TICK TOCK went the sound of the ornate clock on the wall of Rich Mansion. You'd think with nine ponies, including the most irrepressible funster to ever dwell in the hamlet they'd be a little more clamour, but the air was staler than the old biscuits that were now being distributed around by an agitated maid, who could only stare in bafflement as a certain baby dragon inquired "Have you got any Gem Crackers, please?"
"That'll be all, Feather Duster..." Filthy Rich had absolutely no idea for the logic behind this impromptu visit from some of Ponyville's most notable residents, but he was quite convinced that it must be of the highest importance. The earnest solemnity running throughout the distinguished party would be palpable to even the most cloth-eared of observers, and princesses don't tend to make random cross-town trips on a dreary afternoon for no good reason.
As soon as the large double-doors to the study were closed by his curtsying servant, Filthy Rich decided that this nonsensical game of 'who among us will talk first' had run for long enough, and that he didn't mind being the loser. "Now then, Princess Twi..."
"Just 'Twilight Sparkle' or plain 'Twilight' is fine thank you, Mr Rich." The unpretentious alicorn was quick to remind their ailing host that such formalities were not necessary.
"E-Er, okay then, T-Twilight." Filthy loosened his tie a little, as the pressure in the room began to get to him. He was missing those astronomically high bills already. "N-Now, you said you had something urgent to discuss with me and my ladywife. Well, we're here now, so if you'd be so kind as to tell us..."
"You didn't by any chance spot my errant miscreant of a daughter pass by on your journey here, did you, Princess?" Spoiled Rich was in typical fine form as usual. "I buy her a nice new dress for the upcoming gala, and she reacts like I'm trying to garnish her in rags! Honestly, I don't know what's got into that child of late. She used to be so compliant, so well-trained, but then she got a bunch of hair-brained ideas about 'friendship' and 'independence' rammed into her fragile mind. I don't suppose, as a member of the royal family, you have the ability to arrest those responsible for this gross subversion of her old personality? Because I can tell you where you can find associates of the main culprits, right here."
Spoiled Rich was of course, referring to Rarity and Applejack when she laid out this spurious claim, as their two little sisters were, from the pompous mare's perspective, a couple of the main instigators behind her now 'out-of-control' daughter's year-long rebellion against her old parenting techniques of coercion and manipulation.
"Now, just a minute you..." "What did you just say?!" Rarity and Applejack respectively were not best pleased at having their siblings objectified for the 'terrible' crime of making Diamond see the error of her ways, and Twilight audibly groaned. The atmosphere was on a knife-edge as it was, she didn't need things to degenerate into an all-out shouting match between the trio, as was previously demonstrated on the rare occasions their paths crossed, usually on market day.
"Look, I didn't come here today to discuss the ongoing feud between you three about your daughter's temperament, Mrs Rich..." Twilight was careful not give too much away when she said the 'd' word there, now she knew the truth. "This is about an even more critical matter. So, can we..."
"What could be more 'critical' than seeking redress for my poor, impressionable filly's gratuitous brainwashing..." Spoiled acted out the role of the tragic heroine with great professionalism, even getting the 'oppressed' pose just right. "The amount of therapy it's going to take to restore my darling to her old self is going to cost an absolute fortune. Filthy, didn't you say earlier that we might have to remove the koi pond from our garden if our spending isn't dramatically decreased? Oh, what price can you put on justice these days, because we have been truly wronged..."
"D-Dear, perhaps it would be best if we listened to Pri- Twilight for a moment..." Filthy Rich was far too timid a stallion to inform his wife of who was by far and away the mistress of superfluity around those parts. "I-I think she has something she wants to..."
"Oh, trust you to take her side, over mine..." Spoiled abruptly turned to rain fire onto her husband, confident she could intimidate him into submission as usual. "That child would have no idea how to act in decent company, if it wasn't for my teachings. I mean, just look at your idea. A day out at 'Barnyard Bargains'? Seeing how the commoners intermingle?! Please! How's that supposed to..."
"Mrs Spoiled Milk Rich! I am not going to ask you again!! We are extremely lucky to have the princess and her friends as guests, and if you can't see what a fool you're making of yourself by carrying on the way you are, then I'm going to tell you to your face! So please, for once in your life, could you give us all a bit of peace and let us hear what they came all the way out here to say. Thank you!!"
