Writer, reviewer, creator of Filly Fantasy VI, occasional PMV maker, and uploader of mildly amusing image macros to Derpibooru. https://www.patreon.com/drakeyc
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During her time-twisting battle with Starlight Glimmer, Twilight finds herself in an Equestria ruled by a tyrant alicorn that calls herself the Queen of Equestria. In this world, Twilight's friends are gone and beyond her aid, and Equestria's citizens live in fear of their ruler's wrath should they anger her.
But no one has ever seen the pony who suffers the most in this world.
Pre-read by MythrilMoth and RT Stephens. Cover art vector by kindkristy99
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A very thought-provoking and sober tale, and I commend you for finding a logical way to explain an alternate timeline where Sunset Shimmer conquered Equestria. I also commend you for the way you handled her "And Then What?".
One problem I have with this, is the story implying that Trixie wouldn't mature and change from being with her friends for three years. TWILIGHT changed.
This is probably one of the best, fan made alternative universe stories based on The Cutie Re-Mark I have seen so far. Bravo!
6986297
Keep in mind that this is from Twilight's perspective and she's not exactly in the best of moods at the moment. It's probably her coping mechanism.
Based on how no one was surprised to see Twilight as an alicorn, and how Sunset called her Princess Twilight, the original Twilight in this timeline is an alicorn.
How did she pull it off, if Trixie was the Element of Magic?
6986407 I didn't get to work it in, but I presumed there was some effect of the time spell that had ponies seeing Twi as she is in their timeline, ie, not an alicorn. After all, no one else commented on the wings.
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Rainbow Dash commented on it in the show, and Sunset called her Princess in this story, though.
6986463 The Princess bit from me is a flub, thanks for catching it.
As for Rainbow, she did in the past, but no one did in the alt timelines.
6986488
Twilight and Starlight going back into the past had already caused it to branch off into each alternate timeline, though; they weren't created when Twilight was sent back into the future.
For example, the timeline where Rainbow Dash asked Twilight if she was an alicorn was the very same timeline where Queen Chrysalis took over; Twilight being sucked into the portal again after failing to get Rainbow to do the Rainboom sent her forward in the same timeline, not to a new one.
When you arrive at your goal, only to realize that you have ruined yourself getting there .
Hm, not bad fic, its interesting to see an alternate Equestria that isn't completely horrible. Its definitely not as nice as canon Equestria, but still better than all the other possibilities we saw in show. So here Sunset didn't become a raging she-demon when she put the crown on? Though maybe here the Element of Magic wasn't as strongly connected to Trixie as to Twilight, and without a new student who became an alicorn, Sunset wouldn't be quite as bitter or jealous I guess.
I don't blame the author, but I never like seeing Twilight blunder about an alternate timeline instead of just staying by the Cutie Map and catching her breath, unfortunately that's just staying faithful to the episode. Well, she was chased from the map a couple of times, but most of the alternates weren't that interested in helping her either (she was a complete stranger to them). Glad you referenced alternate Twilight at least, that was another annoyance about the original episode (no mention of Twilight in those other times).
Not bad. The ending worked well and wasn't something that I saw coming, so kudos for that. However, the two long exposition scenes (with Shining Armor and then the Queen) really dragged on and hurt the story. I feel that the story would have been much stronger if you had told it from the Queen's perspective. That way, instead of needing characters to tell Twilight (and the reader) the backstory, you get to show it to us instead. A scene where Sunset desperately looks for a spell to restore the mirror and fails would be very powerful if done right.
Seems that Sunset never heard the second part of Machiavello's warning for rulers: avoid hatred.
Wow, this was brilliant - not just for the additional villain-they-failed-to-stop AU, but Sunset Shimmer's take on everything that had happened. She got everything she wanted, and it turned out to be nothing like she'd dreamed, a terrible mistake she couldn't undo. Twilight's coming, learning that this wasn't the way things were supposed to be, came as a relief of sorts. Very emotional piece - adding this to my headcanon.
You've done a excellent job here, my good fellow. Also, what a interesting take at the alternate timelines. I feel though this could be expanded further. Perhaps by a prequel of sorts? Anyway, keep up the good work.
