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Mischief's Big Break

Mischief is a beginner DJ out of Ponyville, and he is getting his first venue in Fillydelphia! In Ponyville he has played many times at Sugarcube Corner, but never something this big. And, he meets someone a lot more important there!

Chapters (3)

Sometimes dreams do come true · 5th Jun 2012 · 1,317 words
1,317
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Breakfast with Vinyl · 6th Jun 2012 · 721 words
721
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The First Show · 6th Jun 2012 · 520 words
520
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Comments ( 6 )

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FireFlash13231

FireFlash13231 #1 · Jun 6th, 2012 · · · The First Show ·

yay another scratchfic!

xanshriekal

xanshriekal #2 · Jun 6th, 2012 · · · Sometimes dreams do come true ·

It's got the potential for a good plot and we might have a good character here, but it needs to be expanded. Make the scene longer so we get some characterization. And make sure you put paragraph breaks in, and then ponies will be like and not like

Masterofnone169

Masterofnone169 #3 · Jun 6th, 2012 · · · The First Show ·

This is awesome. I love vinyl and I love electronic music.
But it might be a good idea to divided some of the story into paragraphs making it easier to read. I kept getting lost at certain places because words were backed together making me feel

Ghost Cobbraaa

Ghost Cobbraaa #4 · Jun 6th, 2012 · · · The First Show ·

befor I read anything is it a mistag that this is not tagged 'romance'?

>And, he meets someone a lot more important there!
wich implies romance.

EvilEnchantress

EvilEnchantress #5 · Jun 6th, 2012 · · · The First Show ·

I love my auto correct mind only problem is when I have to correct stuff huzzah OHMYGOSH PARTAY no I dont like parties wouldn't be able to stand the crowd thats what sitting in a dark corner is for especially at raves and all that stuff (I think rave is the right word)

Josdog7