Apparently, what they say is true, everypony has a breaking point. A moment where even the most meek and mild of ponies reaches an epiphany that nothing is going to get better unless they put their hoof down and take control of the situation. Fluttershy had one once (although, she took her revelation to somewhat ridiculous extremities) and now Filthy had apparently arrived at his absolute limit.
His distinctly out-of-character rant at his now somewhat subdued wife provoked a variety of reactions from the spectators present. Some, like the aforementioned Fluttershy, went to tremble behind a silken cushion, whereas others like Applejack gave her business partner a firm nod of solidarity in standing up for himself at long last. The only one who didn't seem to care was Spike, who was too busy trying to placate his rumbling tummy while wondering if the Rich's had a secret jewel storage closet he could raid. He'd pay them all back, of course. He must be owed, about what... six years worth of backpay?
"Sorry you had to witness that, Twilight..." Filthy slumped down in his chair, completely drained. The energy expended there in his no-holds barred verbal takedown of his wife had been considerable, and he dreaded to think of what maniacal punishment Spoiled would devise later on for him daring to go off-script with such an unprecedented display of bravado.
"S-So anyway, let's start things off shall we?" Twilight tried to move things on from the little domestic, now with her eyes firmly focused on a seething Spoiled. "Mrs Rich. When you've quite recovered, I'd like to ask you a question..."
"Ask my husband, apparently he speaks for both of us now..." was Spoiled's whispered, chastened response.
"Sorry, I didn't quite catch that..." Twilight was beginning to wonder if she was ever going to get home before Luna's moon rose, at the snail's pace everything was unfolding.
"I said, just ask. I'm not entitled to have an opinion, so I may as well contribute to this farce by doing as I'm told... if that's okay with you, dear?" Spoiled shot a telling look at her husband, who fortunately was so weakened by his recent exertions that he wasn't daunted by her tranquil fury for once.
"Okay, well this won't take very long... well,long-er... " Twilight seized on the opportunity to finally finish one blessed sentence. "All I really want to know is, Mrs Rich, do you recognise this mare?"
Spoiled rolled her eyes at Twilight's simplistic question. "Really dear... is that the sole reason you disturbed me in the middle of my beauty regime, an identity parade? Do I win a prize, if I get the answer right? Go on then, show me this 'mysterious' pony, and then we can all go back t-to..."
Upon being introduced to Starlight Glimmer's visage properly for the first time since her arrival, Spoiled's priggish demeanor changed from snobbish superiority to incoherent lethargy in an instant. "I-It's...y-you... n-no... n-not p-possible..."
Starlight had been keeping quite a low profile up until now, seated purposefully towards the back of the room, splashing little droplets everywhere with her coffee mug in a lightly shaking hoof. But now the grip seemed firmer, the floor was dryer as she'd observed her 'nice' benefactor's behaviour over the course of the meeting, and her account of how she'd treated the precious foal the unicorn had entrusted the wealthy mare with, her face had become ever more ashen.
Meanwhile, Spoiled, in her comprehensive scruntinising of this unwelcome 'blast from the past', had spotted something which had apparently calmed her nerves a little, causing her to release a huge sigh of relief. "...Hang on, I was wrong. It isn't you. For a start, the cutie mark is all wrong..."
"If you're talking about the equals sign, that was a fake symbol put there to fool unsuspecting ponies to indoctrinate them in my old beliefs..." Starlight muttered, with her eyes narrowed. "I am, to all intents and purposes the same unicorn you took the foal off of in Manehattan. Only a little older and wiser, for now I see all this talk of my child going to a good home was nothing but fiction. I mean, you are wealthy as you said, and your husband seems nice, but you... you..."
"I-I can't believe you dredged up this fruitcake from my past. How can you possibly believe a word she says, after she even lied about her cutie mark?" Spoiled, clearly rattled now, was trying to use what little information she possessed of Starlight to get herself out of this incredibly tight situation. "She's a cult member, you know. Believes in stripping all ponies of their cutie marks, because of some weird notion about equality, or something. Absolutely off her rocker. Send her for a psychiatric evaluation, not onto the doorstep of a respectable establishment such as this..."
