Vesperquines—batponies—have faithfully guarded Equestria's night for a thousand years. Apart from Celestia, they alone have kept the memory of Princess Luna alive in their hearts. And they alone know of their failure, of how they were not the friends she needed when jealousy and despair gnawed at her.
They pray for a second chance. They vow to do better.
And then, one night, miraculously, she returns.
But the princess whose memory they cherish is still lost to her mad fury. And for a young recruit of the Night Guard, the nightmare has just begun.
Chapters (7)
Gotta admit I love Nebula's attitude, just don't antagonize her and never call her anything but Luna. He has no doubt Nightmare Moon is just a condition Luna is suffering from and all she needs is reminded of her real self. I also get the feeling he's severed under Celestia so long he has no doubt the sun princess has been preparing for her sister's return and he just needs to keep everypony calm till the plan kicks in
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Plan? Plan? There's a plan?
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The best plans are the ones so subtle you can't even tell they are in place :)
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Who is this 'Nebula' stallion you keep speaking of? Is he some how related to Captain Nebula, the female captain of the Night Guard? Also, what is he severing exactly? I haven't seen anything being severed in this story.
Severed: divided by cutting or slicing, especially suddenly and forcibly.
Clearly I've missed a lot of story so far, since I haven't seen any male named Nebula or anypony counting on Celestia having a plan to fix this. Just Miss Nebula going on about how ignoring Nightmare Moon's blatant malevolence and treating her like Luna will magically make her 'all better'... only, ya know, without the magic.
The 'Tab' key is never a valid alternative to the 'Space' key.
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Well, that was weird. Seems to be fixed now.
This is really good so far. If this was not on Nightmare Moon Is Best Pony I never would have found this story.
Interesting take on the aftermath of Celestia and Nightmare Moon's battle. Celestia becoming a child-like mental patient for a few decades wondering where Luna went is amusing but tragic.
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It looks like that's just a freak formatting error.
Where'd you come up with the name vesperquines?
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I wanted something to call them besides just "batpony," but I didn't like using "thestral" because it's a word invented by J. K. Rowling, and every time I hear it I think of Harry Potter. There are obscure bat-winged hell-horse creatures from Greek mythology called "pyrippi," but I just don't like the sound of the word. So I mashed up the Latin "vespertuus" (bat) (or maybe just "vesper" which is "evening") and "equine" and went with that.
And they didn't notice the huge visage of Nightmare Moon being gone from the moon?
But I digress. This was very well written, a pity it doesn't have more views.
One thing that bothered me was that it seems a bit random for NM to be in Canterlot less than an hour after she comes back. Shouldn't she be in Ponyville/the Everfree right now? Plus, it seems kind of petty of her to be looting stores and squabbling with random ponies.
Still, this was engaging enough for me to want to keep reading. Consider it tracked.
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I was afraid someone would bring up the moon. I guess hiding it behind the castle doesn't quite cut it, eh? [edit: I've done a bit of tweaking, it should be less an issue now.] As for Nightmare Moon's animus toward Sun Street... well, she's absolutely being petty.
'Flying is so much fun' or 'My wings are so pretty.'
Did you just...?
Now that is a name.
This is glorious.
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I'm so happy somebody noticed!
Bravo
Moves, Counter-moves, removes, improves, proves, disproves, approves, grooves, behooves and less closely; youths.
None of which fit at the end of the rhyme he was making of course.
I have left a comment on this video telling everyone how Hasbro now has a bloody and mentally damaged Celestia doll: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lpfqOkr1dcE. Then I e-mailed the same message to the friend who introduced me to the story.
I love how you incorporated lines from the toys in this story.
"I would love it if you brushed my mane."
Great story on top of that, left me feeling all warm and fuzzy
This is a great start for a story.
This chapter does show the problem with captain Nebula's plan namely outside of the Night Guard very few ponies will have faith that Luna can simply be redeemed by friendship. Twilight Sparkle wouldn't have faith in it and wouldn't trust in a stranger.
I can't believe you added in all those lines from the talking toys, and yet it somehow doesn't undercut the intense drama. XD
Man, her unending optimism seems naive, but it's so inspiring at the same time.
