The bell above the door rang as the mare shrouded in the grey trench coat stepped in. She glanced around the tiny shop and found only Starlight Glimmer inside, seated behind a glass counter. The mare locked the door and flipped the OPEN sign around.
“Are you Starlight Glimmer? The mare that removes cutie marks for ponies?”
Starlight sat up on her stool. “Well, that is my name above the shop. Alongside my picture. And the store is called The Cutie Mark Removal Shop.”
The mare stomped across the room. “So this is completely confidential, right? This stays only between us?”
Starlight gave her a reassuring smile. “Absolutely. I only set up shop to help out individuals gifted with more unfortunate cutie marks. I promise that anything that happens here today will remain strictly between us.” She whistled to herself. “Must be one terrible cutie mark you got if you’re trying to keep it so secret.”
“And what do you do with the cutie marks? After they’re removed?”
“Throw them in the dumpster outside, of course,” Starlight replied matter-of-factly. “Always have to put the lid down, though. Ever since I opened, kids without cutie marks have been raiding my garbage bins.”
While Starlight spoke, the mare threw her trench coat to the floor. Only after she steeled herself did she show her backside to Starlight.
Leaning across the counter, Starlight studied her plot and asked, “What even is that? A rubber hose shooting ranch dressing onto some pony’s face?”
The mare’s face flushed. “Are you blind!? I think it’s pretty damn clear what this cutie mark is!”
“Let me grab my glasses.”
From underneath the counter, Starlight plucked out a pair of half-moon spectacles to wear. Then she eyed the cutie mark again.
“Sweet Celestia’s Equestria!” she exclaimed, holding a hoof to her chest. “Is that what I think it is?”
The mare nodded miserably. “See why I wanted to get it removed so badly?”
“So that rubber hose is actually a…”
“Yep.”
“Making that ranch dressing…”
“Yep.”
“And that pony’s face…”
The mare lowered her head. “Is my face.”
Starlight surprised them both by rushing around the counter and dragging a hoof across the mare’s rump. “And it’s real! I honestly thought this might’ve been a prank. It’s so detailed! The playful contrast between the darks and lights. I don’t think there’s a painting inside of Twilight’s entire castle that could match just how visually breathtaking this is.”
“Great. Could you please stop touching my butt?”
Starlight withdrew her hoof. “Only because you said please.” Her eyes never left the highly detailed cutie mark. “It’s just so lifelike. It’s like it’s coming right at me!”
The mare only glared at her.
Starlight smiled again. “Okay. Poor choice of words. But before we go any further, I do have to talk to you a bit.”
“About what?” the mare asked. “Can’t you just get rid of it? It’s revolting!”
“Well, of course, I can,” Starlight delicately explained, “but another part of my job is trying to convince ponies to actually keep their cutie marks.”
That was when the mare stared at Starlight so coldly she became momentarily worried that her head would cave in solely from the power of her thoughts.
“There is not a single thing you could say that would change my mind about this. It runs halfway down my legs for Celestia’s sake!”
“Okay. Valid point. Have you thought about wearing jeans around town?”
The mare raised a sharp brow. “You know how hard zippers are for Earth ponies? Half my life would be spent pulling up zippers.”
“Yoga pants?”
“Then I’d have to take yoga classes! I’m not signing up for that.”
The mare sighed out bitterly.
“This is just ridiculous. First I had to wait until I was already an adult to get my cutie mark and then it ends up like this!? I mean… I didn’t even have time to grab a towel before it happened. I just started floating in the air while this whimsical music started playing from out of nowhere and then this bright light appeared. I even thought for one terrifying moment a big musical number was about to break out. I mean… imagine if the whole town started singing about this? I’d have to move!”
Starlight shook her head. “Now no one’s leaving town. Not on my watch. How did your coltfriend handle all this, by the way? Based off the picture, I’m assuming he was in the room when this happened.”
Waving a hoof, the mare replied, “He has no idea about it. By the time it appeared, he was already passed out and drooling. He kept on muttering something about his grandma waving him toward a white light. Which is odd… considering his grandma’s been dead for years.”
“Holy guacamole!” Starlight chirped. “You really are good.”
“But that doesn’t mean I want everyone in Equestria knowing that!”
