I’ve had this dream before. She thought to herself. Screams raced in the shadows of the woods outside of her orange beam of light. She was running after something, something she had lost. It needed to be found before it was too late. Where was it? Her voice screamed a name she could not hear. Something called to her. Someone touched her. She turned around, protesting.
The room was hazy grey. Exhaustion closed her eyes again and she took a long, deep breath to calm her racing heart. She had dreamed that nightmare before. But when? In the dream, she was human. She had no dreams of being human when she was in Equestria. What time was it? Was it the same day?
She clumsily untangled herself from the covers and rose to walk to the window. A cloud was crossing in front of the sun and the city was still awake. Either she had not slept that long or had slept too long. Going back to her bed, she felt the pillow, still damp with tears.
Someone knocked on her door and Sarah entered after half a pause.
“Hello, how are you feeling?” she asked, holding her arms out to give Celestia a hug.
“Fine.” Celestia said, making no movement except to give Sarah a confused stare. Sarah lowered her arms, blushing slightly.
“Sorry it’s taken me awhile. I hope you weren’t bored.”
“No, I just woke up,” she said as her shadow suddenly traced her elongated outline on the floor in front of her feet. Soon another cloud would block the sunlight again and the shadow would fade into the floor. She crossed her arms in front of herself and felt something in her pocket. She had written another note? But why hadn’t she woken up at the desk?
“Do you need anything? I heard you got sick.” Sarah took a step towards Celestia and she resisted stepping back. Doing so would warn Sarah that she was hiding something.
“I’m still a little tired honestly,” she said, faking a casual laugh.
“Well, I’m afraid I can’t give you coffee or tea with your medication.”
“It’s ok.”
“Try to stay awake though.” Oh good, she was leaving.
“I will.” Celestia’s voice was beginning to strain.
“Good.” Sarah began to make the bed.
“You don’t have to do that. It’s fine.”
“No, it’s fine. Oh, good! You got your baseball.” Celestia stepped back when Sarah tossed it to her. She probably should have tried to catch it.
“Are you sure you’re feeling alright?”Sarah asked, glancing at Celestia’s crossed arms.
“I am a little tired. I guess I’m somewhat grumpy too,” Celestia tried to hint subtly.
“Well, that takes care of it,” Sarah said, giving one last tuck to the immaculate bed. Anyone related to Discord would never make something so tidy from what was a complete mess.
“And you’re sure you don’t need anything?”
“I’m sure. Thanks.”
Sarah hesitated, something seemed to itch inside of her. She wanted something but was scared to ask for it. Her hands played with each other as she took a step backwards.
“Well—”
A thud sounded from farther within the hospital. Had something fallen? The outside hallway doors made no noise in her room. The second thud came even louder, closer.
“What’s going on?” Celestia asked Sarah, whose face had turned back to watch the door.
“It sounds like a patient. Hide in the bathroom. I need to see if they need help.”
Celestia obeyed the strange order. She squatted behind the counter where the mirrorless sink sat. The wall of the shower had her back while she peeked over the white countertop as Sarah opened the door. A shard of ice plunged through Celestia’s core. Did Sarah not feel it? Couldn’t she feel something wasn’t right? The muffled silence pressed on Celestia’s ears.
Sarah stepped out. The door closed, but the silence stayed there with the coldness. Something had been let into her room. She ducked behind the counter completely, hugging herself tightly, hoping to melt the ice taking over her chest. It was approaching, swishing, crawling towards her. Normally she would stand and charge whatever it was when it seemed best. But, now she was human.
The sterile walls greyed around her. It knew she was here. It was coming for her. It wanted her. It wanted to kill. Fear. Celestia was afraid. It was coming for her. Her body shivered with cold sweat. Her breath sounded loud. Her heart sounded loud. The beating of it closed her throat and deafened her to the approach of this thing coming for her.
“I know where you are,” a dark voice laughed. If Celestia was an alicorn she could face him. But, not now. He knew that full well. “Stand up. I want to see you now.”
Her body was locked. She closed her eyes and forced her sobs to hide themselves.
“I said stand up!”
He would hurt her. He wanted so badly to kill her. She could feel it. Was he truly as powerful as before?
The room darkened as something blocked the doorway. Celestia took a determined breath and cautiously peeked around the corner of the counter. A black cloud had sealed off the doorway. Smoke tendrils slithered onto the smooth tiles and slowly looked around for the prey they sought.
Yes, he was still as powerful as before. How had he found her? How had he come here?
“I’m waiting.”
Celestia rose to her feet and stared directly into the cloud.
“How did you get here?”
“I was brought here. As you were.”
“What do you know?”
“I know your darkest fears.” A tan hand curled around the doorframe, soon followed by another. “I know who you are. I know what drives you and what stops you. I know your deepest secret.” A bare foot stepped into the small bathroom. Celestia backed up against the shower as much as she could. Above her eye level, a tan face appeared from the smoke.