Starlight paled slightly upon hearing these all-too-true allegations about her less-than-salubrious past, leaving it up to Twilight to speak in her defense. "Ms Glimmer is a completely reformed mare these days, Mrs Rich, so I'd kindly ask you not to bring up a history that she's since made amends for ten times over. She helped save the Crystal Empire from complete annihilation you know, as well as stopped the entire pony kingdom be ruled by a gang of changeling imposters..."
"Absolute tosh and poppycock!" Spoiled sniffed, clearly unimpressed. "That'll be just another one in a whole procession of lies. I suppose she also mentioned that Yakyakisthan is quite warm this time of year, or that the Ponytones have one drop of musical talent. She's a fraud, princess. You've been conned. Now, if you'll all leave without a fuss this very minute, I'll try and make sure this stays out of the media..."
"It's funny, you know..." Starlight spoke as soon as Spoiled had finished her little tirade. "I was just thinking how much you've changed in the years since we met too, and not just in terms of cutie marks. Your attitude seems to be much more haughty and deceitful than the 'grieving mother' I saw in the city that day, and as for your nose, exactly how long have you been sticking it in the air for it to look like that..."
"W-why you... I've never been so insulted in all my life!" Spoiled replied with utter outrage, while adapting exactly the same mannerism as the unicorn claimed with her extended proboscis.
"Well, that's your fault then, 'darling'..." Starlight had clearly had it up to here with her hostess's dire attitude. "You should get out more."
"Are you just going to sit there like a useless brown lump, and let her disrespect me like this?!" Spoiled desperately turned to her husband for assistance. "If you throw these deluded interlopers out, I may be able to overlook your earlier gross indiscretion towards me, and you'll still be allowed to buy that shiny new set of gold clubs you wanted tomorrow, after I've factored in my clothing budget, of course." She added that last part as a little incentive, knowing full well there would be precisely bupkis remaining after she'd thoroughly refurbished herself with gaudy outfits destined to be worn just the once.
Starlight was about to reply with a clever anecdote about how the older mare needed to learn how to 'respect' others first, before she was entitled to the same treatment, but it was never to be heard. For, at that exact moment, the doors to the room swung wide open to reveal a very concerned-looking pink filly, and an extremely apologetic maid standing alongside her.
"I-I'm so sorry, Mr and Mrs Rich. S-She heard her father shouting, and came galloping over. I-I tried to stop her, b-but..." Feather Duster stared down in at the floor that she'd cleaned just that morning ruefully. She hoped that the dole queue wasn't beckoning her name tomorrow... it was so hard to get good work these days.
"So it is true, the Princess and her friends were coming this way, after all. I had to come back to collect my tiara that dropped off while running away from mother, and now I find this going on..." Diamond Tiara entered the room tentatively, while glancing all around with unease. "I-I haven't done anything wrong, honest. I-I'm trying to be a good filly these days, just ask Silver Spoon. Whatever happened, it was probably Snips Or Snails..."
"We believe you sweetheart, and no, they're not here regarding you, at all..." Filthy patted his lap lovingly, and Diamond wasted no time in bounding over there. "In fact, I'm not even sure why they showed up today, because there's been so many interruptions. Grown-ups can be very silly when we all get together, petal. Now, how about we get to the point, Twilight, and no more distractions, please? I have to make the final arrangements for a big deal this evening, that could make or break my company..."
"W-Well..." Twilight stammered, unsure how to proceed with the discussion. She did want to clarify things quickly for the sake of everypony's sanity, but it had been a lot trickier than she'd initially thought with all the outside interference. Plus, there was the added presence of Diamond Tiara in the room now, and obviously something would have to be done for the innocent filly to be excused from this potentially awkward conversation. She turned to her friends for guidance...
...Just in time to see Starlight's horn flare up and Diamond's body levitate as she was about to hop onto Filthy Rich's lap. The two events were connected, evidently. The stunned filly floated a little way to find herself in the warm embrace of the unicorn, as she told the younger pony tenderly: "Oh, my precious child! I'm so sorry about putting you in a home with an abusive mother like this, who almost turned you into another version of my old self! Fear not, because now that I'm back in your life, I'll do all I can to protect you all from harm. Even if that means..."
"WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS?!" Few things sparked Filthy's ire than seeing his daughter ponyhandled in this informal manner, especially by an individual who was little more than a stranger to the wealthy stallion. He quickly leaped off his chair, and engaged Starlight in a bizarre tug-of-war using an exasperated Diamond Tiara as the rope.
With a blithering maid nearby who wouldn't stop saying 'sorry' over and over again, Spoiled Rich looking like she was about to have a cardiac arrest, most of her friends cheering on different sides in the sudden sporting event which had erupted in the room, and Pinkie Pie wanting to know if there were any more biscuits...
Princess Twilight began to develop a newfound appreciation for Celestia's tough job over hundreds of years, and started to wonder if a pointier new horn and wings were worth having to sort this ever-growing mess out.
so it comes down to how the law views things, I mean technicaly starlight gave diamond up, however... I could see spoiled rich being an unfit mother legaly.
I can imagine Twilight just sitting there with a perfectly deadpan face, while her friends look around in confusion and/or worry at the absolute and utter chaos that just erupted around them. Being immune to chaos might actually be a requirement for being a Princess.
…It feels like Discord is gonna pop in at any moment.
oooooooh. nice chapter! Confrontation.
P.S. Hawk eyes i got mate. (^-^)
Whoot another update, and the plot thickens. I'm not sure if I enjoyed this as much as the first chapter honestly. I like the idea of Spoiled being an unfit mother and as such action having to be taken, or tension between her and Starlight but this felt very heavy handed.
Some of the dialogue was a bit, much honestly. From Spoiled and Filthy it was fine, though I'm not sure he'd be THAT timid, then again Spoiled has to get away with her nonsense somehow. AJ and Rarity I'm not sure if they would blow off the handle that much, but again I can see them teetering on the edge at least so it isn't a big push. However, from Starlight and Twilight it was very, meh I feel. Twilight is polite but I don't think she would ever refer to Starlight as Ms Glimmer, and she does have a friendly, casual and upbeat tone to just about anything. Basically for a princess she's very informal.
Starlight, I write a lot so she's close to my heart. First chapter I thought you were good, giving her a sort of distant clinical approach to the whole thing. It was basically a different life for her that she's trying to put behind her so it makes sense. However, I just can't really see her having an outburst like that, picking Diamond up and wrenching her away from Filthy. Starlight is a pretty impulsive pony but she is also very hesitant about a lot of things and tends to shy away from anything she might mess up. I don't think the situation is anywhere near dire enough for her to do something like that. Even then she would most likely blow up at Spoiled if anything and Twilight would probably have to force her off. I think things happened too fast here. First chapter was snappy but not uncomfortably so, I think this one just put on the throttle a bit too much.
I really liked the ending with Twilight, Filthy Rich's blow up and his interactions with Diamond. There were a lot of positives but I just feel like there were a lot of iffy parts too. Sorry if this doesn't help or anything I just like to be honest. I'm still invested and everything. Keep up the good stuff and have a nice day!
Darn...I really wish I could write like this. I would love to be able to write a completely despicable Spoiled Rich like this. What a horrible character.
Love this chapter, please keep going!
8014025 I doubt their deal was legal in the slightest.
8014066 I think my idea was for Starlight to see giving up Diamond Tiara to an unsolicited mare (e.g Spoiled) as one of her past mistakes, and one she's desperate to make amends for like her time as a 'cult leader' or almost destroying the world. It was an error elevated when she heard how Diamond had almost grown up into an 'evil' pony like Starlight herself used to be, because of the abuse from her not-exactly qualified new mother. Now, she feels even more guilty at handing over her child to a perfect stranger, so I don't think her 'blowing up' like that was against her character really, in the circumstances.
The more she heard of the kind of treatment DT was subjected to the more desperate she felt, and though her actions might have been a bit irrational, the pressure cooker atmosphere and the lies upon lies heaped by Spoiled onto Starlight questioning every aspect of her character I think finally had their toll, hence the big meltdown now.
Anyway, wouldn't it be boring if we all wrote Starlight the same way? Character interpretation (as long as it isn't too OOC) is one of the bedrocks of fanfiction, and long may it continue.
