Midnight Blaze has awoken in a plain of wheat, not knowing what has happened with his most recent time travel spell. Ponyville seems to be the same, except for one little detail. Everyone in his life seems to have forgotten him, and instead know a stallion named Techorse as their friend.
This is a crossover story and collaboration between Wolven5, Midnight Blaze's owner, and myself. That being said, if you haven't read either of our series, it may be hard to understand this one.
Wolven5's page: Click Here
Cover art by Veestormcourage.
Chapters (1)
Im fine with techhorse (even if the name is a bit odd. Isnt that like naming a person internetape? Anyways) but Im not ok with Blue and black (admittedly better than red and black) alicorn OC who has the power of time travel.
Im in general very against alicorn OCs because even if you make them very normal and down to earth its like making a Greek God OC and making him very down to earth and normal. Either way your making that universes equivalent to in essence a god with the traits they so far inbody in canon being the celestial sisters (sun/moon), love, and magic. To further strenghten the Alicorn to Greek God comparison every one of those traits is inbodied by a Greek God aside from magic (I think). Sorry I just get especially bitter around them for that exact reason. Especially when people make them have powers or defend them to an extreme extent.
This isnt even relevent to the stories plot or overall quality I just got grumpy when I saw the alicorn OC with time travel especially from someone who definitely seems to be atleast a decent writer.
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While I did enjoy this story, I think the problem is why I enjoyed it. Basically, it comes down to the fact I've read both Techorse and The Story Retold. It makes it much easier to understand why both Techorse and Blaze act a certain way.
Thinking about it a bit, the story works well if someone has read either Techorse or The Story Retold, but not both. I'd figure more of your readers fall in to that first category. It gives a sense of mystery about either "unknown" character and makes you want to learn more. Probably a good way to get readers to check out the opposite story.
Lastly, you have the fourth category. You've read neither and you stumbled on this story by accident. I have no idea who any of these characters are or what the hay is going on here. Without the backstory of at least one of the two main characters, this story really doesn't work. Maybe put a better warning about this other than that this is a colab project.
Anyway, that's my two bits. Thanks!
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Good feedback! I added a little bit more of a disclaimer to the description.
I had actually only read wolfen's The Story Retold (I'm actually still reading it), so I went into this story not knowing at all who Techorse was and I was impressed how little lost I actually was when reading it, I blame my innate thirst for cross dimensional stories and having read so many, just got used to it.
But this is a good story and I'll definitely be checking other Techorse stories out now, because this one got me insanely curious for more.
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Hey thanks, glad you liked it!
good fic. I've only read one other techhorse fic though and i do mean to read the others. I just really haven't had the time (working on a fic of my own featuring the main changeling version of my OC being one of the reasons)
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Thanks for the read! I understand if you're busy.
This was well written and I have to say that it's an interesting idea, but I would love to see more of this continued, whether it's a separate story or continued here. Either way I still liked it.
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There's going to be a follow up to this, making a blog post soon.
Can you notify me when you are finished the other story you and wolven5 are working on?
8063995 Sure thing! The first chapter's up, might be a while for the other.
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So what's the name of your story?
8068349 Here, I'll link you to it:
A Friendship Built to Last
Thank you
urm hi
This is a good story but I've been following up with Wolven's mlp: The story retold universe. So mind you this is just a small citicism on this story so yeah.
QUESTION: how come or why didn't Midnight talk to one of his stallion friends in Techorse's Universe?!!!
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When I was writing this as a gift for Wolven, I sort of wanted to "cut to the chase" and have Midnight figure out where he was on his own. With the number of friends he has though, I can see your point though. Good comment!
Thank you
This is just a small nick-picks of what kinda puts me into this 'What? How / why didn't 'he' do this and that' sort of outcome.
Like I said before, I am just establishing my opinion here. No hate/rant.