Blackness whispers within the core of the great diamond, forgotten by those old enough to remember. For centuries, it cried out from within its earthen tomb, too faint for any to hear. With the fall of Lord Tirek, the magic he had stolen surges across Equestria.
The diamond thrums, resonating with the untold energy. Its voice caresses Spike's unsuspecting mind, begging him to seek out the artifact and allow it to transform his deepest desire into reality.
As seen on Equestria Daily.
Art commissioned from the amazing IDW My Little Pony comic book artist Tony Fleecs.
Thanks to LegionPothIX, R5h, Inquisitor M, AugieDog, and Prak.
Edited by Horse Voice.
Chapters (8)
Intriguing but unsettling. I'll keep an eye on this one.
Well this is interesting. I haven't finished reading yet, and I won't just yet for a very simple reason. This just kicked my writer's block to the curb. Seriously, I usually read something before I start writing, and I happened to notice you'd posted this somewhere. Right around when Spike left the castle I realized exactly what I needed to do for my story, and then spent an hour pushing out a full outline for the rest of my story, then 1000 words of actual story. I'm going to save this, and come back to it tomorrow when I want to start writing again. Maybe I'll finish it by sometime next week.
Also, hi. It's been a while since I've seen something of yours.
7583217
Sounds like the first chapter achieved its desired effect! I plan on updating this weekly for the next couple of months, so you can expect consistent new chapters until it's done.
7583480
Hey, that's pretty cool! I'm glad the story helped you out. At that pace, you'll have another chapter to read by the time you finish the first one. Also, it's been a while since I posted anything, so...
Me and Edward of course
< your fanfic
...< Inspiration Manifestation episode.
Me and the book of course!
Really? A dragon that can swim in lava without any problem, complains about a hot day? Well, let's see, most lava is between 1,300 °F and 2,200 °F (700 °C to 1,200 °C) while the highest meteorological temperature ever recorded was 134.06 °F (56.7 °C) ... yeah, I can see why he'd sweat
but with that little nitpick aside, it's a neat little fic with plenty of possibilities (alongside the psychological aspect of the gem's potential "desire" [for lack of a better word]) so I'll definately be keeping an eye out for anything more
Okay... I am trying to guess what will follow, and I am stumped, which leaves me craving for more.
MOAR! MOAR, I SAY!
Seriously, though, this is a damn good start. You have my full attention with this one.
Okay, bad idea here, Twilight. Showing the high Princess of the land a diamond that show your desires but twisted. Something tells me Celestia has some desires she wants hidden and this Diamond will twist them out of portion.
--
All in all, a very good story here. I can't recall what part of a story forced this kind of thing though, it's similar to facing a dark mirror, one that shows not just your desires, but your darkest, most vile thoughts. It's not sentient, but it is...its yourself. Can't wait to see more.
7584675
I started this fic so long ago, I may have actually written that line before that episode came out. Either that, or I unknowingly made the line similar. Good catch!
7585875
Hopefully this one delivers!
7585761
I'm glad the first chapter grabbed your interest! I'm really excited to see what everyone thinks of the next few chapters.
7606207
Thanks for the comment! The next chapter will come up on Tuesday. The mirror from the Crystal Empire definitely helped me come up with this idea, but I take it in what I think is a pretty neat direction.
Oh shit... Spike dun fucked up!
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7618634
I'm sure we all saw that one coming!
Well, shit.
How will they get out of this one? Looking forward to the next chapter.
damn
, can't wait for the next chapter
Never eat a magical artifact larger than your head. Always ends badly.
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Thanks! This is the part of the story I'm most excited about.
7622708
I'm sure Arthur Weasley said something along those lines at some point.
7622833 It's from the evil overlord list, but it's probably also on page one of the handbook for the misuse of muggle artifacts office.
7622878
Ah, but of course! I hope you like the next chapter come Tuesday.
SHIT JUST GOT REAL!
7638171
Now what I'm wondering is how many people saw that coming.
7651940
Aurora daybreak winning, at least for now? Seemed a bit likely, actually.
I just caught up to the previous chapter just a few hours ago, and I was very excited to see this chapter update right now.
I wonder if there's more to why Aurora is able to persuade Spike than him just being younger or a dragon or something.
I liked to Celestia trying to get through to Spike, though... (Especially considering we don't know if Spike has any control or not.)
That Spike's body was stolen like this and the rather frequent reinforcement that Aurora has twisted his body to make it hers makes my skin crawl.
WOW! That bitch don't pull her punches! I hope AJ cuntpunts Daybreak for that one.
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I'm very happy to hear you're enjoying the story so far! Daybreak in general was a fun character to write. She's great at manipulating others, and she had a strong grip on Spike, so it was pretty easy for her to execute her plan.
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Not gonna lie, I'm rather proud of that little bit. A big reason is because this showcases how in some instances, telling is much better than showing, when done correctly.
7658353
Now why didn't I think of that!
7670547
She knows what's best for you!
And to Spike... Typical Rainbow Dash.
7692744
Well, funny story about that...
oi67.tinypic.com/15x7hbq.jpg
Nobody really... addressed Spike's issues. Or did they and I just disagree that it was a good addressing?
Like, everything they said that is evidence as to why they love each other... was all about what Spike did for them. About how useful he was to them, and how appreciated he was for his service.
This only changes whether or not they're "oppressing" him in that oppression is outwardly cruel and they are not... but the same thing where the focus is still on what he does for someone else.
Was that what you were going for? That Spike didn't really want to not be a servant, or to not be primarily good because he is useful, but to be reminded he was a good servant and his service was appreciated?
