[Hive of Chrysalis]
Chrysalis was a busy queen these days. Ever since…the fugitive…her life had been turned upside-down, and while she should probably be outraged at the sudden shift, she couldn’t even muster up mild irritation; how could she when things were going so well? Things had never been all that great for the Changeling race until recently, but now it was all looking up for her and her lings. Her musings during the inspection trip to the nursery were interrupted by the arrival of a Drone Messenger.
‘My Queen, I have news,’ he projected towards her, while adopting a subservient posture.
Queen Chrysalis smiled at the drone. “By all means Chittering Echo, make your report.”
The drone seemed to blush at being reminded he had a name now. ‘Of course, Your Majesty. A rather upset and confused goat is at the gates seeking asylum and demanding a “cure” if the reports are accurate.’ Chittering Echo waited for a prompt to continue and did so with a nod of the Queen’s head. ‘It claims that quote, “Now when I try to raise a dead slave, instead of a mindless thrall, I seem to actually resurrect the fool, soul and all; then they ignore my orders and leave happy at being alive again! This is causing uncomfortable and conflicting feelings and I don’t like it!” end quote.’
Chrysalis sighed, “That old goat is still around? Very well, show him to the visitor’s tunnels and give him a room. He’ll need a place to stay while he comes to term with his new…life. If he wants to stay after thirty days, he will have to apply for a visa; we are a sovereign nation now after all.” She dismissed the drone when he had no other news for her and continued on her way. Just being able to say that they were now a nation without spite or jealousy was a strange experience for the Changeling Queen. Grogar’s dilemma reminded her of her own experiences, and she thought back to when everything changed.
[Six Months Ago]
Queen Chrysalis walked the tunnels of her hive with a stride that exuded both menace and grace. She stole a quick glance at her guest, wondering what it was and why she was being forced to entertain it. The large biped walked alongside the changeling without fear and gave off the air of one taking a leisurely stroll in the gardens of Neighpon for all its lack of tension. Its voluminous robes concealed almost the entire form; only the occasional hand gesture appeared to reassure one that there was indeed something warm and living inside. It was speaking to Chrysalis, not in fear or anger but in genuine respect as an equal; instead of groveling before her hooves in reverence like she desired.
“I’m quite grateful you were willing to offer me sanctuary. I’m a wanted man in Equestria after…certain plans of mine were enacted.” It seemed to become shy for a moment and began tapping its two pale index fingers against one another sheepishly. “Discord is more than a little…disappointed with me I fear.” It shrugged its shoulders in a helpless gesture. “I believe he’s angry that I plotted against him and forced the draconequus to experience life-affirming chaos. He now enjoys the looks of happy shock caused by his shenanigans and blames me for ‘fuzzy feelings’.” The dark beast cleared his throat with a fist held in front of the dark cowl, as if expelling his embarrassment. “So, once again I thank you for sheltering me in my time of need. I figure us villainous types should stick together; you know, solidarity in the face of oppression and all that,” the creature said casually.
The Queen snorted in derision. “I hardly had any choice in the matter; the soldiers I sent out to drive you away were unable to move you even an inch and were quickly overpowered into unconsciousness. You made your point when you flexed your power upon my children.” The gall of this fool still burned in her core. For one, it resisted all endeavors to read its emotional state. Any attempts just, slid off; like trying to pour water through glass. Secondly, changeling magical bolts were just absorbed into its robe with the dark being showing no wear or worry, and then physical attacks failed because her soldiers fell over insensate when they were grappled. It gnawed at the edges of Chrysalis’s mind and fouled her mood.
The robed thing cocked its head at her. “My ‘power’ you say?” It laughed, a more hearty and honest sound had probably never graced those tunnels before. “What did you expect? They were so adorable, I couldn’t help but cuddle them for their honest attempts to chase me away. I’m afraid I overdid it though, when they began to fall over from being too full I quickly reined it in. I do apologize for that,” it said, placing one of its pale hands to its chest.
The Queen was stunned. “Wha-? You…loved them into senselessness? And you find my children…adorable?” This was either a trick or some kind of madness. Nothing on Equus ever found her and her brood as more than frightening monsters, and this beast was trying to convince her it cared for her changelings?
