Twilight goes around Ponyville in a attempt to make more friends. How will Twilight deal with some of the more eccentric ponies that have always been in the background?
In the middle of changes...
Chapters (1)
Brony Eagle Scout
Joined 3rd Jun, 2012 ·
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I loved it actually. I enjoyed the ways the characters acted and how you played it out. Good Job!
For a first attempt i'd say it's good.
sure i could find a few sentences that needs to be restructured, some grammar issues here and there, but not that many, and i was trying to enjoy the read, not look for errors.
One thing that bothered me was that one or two parts could need a bit more description, and strangely enough, some parts needed more dialogue.
Strange...
Shove this under a editor/proofreader's nose and have them look over it, it might just be me though, i tend to nitpick.
But other then that.
Interesting concept, decent/solid writing, and one huge + on mentioning that Twilight does have a beautiful singing voice.
Edit: forgot, Thumb'd up, tracked and all that good stuff, I'm jumping on this train.
*Takes a seat right up front* I'm so in this...
Fantastic fic! I'm not so nitpicky, but it would be SO much easier to read if you fixed the grammatical errors.
I also loved the addition of Vinyl and Octavia. You also have some cool connections to the show. Good work! I hope to see more.
I enjoyed it, but was put off by the shortness of the chapter, however I really love it seeing how it's a concept I've wanted to do for a while! Faved and thumbed up cause its awsome and so are you!
Thank you all for the mention of all the grammatical errors. I never expected such positive feedback
865879
It's good that you nitpick, that means I can try and fix it.
865831 865948 Thank you
865955
I guess this means I need to find an editor. Thank you
866047
I wanted it to be short to avoid me going on a tangent of randomness. Thank you
Can't wait to see more! Now to go fix my like button...
Looks interesting! I'll be following with rapt attention. :)
didn't know ponies drink lol, good story. i might just continue reading when the next chapter comes out
Okay, I'm in.
Some errors, of course everypony's mentioned something about it. Grammars mostly, but the story line is excellent. Try to separate the sentences once a different pony speaks, so then everypony will know who says what. Thumbs up and ready for the next chapter
Okay, I couldn't get past the first two paragraphs (I mean I literally haven't yet read past the first two paragraphs) before I had to ask this question. Just what in tarnation is "a bowl of Trixie's?" Is that some sort of flower petal, or has Trixie gotten so big that she has her own breakfast cereal?