Epilogue
Fine stepped out of the Everfree Forest to a sight both familiar and not. Ponyville stood in the distance, larger than it ever was before. The chill of late autumn brought smoke from the chimneys, but that did nothing to hide the sunset. Even if it was bigger, it still had an idyllic, small town appearance, especially now that the shanty towns were starting to disappear. Props to Twilight Sparkle; when she started a reconstruction program, things got done.
He glanced about the worn path, but found nothing; no buildings, no ponies, no distractions. Effectively reassured, he trotted along the path and towards town.
Rainbow Dash and Lightning Dust were visiting Fluttershy’s. They were settled around her picnic table, chatting animatedly about something or other. He could just make out Tree Hugger in the window, probably making dinner for them all. Little Keen Arrow was playing with some squirrels nearby. She waved excitedly upon seeing him, her long white mane fluttering in the wind. He grinned and waved back. She was getting taller. And cuter. Some colt was going to get his heart broken with that one.
The mares noticed him and waved. Fluttershy gestured, inviting him to join. He shook his head with a smile and pointed to town; he had something else that needed doing. The mares gave a collective shrug and went back to their conversation, but Fluttershy's gaze lingered a little bit longer. There was something in her smile: an understanding, and encouragement. Fine accepted both gratefully, and turned away with ease.
Into town he went. Few ponies were out at this hour, but even so, being out in the open left a feeling of eyes on his back. There were so many shadows, it would be foal’s play to hide and make his way by stealth.
But no. That would defy the point, wouldn’t it?
A gang of foals ran past, chattering loud enough to wake the dead. He noticed Applejack’s sister among them. Now what were they doing running about at this time of day? He’d have followed them, but decided against it; if a bunch of kids weren’t safe in Ponyville, they weren’t safe anywhere.
He came to a familiar street corner. Down the street to his left was the Carousel Boutique, which was starting to get crowded in by the new shops. Rarity complained sometimes, but her business was booming, so only a little. Word was she planned on opening a second boutique in Canterlot once the relief efforts finally died down.
Ah, and there was Nye’s Nights and Jimmy’s Days. The lights were off at Jimmy’s, indicating he’d closed shop early. Most unusual for that workaholic. His brother’s coffee shop, however, was as alive as ever, the lights shining brightly and a crowd visible even at a distance. Fine steered clear; as proud as he was of Nye’s success, he wasn’t about to get caught in the middle of so many ponies.
Another six months before the wedding. Plenty of time for the couple to plan things. Knowing them, they’d wait until the last minute. Then again, with friends like Twilight and Rarity on their side, they may have already finished all of that. The latter had practically exploded at the news, and Fine still had to honor a promise to come in for a suit fitting. The fact he already had a dozen formal suits didn’t faze the unicorn an iota. He supposed he shouldn’t complain about a free outfit.
The Golden Oaks Library. Still dark, but not for long. After four months away from home, Twilight’s job in Canterlot was coming to an end. Another week and she’d be back in the old tree, offering up books with lectures free of charge. She’d be just in time to meet the thestral envoys. He couldn’t help but smile at that; it would be nice to see Fang and Polar again.
And then, just like that, his destination came into view: Sugarcube Corner. Most of the shop lights were out by now, though a kitchen window and the upstairs residency remained brightly lit. Fine’s steps slowed him to a stop. His throat was so dry. He stood there, staring at the confection-themed building. She was inside, and as much as he knew this had to happen… he didn’t know if he wanted it to.
Sucking down a long breath, Fine forced his legs to move. The building loomed over him like some sort of sugar-coated sentinel, just daring him to knock. Despite his stomach cutting flips, Fine called its bluff and did so.
A moment passed before the door opened a crack. An eye peered out, and then the door opened wide to reveal the pleasant smile of Mrs. Cake. “Why, hello, Fine. Should have known it was you. Who else would come calling at this time of day?”
Fine inclined his head to her politely. “Good evening, Mrs. Cake. I was hoping to get the chance to visit Pinkie. She still up?”
The mare chuckled and stepped back, inviting him in with a gesture. “Oh, yes, you know her. With no way to expend all that energy, she ends up staying awake at all hours of the night. She’s finally able to move on her own, don’chaknow.”
Fine’s ears perked. “Good news! When did that happen?”