“True.” Jumping back behind the counter, Starlight removed a wooden staff from the wall to spin. “See this stick? It used to be my Stick of Sameness. Now it’s my Stick of Helpfulness! Like when I want to point at things! Or reach objects on the very top shelf!”
“Why wouldn’t you simply use your horn for stuff like that?” the mare asked, right before the Stick of Helpfulness whacked her atop the head.
“See how helpful it is? No more useless questions!” Starlight said with a half-sided grin. “Now let’s get cooking!”
A full fifteen minutes later and the cutie mark had been successfully removed, leaving Starlight panting and the other mare with visible tears of joy.
Starlight gave her a card on her way out. “This’ll get you ten percent off anything you might want at that tattoo parlor next door. Just tell ‘em Starlight sent you.”
The mare gave her a quick hug. “Thanks. I was heading there anyways—might get a star or something generic like that in place of an actual cutie mark. Then when ponies ask, I’ll tell them I like astrology or something.”
“Smart thinking,” Starlight replied, closing the door behind her. The mare’s cutie mark was still attached to her Stick of Helpfulness, so she threw it into the dumpster outside, placing a heavy cinderblock overtop the lid.
No way did she want any cutie mark-less foals discovering that image.
Oh my lord, Starlight is Rafiki with a stick! *Smack on the head* This was funny. 8/10 Derps
...Wow. That would be horrible.
Well, if you're looking for suggestions... what about a nice fat horseapple?
No, darling, it used to be the Staff of Sameness. Still call it the Stick of Helpfulness, though. Stick is funnier.
Also, I can't help but think you could make a lot of money selling a cutie mark like that to a mare with certain tastes. Heck, why stop there? You could change it from cutie mark removal to a full-on cutie mark exchange! One pony's junk is another pony's treasure, right?
Odd. Interesting. Kind of funny.
Although... if it works like in the show, the loss of the cutie mark means the loss of the talent which goes with it. As such, if she ever tries to perform her former talent again, it's never going to be as good as the time she got her cutie mark for it was.
7575467 Something tells me she's not worried about that
7575467
Who knows? That always struck me as a two-part spell: what I assumed was, she had to first remove the mark, which would restore the pony to 'blank flank' status. They'd still be themselves and still be able to do what they do, but they wouldn't have the mark to prove it. Then, she puts on the equals sign. At first I thought that being equal had become their destinies, but then we saw how the maker sort of 'flares' if they're acting too much like themselves. So, I figured it wasn't a real mark at all. It was actually the second part of the spell, limiting their behaviour, and it took the form of a replacement mark.
So, if that's correct, then Starlight would be capable of removing the original mark without installing the behaviour modifying equals mark.
Bricks. LOTS OF BRICKS. All hitting a pony's head.
THIS MUST BE A CUTIE MARK.
7575552 No, but the boyfriend might be disappointed about it.
7575564 That kind of makes sense.
7575420 I can just hope that pun was unintentional.
Very nice story, not really gross, since nothing was said straight. Still, funny.
But, yeah, she should store them and maybe give them to others. Maybe some other races would like these on their butts.
Glorious. Wonderful work, given the minimalist approach taken.
This was a well written scene that delivers exactly what it says on the tin.
Still, this feels so short and straightforward when all's said and done that it leaves me wanting more, but not necessarily in the best way. The concept of Starlight's business positively begs to be expanded upon. The tidbit about the coupon for the next door business was a tantalizing glimpse into a bigger role that Starlight's business plays in the world here.
If all we get here is the one-shot as presented, it will end up being a fun tip of a fascinating iceberg, but I'll be left wondering what the iceberg might've looked like.
Goofy and straight to the point.
I like it!
Unfortunately, she died within a week due to no longer being able to swallow.
You know, while this was funny and rather light hearted despite the imagery within, I can't help but think a certain mare from Estee's A Mark of Appeal would love the living fuck out of Starlight right about now.
7575467 Well given she was *that* good with the Mark, presumably she'll still be very good, just...less so?
Great story! Now write one about trying to tattoo a creature covered in fur.
7575420
Now... read that again, but keep in mind the topic of the cutie mark that was removed.
Idea: a heart with a lightning bolt through it. The filly in question has hospitalized her parents -- twice -- through sheer adorableness.