“Of course not Queen Chrysalis,” the being said, proving her point and then continued, “that is to say, not just your drones; I think you’re even more cute than the rest of your brood.”
Before the blush could even finish forming on the queen’s cheeks, it signed deeply. “It’s a shame really.” The Queen picked up on his sudden shift of tone; from friendly to a cunning arrogance that sent chills along her carapace. As it turned its shadowed cowl towards her she could almost feel the menace begin to steal her air. “A shame I have to use you and your brood to prove my superiority!”
It threw its pale hands into the air as if supplicating the heavens for aid, then snapped them down in an outward waving motion. A low rumble rolled throughout the caverns for a moment and then all was still. “It is done. Once again, I have demonstrated my supremacy.” The Ultimate Evil began to laugh menacingly. Even as he danced around the raw blasts of force from the Queen’s horn, nothing seemed to abate his mirth; until it tripped over its own robes and tumbled onto the ground into a crumpled heap of limbs and cloth. It lay unmoving for a moment and then gave a deep sigh.
“I’m okay,” a muffled cry emitted from the struggling creature as it fought to right itself. Even in this supposedly helpless state, it managed to lurch and stumble just out of reach of the next blast until the queen had exhausted her reserves and could fight no more. The thing calling itself The Ultimate Evil didn’t even seem to notice her struggles as it brushed itself off and straightened out its wrinkled robes. Covering the area where she assumed its mouth was with one pale hand it gave an obviously forced cough and stood up tall while turning towards her.
“I meant to do that,” he claimed with hurt dignity.
Queen Chrysalis ceased her struggles when the reality of her situation came crashing down upon her consciousness. Her eyes shrank to pinpricks and she began to shiver uncontrollably. “What have you done to my children? What will you do to me?”
The Ultimate Evil leapt at the opportunity to redirect attention away from its previous error and scoffed at the Queen. “Yes, you should despair at their fate…for it is more horrible than you can imagine!” He pointed a pale finger at the quivering queen. “I have altered the makeup of your entire hive! Now when the other races see your lings in their natural state, they will find them as adorable as I do and due to the physiological changes your brood has undergone, they will easily be able to fill up on that simple adoration with no deception required!”
The expression of terror on the changeling’s muzzle slowly melted into one of abject confusion as his words penetrated her mind.
What?
“What?” her mouth betrayed her innermost thoughts.
“Oh yes,” the shadowed figure cooed as if speaking to a child. “And even worse, all excess love will be stored as potent nectar in the new collection pools I’ve added.” The biped began to circle the Queen with its pale hands clasped behind its back. It whispered the next torment with obvious glee. “As for the coup de grâce, I’ve tinkered with your brood to make it possible for changelings to feed other changelings through acts of cuddling or affection.” It leaned down to whisper in Chrysalis’s ear. “This is the price of your folly for trusting me.”
With that, the Ultimate Evil turned away and began to stroll leisurely towards the exit. “Don’t worry my dear. All the other so-called villains of this world will share your terrible fate.” It paused as if having a sudden thought and seemed to be peering at the stunned changeling monarch over its shoulder. “Oh, and don’t think I’m done with you my Queen. Soon, a representative will be here to induct the new Brood Collective into the Council of Nations, with you being their leading representative of course. With the onset of national trade, possible treaties, and a voice on the global stage becoming new responsibilities for you…I’m sure you will hate every second of it.” It turned to continue its exit with another menacing laugh, waving one of its pale hands lazily in the air as if in farewell.
After a few moments, she heard the being verbally abuse the dead end it had stumbled into before it moved towards another tunnel.
Chrysalis simply plopped down on her rear while she listened to the retreating figure and tried to unknot her brain. “And I thought the cute little colt was dangerous…” she whispered.
[Present Time]
Chrysalis shook the rest of the memory from her mind as yet another drone approached her. She paused to let the drone have a short break while they spoke. “Report my child.”