“Two days ago. Poor thing’s still stiff and can’t move around much at all, but at least she can move, which is quite the improvement.” Mrs. Cake sighed and shook her head as she guided him through the dark shop and to the stairs. “Still sucking down soups, though, the poor thing.”
Fine paused at the bottom of the steps, his gaze on the first one. Gradually, he followed them up with his eyes. The second floor was brightly lit, and yet… somehow it seemed ominous. Fine’s chest tightened as he thought of what he was about to do.
Mrs. Cake, standing beside him, gave him a curious look. “Is something wrong, Fine?”
He didn’t look at her, just kept watching the second floor with a solemn expression. “Did she ever tell you just how she received those injuries?”
There was no need to look; he could feel Mrs. Cake shuffling her hooves. “Well… yes.”
“And you’re okay with me going up there?”
She was quiet for a time. “Pinkie trusts you. That’s good enough for us.”
He looked to find her smiling in her motherly way. He wasn’t sure what to say, so he settled for a quiet, “Thank you.”
“Don’t mention it, dearie. Now you go up there and do whatever has you so nervous.” She waited, watching him.
Fine stood as still as could be, listening to the world around him. It was so quiet. She was watching. He was stalling. His eyes drifted up the stairs, and his stomach churned.
"That was a good day."
Fine blinked and glanced at Mrs. Cake. Her gaze had fallen past him, on a picture that hung from the wall. He'd never taken the time to look at it before. It depicted a filly Pinkie, maybe ten, covered in flour and looking sheepish while a grinning Mr. Cake looked on. Fine stared at it for a few seconds, a smile slowly curling his lips.
Mrs. Cake hummed and nodded to herself. "Pinkie wasn't always as great in the kitchen as she is today, don’chaknow. She wanted to bake a cake all by herself for the first time ever. The bag of flour was as big as she was, but she just had to carry it all on her own." She sighed and moved up the steps. "She'd been with us less than a year at that time."
Fine found himself taking a few steps with her, pausing as she did. Another picture on the wall: the Cakes, younger and standing close together in the snow before their shop. A ‘Grand Opening’ sign hung just over the happy couple.
"That was the year before," she said, her voice wistful. "Opening the shop was hard, but we were young and determined. What could possibly stop us? Pinkie showed up a month later, hungry and alone and looking for work. Can you imagine, a nine year old asking for a job? We really couldn't afford it, but we didn't have the heart to turn her away. Pinkie, and Pinkie alone, made it work."
Another few steps, another picture. This one showed Pinkie, a plump teenager, working with unusual focus in the kitchen, unaware of the camera. A dollop of cake batter hung precariously from her ear and she glared into a cookbook, the tip of a wooden spoon between her teeth.
"Pinkie was homeschooled, you see. Carrot and I taught her everything we knew. She's a more diligent student than most ponies would think." Mrs. Cake reached past Fine to rub the frame, a soft frown on her lips. "She didn't treat herself well back then. She worked so hard. I can't help but think that she was trying to avoid something. Or maybe forget."
A little higher. The next picture showed Twilight’s library, bedecked with streamers and confetti and all the proper party trimmings. The unicorn didn’t look very happy with her soon-to-be friends. Spike, on the other hand, appeared to be having a blast.
"But even in her growing years, Pinkie was a social butterfly. She used to be so nervous and excited at the same time. 'Nervoucited,' she liked to call it." Mrs. Cake chuckled, but it was a quiet sound. "She was throwing parties from the beginning. Sometimes I think they act as a kind of self-therapy. They worried us in the beginning due to the cost, but that stopped the moment her antics started bringing in more customers than we ever expected."
Fine followed her farther along, wholly devoted to this small journey into the past. This picture featured another plump Pinkie, perhaps the same age as the earlier picture. She stood behind a booth full of cupcakes, brownies and pies. She was with a similarly aged, skinny-legged Applejack, and the two proudly displayed blue and red ribbons. Granny Smith stood in between, appearing exhausted but grinning no less than her young companions.
"Everypony loves Pinkie, don’chaknow. It is amazing just how good she is at making friends, considering how quiet and scared she was when we first met her. A few times she'd come home after a party or a gathering and just... hide in her room. We could never understand why, since everypony involved agreed she'd had a good time. It worried us for a while. One day she stopped doing that and we let the matter drop, but I still wonder."
