Huh. Turns out that when you get past the aspect of upcoming pain, falling off a city that's several miles up is actually pretty fun. It's like skydiving without a parachute. I know under normal circumstances that doesn't sound appealing in the least, but in this instance, I didn't have much of a choice.
So, I was falling. Again. Rather fast, at that. I guess history really does repeat itself. I wasn't exceptionally scared considering I didn't die last time, but I sure as hell wasn't looking forward to the pain that was sure to result from it. So I decided on one main goal: Stop myself from falling.
I quickly started snapping my fingers, trying to will some sort of forcefield or something into existence that would slow me down, but no dice.
"Come on, damn it!" The ground was approaching fast. I needed something, even a slight decrease in momentum would be welcome.
More finger snapping, more concentration. Come on. Eventually, to my immediate relief, I started to see some yellow streaks forming under me.
"Yes! I don't know what that is, but it's something!" I focused all my concentration on fully forming whatever this was in hopes that it would stop me.
Oh jeez, the ground is approaching really fast. I think I have about five seconds at this point.
"Something happen already! Please, goddammit!" Still nothing. I shut my eyes and pushed one final time...
I stopped. Dead. Not in the literal sense, I just stopped. I slowly opened my eyes to see I was mere inches from the ground, the grass just slightly tickling my nose. Even my glasses were just barely hanging on to my face. Jesus, that was close. However, a bigger point of interest was probably the translucent disc of yellow under me.
Unfortunately, as soon as I noticed this, I lost all concentration and it vanished, dropping me right on my face.
I scrambled to my feet and looked back up at Canterlot. It took me a second to fully process everything that had just happened, but I soon got my bearings.
"Ha-HAH!" I shouted, dancing around like an idiot while pointing at the city. "Take that, you royal fuckwads! How ya like me now, huh?!"
~~ Canterlot Castle dungeons, a few minutes earlier ~~
Princess Celestia had heard many stories from humans before. Simple messages, peace offerings, or being exiled, almost all of these humans' reasons for being in Equestria had turned out to be complete lies, their real motive almost always involving theft of some kind. But this human's story was far more unbelievable than the rest. It's almost as if he wasn't even trying to think of something convincing.
Honestly, Celestia had no idea how anyone could possibly convince her they fell out of the sky for no reason. That's not something that's been heard to happen outside of teleportation accidents, and humans never demonstrated the ability to teleport. Until now, that is.
"I mean, come on, my cell doesn't even have a window!" And as he pointed to the wall, George was gone, much to Celestia's surprise. However, she quickly reassured herself. He couldn't have just disappeared, could he?
"George, please disenchant yourself. I will not have you hiding under an invisibility spell." Not getting any form of response, she decided to do it herself. But when she released the disenchantment spell from her horn, to her surprise, nothing happened. And that's when it hit her.
He teleported away. But how? Humans couldn't teleport, could they? Immense study of their magic had gone on for years after the attack, and sure, a select few humans were shown to wield some magic ability, but their power always extended to nothing more than basic elemental magic. A human using teleportation was unheard of.
However, she didn't have the time to consider this. The human could be anywhere at this point. He needed to be found. Celestia ran out of the cell and ordered the guards to form a search party. They obeyed without hesitation, probably because of one too many bad puns from George.
It took some time, but one of the guards eventually returned to Celestia.
"Your Highness! We spotted the human on one of the castle's outer walls!" The guard looked somewhat uneasy.
"Thank you. Were you all able to capture him?"
"N-Not exactly, Princess. You see, he started taunting us, so we started throwing spears in his general direction in an attempt to scare him down, but he..."
"He what?" Celestia began to feel a bit uneasy herself.
"He fell off."
"...Which side?"
"The outer side. He fell off of Canterlot entirely."
This was an immediate shock to Celestia. She almost felt a slight pang of guiltiness, but she quelled it for a moment as what George had said came back to her. If he truly did fall out of the sky, then perhaps he had intended to fall off Canterlot in the first place.
"Continue the search. I will be in my room."
"...With all due respect, Princess-"
"Please, just do it. I need to find out how much it's going to cost to repair that street."