The messenger, Shining Obsidian she thought her name was, bowed in reverence. ‘Of course, I live to serve, my liege. I have the report on Lord Tirek you requested. It seems he is traveling the world under the name “Thrash King Tirek” now and is “going on tour” with plans to hold concerts “shredding metal”. The other messenger drones and I believe this to be some form of performance art, perhaps a demonstration of blacksmithing or metallurgy.’ Queen Chrysalis swallowed the giggle that threated to escape and simply nodded for the drone to continue. ‘His subjugation at the hands of something calling itself “The Ultimate Evil” and subsequent reunion with Scorpan have apparently changed his outlook on life.’ The drone paused and looked up at the Queen. ‘Thus ends the report Your Majesty.’
The Queen nodded with a smile. “Thank you Obsidian, you’ve done excellent work.” As she turned to go, the drone interjected another comment.
‘Oh, forgive me your grace, but I almost forgot; Lord Sombra is here to offer a treaty as the Royal Vizier of the Crystal Empire. They promise a school of lithomancy here within the hive in exchange for rare gemstones. He and a pair of crystal unicorns await your presence in the Royal Conservatory,’ Shining Obsidian informed her, nervously rubbing her two forelegs together.
“Oh?” Chrysalis asked. Her eyes seemed to slide back and forth with nervous energy. “How’s my mane? Do I look alright? Should I…yes, I should go find a gown, since I’m to meet another royal. Go and find Gleaming Shell and have her meet me in the Royal Bedchamber, I need to look my best!” The changeling queen hurried off towards her room. She wanted to really impress the unexpected arrival and leave him wanting a more…private audience.
[The Gates of Tartarus]
The great beast Cerberus had been utterly and totally defeated. It laid on its back in shame, its rear left leg spasming in helpless abandon as its furry middle chin was scratched mercilessly by a small (at least compared to the guardian) figure clad in black robes.
“Who’s a conquered doggy? You are! Yes, you are!” the figure cooed in an infuriating bout of baby talk. The great three-headed hound wanted nothing more than to use the biped as a chew toy, but it didn’t care for further application of the giant, rolled-up newspaper on its snout again and just admitted defeat; accepting this humiliation and hoping it would end soon.
The robed figure continued scratching the dog’s chin as he continued speaking. “Now you be a good minion and stay here, keeping anything else from going in or out until I return.” He turned his cowl-shadowed face towards the great gates and moved to close the distance. Rolling his neck with a satisfying crack and winding up his right shoulder, as if to warm it up, The Ultimate Evil gave a frustrated sigh.
“Somebody in here is going to respect me. I just have to keep demonstrating my awesomeness,” he paused for a moment. “And attractiveness,” he added. The man then stepped up to the gates and as he applied his palm to the intricate mess of spell arrays, the entire structure lit up and began the ponderous process of opening.
Driving one fist into the palm of his other hand with a loud clap, The Ultimate Evil almost radiated an evil grin from the shadowy depths of his hood. “Time to show these punks what real Evil is like!” As he marched forward to conquer all of Tartarus with a spring in his step and a heart full of death metal-
He tripped on his robe and went sprawling onto the ground, just inside the gates. He laid there for a moment, unmoving when a voice drifted up from the pile of collapsed Evil.
“I’m okay.”
Cerberus just placed his chins on the ground and covered his outer heads with his paws; a forlorn whine echoing throughout the cavern.
This is silly.
I love it
Is it wrong to want more?
Now all you have to do is save nigtmare moon and destroy celestia's cakes. Also dont forget to hug luna.
6898333
But destroying Celestia's cakes would make her sad!
6898317
I'm glad to hear it! And no, it's natural to want more EVIL!
I am the Ultimate Good!
Without conflict, there is no exciting stories for people to watch.
MLP is cancelled and Equestria ceases to exist.
Thus, the Ultimate Evil.
That...actually fits quite well with this character.
I love this so much.
MOAR!!!
And well... Look dat Views And Ratings. Not a single Dislike in 2 day.
10/10!
Edit: Are you fucking kidding me!?
6898692
Congratulations, you just made one appear.
(and no, it wasn't me)
6898719 pre00.deviantart.net/7b1e/th/pre/f/2011/285/3/a/are_you_fucking_kidding_me_by_rober_raik-d4clstk.png
6898771 Did someone say a spy?
6898712
Hey, what are you? Some kind of spy!
