Just another brony on FIM, yep nothing to see here, well except for my story if you have time
Princess Aurora, who is a natural in Fire magic, has lived for 200 year with her mom Celestia. She didn't had the most exciting life except for some.... exception but it is about to change with 1000th Summer Celebration.
Perhaps a vacation is in order.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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How to make a crappy story:
1. Make a Mary Sue without any redeem-ability or likability.
2. Make said OC a sibling of a major character in the canon show.
And finally, Add that with poor grammar, punctuation and spelling, and you got what you call this travesty.
Uuuuuuuuuummmmmmmmmmm......... I won't lie to ya. Not the very best story. (Not that I can talk with the amount of word vomit I've spit out. -,.,-) but, with some tweaking this has a lot of potentional.
First of all the prose. I was actually pleasantly surprised with the writing. It was clear, offered enough details and personality that it wasn't dry and boring. The grammar while extremely shocking and bad is something that can be easily fixed by adding a lot of spaces where they are needed. I didn't notice any misspelled words so that's good.
Now onto the characters. Once again I'm not gonna lie to ya.., OC Alicorns that are Mary Sues... Just nope. So much nope. Buuuuuuuttttttt.... Take away the alicorn status. Her relationship with Crlestia and her immortality there's a massive amount of potentional for a good character.
The concept of the story itself is unique and something that also pleasantly surprised me. I love the idea of somepony following twilight around on her adventurers making sure she doesn't stuff things up. That's just something I'd love to see be explored more.
You have potentional as a good writer, you just need some pratice and guidance.
At the very least, you should add an alternate universe tag. And having an alicorn OC is something that can be done well, but only if it's done very, very carefully.