I think if anypony insulted your siblings in front of you, you'd be pretty upset too, and I'd say Twilight referring to Starlight as Ms Glimmer shows that Twi is trying to connect to Spoiled on her naturally forced formal level... e.g, calling Twilight 'Princess' even after she insists that Spoiled doesn't use her title in conversation.
Anyway, thanks for your comment. Ciao!
Well that tug o' war just jumped this puppy from Tracking to Faves. Let's see how this goes!
8014025 That'll be elaborated on in the next chapter...
8014032 Nah. I reckon this situation is going to be resolved in a far more conventional fashion than anything Discord could conjure up. Sorry to disappoint.
8014037 Well, that's what events were inevitably leading towards. Thanks.
8014070 She might not be COMPLETELY despicable (and it's not like the show itself gives us much else to work with in terms of positives), but there's not many redeeming features so far, to be sure. More soon!
8014110 Cheers, me dears!
8014099 Ah, that makes a little more sense. I'm still not sure if it would elicit such a reaction but I do see where you're coming from. Again, I think she would either blow up at Spoiled, or even herself, rather than wrench Diamond away. However, if it was a meltdown then that could be interesting in and of itself. Something that came completely out of left field, even for the character performing the action. Otherwise I feel you would have to have a little line explaining what Starlight was thinking at the time. Unless it's blatantly obvious, or coming out of left field I feel you could benefit from a little sentence or so explaining what's going on in the characters head. For an example of that scene something like...
"Every word Starlight heard uttered out of the twisted mare's mouth pushed her forward. It had been her mistake to give her unborn foal, her daughter, away to this vile pony. She would not stand idly by any longer."
Something like that, though probably a lot better written. I admit I'm not sure how well it would meld with your writing style but if you could pull off the transition I think it would really help your narrative. It would leave nothing to chance and prevent confusion or misinterpretation. I dunno, take it with a grain of salt if you wish that's just my suggestion. Sorry if it wasn't helpful.
...Why do I get this terrible feeling Filthy somehow doesn't know Diamond's adopted?
8014143 You mean, like this paragraph here:
I'd say that was a pretty clear indication things were about to escalate. It wasn't a 'meltdown' in terms of Starlight completely blowing her top, more like 'I can't believe I left my flesh and blood in the hooves of this horrible mare who mistreated her and almost corrupted her beyond redemption, now I have to make up for my gross error of judgement when I was still young and naive.' So instead of being angry, she just became very clingy.
Also, don't forget... this is the first time mother and daughter have been reunited for almost a decade, so she was always going to be a bit OTT in her affections (also factor in that Starlight isn't the best at social norms right now), even though Diamond doesn't understand the significance of that moment just yet...
Also, don't worry... I appreciative any comment positive or negative, as long I have the ability to respond people can say whatever they like. I never delete comments, and thrive on debate. So, bring it on.
I'd hafta say that this will become a custody battle in the future.
Starlight... what have you been told about being impulsive?
8014155 Cause Spoiled is a bitch and thought Filthy would leave her if he found out about her miscarriage, so of course she lied. Since sometimes foals have wildly different coloration that their parents (see Pinkie) how would he have suspected?
media.giphy.com/media/ULyYV5amK2eYM/giphy.gif
8014155 Hmm... Not exactly an unfair conclusion to reach, I'd say...
8014175 Mebbe... Mebbe not. Wait and see.
8014182 EXACTLY! This is one of her 'flaws' (as demonstrated in Every Little Thing She Does Is Magic) that I wanted to demonstrate, and it all came to a head at the end of this chapter. It was also exacerbated by the situation she was in, hence why everything ended up in a bit of a mess the way it did. Thanks for noticing...
So, how often do you plan to release chapters? BTW, did Spike leave to get something to eat yet? Are we going to hear Twilight's version of the Royal Canterlot Voice?
: What else can go wrong?
: Starlight?! Your Great and Pow-- Hey! Get away from Trixie's best friend!!
: MURPHY!!
s1.postimg.org/77kkmcdhr/temp.jpg
8014184 More on that in the next chapter...
8014188 It sure did.
8014224 HEY FIMFICTION! WE NEED A STARLIGHT GLIMMER EMOJI! GET ON IT!! Oh, and in answer to your question, whenever I can find the time to write. At the weekend, this isn't a problem.
