After moving from Crystal Prep, Twilight Sparkle has found herself in an uncomfortable predicament. Her classmate has developed a strange obsession with her. What started out as a guy with a crush has now become a total nightmares. Twilight has had just about enough of Flash Sentry overstepping boundaries. He has crossed the line. The time has come for her to take matters into her own hands.
Characters aged up for obvious reasons.
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Everybody hates Flash. But just to clear it up, Flash thinks scitwi is twilight?
Poor Sentry. Must be devastating having his heart shattered to bits.
Sorry, that was mean. But I could not resist!
6503557 Yes. Exactly. He can't tell them apart. He thinks he is talking to the Twilight he danced with at The Fall Formal, but really he's talking to the other Twilight Sparkle. I should have made that more clear.
6503582 wow flash is an idiot. Don't worry it was clear enough. Just wanted to confirm.
The scary part about this is it can happen in real life but other than that it gave me a real horse laugh.. Pun intended...
And Twilight Sparkle takes interest in girls.
You know, comedy is typically expected to be actually funny in some way.
Oh, Flash, you went from kind of useless to totally useless in just three movies!
I will say this in his defense: if any good came from him, it's that now I ship him with Sonata Dusk.
Flash's mistake is that he never showed her he could play guitar with no hands:
Maybe the problem is that he's too old.
6506940 Hahahaha :) Well I feel stupid now. Thank you for pointing that out.
6506987 But I thought that was a joke... I lol at it.
I can't believe that Flash doesn't realize that the Twilight he is getting a restraining order from is not the Twilight he asked to the Fall Formal.
Decent idea, but the punchline felt a little weak.
6511025 I have lots of ideas that would make good stories, but I'm not too good with the execution of it. :/ I wonder if I could have done something to make it funnier.
6513435
I don't claim to be an expert, but I think the problem here is that we empathize with Flash too much. Makes it more sad than funny.
The set-up feels like it would be best for a wacky-hijinks type of story, maybe even some crack comedy. But by keeping it firmly rooted in Slice of Live territory, it's prevented from ever really taking off.
6514074 I tried to change it a little bit to try to make it a little more over the top plus I made the ending seem less rushed. Hopefully it will be better now. I'm afraid if I make Flash too perverted, it will seem out of character.
Honestly this feels less like a comendy and more like a goffier and less gory version of Scilence of the Lambs with Twilight being the movie Clarice Starling and Flashinb being the more goffy version of Hanible in this relationship. Actually, I feel like both Twilight dodge a bullet with how obsessive he is over a girl he barely knows. Yeah, get that out of your head.
Maybe you should have gone all the way with the creepy vibe. It would make a intersting story and something both Twilights have to deal with as pony Twilight learn that its not always a good thing for someone to be so obsesse with you and the other a fear terror since she can't go to another world to escape.
This is HILARIOUS. Upvote and a fave!
Twilight could really mess with Flash by sitting at the desk closest to the classroom door