At the top of the stairs, they came to a pause. The last picture in the set contained five ponies before the counter of Sugarcube Corner. Carrot Cake held Pumpkin on his back. He rubbed cheeks with Cup Cake, who sat with Pound Cake safely trapped behind her forelegs. Pinkie was between them, jumping high with her legs outstretched as if to surprise the couple with a hug from behind. She had the biggest, silliest grin on her face.
A hoof touched Fine's shoulder. Mrs. Cake looked him in the eye, her features gentle. "I think I know why you're here, Fine. I am well aware of how our Pinkie looks at you, and don't think we didn't notice how frequent your visits have become."
With cheeks burning, he eyed the floorboards, one hoof tracing the grain. "I'm not sure it's what you think it is, Mrs. Cake."
"Maybe. Maybe not." She set a hoof under his chin, raising it so he couldn't avoid looking into her eyes once more. "But she is our daughter, and you have her eye. That makes us nervous."
He turned his head, eyes lingering on Pinkie's door. The moths were back in his stomach. He licked his lips and closed his eyes. "I don't intend to hurt her, Mrs. Cake."
"I know you don't." She released her hold and turned away. "All I'm asking is that you be careful. She's may be tough in body, but on the inside my daughter is fragile. Whatever happens between you two, we'll be alright with it as long as you keep that in mind." She gave him one last, small smile and pressed a hoof to her lips. "Keep quiet, now. The foals are asleep."
She walked back downstairs. He watched her go, heart heavy. That weight moved to his legs as he shifted his attention to Pinkie's door. He understood exactly what had just happened. It felt far too early for 'that' talk, but... that was it, wasn't it? It gave what he would do next a lot more heft. Did the Cakes already think that he and Pinkie were 'settled'? He had no idea what to think about that.
They were Pinkie's... family. More or less. That they'd never formally adopted her didn't change the fact. Had Mrs. Cake just granted her 'blessing,' then? The thought left a peculiarly warm feeling within him, one that shooed away the moths and lifted the weight from his legs. The reaction was no less curious, but he'd stalled long enough.
Fine stood at the door. A glance at the window showed that it was now night. The best time for being out and about. Probably not the best time to be knocking on a mare’s bedroom door.
There were those moths again. Determined little buggers, weren't they?
He could do this. It was just a talk. He raised his hoof to knock. The door opened before he could.
Pinkie’s mane had grown back some, coming down to just below the ears. Fine thought it looked good that way, what with how it let her face have more presence. Though she had bags under her eyes and her legs wobbled, she grinned from ear to ear. The excitement in her voice was tempered by her average volume. “You came to visit me.”
Fine chewed his lip and scratched the tip of his hoof on the floorboards. “Actually… Can we talk?”
She giggled and walked into the room. “Of course we can, silly billy. What do you expect to do when you visit?”
Poof, there went the moths. Funny, how easily they ran away once he actually got to talking to her. He smiled and followed her in. “I guess that was a dumb question.”
Her room wasn’t as much of a mess as most ponies might expect. More of a mess than he was accustomed to, but still not bad. Gummy sat atop a pile of plushies, absent-mindedly chewing on the neck of a rubber chicken. Get well cards were pinned to a cork board on one wall, and a small desk was covered to overflowing with papers. A quick glance revealed most of them to be complex invention designs or plans for future, themed parties.
He lifted up one such sheet with his magic, studying a new flying contraption apparently designed to carry multiple ponies. “I see by the hoofwriting that you took my advice and spoke to Jimmy.”
“Yep. He has some great ideas.” With careful motions and no small number of winces, Pinkie crawled her way onto her bed. She finally settled down in a sitting position with a relieved sigh. “He might even help me build one, although I don’t know if he’ll ever find the time.”
“Just get Nye on your side,” Fine suggested, setting the page back and continuing his idle examination of the room. “Do that and Jimmy won’t stand a chance.”
Pinkie didn’t respond at first. When she did, there was a curious tone to her voice. “Wiggly ears. Tickly nose.”
He paused to glance at her. She watched him intently. “So… what’s that mean?”
“It means…” She shuffled a little before settling down to a laying position with a groan. “That you’re stalling.”