8014229 I like Diamond Tiara as much as Squidward likes Krabby Patties. There's ya answer.
8014165 Essentially but it came at the wrong time. That would be what prompted her to speak up. You'd need something else after Diamond came in. Like Starlight reacting to Diamond coming in or reaching her boiling point. What you wrote was the start, but wasn't strong enough to really justify her going over the edge like that. It was what brought her out of her shell and made her stand up to Spoiled but what happened with Diamond would need a separate reaction. In short, too much happened between that line and her meltdown without any escalation. She was talking to Spoiled, but was still very much in control as you stated she was about to respond with another "clever anecdote."
Mmm, I'm not sure about that. Given the detached nature of how she gave up Diamond I'm not sure she would feel affection. Maybe, and I'm open to be swayed but honestly I'm not sure just seeing Diamond would cause much reaction. They've never bonded. All Starlight has is a brief memory and a regret. I'm waiting to see where you go with this, I just feel the initial showing was a little heavy handed.
Debates are fun, I just suck at articulating myself. Oh, I do have to give you credit, and a positive for how delightfully despicable you make Spoiled in this. I imagine she'll change as the course of the story wears on but right now I'm enjoying how twisted and manipulative she is. Almost like a certain unicorn used to be. The means justify the ends and all that jazz. I'm looking forward to your next correspondence, and chapter.
8014236 8014224 Yes! We totally need a Starlight Glimmer emoji! I would use it always! Gimme Gimme Gimme!
8014128
Aww. Discord's gonna have to find something else to do, then.
8014279 In my interpretation of events, I think Starlight was so stunned at seeing how Diamond turned out after ten years that she let her emotions override common sense and just went for broke. I also utilised the old 'show don't tell' scenario for the reader to decide what was going through Starlight's mind at the time. Again, as with many things, her emotions will be elaborated on further in the next chapter.
It's funny how differently people react to things... I find what are classified as some of the greatest films ever as a bit 'heavy handed', and I enjoy some movies that are generally seen as schlock. I understand why you feel so emotionally attached... Starlight is your favourite character, and if I read a fic where I didn't think Diamond Tiara was being portrayed right I'd be the first to kick up a storm too. We just have to come to terms with our different perspectives, and read a common ground. Oh, and try and enjoy the story too, of course.
Thanks for the comment... look forward to the next one already.
Well Twilight and the others are off to a very good start in breaking the news.
Dear Princess Celestia.
Can I start over somewhere else, please? Like YakYakistan?
Your student,
Twilight Sparkle
P.S. Without leaving a forwarding address, please.
8014282 If you take the 'l' and 'r' out of Glimmer, it spells Gimme. Just thought I'd mention that...
8014294 Perhaps he could try chess, instead? I dunno... he looks like he'd be a good chess player...
8014314 ...And they haven't even got to the 'breaking the news' part yet!
8014317 Sounds like something that might appear in This fic.
8014237 Well, with Diamond freakin' Tiara as your cover, I'm not that surprised.
8014330 Freakin', eh... Nah, I still say Dazzle works better as a middle name...
8014332 Yeah, I suppose so.
8014297 Understandable. I dunno, show don't tell has always been a weird one for me to deal with sometimes. I get the principle and all but in practise I'm never quite sure what constitutes as showing and what constitutes as telling. Idk my writing style is just...weird. I never quite know how to describe it but that kind of thing I showed you, I basically do before most big actions. I like to show what the character is thinking as they do things. But I fully admit that isn't for everybody. I trust your ability to explain everything in the next chapter. That's the one snag with releasing chapter by chapter. You know what's going on, but the reader has to have a certain amount of trust in you as a writer because they can't always just turn the page and go "Aaaaah"
Yeah, everyone has their own interpretation. That's understandable, and fun. It brings a multi faceted character better into light when more people try to portray them. In the end, only the creators really know how she'd react in this situation. We just have to guess, and as long as its a good guess I don't see any problems with it. I guess my only real grievance with things is that things went from 0-11 too quickly for me personally. Then again, that isn't exactly out of character for the crazy unicorn.
