While telling ghost stories one night, the CMC and their friends find a book in Twilight’s library detailing the description of a horrid creature that walks on two legs, has no fur, and has a flat mouth filled with teeth. Needless to say, their imagination gets the better of them.
This creeptastic image was made by ECTmonster
OH, NO! THE DREADED HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!
7278730 The inspiration behind this story is that since the CMC have never seen a human, they have nothing to go on but Twilight's description. Placing the story during Nightmare Night came on a whim, I thought if anything the image capture what I believe such a horrible creatures (humans) would look like to a young filly's mind.
Plus, eating four-legged animals, scary stuff!
This is a very good one-shot.
7280034 Thanks!
Good story and good idea lol fillys imagining humans they have not seen. It was fun to have this story early, you don't need it to be Halloween to share a good ghost story. Well done.
7283093 Appreciate it
Oh my Celestia. I actually caught the reference to your story "Chitt-Chitt" and the Rainbow Factory one. Clever you, clever you.
7285827 Did you catch the references to other grim darks?
7286153
Looks like I'll have to read it again some time soon.
SPOILERS AHEAD!
If you haven't read the story and you're browsing comments, GO BACK UP THERE AND READ IT (PLZ)
ohhhh nice detail!
Scootaloo's Internal Thoughts, MaYbe: My bucking friends with their bucking nerd criticism and their bucking nitpicking of my story I tell you the next time Sweetie Belle and Apples make fun of my tale Imma wreck their houses and steal all their pets
I like the nitpicking of Scootaloo's story. Somehow, before you even wrote a name, I knew it was Scootaloo telling the story :)
I'm loving the way that you describe the environment as though it were threatening the CMC, because with overactive imaginations, that's exactly what it would seem like :)
I'm loving these jokes. The naming conventions of ponies makes it perfect <3
Twilight: "You can have any room in the house as long it's not any of the rooms in the house save for maybe this one." :P
I love the joke you made there with Twilight's restrictions.
The comedy here is wonderful, immediately telling the reader that Spike is not every good at this particular job. :P
That's cute :)
I feel Sweetie Belle is your in-world avatar, bringing your knowledge to the characters and the readers. :P
Yeah Sweetie Belle! I hope you feel really good about making that joke/reference when your mutliverse self is experiencing unbridled (heh) terror at the thing that's been haunting her at night:
http://www.fimfiction.net/story/294748/chitt-chitt
I like your references in this story :)
Scootaloo, you know not what you say O.o [Rainbow Factory]
I bet carnivores are terrifying to these herbivores. Nice spin on that!
Well if you put it THAT WAY, then wow, humans really are pretty terrifying. Unless we're talking about two-legged dragons :P
Spike! :D I honestly knew it was him the moment that description started. But it was still wonderful, nonetheless :)
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I really enjoyed this story! The comedy was great, and the bits of creepiness made it work wonders. The references were good too (and I'm sure I missed quite a few of them). I like seeing the CMC have fun together. It's inspiring to see their friendship and you did a fantastic job with the banter back and forth.
Fav, liked and commented! Great story!
7363631 So you did catch the reference to my now story. And you found "Rainbow Factory" as well. I made reference to several other grim darks in this story. Can you find them all?
7363720
Hah! I know there's a NIghtmare Moon grimdark references, but I don't recall the story. I've been a brony since spring 2011, but I didn't get into grimdarks until recently :)
7363731 If you look at my list Dark stories, you might find out the grim darks I am referring to. They all gave me nightmares.
7363936
NICE! I look forward to it. I'm writing the extended review for "Off the Road" right now. What a nightmare! :D
I laughed at the end when Spike turned out to be the one walking around P.S spooky scary humans!!!!!
7364128 The premise of the story is you have nothing to fear but fear itself...or the fears you make up in your mind. As the CMC have never seen humans before, it's only fitting that Twilight's description of them would have them them conjuring morbid depictions of the two-legged carnivores. Besides, Spike should get a little payback for all the crap he's put through.
7364152 Of course. Sometimes the scariest shit is merely a product of our minds
Wait... but I read the trees are screaming multiple times long ago, so where is the reference to it? I know that thing very well, but I didn't find a reference to it in here.
Also, my mind can start playing music at the drop of a hat, and of course, Wooden Toaster's Pegasus Device song started playing around the time I got to the reference to it.
7366433 Okay, I didn't make reference to all of the Dark stories. But if you read them, you'll figure out which ones I'm referring to.
Fun! You tricked me for a bit there, you know: what with the Equestria Girls series, one would think Twilight wouldn't describe humans in such terms, and I thought maybe we were supposed to think it was humans but it was actually something else, but then it turned into a prank.
I never knew humans were so scary...
7941114 We all fear what we dont understand. The CMC learned that the hard way. Thanks for commenting.
Nice story!
7967772 Thanks!
7973536 Yeah, it's nice and spooky!
Yeah good job Spike
8180242 Thanks
Holy fucking shit I know for a fact that cover art is going to give me fuckin nightmares for fuckin weeks jesus fucking christ
8252895 Nothing's scarier than the imagination. :scoot angel:
References I caught off the top of my head:
Reference to Chitt-Chitt
Reference to Please Open The Door
Reference to Rainbow Factory
I think the Nightmare Moon thing was a reference, and possibly the whole Boogey Mare thing, but I'm still looking for all the good grimdarks I can find.
Up next: WHITE
8406863
Not bad. Though the BoogeyMare is a reference to one of my absolute favorite MLP Grimdarks.
Thanks for reviewing!
8407105
Really? Care to link it?
Also, my absolute favorite Dark fic is Please Open The Door. The atmosphere was fantastic, the sense that they could have been real(although, I think only visitor two really was,) was great for questioning morals and putting yourself into AJs shoes, and the twist at the end was great. I find my mind wandering at times, like.. Did Applebloom think AJ was a changeling in her final moments? I mean, Applejack DID ask her "Do you love me?" right before she killed her.
Apologies for this weird post. Sleep deprived atm.
Do you mind linking the Boogey Mare story?
Do you mean Sweetie Belle?
*its
*eats
That damn picture is the stuff of nightmares...I'm gonna see the cover art for this story in My dreams.
10044281
Happy Nightmares!
Me: Heheheheheheheheh. That one was a good story, too.
You're on a roll!
10947759
Good catch. How many more king find?
10952435
Found a few more, then realized I should give others a chance to find them (if they're like me, they look at comments to gauge a story before reading sometimes).
I appreciate the detail in the description of humans as these (unintentionally) horrific creatures, though I feel like it went too quickly into disturbing territory. A little more buildup of gradually more unsettling details would boost the scare factor a lot.
Either way, good work!