7706886 I liked this story, but you have a point. Spike was all "you guys don't appreciate me" and the Mane 6 were like "no Spike, remember all that stuff you did for us?" Applejack didn't even mention the time she saved Spike from Timberwolves.
There's a psychological rule that people like you more after they do you a favor then after you do them a favor, this is clearly on display here.
7711528
I think I overall liked the story, too. Good tension, good buildup and characterization of the other characters' traps and how to shock them out of them, a few surprises of what exactly was going on in the buildup with what Aurora had planned.
I do think the part of the climax interacting with Spike's inner conflict and his relationship with the people in his life was weak, though, and a stumble in the climax is a pretty big deal.
About the psychological "rule", do you mean it's on display by how they used examples of Spike's prior favors to convince him he was appreciated and that he still liked them?
My favorite part was definitely the exploration of the dark side of the desires of the Mane 6, especially Fluttershy and Rarity.
7711816
Yup, that's it exactly.
Just realized something: Spike is officially a member of the friendship court, according to the Tree of Harmony, since he got his own chair. But he's never been sent on a friendship mission. I wonder if he ever will.
That climax reminded me of Breath of Fire 2's, a lot. Wouldn't mind an epilogue with more details on what happened to Daybreak, and maybe some final doubt on Spike's part.
So to convey that the ponies have learned to express their love for Spike more openly, Rarity continues toying with his emotions, only this time intentionally disappoints him.
This reads very much like an MLP episode, or one of their comics, really. Very polished story with a moral and clear good and evil sides. None of the characters sounded...well, out-of-character.
Personally, for the sake of more depth and complexity, I would've wanted Daybreak's spell over the Mane 6 to have been more "persuading", so it would've been harder to make, say, Rarity break out of the spell just by the sheer force of talking at her. But then again, this is magic, and it's not like Daybreak's specialty is empathizing with others.
#LovePoke'mon
This is great! I loved it.
Especially for somebody named after the most obnoxious character in almost all of Pokémon except for Ash Ketchup himself...
Okay, no. I'm not going to touch on that. Bad joke.
But anyways, while I'm thinking about it, do you think it would be really strange of me to cross MLP and Five Nights at Freddy's?
Man this was good
Spike, when something tells you to eat it, don't. D:
...Okay, but Daybreak's backstory is basically just Sunset's? c.c
Game over, I guess. :/ She's right about being the strongest sorceress in Equestria, which means if she doesn't have some secret physical or emotional weakness they can discover, there's no way to beat her. I hate villains like this.
Luna circumventing the dream traps makes me remember how disappointed I was that Daybreak didn't express any surprise at seeing her for the first time. I guess she just knows things about what's going on around her while in the gem?
Anyway, the main problem I'm having is that she's just not an interesting villain. They always say the best villains believe they're the hero; she's just powerhungry and able to back up her threats because reasons, I guess. :/
A gripping adventure from start to finish. Glad I finally read it.
This feels like a love letter to quite a few episode plots, particularly Spike and Rarity stuff. I didn't see anything technically wrong with the story, and the pacing just breezes by.
But the story itself is where I found some of the flaws. If I wanted something beyond simple, show-accurate fair that tips its hat to a lot of show-type things, I'd be a bit disappointed. What really seemed to hinder the story was your antagonist. She's in the same line as Sunset Shimmer, Starlight Glimmer, and she just... isn't any different from them. 'She's arrogant' is used as the main thing that makes her evil, and it just wasn't convincing, not like her power-hungry stuff. It just didn't really work? There's really nothing that all that sets her apart from any of the previous characters, and she really does feel like a Sunset-expy. That wouldn't have really been a major issue if she had more time to shine and bring something new to the table, I guess?
But she was also... extremely powerful for no reason? Nothing about her character and what was said and explained about her (she's a dead unicorn's spirit residing in a gem) makes sense to just how she would be able to do all these things and have her 15 minutes of fame on the Equestrian throne (which was really what she had compared to other villains). She's just a talented unicorn... and somehow all this happened? Here, it's just confusing, but still fits in with your story and how it nods to a lot of old fandom stuff, in the case of your villain, and show stuff, in terms of things like tone and Spike, etc. So, there's not really any worry about her being a Tempest Shadow... but she's still the biggest flaw in your story. With how things turned out, I'm wondering why you devised Daybreak instead of maybe just doing something really cool with more established artifacts that had a similar effect and could be used in a story that kept the same tone, length, and genre? Either way, I like your story and you get an upvote, but I really didn't like Daybreak.
Creative solution to that last problem. I just wonder how they're any more ready to fight Daybreak again.
Was kinda hoping they'd pull out Rainbow Power again, given how season 4 this is. :B
I wish there was a epilogue where spike can actually do magic because of what happened
7585761
There's different types of hot, you know. I would guess that lava is a wet heat, while the day was a dry heat. Or vice versa, I don't know which heat causes sweating.
10667864
Ignoring the fact that sweat glands are primarily a mammalian trait, they are activated by a combo of the hypothalamus registering that the body's core temperature is too hot and the areas of the skin registering that they are too hot. Secondly, the thermal conductivity of air actually DECREASES in higher humidity [at 62C from 0.0290 W/mK at 0% humidity to 0.0275 W/mK at 100% humidity] (aka it's harder for things to get hotter when there's more water in the air) , which is contradictory only because in order for sweat to cool you down, the water in it has to evaporate into the air, and the higher the humidity, the harder it is to do so, as well as the fact that lava transfers heat MUCH faster than even air's best case scenario [at 1200C it's 0.6 W/mK]