“Don’t do this.”
“Oh, you’re begging me now? That is wise—”
“I’m not begging you!” The smoke disappeared, revealing the full figure of Sombra, dressed as a patient. His grin twisted up his cheek. He had been clean-shaven and his hair cut short.
“Oh, but you are. You’re scared without your power.”
“I’m still Princess.”
“You can be more.” He held out his hand, riddled with bruises and scars, towards her.
“Where did those come from?”
“The scars are from you. You know that.”
“I meant the bruises.” She couldn’t help but gawk at the purple to yellow discolorations patching his skin on his arms and hands.
“They’re my own affair. They do not hurt at all. My power keeps the pain away.”
“Why are you still here then, if you’re so powerful?”
“I stayed for you,” he cooed, the same sinister smile on his face. Celestia gagged.
“Don’t even try to pretend—“
“You don’t have to stay here. I can get you out.”
“You can’t even get yourself out.”
“But we can get each other out.” Celestia looked at the hand he offered to her. “You know what to do. I offer you everything you ever wanted.”
“Get out.”
“Yes... good. Let it control you.”
Celestia had clenched her hands tightly, wanting to charge him. Hatred. Fear. Her hands released. Control. She needed to control herself. Sombra’s grin was less certain. He still held his hand out towards her.
“Do you understand what I can give you?”
“I know what you can take away.”
“I told you, I wasn’t going to use the ball as a bargaining chip,” said another voice behind Sombra.
“What’s Sombra doing here?” she demanded of Discord.
“What?” Discord asked. He entered the bathroom and Sombra disappeared in wisps of smoke. He was genuinely confused. Celestia took a calming breath.
“Sombra was here a moment ago. You just walked right through him.” He turned to look behind at nothing, then back to Celestia with confusion and concern.
“Somber?”
“Som-brah. He was there a second ago.”
“Celeste, there is nothing there.”
“I saw him. I felt him here. He wanted to control me.”
“What did he say?”
Silence stood between them.
“If he really wasn’t there, why would it matter what he said to me?”
“I was asking out of curiosity.”
“Well, out of curiousity, what was that noise in the hallway?”
“A while ago? Another patient attacked Nurse Alice. I had to intervene.”
“What are you doing here?”
“ Sarah told me you seemed distracted. Are you alright?”
“I’m fine! Why do you keep insisting that I’m not?”
He gazed at her reproachfully. She looked away. Of course. She was supposed to be crazy. He wasn’t going to let her know otherwise.
“I think your medication might be causing this. I’ll see about readjusting it,” he said before turning from the bathroom to leave. The door slammed behind him. Celestia rubbed her pounding forehead and remembered the note in her pocket:
Dear Sister,
I only hope this note will get to you. I have a feeling someone is intercepting your mail but perhaps I just want to believe that. I love you and I wish I could go with Twilight to find you but I trust she will bring you back to your crown. If Discord gets back alive, I promise you I will do all I can to prevent him from ever doing his tricks again.
Your Sister,
Luna
Celestia’s eyes closed as she folded the note again. If only Luna knew what she was dealing with... She slid the note in her pillowcase and flopped down onto the bed; taking up the ball and rolling it from one hand to the other.
Sombra was here. Celestia could understand if Discord had brought him as another helper, but not another patient. He was really here, right?
The ball stopped. Could she have been afraid just because she thought he might be coming? The rolling resumed. No. He had definitely been there. Was he perhaps separate from Discord’s plan? Or was Discord trying to confuse her even more by convincing her that Sombra wasn’t involved? Of course, it wasn’t like Discord to team up.
The ball slipped out of the palm of her hand and tumbled to the floor. The creak of the mattress barely concealed a small clattering under her bed. Celestia tried to peek through the crack between her bed and the wall but couldn’t see anything. Leaving her bed entirely, she crouched on her hands and knees to retrieve the ball and peek under the metal frame.
It rolled from her hand as she peeked into the shadows under her bed. The space underneath was large enough for a filly to duck under. Celestia wriggled herself into the dusty space and her fingers wrapped around the object that had clattered. Crawling back out she coughed into her elbow and stared at what she held. The light from outside illuminated the dull blue plastic pen in her hand. She scribbled on her other hand, covering her palm in dark blue streaks. All of her letters were in blue ink. Was the handwriting the same?
Celestia took Luna’s note out and unfolded it before her. On her arm she wrote out “I am Princess Celestia” and compared the identical scripts. No. It was impossible. She had no paper to write on.
Why had Sarah insisted on making her bed?
Celestia looked where the mattress rested on a metal sheet with bars under it. She placed her hands on the edge of the mattress and pushed it up from the metal. It was all here. A pile of blank paper, like the kind used for drawing. How she had gotten it here made no sense.
