Sweetie Belle trys to return to normal life, but after everything she's been through, will she want to? Meanwhile, Lyra aims to get to the bottom of these "precursors" one way or another. Book II of III
The Blank Plague has burned out in Canterlot and Ponyville, but one alicorn must still undergo its ravages. But the Princess of Dreams has duties that cannot be left untended, and dreams will not bear the sun's light...
Despite still being plagued by nightmares, Lilac has adapt well and spends their time in the idyllic Ponyvile. When pains of the past resurface, Lilac has to help shoulder those pains, and help heal that which was broken.
When Twilight gets bullied at her school, a filly named Lyra Heartstrings helps her, and they quickly become friends. But when Twilight gets accepted to be Princess Celestia's student, she has to leave her new friend behind
It's okay, and I like the idea, but it needs a bit of work.
The most obvious problem is the tense - present tense is unusual for a story, and you seem to be having trouble yourself sticking to it, because there are points where you slip back into past tense. You're much better off sticking to past tense completely - there's rarely ever a reason to use present tense in a story, and it can be quite off-putting to some.
I'd also recommend using block paragraphs (each paragraph separated by a blank line) rather than your indented style. Block paragraphs are much easier to read, especially on a screen. Indented style tends only to be used on paper these days.
Finally, one thing that would improve this is more detail. It's very rushed - there's a whole conversation that could be had at the kitchen table, so that we get to see more of Twilight's relationship with her brother and mother, her feelings, etc. It jumps straight from breakfast to school, which is slightly jarring, and again, a missed opportunity to see Twilight and Shining Armor walk to school (or did they get the school cart? We don't know, because we don't know anything about where the school is, or what kind it is.)
Aside from that, I do like your Lyra, and the idea of her being schoolfriends with Twilight could be interesting. :)
Maybe it should say "thrown inside of a locker" instead of "throws her into a locker...". To me, it sound like Twilight was slammed against it, instead of put inside of it.
It's okay, and I like the idea, but it needs a bit of work.
The most obvious problem is the tense - present tense is unusual for a story, and you seem to be having trouble yourself sticking to it, because there are points where you slip back into past tense. You're much better off sticking to past tense completely - there's rarely ever a reason to use present tense in a story, and it can be quite off-putting to some.
I'd also recommend using block paragraphs (each paragraph separated by a blank line) rather than your indented style. Block paragraphs are much easier to read, especially on a screen. Indented style tends only to be used on paper these days.
Finally, one thing that would improve this is more detail. It's very rushed - there's a whole conversation that could be had at the kitchen table, so that we get to see more of Twilight's relationship with her brother and mother, her feelings, etc. It jumps straight from breakfast to school, which is slightly jarring, and again, a missed opportunity to see Twilight and Shining Armor walk to school (or did they get the school cart? We don't know, because we don't know anything about where the school is, or what kind it is.)
Aside from that, I do like your Lyra, and the idea of her being schoolfriends with Twilight could be interesting. :)
Maybe it should say "thrown inside of a locker" instead of "throws her into a locker...". To me, it sound like Twilight was slammed against it, instead of put inside of it.
I like the idea but you need a little work on your tenses. Past and present tense get confused at times.
That said, I'd love to see more.