Sans is on the verge of death until a portal opens up saving him, but the only questions are, who made the portal, and where is he?
----Warning----
Will Contain Spoilers for UnderTale's Genocide Ending!
Chapters (2)
JustFanFiction
Joined 22nd Feb, 2016 ·
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Ha! Nice puns! That is why I like Sans. Nice story so far, keep updating.
I love it!
I look forward to more of this story in the future! I like it a ton, a skele-ton!
this is really good for someone's first story. the chapter is a bit short though. that's really my only problem.
more plz
MOAR!!!!
pls.
Short but long enough to get people interested
I like it thus far. Have a fav, follow, like, and a laugh on me!
Heh glad to see so many people enjoy it I'll try to upload the next chapter as soon as possible!
Good job here with this story! I shall eagerly await the next chapter.
Please write more, this is a fun start to a fic
It's cute, but you could use an editor.
I must wonder haw Sans managed to survive that long. After all, he only has 1 hp.
No one likes large paragraphs which are pretty much the entire chapter. NO ONE.
MOAR!!!
pls
7268442 Sorry, like I said it's still my first story, I'm not exactly an expert yet
MOAR!!
Hey, this ain't bad.
Here's a tip, when you're makin' the character's talk, make sure to seperate them with a space between each bit of dialogue, unless its the same character talking.
You're doing pretty good for a first fic. Keep it up!
Don't mean to be picky. But one of sans's lines is'nt blue. It says "sorry diddent hear ya" or something like that.
BTW love the fanfic so far
Love it! I can't wait for more from you!
7268433 ermmm.... DETERMINATION!! ... ?..
7281393 7268433 Coulda Shoulda Woulda.
Either way, I like where this is going!
A usual reaction when something Extraterrestrial comes to town.
I like it. Keep up the good work.
As much as I want to say I like it. The whole start to it seems very plain and somewhat uninteresting. Questions are answered immediately and the whole time I was not worried about San's predicament. Everything just went hunky dory and Plain Jane. Why not have Sans struggle to retain consciousness, why not struggle against the timber wolves? Fluttershy seems to be extremely accepting of a stranger made of bones from an unknown creature. Why not have him slowly crumble to dust while struggling to seek medical attention? Why not have Flutteryshy freak out about a mysterious creature's walking and talking skeleton that is crumbling to dust and somehow still managing to bleed? (Geez, redundant statements and questions on my end much?) Why is he not freaking out about that fact that he is hurt, angry and resentful that his brother and so many other monsters are dead? He can crack jokes and puns, but they need to have some impact. "Please don't Shy away, it's not like I'm dyn' t'see a doctor or anything..." He has a motivation to stay alive, he has been given an opportunity to recover. Fluttershy somehow managed to bandage up a bleeding skeleton to feel better after a death blow...? Give the reader some panic and anxiety while going through this story. They need to be invested in San's predicament. Sadly I'm not seeing that. There is potential, but it is not being used. I'm open if you would like any help with this story.
moar?
Really good second chapter, but I agree with m2pt5 on this one, you should find an editor to fix mistakes, or to proofread(or do it yourself), anyway keep it up.
Are you still working on this chapter?
he cant wait to see my normal me what to do stay determined or should i say *deadetermined*
7269713 yo wtf is this still active
i like it please make MOAR
Hej mi amas tiun , sed , ĉu vi povas ĝisdatigi baldaŭ , mi havas malbonan habbit de ĝena homo , do bonvolu dont esti unu el ili ! danke.
BOUT TIME THEY DID THAT, THING WERE LOOKING A LITTLE DEAD
I think this is really good for a first story, please continue it
Please continue this
WE MUST REVIVE THIS STORY
OFFLINE for 19w, 1d
hes dead bruh
7799025 I AGREE!!!
Please do the next chapter of this!
7973303 jeez, COME MAKE A NEW ONE PLEASE!!!
8119206 WHY ARE YOU ASKING ME?!!?!?!?
8124452 because you made the same comment? (if its offensive then i can take it down)
8124977 naaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah, it's cool.
I love it !
yep its dead
7289100
Thank you for your feedback, Ill take it into consideration as I come out of hiatus
11172524
Oh wow, thank you. I'm am proud to know that I helped a little bit. I hope that the criticism didn't come off too harshly considering how long it has been since I posted that comment. But I look forward to seeing the new update, and once more if you feel okay with it, I am available to feedback if you ever need help looking something over.