- Back on the ground, a few minutes later -
After finishing up my little celebration, I soon realized that I had no idea where to go from where I was. Since humans didn't exactly seem to be welcomed in this society, I needed to figure out what I was going to do from here on out. I could gone into hiding, but I really don't want to be alone and on the run for the rest of my life. Not an ideal lifestyle. But at the same time, I couldn't exactly waltz into the nearest town and go "Watch the heck out, everyone, I'm a human!". This was going to be a tough one.
My pondering, however, was cut short by the appearance of a blue pegasus, zooming into my vision in seemingly a fraction of a second.
"Hey!" she said, clearly agitated over something. Gee, I wonder what. "What're you doing here?! Humans aren't allowed in Equestria!"
I took a moment to look around, wondering where she came from.
"Uh, yeah, I gathered that much." I admired her rainbow-colored mane. That has to be dyed. "A bit too late to figure that, though, me already being here and such."
She began hovering in front of me, her forelegs crossed. "Yeah, don't try to mess with me. I saw you fall off Canterlot. What were you doing up there?"
I crossed my arms in a similar fashion. "Amnesia. I've got that. So, nothing to say on that subject."
"Yeah, right. Sure." She set herself down on the ground again, and started advancing on me. "Listen, buster. If you start heading right on back to wherever your kingdom is, I won't go telling Celestia you're here. But if I see you around here again, then you're gonna have to answer to both me and her. Got it?"
I considered these words. Okay, not a bad offer. Problem is, I've got no idea where this kingdom she mentioned is. And she doesn't seem to know either. This means that there's no way I can start on my way there. How the hell am I going to resolve this situation?
Wait, I have an idea. It's a bit rash, but it should work.
"That's a fair deal, Miss Rainbow-hair. Unfortunately, I can't be taking you up on that offer right now."
"Seriously? Well, looks like we're doing this the hard way!"
Without warning, she jumped at me in some sort of attempt at a tackle. I stepped off to the side, but was momentarily stunned as her hoof collided with my head, knocking us both to the ground. Alright, time to execute my idea. The both of us standing ourselves upright again, I started trying to bring up some kind of spell that would put her to sleep for long enough for me to escape. I imagined the idea of her falling asleep, and tried to muster some willpower to bring that thought to reality.
I pointed to her dramatically. "Sorry, rainbow-hair, but it's nap time for you!"
She took a step back. "What?! Hey, don't try anything, bucko!"
I moved my outstretched fingers into finger-snapping form. "Hasta-la-vista!"
I snapped my fingers and instantly fell unconscious.
Rainbow, don't you dare be doing this to this fine gentlemen here.
I like the premise, and the main character is certainly amusing, but I see two problems so far: You really didn't sell me on that whole "fear of heights" thing. Like, not at all. You would have been better off not mentioning it.
The second is Celestia. He gave her a very concrete piece of evidence (hue) to prove his story of how he got there. Not to mention that by the time he got to the castle, you'd think a pegasus would have already been by to mention the human that just slammed into the city streets and shrugged it off. or one that saw him falling. Or she could have sent a guard to check. Even now, when she thinks he's dead, she's still not making any move to check on that. Even if she believes that he's lying, making assumptions about a known enemy is never a good move.
What. The hell. Did the humans. Actually. Do?
6766511 For gods sake just wait.
I have a feeling that the ponies just freaked out because humans eat meat, an now they think they are evil incarnate.
6804880
NEVER WE WILL CONTINUE TO SPECULATE WHAT HORRIBLE THING HUMANS DID BESIDES TRY TO TAKE OVER cause you know, we do that to everybody
Hue.
7560968 "Your mouse courser was on the wrong target."
WHY U DID NOT SEE COURSOR?
I love it already! Make it 700 likes!!!
That my friends, is why you always give your spells a target.
So... to Celestia humans are just evil magic people that just ahoe up to do evil? That is increadibly dissapointing, and rather stupid. Most of them so far seem rather stupid, to be honest.
8592613
Not quite. It's just that Celestia, in this instance, has had several bad experiences with humans showing up in Equestria in the past, and that, combined with George's lack of a good explanation for being there, causes her to err on the side of caution. That and also the accidental fireball that barely missed her.
Dont move. Im not afraid to knock myself out