6898692
No one is more surprised than I was that it went for so long with no dislikes.
Alas! Alack!
6898779 Trolls, Trolls everywhere!
When you really think about it, Ultimate Evil might have just inadvertently caused the downfall of the Mane six as friends.
Rarity will become absorbed in her fashion work, AJ will become too preoccupied with the farm over producing and expanding even with help from the timberwolves (Not to mention the Apple Farm might just crash all other food markets due to supply and cost to produce...), Pinkie will probably spend forever with her Cookbook, Twilight will likely become a dissolved, antisocial shut-in with an infinite amount of studying at her beck and call, Rainbow Dash will become too involved in being a Captain, Flutters will have to deal with a massive flux of new animal populations due to increased survival rates and lowered death rates, and Spike might actually become a large dragon that everyone fears. Also, they might tear each other apart to get some of that Gary-stu Alicorn. Basically, they more than likely would fall apart from decreased interaction with each other.
6898810
*Death Pony wrings his hands...menacingly*
6898833
I'm glad you liked it! That's high praise from an established writer!
“Easy reading is damn hard writing.”
—Nathaniel Hawthorne
The ulimatest evil of dark evils to ever evilly be darkly evil in the ultimate of evil fashions.
6899050
Succinctly put.
6898810 Until Ultimate Evil realizes his 'mistake' and acts to bring them back together in order to give him one final epic showdown of Harmony vs Evil. One in which he will totally succeed and convert all of Equestria to his will, make everyone
lovefear him and become the most remembered evil in all the land.Or something like that.
...Wow. That's actually what I pictured.
6899179
As far as comedy voice actors go, I will always dig Jack Black. His ability to overact and switch from First to Fifth Gear at a moment's notice is legendary.
6899564
Harsh vibes man. I hope you liked the story at least!
>Looks at cover image
>"Holy fuck.jpg"
That's fucking Zargothrax.
metalkingdom.net/band/photo/1303/n4287.jpg
>searches through chapter
>looks for mentions of undead unicorn attacks
>mentions of Angus McFife
>nothing
I am now sad. I thought there was a Gloryhammer fic.
Oh well.
Still thumbed up though... don't know why.
6899673
I'm sorry to have such a grave lacking of undead unicorns in my story, but I hope you enjoyed it despite its shortcomings!
Is this story written by McDonalds? Because bada-ba-ba-ba, I'm lovin' it!
This is truly the greatest thing.
And I read all his lines in this low, almost whispered raspy voice which does not suit his actions at all and its fantastic.
lol they got rekt
6899564 So...salty over someone saying thank you for being featured? It's an acknowledgement, nothing more.
As for the story itself:
Can't. Stop. Laughing!!
The evil, and humor, has been doubled!
This was really good.
6898810
He has gained untold amounts of political power by handling the threats personally and turning them productive members of global government. Personally i would expect that once he has conquered Tartarus all of the world would kneel at him and hand him a Fortress of Doom at some prominent location, and possibly tittle "His Dark Eminence" or something such.
If you transform all who are evil to good then you alone can define who is evil. It is... this is beyond insane, beyond genius! He is turning all the worlds evil good and thus is becoming the ULTIMATE EVIL himself!
6898810
And, to be fair, this was like activating cheat mode in a game. It makes you lazy, you lose skill and become unable to deal with challenge. Rarity's example shows it best, along with Applejacks and Rainbow Dash. A LOT of new responsibilities that they were not prepared for. It's as if, instead of letting Twilight learn how to be a Princess, she would just throw her into princess work with high expectations. And we see twilight learning over the fourth season... So, yeah.
Pinkie pie, though, will have an issue. Not enough time to play all the games. Knowledge of there being several different holidays in a single day or a holiday everyday leading her to just overspend money to plan these parties. Not being able to successfully make some pastries or ponies finding them so delicious to point of addiction.
Fluttershy' animals learning to take care of each other without her input, maybe they would soon start treating ponies as pets instead? Or overpopulation due to preventing so many deaths with their medical know how and the meat tree. Ecosystem ruined.