Also yeah, I write way too much Starlight and might be a little over the top with my opinions on her. My bad. I'm still enjoying the story, I'd just feel remiss if I didn't bring up these points. I'd want someone to bring similar stuff up with me so the old "Do to others as you would want done to yourself" comes into play. Kind of.
Gimme more Glimmer! :P Something like that? I feel there's a joke with leaving out L and R but I can't think of it right now. Look to the left, look to the Right and Gimme more Glimmmer?! Nah that sucked. Hehehe.
8014229 I think I need new barrel struts, because I have cracked my old ones with laughter.
8014099 when does starlight EVER! talk like this?
8014453 When she's under a great deal of emotional stress after hearing about how her child has been coerced and abused over a period of 10 years, and after seeing her for the first time in ages? Sometimes, I don't talk like 'myself' when I'm in a bit of a state...
8014464 she sounds more like rarity or old Luna to me for some reason. And not in a good way. I'm pretty sure people are fine with this but I can't explain but it just annoys me.
GrandGlim strikes!
8014469 She doesn't know how to talk to fillies I'd say, hence her slightly condescending language. I'd don't think Diamond would approve either, which makes the whole scene even more uncomfortable...
8014478 I under spoiled is a bitch, but couldn't Starlight said that in way where it isn't kinda creepy?
8014481 Well, that was kinda the point... Diamond IS creeped out by this strange mare who's suddenly grabbed her for no apparent reason, and is speaking to her as though she's still a foal. I wanted the scene to be mildly unsettling, hopefully I pulled it off.
8014486 well then you've succeeded. I will admit that filthy snapping was probably my favorite part. Also I want to facepalm so bad after seeing spoiled act that way Infront of the greatest heros in Equestria
8014493 Ha, you ought to read my other fic A Mother's Love there's lots of that, and more besides...
This is gonna get ugly, fast! Should've guessed Spoiled never told Filthy anything, shows how little fate she must've had in her husband if she thought he'd dump her for a miscarriage or spread the word. The way I see it, once the truth comes out, Starlight should take custody of Diamond Tiara, at least to get her out of Spoiled's hooves, then she can move back in with her foster father once he sends Spoiled packing, and then maybe he and Starlight can work something out independent of Spoiled's influence.
One thing's for sure, Spoiled's marriage to Filthy will never be the same once the cat comes out of the bag.
Here comes the hate comment!
I don't think I'm going to like this very much because what I was worried about and seeing what's ahead from the last chapter is showing up here in this chapter.
The way I'm seeing it is just another A Mothers Love but a different approach. To tell you the truth I always see Filthy being more in charged than Spoiled, and how she is in this story just feels more of the same like the other evil Spoiled stories on here. Also, I think it's just crazy to think she would act negatively towards the CMC who's sisters are heroes and business partners to the family that pretty much is the foundation of their life's.
To tell you the truth, even though I like a bit A Mothers Love. I don't like how everything gets push hard to make people hate the character, which I worry that this story is just going to have the same concept.
I'll give it one more chance, one chance! But If Flith doesn't know about the whole thing about Diamond and the miss carriage, that's it for me.
Sorry Twilight, but I think you are going to have to use your power as a Princess to get this back in order.
Like so:
Twilight: "ENOUGH!" *slams hoof* "I hate to do this, but you have left me no choice. Spoiled Rich, you think friendship is a hair-brained idea and something Diamond Tiara should not value? You DARE to say that while the PRINCESS OF FRIENDSHIP is right in front of you? For Diamond Tiara's well being, I decree you cannot return here until you have gotten a complete psychological and physical evaluation, as I very much believe you are unwell."
Comment
8014659
Mmmm I get what your saying.
I mean it is so true. We know that much about Spoiled or what her place is in their family dynamic.
Why does she see things the way she does? And why is she trying to force her daughter to be that way.
But also why does she have such a disdain to ponies she views as lower than her? It's more of this part that makes people think she IS bad, but that probably is not all that makes her.
People only THINK the worst of her because of how she wants to steer her daughter into this destructive life style and how far she is willing to go to make her daughter be like her.
Spoiled [youtube=https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=OGp9P6QvMjY] now you messed up!
The reason of this meeting is big. Not well played, Starlight. Things are getting more and more difficult... Now is the time for Twilight to do like in that other episode :
"EVERYPONY FREEZE!"