I imagine Sunset might have left her journal behind in the human world though. If so, perhaps she could use Celestia's copy to serve as a focus and relocate the human world that way. If she can't fix the old portal, just make a new one. I mean, Sunset was Celestia's student too after all. I bet she could possibly figure it out. Or she could order someone else to research it or something.
Sorry, I just desperately want Sunset to find some kind of redemption
Love to see a continuation, maybe Celestia who trapped in the human world unites the main five, and together with the human Twilight they find a way to return.
However this means for Sunset she will be defeated and banished to the human world, not that she fight it, she'll allow it and sadly let anyone do what they want to her, because of her sins.
6986297 Yes, because two episodes, one of which mostly showed us a showboating stage persona and the other one of which showed us what amounts to a demonic possession, TOTALLY shows us that Trixie is incapable of emotional growth.
This is utterly brilliant. Certainly better than the last attempt I saw at a Sunset Shimmer cutie-remark timeline.
6988000
MY POINT EXACTLY!
The idea that Trixie wouldn't mature when she actually has friends to care about, wouldn't enable her emotional growth feels wrong.
The REAL difference between Rainbow and Trixie is that Rainbow has had friends to temper her rough edges, Trixie has had no one.
I like this take on an alternate timeline where Sunset's plans from EG succeeds. The only plot hole being no one seems to notice Twilight is an alicorn but since the only pony who wasn't completely oblivious in the finale was filly Rainbow Dash I can forgive it somewhat; though it remains a plothole none the less since it was a plothole in the show as well.
6988050 Okay, I'm confused. I meant to ridicule you and imply that what you were saying made absolutely no sense through use of sarcasm. Now you seem to be agreeing with me, except not because you seem to have totally misunderstood what I was saying.
6986282 But couldn't there be a way for Sunset to fix everything?
I would love to see her try to redeem herself by releasing all of the statues!
6988093
Uh. I'm saying the story implied that Trixie wouldn't have matured at all from having the Element of Harmony as friends, because she wasn't up the challenge of getting the humane six back together. (Since Sunset got the crown ANYWAY after Twilight won the title of Princess for the formal, and it was the friendship the humane six had with Twilight being the missing link that actually saved the day. )
6988117 Or maybe she instead went with a plan that actually makes sense from a tactical standpoint and tried to secure the element, not having any idea of Sunset's plans, having already been advised that she had a limited time before the portal and figuring that a high school full of hairless monkeys couldn't exactly do much to stand in her way.
Uniting an alternate-universe version of your normal circle of friends so you can campaign to be prom queen is not a viable military strategy. Hell, the only reason that strategy ever needed to exist was because Sunset swapped out the Element of Magic with a plastic crown and forced herself to wait until the formal to wield its awesome power for literally no reason. The 'challenge of bringing the humane six together' is not the point of going to Canterlot High, nor would it have actually accomplished anything in a sane universe.
This text does nothing to imply a lack of emotional maturity and growth from Trixie. If it had meant to do so, the Mane Five would not have been petrified defending her to their last breath. What happened here is that Trixie pursued a plan that wasn't written for a children's movie, and probably only lost because of unfamiliar territory and strange biology.
Do you get it now?
6988108 And then subsequently be beaten into a bloody pulp and overthrown by ponies who don't have the power level necessary to command the sun and moon? Because that's kind of what the story itself points out would happen.
6988146
" literally no reason. "
Alternate character interpretation:
Celestia hands out the crown. A friend suggested and I agreed with, that it's possible Sunset was living out her fantasy.
6988146
Except that isn't how Twilight describes her, she describes the Trixie she knows. Or rather, the Trixie she knew at first.
6988108 What 6988149 said. Sunset's created a mess she can't fix by any means other than freeing everypony she's imprisoned/stoned, surrendering the Element of Magic, abdicating, and exiling herself. And then Equestria is left without an alicorn to raise the sun and moon. There's no way out of the mess she's made.
Words aren't sufficient. Have a like, instead.
6988187 And that's relevant how? Twilight is the least informed character in this story. The Trixie she knows probably has nothing in common with the Trixie from this timeline. The closest we get to an informed description of Sunsetverse Trixie is when Shiny says she's not a princess. That's not even factoring in how Twilight was acting like an idiot through the entire season finale.
Twilight's description of Trixie is not credible evidence in this argument.