Horseapples, there were those moths again. He took a steadying breath before sitting down as well, not quite facing her. “I guess there’s no hiding it from you, huh?” When he looked again, her mane had fallen flat. With its short length, it reminded him of a bob cut.
She offered a sad smile. “What did you want to tell me, Fine?”
Was the tension in her body due to the pain, or worry? He studied her pose absent-mindedly, quietly noting all the small marks barely visible under her coat. So many scars. The memory made him cringe.
He was distracting himself again. He shook his head forcefully and made himself look into her heavy lidded eyes. “Alright. I’ve put this off long enough. And I’m sorry for that, I’m just…” he shuffled and averted his eyes. Why were his cheeks burning?
“I understand,” she assured him, voice wistful. “You’re not comfortable doing new things. I think I know what you’re going to say anyway.”
This time when he looked into her eyes, he did so with a sense of conviction. “No, Pinkie, I don’t think you do.”
“Pinkamina.”
There she went again, thinking that… No. He closed his eyes and sucked down a long breath. No distractions. One thing at a time. This was too important to get sidetracked.
He opened his eyes. “Three months ago, you confessed.”
Pinkie bowed her head. “Y-yeah, I remember. It’s okay if—”
His hoof shot up. “Let me finish.” He waited to see if she’d say anything else. When she didn’t, he carried on. “I haven’t decided yet.”
She raised her head, eyes wide. “What? After three months?” Surprise faded for a critical look that seemed half-mocking. “Mares don’t like indecisive stallions, y’know.”
“Ah, but I intend to try something.” He managed a wry smile, despite his insides performing a circus act. “In all our little visits these past few months, I’ve come to realize just how right you are. We are…” The smile fell. “We’re broken ponies.”
She sighed and nodded. “Yeah, we definitely are.”
“But why are we broken?”
Pinkie’s brow furrowed in uncertainty. “Um… because we used to be Bloodmanes. And we have violent tendencies?”
He shifted his head to give her a one-eyed look. “It goes deeper than that, doesn’t it?”
“But the Bloodmane is the cause,” she replied with a lost tone.
He moved a little closer, until he was right in front of her. She blushed and tilted her head away.
Fine raised his hooves, hesitated… then set them atop hers. He did his best to ignore how his own cheeks were burning. “Pinkie, you’re interested. And I… I’m so unaccustomed to this kind of thing, I’m just not sure about myself anymore. Maybe I do like you that way. I don’t know. We both have… secrets.”
Pinkie’s gaze locked on his hooves atop hers. Her eyes were as wide as the saucers. Her cheeks could probably light up the room on their own. After a moment of silence, she swallowed audibly and, without looking up, asked. “S-so what do you want to do about it?”
“Break down a few walls.” He leaned down until his eyes met hers. The way she shivered and her pupils were dilated, he wondered if she wouldn’t try to run away. “I think we should go on a little trip together.”
She blinked. Her eyes darted about the room as she asked, “A t-trip? What kind of trip?”
His next words ended the shaking, her eyes snapping to meet his. “To the rock farm. To meet your family.”
Pinkamina Diane Pie went whiter than the moon.
Special thanks to Grand_Moff_Pony for pre-reading and helping me make this story better. (I almost went with your song pic, bro!)
So that ends my latest entry in the No Heroes universe. Now I have to decide where to go next. There's really only two options: either I can follow Octavia on her vacation in Nildia, or I can follow Fine and Pinkie to the rock farm. Both stories will be written in time, I just don't know which one I want to go to next. I welcome opinions.
To be clear, this story was always intended to be a bridge into 'what's next.' I have a couple major stories planned for this universe, but can't get to them until I clear a few character-building things up first. So if this story feels different from my unusual, that may have something to do with it. My thanks to everyone who stuck it out, especially considering this was some 100,000 words longer than I ever intended it to be!
Onwards, to the next story.
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Bravo, bravo.
I always like to follow Pinkie's adventures so that gets my vote.
I gotta see where this goes. I'd throw my vote in for Pinkie and Fine's visit to see her family, personally, but I guess it depends on what your Muse feels like working on!
Great job on this one- I'm also throwing myself behind the Fine/Pinkie story first.
I'd thought that this excellent series had ended. Thankfully, I was wrong.
To a land Beyond the Everfree, where there are No Heros.
Pinkie/Fine sounds excellent to me.