This has been so good, but the extended Pinklestia gag... I'm not sure how to take that.
Went on a bit long, but otherwise this was fun.
I have a headcanon stored away somewhere for a rainy day that batponies' roles in Equestria were to prank other ponies and keep them from getting too complacent. I would like to think it looked something like this. :)
That was really good. :)
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Don't know that I'd call it a gag, exactly...
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Thank you!
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Yeah, it's definitely a good bit more emotional than 'gag' quite covers.
PresentPerfect pointed me here, and I an deeply glad that he did. A masterful blending of canon and original work, with great action and some truly unexpected references. Thank you for it.
Darn. This is so beautiful.
Very, very good.
Wait, complete? As in the story is finished?
Nonononono, it can't be finished! We just got started! Luna has just reunited with her ponies of the night, we need stories of them having fun! Showing Luna how much has changed! Teaching her how to have fun in the night! Fun stuff! Happy stuff! Waffy stuff!
On a less rambling note, I really enjoyed this story. I'd been wondering just where batponies fit in the world of Equestria myself, given how they kind of mess with Luna's background of being alone in her nights, and this tale has certainly provided one of the more credible answers I've seen so far. I loved it.
But still... any plans for a sequel?
Beautiful!
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It's more like she's just discovered she has them! But alas, no thoughts for a sequel so far. Sorry!
...it would probably go like:
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Darn. Well, guess that means I have to put you on follow. You know, in case you're struck by inspiration. For this or any other stories.
I was definitely rooting for Soarin this chapter. Literally the only thing the night guard have going for them is wishful thinking. They are supporting a tyrant and usurper on the off chance that friendship will make her nice.
Very enjoyable! Congrats on the RCL feature!
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Oh, Soarin is certainly not in the wrong here, no. On the flip side, the Wonderbolts have no realistic chance to subdue Nightmare Moon, so being defeated by Sky may have saved Soarin's life.
An excellent story! Putting in some self doubt actually really sells the Elements as triggers rather than just McGuffins.
As a matter of fact, he does
.
Ok, this is amazing. Nice job.
that last part made me think of the "shadowbolts" scene...
one of the comments reminded me of a strange story called "Celestia, the changeling queen".
(Celestia essentially forces a changeling queen to take her place shortly after battling Nightmare Moon)
I loved it too bad there isn't a sequel
You took that goofy Pinklestia from way back and turned it poignant. I would never have thought of that. Bravo.
I LAUGHED OUT LOUD, that was great. XD Fantastic writing, Im eager to see how this continues!
I love this line. I had to tell you that. Sometimes I happen upon a sentence, a phrase, that just HITS me with a perfect visual, tone, feel, and this is one. I want to borrow this simile for my own stories. Beautiful.
But while I’m here, I should mention it’s past 5 in the morning and I’m still reading. This is so good, the emotions and reasoning, the hope for someone most would right off as irredeemable. I can’t wait to see how it concludes. Thanks for writing such a beautiful, uplifting story.
I teared up, oh my goodness. The part where he spoke her titles gave me chills, it was so moving; I expected maybe for him to say Princess Luna, but you made it so much more powerful. This was so beautifully woven into the show, and the HOPE, the beautiful, unrelenting HOPE for her salvation... I tell you, for me as a Christian, that spoke to me in ways I don't know whether you intended.
I think the only critique I could give of the whole story was that the fight scene in the forest felt like it dragged on too long. I had to skim parts of that since much of it felt like repetitive descriptions of his dodging through the forest. And maybe that Nightmare Moon didnt use “thou” here like Luna does for the first few seasons. But thats it. Overall, by and large, in the most important ways, this was beautiful and moving and REALY SKILLFULLY WRITTEN. Im so glad someone on one of my Discord servers shared it, it is going in my Favorites folder. Excellent work and thank you again for this uplifting and excellent story!
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Wow, what a great comment. Thank you! It's true I wasn't consciously writing from a Christian perspective, but I'm very happy the story was able to resonate with you so profoundly all the same. I see that steadfast hope and faith that Luna can be brought back to the goodness in herself as the moral core of the story.