7576022 That's easy, it's called branding! but there's a right way and this wrong way.
boingboing.net/wp-content/uploads/2012/06/Branding_horse_kicked.gif
Pony with a shovel full of shit as a mark
Other marks
Troll face
Pedo bear
A hanging for a cutie mark. 'Nuff said.
Darn it, this could be a series! Because it's so good...
And because we have so many ideas for cutie marks. Like an evil villain who has a cutie mark for helping ponies.
She should also offer Mark hiding services for ponies who want to keep their tallent but don't want it to be public.
Well then.
Wonderful, it should really be a series
7576802
Like a secret agent with a cutie mark of a secret agent. Or an undercover with a cutie mark of a handcuff, or an illuminatus with a cutie mark of illuminati symbol.
The stick of helpfulness, heh, he-he. This was very amusing and lighthearted.
If you are going to continue this story, try a dead horse cutie mark.
apptractor.ru/wp-content/uploads/2015/10/dead-unicorn1.jpg
Edit: Just to be sure, by removing a cutie mark Starlight returns pony back to the state of blank flank, not the state of a miserable equality zombie?
If your cutie mark is removed, does that mean you can get a new one or if you repeated the circumstances of getting your original cutie mark, do you get the same one again? If so, then the unnamed pony needs to get careful, getting a tattoo and a cutie mark appearing afterwards would look odd or maybe the tattoo disappears. Regardless, Unnamed should avoid drinking ranch from a hose again.
Perhaps none other than this stallion.
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What a tragedy for a young filly becoming a mare. You'd think Destiny could have slapped a yellow rose or something on that poor thing instead.
7577588 i1.kym-cdn.com/entries/icons/original/000/017/204/CaptainAmerica1_zps8c295f96.JPG
You should make this into a series!
Cutie mark of a pinecone. Just imagine the possibilities! "A pinecone." "Yeah." So... What's your special talent?" "I don't know! Pinecones, I guess?!"
Bwahahahhahahahaha!!!
you my good author have earned a like and a follow for this. I wonder though...since she could give the equal sign cutie marks to ponies can she give ponies the cutie marks she takes from others?
A cutie mark that's just offensive to look at, a big blend of color that has no specified talent in it at all but is so horrendously ugly to look at that Rarity has a restraining order on them for the sake of her mental health.
Thus earning you the Captain Hairball seal of approval!
7577659
I totally agree. This is genius.
Since she seems to take away the entire talent and everything related to it with the cuttie mark does that mean the poor mare is rotten in bed and has very little sex drive now?
Heh, I can't read your stuff while talking to others. Once it sunk in what her mark was i just busted out laughing and freaked out my friends. Explaining why I was laughing sure was good though, especially since they rag on me for being a brony lol.
This could be a fun thing to jump to when you want something quick or just need to toss an idea. Nothing destroy's an OC like ripping off their cutie mark.
At least she wasn't born with the name and mark of Deepthroat Cockslut. So I don't see what she's complaining about!
*SPITTAKE*
What, is she related to Buck Cake?
OK I'm dead. You killed me.
Among other places!
This is glorious. This is genius. THIS MUST CONTINUE.
Scootaloo coming in with her canon cutie mark, wanting to take it off so she can get the thrill of getting a new one again, hopefully with wings so she could actually fly.
You know, I really like the premise, but I felt like it wasn't executed in the best way possible here. I know you wanted a comedy, but this was gold before it was funny, my friend. I honestly think that Starlight learning to help ponies with her power would be an amazing story idea, with the shop and all. It could be pretty awesome.
But I thought this was a little funny. It was kind of dry here and there, but I stuck through and am not disappointed.
A cutie mark for writing terrible fanfictions.
*shot*
A saddle. IMAGINE THE POSSIBILITIES!!!!!!!!
Damn, now we can't track her down...
7578565 Maybe it's and upgraded version of the spell.
The Stick of Helpfulness- A helpful staff helpfully used to help out helpless ponies who are helplessly unable to helpfully yelp for help and help themselves to help a helpful task that helpfully needs helpful help from helpful ponies helpfully nearby.
I wonder how Starlight feels having to encounter and remove weird cutie marks from pony's flanks once in a while? Must be pretty awkward, but it's an interesting way to use the cutie mark removal spell for good purposes.
A more serious take on the same idea is "A Mark Of Appeal" by Estee. I'd keep the Cutie Marks -maybe they could be recycled.