On a side note, do you plan on Twilight ever becoming an Alicorn in this timeline?
7760445
No, Twilight will not become an alicorn in the No Heroes timeline of the overall AU. However, I do intend to bring the topic up in a future story.
Such an amazing story. There was just so much suspense, drama, action, and heartfelt moments. I can't do this story justice with my own descriptions. It simply made me feel for the characters so much. Pinkie's hesitation and restraint. Fine's guilt and hope. Nye's doubt and determination. Rainbow's insecurity and embarrassment. All these powerful emotions and feelings brought together to make a story that's truly breathtakingly incredible. Well done Paul, bravo 👏. Thank you for writing something so memorable. It's was a really enjoyable read.
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People are still reading this?
...
People are still reading this!
Many thanks for the compliments! Hopefully I’ll have Life of Pie done before we’re all old and grey. (Eh, who am I kidding? I’m already grey.)
9229456
Can't wait to read it :D
Aww... Fluttershy didn't even say no. Just ran. Not surprised, but how you wrote it is right on.
Hey good work, my last comment didn't post.
I probably didn't hit post or something.
I loved the thestral and combat.
Going into this story after the past few No Heroes stories was a bit of an unusual experience for me. I saw a few mentions of it in author's notes and comments so I knew the love triangle was going to be a big part of it, but aside from that I didn't have much in the way of expectations. We're not only beyond the Everfree but beyond the original main arc of No Heroes, beyond the machinations of Silma Ril and beyond the arcs of Luna's team coming into their own. This is whole new territory that we're going through, which makes it seem appropriate that it would be about an exploration of uncharted territory.
In some ways it feels like this story is a condensation and refinement of the concepts that were present in No Heroes Part 3 and Part 4. We get the exploration of a strange new place like when the team went to Nildia, but in this case it feels a little more extensive, and the worldbuilding here is a lot stronger. Nildia was interesting but it wasn't exactly an "unknown" like this, it didn't have quite the same sense of mystery, and most of the focus was put on the dream shenanigans and the conflict with Tazel. Then the last act of the story is a lot like the final crisis with Silma, much higher stakes with the threat of a world-ending horror. It's a little funny to me that I had suggested Part 4 needed to have fewer villains to narrow its focus and Rex is almost like a mix of all three villains from Part 4. He's ultra-powered like Silma, and his hijacking of Fine Crime mirrors her mind control, but his arrogant, bloodthirsty personality makes him a lot closer to Mane Archon, and narratively he presents a similar dilemma to Riptide with the unavoidable threat of mass death that he represents.
Something I like is that this party mostly consists of ponies who were left behind in Equestria during the trip to Nildia, so they get the chance to have a little more time in the spotlight. (Lightning Dust doesn't really need it since she already had all of Lightning's Bolt to herself. Poor Rarity, though, left out of the loop again.) None of them were really lacking in character development, but they didn't really get as much of a chance to be the center of attention or to get into the heat of the action. Nye and Fluttershy in particular have been emphasized to be the least effective in combat of their respective teams, so while they had a lot of good character moments they never quite got to be take charge of anything, so it was good to see both of them make their stands.
I was a little skeptical early on when the notion of Nye proposing to Rainbow Dash was put on the table. I could buy it, I was just perplexed that it was coming to the forefront in this of all stories. Then I remembered the love triangle stuff and it became apparent to me what this was really going to be about. I suppose one could say that this is primarily a shipping story but that seems a bit derivative to me. In truth, romance and love are a noticeable theme for the story as a whole. Fine Crime's unrequited love for Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie's distant admiration for him in turn. The relationship between Nye and Rainbow Dash coming to a head. Arguably, Fluttershy's budding affection for Discord. The thestrals' reverence for Luna. Even Rex's lingering love for Catrina. All of the characters are motivated by their desperation for love.
I know I had a lot of complaints about Riptide and the destruction he caused in Part 4, but I appreciate that the aftermath of all that is still readily present here and used for good drama. Even months later, that giant corpse doesn't just go away, nor does all of the devastation it brought about. The swathes of flattened trees and the huge scaly mountains left in the middle of areas that would have once been familiar are a reminder of all the lives that were lost, to Fine Crime in particular. The guilt of his actions weighs heavily on him in this story, threatening to drag him back to his darkness even as he's trying his damnedest to be accept the emotional vulnerability that comes with admitting his feelings for someone else, and this continues into Rex possessing him. I have to imagine, though, exactly what effect the body would have on a world that's having to rebuild--I could see there being a lot of new buildings that are made using infrastructure of purple scales and bones. I also have to wonder what it would have been like if the team had come all this way only to discover that all of the thestrals and the gargoyles had been flattened. That would've been a bummer, for both them and the reader.