Spike, yes, you had that completely right.
Twilight? Well, you were mostly right... But remember about Lovecraftian magics and such. Those that drive you to insanity simply by learning them.
Then there is nation of changelings. A race of shape shifters that bred fast and can sustain each other easily. Again overpopulation or war.
Sombra might actually have relapse of dark powers and evil, and with his current position it will make coup d'état easy.
Tirek will gain influence slowly but surely. If he ever feels need to steal magic, ponies will WANT him to do it.
Grodar... Not only overpopulation, again, but he could ressurect villains that died in history
6900426
No no you fail to see the true method to his maddness! He is well on his way of taking over all of Equestria, he has taken down ALL POTENTIAL RIVALS!
With all things ponies see as evil redeemed and all social problems resolved he can LITERALLY steal a lollipop (which was meant to him) and be the ULTIMATE EVIL in Equestria. He has culled the evil to such a degree that he can without doubth be the greatest villain the land has ever seen!
Unity through Harmony, Harmony through Evil, Evil through Happiness! ALL HAIL THE ULTIMATE EVIL!
EDIT: Think about it he could actually DESTROY the idea of good and evil!
Only The Tick could possibly save us from a villain this evil.
6900594 s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/3e/2f/6c/3e2f6ca71e22e602be94d6b34b120f81.jpg
6900432 Reform spells. Discord ate all of them for a reason.
To quote Chrysalis:
What?
Seriously though, this was so stupid that it was awesome. Stupid in the good way.
Have a like and a favourite!
Does he have a moustache? If not he is not evil enough.
6901038
Did somebody say, mustache?
pbs.twimg.com/media/A8-EK_SCAAA5xPn.jpg
6898449
derpicdn.net/img/view/2015/10/21/1006850__safe_solo_pinkie+pie_screencap_animated_upvotes+galore_open+mouth_tongue+out_frown_wall+of+faves.gif
The horror! The horror!
6901097
Trololol.
That time you realized "Crawling In My Skin" was actually a song about a chronic scabies mite infection...
6898449 Sitcoms have no supervillains. Some have lasted for more than a decade.
The terms of what constitutes 'conflict' need not have so one-dimensional an interpretation, you know.
Some of the best episodes of this series have been slice-of-life episodes, such as "Maud Pie" and "Hearts and Hooves Day". Besides, simply making them succeed at ONE thing doesn't make them all successful at everything. They can still falter outside their areas of expertise. And if he then makes them perfect at everything... then he can't possibly defeat them since they'd be perfect at EVERYTHING... including NUCLEAR WARFARE!! And perfect at mutating into super monsters after the nuclear warfare!
He succeeds so hard, he fails.
6900467 But he risks being corrupted by his own actions and turning into Genuinely Nice Guy!
Such hubris has led many to their downfall, you know!
6898810 Twilight might learn too much magic and become the Ultimate God Mode Sue, thus exceeding Ultimate Evil at ultimate evil!
By turning Equestria into G3.5... And forcing him to watch it.
6901423
Some authors tackle this idea head on; they establish that they could look like super cute talking ponies, but they smell like horses. Or that ponies may take many social cues from scent; not one of our stronger five senses compared to equines.
Then there's the whole uncanny valley aspects that one could imagine running into when faced with a live version of a cartoon. (Huge eyes, disproportionate body dynamics, etc)
And then there's bronies who may view sexual activities with these cultural icons as disrespectful or even sacrilegious.
So, there could be all kinds of reasons why a human male would run from aggressive mares.
6901464
But that is the beauty of it! If he would resolve all other matters then him being a NICE GUY would indeed be the ULTIMATE EVIL within Equestria! Think about it he could literally just chill and do whatever and still be the big bad without _any_ input to the system save making sure everyone else is good/better than him.
Can you think of more effective way to create a perpetual system to keep you the ultimate evil? You do not need to move to "I killed one more puppy than you did!" discussions you just need to whack everyone who even thinks of being evil with spell to turn them good and BOOM.
Unlimited evilest villain forever.
Edit: You could even make a friendquisition to do the whacking for you!