As for your rebuttal to my statement of "literally no reason", allow me to amend it to "her plan is to take over Equestria, why the fuckity fuck fuck would she need to have her prom queen moment if she's going to be queen of the actual Equestria? Your theory doesn't even make sense within the total absence of logic that was that movie".
Shia Labeouf claps for you.
Excellent fic. I feel really bad for Sunset here, and hope for her and all of Equestria's sake that this isn't a true alternate reality, and is successfully undone. That being said, if this has become it's own separate timeline, I'd be interested in finding out if Sunset can ever undo this cock-up. First step would be trying to release the element bearers of this world, methinks. Again though, nice work.
As much as I would like to have seen this story continue, with this Twilight trying to help Sunset become a more... likable ruler I'm glad it was just a oneshot.
Wonderful work.
6986678
In this timeline, Sunset got what she wanted, instead of what she needed. Poor Sunset.
6988212 That's what you say. You obviously try to pass this notion of a dark grim future either way yet I am not convinced to the least.
As for this fic... I think it lacks the wordcount to really pass the atmosphere it's trying to pass. That's all I can truly say about this. Which is why I dislike this. I don't think anyone can set up a world, conflict, relationships, and subsequently end them within 4k words. Hell even when I tried to do this in my oneshot "Friendship Lost..." it took almost 5k plus words just for one person and their nation. Maybe it's skill but imho this fic could be a gazzilion times better if DrakeyC was patient. I'd wagger this would be at least 8k words in other circumstances.
As it stands most of this fic is "This happened, and this happened, and this happened. Go fix the timeline."
But hey... maybe that's just me.
This timeline's Sunset Shimmer has come to a dreadful, horrendous and soul-destroying wisdom far too late: Sometimes your greatest victory leaves you wishing for the ashes of defeat. One should be very wary about working towards an ambitious goal - You may find yourself achieving it and then having to live with the consequences.
6989019 I admit I agree. I tried to think of ways to give the fic more substance, but I wanted the focus to stay on the backstory of this alt world and Sunset's role in it, and it was already very long anyway.
That said, while I think it turned out all right and I like it... top of the feature box? Really?
I don't get this fandom sometimes.
This feels like a single chapter from a longer story, mostly because it is (the story keeps saying Twilight is right in the middle of fighting Starlight). It doesn't work too well standing on its own. We already know the timelines are messed up from watching the episode.
6989069 tv tropes "Viewers are morons" should really explain this along with "magnum opus dissonance".
It has happened to me too mate.
This was a good story
An interesting take on how Sunset came to power in this timeline and how she vanquished Celestia and the chosen Elements.
The only downside I have, is that this your typical "I-conquered-Equestria-and-now-I-regret-it" story. It doesn't feel like an actual scene from "Cutie Re-Mark". Sunset is not evil enough...
Kinda head-scratching how interfering with the Rainboom led to this. Sunset was gone LONG before NMM's return, which was the only point Twilight & Co. had any real impact on anything.
6989175 Trixie was the weak link. While Twilight was an unreliable narrator for how it went down, basically, Trixie failed where Twilight succeeded in stopping Sunset's plans.
6989181 Soooooo... what became of the other villains? I'm assuming Celestia somehow stopped NMM, Discord, Chrysalis, Sombra, and Tirek all by her lonesome? She stopped all of them... including Discord, the single most powerful entity in their universe on his own merits... but couldn't do anything to Sunset?
Also... the Elements would still be stones in this timeline without the Bearers. Trixie in no way would embody the Element of Magic... or any other Element for that matter. How would Celestia even come to choose her, a filly with no outstanding magical abilities at all? And what of the other 5 Bearers? Who would they be and why? This world has too little background to stand on its own legs.
In any case, this still leaves the big problem of Sunset using the Element of Magic for evil once she returns to Equestria. Once in its native land, how could she be sure it wouldn't return to its original function and reject her instantly? For that matter, how did she even know what an Element used in another world would do in the first place when there was absolutely no information available (enormous plot hole in EqG, ya know?).
The story simply compounds all the problems of EqG AND the Season 5 finale into one titanic implausibility.
Hey, that was pretty good!
6988149 True. But stupidity has been the basis of many a good story.
6988212 But she could try to make the mess easier.
It would be an interesting sequel series.
Doesn't that sound awesome!
I like this story.
Beautiful I'm crying tears of moving
6989467 It was also the basis for Equestria Girls.