• Member Since 7th Sep, 2015
  • offline last seen Jan 12th, 2017

Cyber Elite


My favorite pony/human is Sunset Shimmer, enough said...

T

Sunset Shimmer invites her friends for a sleepover, not just any normal sleepover but one where they all get together to play a game that Sunset will be picking out from her nearest Game store. The fun begins the moment Sunset inserts the disk.

Rated T for Teen due to the game rating and slight use of swearing.

My first fiction that I've wrote. Hope you guys enjoy it and please let me know what you think.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 9 )

Can a puppy play with the controller?

This was cute, I kinda want to hear about what decisions the girls would make later in the game and what how they feel about the ending.

Especially the part about Ajay's mother wanting to be reunited with his half-sister who Ajay's father killed.

Is there any chance you'll continue this series with other games?

Until Dawn would be an awesome sequel to this story. You did kind of hint at continuing this story with Phantom Pain. Just remember to put a spoiler warning for chapters with spoilers.

6498450 A puppy could play with it yes, but using the controller is very unlikely if that's what you meant. :twilightsheepish:

6498483 Not an ordinary puppy.

I will be frank: this is bad. There is no story here, just Sunset Shimmer and the Human!Mane five playing and discussing a game you like. Having never played Farcry 4, I found this hideously boring. Had I played the game, I would still have found it hideously boring. We have let's play video's for this kind of thing.

If you really feel you must have mlp characters interact with a video game, it has to be as part of a story: a multi player contest between Applejack and Rainbow Dash, for instance. And it must be characters that make sense; of the characters here only Rainbow, Applejack and maybe Pinkie would be interested. The others would be doing something else.

6498495 I see what you mean however I figured it would be best to make this based off the singleplayer campaign since the game is built around that the most. I can totally understand that you did not find this entertaining since you haven't played the game but I thought it would be fun and interesting to show the characters impressions and opinions on certain situations of the game especially for those who have played this game.

I will consider getting the Main 5 and Sunny to play cooperatively, perhaps if not I can get them to do a certain bet just to make the next story more interesting. Thanks for your advice.

6498481 I'm very glad you enjoyed it!

I'll consider continuing this series with others games like Phantom Pain, unfortunately I haven't played Until Dawn before but I'll be sure to check it out and have a think about it, sorry to disappoint you. :twilightsheepish:

Also there is a rule against writing stories on this site using the same storylines of movies, games and books with the exact same used dialogue, scenes and such. I'll see what I can do about that and hopefully get the characters to discuss about the story.

6498522

Thank you for your courteous response; that will certainly serve you well here on FIMfiction :twilightsmile:

The problem isn't the single player campaign, nor is it that I've never played the game; as I pointed out, I wouldn't have been entertained even if I had. The problem is the lack of any sort of story: there is no conflict, there is no plot, there is no meaningful characterisation. I suggested multi player because then there would at least be conflict between characters; something to build a story around.

I can see what you wanted to do, you wanted to show their reactions to the game, but it needed an actual story built around it. I recommend you read this. One of the chapters is not dissimilar to what you want to do. But it exists as part of a larger whole, and is used as a means of enriching the main fic. Your own effort feels far more vacuous in the absence of such context. I'll repeat: make it part of a story, not I thing onto itself.

6498547

That's a shame, I really wanted to see what kind of in-game choices the girls would make.

If you can't play Until Dawn in the near future, how about just checking out a Let's Play? I'd recommend Two Best Friends and Markiplier, both were very fun for me.

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