you been holding this stretch of words in? Just how long?
6736298 I'm Canadian, actually. Almost the other side of the world
Where are you from?
Let's see... I started this story back in the end of September so I'd say I had the idea for about two months. I, um.... I think that's what you were asking.
Thanks for reading!
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Is that what you TH1NK!?
And I jumped over to your other story. A nice dragon you found there. I've always been secretly partial to this sort. Guilty pleasures, non?
[youtube=http://m.youtube.com/watch?list=PLDFE370B41E29ACB8&v=Gwe0UmYwKiw]
Holla holla get dolla. Green back presidents specifically.
6736376 Oh wow, that's an old one....
Welp, she'll turn up again in some of my upcoming stories, so I hope you'll stick around.
So, what, this is all Celly taking a load off while trying to pick between two potential boyfriends?
...You know, if Celestia had any inkling she was leaving a castaway behind all this time, she'd be mortified, and probably glad to try to get him back home.
Heh. Well played.
6738350
You'd think that. You'd be wrong.
[youtube=https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=0bxnuOdWUmA]
[youtube=https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=JzmWLCchymk]
I just realised I accidentally fave'd this story without a comment.
This certainly was a fun read. As 6690477 mentioned earlier, this kind of story seems to have a distinctive set of characteristics and I twigged onto the fact that all was not as it initially seemed. However, the ending still took me by surprise; I thought the narrator was a griffon until the denouement at the end.
My only (very minor) gripe was that the ending felt a bit narrator fiat ass-pull. The narrator's... err... narration was sufficiently vague enough to introduce ambiguity, but it felt too ambiguous. I never got the feeling I could reread the story with the ending in mind and see things, words, actions,.. in a different light. It is all broad, general brush-strokes.
That being said, I really enjoyed this story!
6770880 That's an excellent point! I guess bird metaphors can only go so far.
Cheers!
Excellent story. Has a good vibe, keeps the identity of the narrator a mystery quite well (though it may have been just me), and there's some cryptic stuff going on, which is always nice. Good job!
I'd discuss my questions here, but I'd rather not spoil for anyone else.
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It's definitely the bits about houses, because that makes no sense at all given the narrator is a phoenix. In multiple chapters it's very clear about referring to the structure as a "house", and in chapter 5 it mentions "The rain blew in from the open window" and identifies the structure as being constructed out of boards. I suppose hypothetically it could be a birdhouse, but that implies it was actively constructed by a pony for Philomena's sake, which raises its own set of unanswered questions.
Things like the size comparison in chapter 1 are clever misdirections in hindsight, but the house just feels like a lie. If you're still editing this that's the one part that needs to be addressed.
That said, the narration here is unique and the story's accumulated mysteries are engaging. Thank you for a good read.
Whatever happens in this story, I need to drop praise on this first chapter: the opening line, the situation and the narrator's voice are all remarkable.
I'm totally feeling this book right now.
Man, I wish I could figure out what was going on. This is great, though.
ohi Luna :V At least I was able to figure out the time period from this chapter!
AW SNAP
I didn't figure it out until halfway through the chapter, but that was an excellent read. :D
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i.imgur.com/FJM2IcY.gif
Yes, it is a house. I think I just need to point out a little more that it's a bit big for her. That's just a chapter one thing, and chapter one is malleable as hell.
Once I get the time, that'll be the first thing I do. Thanks for the insight, Horizon.
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Thanks for stopping by, sir! And I'm super grateful for your pointing out of my typos (though one was on purpose!)
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reactiongifs.com/r/agtmbomg.gif
>Me when I opened my notifications.
Thanks for the watch!
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Typos? I see no typos! :V
When I read that, I laughed like a maniac for a good five minutes.
Well, that certainly was a confusing read. I'm not altogether sure what to make of it. I mean, I get what happens in it and who it involves, but I honestly don't have the slightest idea how to feel about it.
6824048 Thanks for reading anyhow
Whaaaaaaaat it's an origin story for Philomena?? Ha! Didn't see that one coming at all. I thoroughly enjoyed this Miller. I'm a sucker for Celestia anyway but I liked your portrayal of her here. You gave her a mystique while still making her relatable, showing a princess who wants to do the right thing but like so many of us finds she mucks it up.
Reading through the comments, I want to say that I had no issue with Philomena's house. I thought it was clear from the outset it was a regular sized tree house, and while I wasn't sure what creature the narrator was, by about halfway through I was confidant it was a smaller animal. Celestia never hears her making noise and even walks right into the tree house without noticing her.
Anyhoo, good work Miller!
6847763 Oh, careful! Please use a spoiler tag when you talk about that stuff
people might scroll down too early.
I'm so glad you enjoyed it! I'm super excited by your comment because I actually just fixed the houses problem, and it sounds like it worked! The issue before I think was that I accidentally referred to the tree house as a house at first, only to later on mention it was in a tree. *facepalm*
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Oops! Fixed. ^.^
Ah good to hear! I think the mention of wombats also helped, oddly enough, because it made me think of the narrator being a bat, which is small. Weird eh?
Hello!
Grand Moff Pony here on behalf of the group You Might Like This. I wanted to let you know that your story was featured in one of our monthly recommendation posts.
Thank you for sharing your story with the community, and have a great day!
-GMP
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Oh my, that has to be the best twist I have seen in ages. I knew something was coming, but the way you handled that reveal was masterful, particularly how it ties up all manners of loose ends and strange things in the narration. Thank you very much for writing this fic!
Just one question: Why is Philomena afraid/worried about dying? I'd expect that to be pretty normal for a phoenix. I'd understand if it was her first time, but she also has this weird obsession with mortality and "wasting time" (a recurring theme of the fic) that makes this reasoning kinda hard for me to believe.
6868867 Thank you very much for reading! And thanks for the watch!
Just one answer: It's a bit of misdirection here, but everything she says has a reason, even in Backlash. Like you said, it's her first time, which is why she's both afraid of it and able to joke about it. The reason she was upset with the time-wasting is because, basically, dying to a phoenix is like going through a terrible, months-long flu that leaves them too weak to do anything but look after themselves. So while she's busy wishing she could be flying back home, she's having to watch PC frolic about without a care in the world, and not doing anything productive. She's just as immortal as Philomena, but she gets to "skip the whole process".
#50thcomment