No, she could not have been the one to put it here. Discord put it here to convince her that she was writing these notes herself. She angrily pulled all the paper from its hiding place, scattering the sheets like feathers as she flung them behind her. As soon as the bed was clear, she picked up the blank sheets and ripped a handful of them in half. She was not the one writing these notes to herself! This was a trick!
The door opened unexpectedly as Nurse Alice entered.
“I’ve had a long day so can we please just get this...” She gaped at the torn paper, taking her eyes from the case that held her evening dose of medicine.
“I didn’t do it,” Celestia hastily said.
“D...Uh...Hey!” Within a blur of minutes, Discord was standing in the room, staring at the mess.
“I didn’t do it.” Celestia repeated. He knelt in front of her, gently taking her left hand in his and turning her arm so he could read the words written there. Each stroke of ink burned under his dark brown study. He kept his lips a firm straight line.
The writing of the notes was exact to the writing on her arm. Discord didn’t leave the papers there. She had the chance to write these letters. She had the pen. She had every reason in the world to... write to herself.
The notes weren’t real.
She looked into his face as tears moistened her eyelashes. Dr. Cruebel. His name was Dr. Cruebel. His concerned eyes turned up from her arm to look at her. Dr. John Cruebel. If she thought his name enough times when looking at him it began to fit his face.
“I didn’t know I was writing them.” He nodded, waiting. “I’m sorry. I didn’t know I was... I’m so sorry.”
His lips pressed together as he swallowed. His eyes fixed on her hopefully.
“What is your name?” he asked.
She didn’t want to answer.
So re-doing the story I see...
I thought it was fine before but it's your decision.
So how much do I have to re read?
It's probably foolish to hope for an ending that is less absolutely depressing and abrupt, but then I've always been a fool, so I guess I'll reread this.
2305342 Well...at this point, the fleeing scene will have some major changes. A character will also be taken out from the original version. However, some events I want to stay the same. So maybe...20-30% of the material will be the same for you but it will be mixed in with some significant changes. Now that I've worked out for myself from the beginning what is real and what is the layer you guys will not see until "Notes", there are some changes I need to put in for the stories to have cohesion.
2306836 I still don't think the story needed any kind of changes, to start with. It was great the way it was.
But... it is your decision. Any chance we could get the original as a separate story?
2307033 I have the original as a google doc if you'd like me to PM it to you.
2307033 Actually, scratch that. I'll post it in the story info here.
And I only picked up on the re-writing now, of all times...
What encouraged you to do this again? I'm intrigued by this sudden development in the re-fabricated plot.
2313347 When I finished this the first time, I was not happy with it. The very ending I liked but everything leading up and how I rushed it bothered me so much. I guess you can say it's haunted me since the day I began to write it.
The thing is that I've always wanted to go back and revise this. This story was disunited and the ending kept changing throughout the process of writing. I've solidified what the truth actually is now and I know what actually happens from the beginning. I guess I'm still trying to come to peace with this story (hope that doesn't sound too crazy. lol).
2314176
I see. If you're re-writing this, what's False Memory, then?
2314194 False Memory is the beginning of a completely disconnected trilogy. The basic concept is the same, but the circumstances surrounding everything happening are completely different.
It did start out as the revision, but I changed it to the point it wasn't the same story. Technically, neither is this one anymore... but maybe this time I'll finally be able to put it down and stop kicking myself over it.
2314210
In which case, I wish you luck.
2314219 Thank you
An excellent story, and I eagerly await more!
Well, having read all of this in one go, I can say with certainty that you have my attention, and that this is one of the few times I like Humanized done in this particular manner. Heck, this is probably the one time this concept of insanity has reached my story-consuming eyes in relation to fimfiction.
That being said, I shall be watching like a hawk, since the concept, correct writing, and decent flow makes it an easy and entertaining read. I dare say it might help with the inspiration of a story I had the intention to do, and if it bears fruit, I shall be sure to mark your work as both a piece to read, and as a fraction of inspiration for the work, as I stated above.
TL;DR: Great story, I might make a note of it in a future work this might have just inspired.
2316295 Awesome :) Thank you so much!
2317487
No problem, though I have to ask; are you against my using of the first name Celeste in any way? I won't say that this is a copy of your own work, but, ironically, I have been toying with the idea of either Celestia, Luna, or Shining Armor being the main character of this fic, and, well, even if the focus might shift around a bit at times, Celestia would be one of the big three, and I would hate to seem like a thief by using anything of your own design.
2318820 I do not have a problem at all with you using that name but I would advise against it because your readers might object. Wish you best of luck! I was considering another kinda similar concept of this applied to Shining Armor too.
2318879 Very well. I'll take it into consideration; maybe toy with the name a bit and see what I can do. Good luck with your own works as well.
2318931 Thank you
2319035 Jesus Christ, I wrote my insane asylum story. Your's is just pure brilliance and psychologically disturbing. It makes me wonder if you were in one.