The appearance of the thestrals was a huge surprise and seeing all the ways that they're developed, along with the Everfree in general, is really interesting. These are ponies who have been completely separated from the rest of the world for centuries and consequently have seen little societal development. They have remained locked in a state of hunting and gathering, and in a place such as the Everfree Forest (or Everfree Jungle?) it's necessary to place value upon strength. They even have a goddamn gladiatorial arena, holy shit--Fine Crime's battle with
NibblerFang was so great, getting to see him actually taken aback and having to think on his hooves to not get the tar beaten out of him. It's easy to see how they'd be mistrusting of outsiders, even more with the stigma of Celestia's ponies being the enemies of Luna.Unfortunately, though, the focus on thestral community and politics noticeably drops off after Fine and Fang's duel. Candid's coup/civil war attempt seemed like it would be a cool thing to focus on, this community tearing itself apart right when they were on the cusp of something great with their princess/goddess returning to them, but then it just gets resolved entirely offscreen. Granted, I suppose there wasn't much reason to show it, the main crew is all preoccupied and it's not their fight anyway, and I might not mind as much if it hadn't then become the trend for the rest of the story once Rex hijacks the plot. We don't get to see any of the struggle that comes with the resisting thestrals having to fight against their own to keep from being taken by Rex, nor do we see how they rescue and hide the children. They might as well have not even recruited Candid considering he doesn't ever show up again until after Rex is defeated. To say nothing of Fang's oft-mentioned father who is apparently supposed to be important but never has any on-screen appearances. By the end of the story, the thestrals are...there, but as a group they don't really matter that much anymore, they're barely even mentioned in the epilogue.
I have somewhat mixed feelings on Rex but mostly positive, I think he's a big improvement on the villains from Part 4. He gets across that proud manic energy of a character the reader is really supposed to hate, but he makes his presence known a lot more effectively than Silma Ril or Mane Archon did. The threat that he poses is a unique one, that of the advancing wall of doom. The protags have no hope of defeating him in a straight-up conflict so instead they have to wait out the clock until the cavalry can come in. He almost makes himself into Fine Crime's equivalent of Nightmare Moon, taking advantage of him when he's at his most emotionally vulnerable. I enjoyed the internal struggle of Fine having to do everything in his power to placate Rex from the inside.
The big reveal was a surprise; I know of Catrina but I haven't actually seen that movie, so I didn't know the name of her koopa boytoy offhand. We may not know exactly what Rex did to gain his current powers, but it really fits the bill of a put-upon lackey who now has all the power they want at their disposal and is taking out their frustration on the world. I'm guessing this Catrina didn't have a face turn though. I have to wonder how all of this fits into the cosmology of the pony world as described in Reddux the Tyrant.
Although, when Rex started to transform Fine Crime's body and grew out wings, I'm sorry to say my first thought was "Oh there's the missing Sephiroth wing."
The problem with Rex, though, is not necessarily what he is but in the way that he's integrated into the story. Rex is extremely effective in regard to continuing the drama of the love triangle subplot. He acts upon Fine Crime's darker impulses, imposing himself upon Fluttershy and making abusive demands on Pinkie Pie. This, however, comes at the cost of pushing just about everything else to the side.
