- Member Since 30th May, 2016
- offline last seen Dec 6th, 2018
TheDisplacerOfEquestrias
As you can see, my name is above me, but you can call me Displace, for short. Anyway, I am looking for writers to help me out with my stories. Also, Hamster_Master, you are not permitted to be here.
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I withhold my judgement on this story for now. It looks promising but lacks something important, backstory. I'll explain after I've read the second chapter.
I somewhat redact my previous comment. There's still more that this story needs. Plus, the Rainbow Factory, seriously
? What's up with the six, Luna, and Queen Chrysalis being there. This all needs some explanation. Other than that, it's a good story. It isn't enough to be put in my library but still good. 2.3 stars.
7994566
Allow for me to explain it here.
The backstory is three and a half years ago. Lord Metarex, formerly Metal Sonic 3.0, or M.S.3.0, for short, is working with his brother, Turbo Mecha Sonic, or T.M.S., for short, and his other colleagues (Dimentio and Israphel, who are actually introduced in The Newest Displacer during the Prophecy chapter) to keep their leader, LSB, from shutting down their Multiverse Portal, their only way to travel the Multiverse besides Subspace Travel, which is to only be used in an emergency. However, when they confront him, LSB aims his Subspace gun towards M.S.3.0 and fired his gun, but, before it could do severe damage, T.M.S. pushes him out of the way and into the powering-off Multiverse Portal, before the portal shuts down. This snaps LSB out of his state and he begins to realize the massive mistake he made. Dimentio and Israphel, along with LSB's wife, who I will not state the name of, then proceed to berate LSB for it, as T.M.S. tries to turn it back on. It took 3 months, but they succeeded.
However, for M.S.3.0, it was 3 years, and in that time, he's become King Neo Metal Sonic 3.0 (King N.M.S.3.0, for short) and eventually Lord Metarex. In that time, he's become the King of the Everfree and the King of his own empire, the Dark Sun Empire, an Empire DEDICATED to overthrowing Celestia for the good of not only Equestria, but all of Equis. After the forming of his empire, he had found his former friends, the Mane Six, and had captured them, including his former wife, Fluttershy, who he taught everything he was able to do to her, including how to fight, how to protect herself, etc. After telling them of what Celestia did, they joined his cause, as did Chrysalis, who Lord Metarex had contacted immediately after the forming of the empire. Luna, however, was brought to his side after finding her in Appleloosa.
With the help of them and his Everfree Army, led by his two Generals, General Iron Thorn and General Dark Oak (Yes, THE Dark Oak. If you know who he is, that is), he went to war with Celestia and won. And the reason why it's the Rainbow Factory is because I couldn't think of a more painful punishment for her. To be drained of one's blood for all eternity, while their blood is limitless, cursed to never run dry or run out through dark magic. That, and some point in time, Lord Metarex invaded the Rainbow Factory and destroyed it, only to rebuild the Factory and the machine used to drain ponies of their blood, making him the head of the Factory, which was originally an annoyance for him, only to quickly become of use to his plans.
And originally, Lord Metarex did not want to rule Equestria, he wanted Chrysalis to do so, as they made a deal beforehand.
7994690
...okay, let this be a lesson. ALWAYS put important info like this in the story itself in some form.
8369146
*reads the series of comments leading to this one*
I agree.
7994690
You should have a prequel with all of this explained in it or something like a personal journal of his.