• Published 7th Mar 2017
  • 584 Views, 15 Comments

Tell Me Sweet Apple Lies - Cinder Vel



Sweet Apple Acres, the home of the Apple family but also a home of apple secrets. For as long as anypony could remember, apples have been fresh and ready for harvest. Neither the cold of winter or heat of summer would prevent apples from being ripe.

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And then there were more Apples

Applejack was waving as two ponies were leaving her farm. She was a bit worried about Carrot but AJ knew the best cure for blues was a good friend and Carrot was being taken care off. She kept waving until she was sure the two were far enough and then she slipped quietly into the barn where her brother Big Mac was waiting for her.

Big Mac gave her an inquisitive look and AJ replied, “Yep, just as you said, Carrot was on the farm. Caught her and Berry Punch snooping around the barn like two foxes trying to get into a chicken coop. Now Ah know what you are thinking and don’t worry they don’t suspect nothin’.”

Applejack then placed her hoof on the chin and wondered loudly, “Although maybe Carrot was actually here looking at you and your big and strong body. Ah’m sure Granny Smith will be happy to hear that she will be seein’ grandfoal soon. And Apple Bloom will no longer be the youngest.”

Big Mac’s jaw dropped so hard that he nearly lost the balance and his pride. But most importantly the apples were safe, the apples were fresh and that was all that mattered.

Applejack laughed, “Oh relax, we ain’t gonna force ya to marry. Now back to business. Is our special friend here?”

Big Mac gave a disproving look to Applejack but then he simply said,“Eyup”.

Applejack walked deeper into the barn and took a seat at the negotiation table. A tradition old as the Apple clan itself was about to start. Applejack took her hat of, raised an eyebrow and spoke to the other party, “Now mister Seabreeze let’s talk about next apple season. Ah believe the standard agreement is still valid.”

Tiny breezie slightly raised his head and spoke back, "Ie, y cytundeb yn dal."

Comments ( 11 )

Fantastic story! The comedy was the best part- everything was spot on :rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh:

Gonna give you a like, follow and favorite this. Keep it up!

8004664
I wasn't sure what would others think about that but glad you finding fitting. And aye t'is TV Scottish.

8004674
Thanks, real glad to hear it.

Great ending :ajsmug:
Enjoyable lighthearted story, brightened up my gloomy morning. Thank you for that. I really like the idea behind this, surely those ever-ripe apples are peculiar.
Be aware that Berry lost her accent at a few places. Also, try to use more commas (,), there are many sentences that would deserve one :raritywink:

8015029 Glad to be of service, that was my main priority. Though I actually dislike the ending because it is not that funny and makes my ass sore because of the pull I did.

I will keep in mind to be more careful with accents in the future. And yes commas my old enemies along with unnecessary long sentences that would be more logical if they were separated.

Thanks for taking your time and commenting. Have a good one.

8015128 Could have been a little more explained, but I reckon it works.
Long sentences and punctuation, classic. The more you read and write, the better you get in them, trust me.
You're welcome!

love this story :pinkiehappy: have a uppvote :twilightsmile:

The ending was... peculiar. But it was light-hearted, which matched the tone that was set within the story quite nicely.

Accents and apostrophes(') are the main thing. That I would suggest...

I reviewed this ages ago but forgot to notify you here. Sorry. I love the title and felt this could have been a very funny slapstick comedy. Unfortunately it didn't really do much with that and Berry Punch's accent drove me up the pole. The Welsh last line isn't going to work for 99% of your readers, and there are quite a few technical errors. I guess this is just a case of "first fic; things got better from here" -- as I know they did in your case.

10186296
In hindsight I don't even consider this to be a story, more like a single scene with a really unnecessary ending. It's not something I want people to read, but it is still important to me personally.

All in all thanks for the review.

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