Rex is, like the introduction of the thestrals, a shake-up, but where the thestrals were an evolution of the original premise of "Go into Everfree Forest, find cure for Discord," Rex is an abrupt detour. Rainbow Dash and Nye's subplot is over at this point, so Rainbow is effectively taken out of the plot for the rest of the story while Nye has to putter around without her. And the thestrals, continuing off of what I already said about how they shift out of focus, mostly just become cannon fodder. I don't mind too much that Irons and Evergreen abruptly die after not getting much development, it's fine to have some mauve shirts to jobber when you need to raise the stakes. Bright Eyes was a little more disappointing, he seemed like he would've been more worth keeping around. It's the innocent masses that get to me more, for much the same reason as the deaths caused by Riptide. Almost all of the focus here is put upon Fine Crime, as a continuation of the guilt he feels for allowing Riptide to go on a rampage, with very little left for the plight of the thestrals. There's something galling about the moment when Fine thinks that the thestrals ought to take the opportunity to attack Rex while he's monologuing and torturing Pinkie, because it highlights the fact that they really should have done exactly that. This would have been the perfect opportunity for Fang or Sera or even Candid to have a hero moment and take a stand with an inspiring battlecry before all of the thestrals dogpile Rex, cementing them as having shaken off his ability to intimidate them, just long enough to keep him occupied until Discord comes in.
Also did Polar Aim end up on the other side of the fire wall with Rainbow Dash? I thought the assisted launch thing was only supposed to be done for her, but then Polar was just absent for the rest of the Rex conflict too.
But it's almost hard to notice any of this with so much development being put into the connections between Fine Crime, Fluttershy, and especially Pinkie Pie. This happens right after the big emotional turning point with Fine trying to open up to Fluttershy and Pinkie having been getting ready to resign herself to being alone, only for all of that to come crashing down. With Fine taken over by Rex and Fluttershy imprisoned, this is the time for Pinkie to rise to the opportunity and take charge of the situation. Pinkie Pie really takes the spotlight here, we've already seen her dark depths, the frustration she puts herself through, and the misery she's mired in. She throws herself against Rex, even knowing that she doesn't stand a chance against him, just as she keeps pining after Fine Crime despite being certain that there's no way he'd fall for her like he did for Fluttershy.
You'd had a lot of warnings about Part 4 being the most fanfic-y of the series, but honestly this was the one that had me really wary going into it because love triangles can so easily devolve into frustration. I was glad, then, that it didn't fall into all those trappings, there was none of that painful back and forth between the two potential love interests. I think it helps that it's not really a matter of "Who will Fine choose?" as much as him crushing on someone while a third party is, incidentally, crushing on him. Both Fluttershy and Fine Crime spend a large part of the story not even being aware that there is someone who holds affection for them, and in the former's case the discovery of it is horrifying. I feel like, at least initially, neither Fine nor Pinkie exactly "loved" the object of their affections, it was more born out of a feeling of obligation toward someone who helped them, in both cases being a matter related to their Bloodmane condition. This gets stopped cold for Fluttershy when it becomes apparent that she and Fine Crime just aren't romantically compatible, but for Fine Crime and Pinkie Pie the door is still open, and they share a lot more in common with each other.
I don't know that this one ever reaches quite the same high points as Part 3 or even Part 4 of the saga, and it might be a little too long, but it's a pretty solid story through and through. It was new territory for this series in more ways than one, and we're getting a new direction for Fine Crime now that he's put the burdens of his past behind him. I was curious for Life of Pie before but now I'm all the more excited to get to it.
Also I know I teased commenting on Change, Inc. before, sorry I've been jumping around, I'll get back to that soon I promise.
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Before anything else, because I don't want to forget...
Yes, he did. This is clear when he talks to her after she's left the circle. I realize only now that I never expressly stated it, but he crossed with her for a variety of reasons, not least being that if she didn't make it he could try and deliver the message himself (or vice versa). He could also get with the thestrals trapped outside of the wall and deliver to them the current news. Maybe then travel to other tribes to spread the word. Point is, yes, he got outside, and that was the end of the story for him.
Great evaluation. As always, you bring up a number of things that I either didn't consider at all or chose to deal with. I'm quite happy with how this story came out considering I released it chapter-by-chapter instead of waiting until the whole thing was done, which is my MO now. Life of Pie also suffers from that, and more so I feel because of how long it took to finish.
Fun fact: I've never seen the movie featuring Catarina either. But I wanted the villain of Beyond the Everfree to be A) a callback to prior MLP generations but B) not an obvious callback. Rex/Rep felt like a nice middle ground in that regard. He's also not the only instance of a past generation's villain being used in one of my stories.
I'm looking forward to seeing what you think of Pinkie's and Fine's little 'vacation' together. It is by far the most slice-of-lifey of the NH stories. It's also the last story I wrote using the "release every chapter as soon as it's written" method. Hopefully that won't work too significantly against it.