"We're going to need help..." Moonstone muttered, gently rotating the Tidal Wand through her claws and hungrily admiring the sapphire. In his half-drugged state while the wings were being attached to his body, Pennington had mentioned to her that if she tried to eat the gem, she would most likely have an amount of seawater equivalent to a small ocean spewed down her throat. she hadn't been sure if it was him or the drug talking, but she had decided she'd rather not risk it. "He may not want to admit it, but even with these artifacts, we're not going to be able to beat Trixie on our own..." Whipstitch nodded slowly, slightly more sober after the process of attaching the wings to Pennington's back.
Trying to be as gentle as she could, Whipstitch had sliced three long, shallow cuts into his back, both along and at equal distances from his spine while she was fetching the pills. Moonstone had been slightly upset that Pennington had foreseen her objection and sent her away, but he didn't seem to notice as he grabbed a pair of the pills and swallowed. Pennington seemed not to feel the cuts after that, only moaning jokingly in fake pain and laughing at himself uproariously in his drugged state. After the scent of blood got into the air, the tiny hairlike strands on the saddle piece seemed to become more excited, growing longer and swaying back and forth of their own accord. Pennington had claimed that the wings both needed blood and easy access into the body in order to connect to the nerve endings and muscles. He seemed to be proven correct as Whipstitch lowered them onto his back (after Moonstone had stopped her from putting them on backwards), because the tiny tendrils extended down into his blood and, and the wings had actually begun to glow red and pulled themselves down onto his back, no longer needing Whipstitch's guidance. Pennington was forced to the ground by the sudden weight, forced to lay on the cold floor. Pennington definitely seemed to feel this for some time, after that, as the iron wings fitted themselves into his flesh. The saddle piece seemed to somehow melt down, becoming a silver liquid that sunk deep into his skin, and the wings legitimately became a part of his body. They had originally hung low at his sides, but now the base of each wing moved upwards into the small of his back, where they would have been seated on a normal pegasus. Under his skin, Moonstone could see that the metal from the saddle wasn't remaining idle, somehow forming the new muscle structures needed to move the wings, creating an unsettling effect of things moving inside of his back, shoulders, and chest. Pennington had somehow remained awake throughout the process.
"It's not as painful as it looks, actually!" He chuckled, prodding at the metal under his skin with his hoof. "I mean, yes ,it hurts, but the wings themselves actually dull some of the pain... I'm still not sure how, but I think it has something to do with the initial connection to the nervous system..." He had grimaced in pain several times throughout the process as the initial pills wore off, but he had declined any offers of more. Even as the pain seemed to grow, he was still able to force out a smile and a overconfident wink, claiming that he was trying to build up his pain tolerance. Eventually, he managed to stand up again, his legs shaking with the strain of the extra weight
"So... Where did you find these?" Moonstone asked, taking a moment to look more closely at the artifact. They had looked as if they were constructed from scrap metal and iron chains. However, after being placed onto his back, their appearance was changing, somehow molding themselves into a more natural-looking form, closer to real pegasus wings. "They don't look like anything I've ever seen before!"
"Would you believe that my uncle was a mad scientist?" Pennington chuckled.
"Really?" Moonstone's eyes widened in shock.
"No, I just wanted to see how you'd react!" Pennington laughed for a moment before cringing again. "Ugh... I wish I could hurry this up, but the pain would get even worse..."
"The wings started out exactly how they looked, a pile of scrap metal, straight from the junk heap. Unfortunately, they were taken as the raw materials to be used by an insane arcanist. He was a unicorn who had discovered a book of sketches and designs left over from a blacksmith named Ember Glow." Pennington's brow furrowed in thought. "Ember had been an earth pony, and she was killed before she could find a unicorn to help her with her magical designs... This unicorn was using them to try and create artificial alicorns to attack Canterlot, along with several of Ember's other designs. Ember was a genius, too! She designed armor that could fight independently, weapons that would get sharper and sharper as they fought, and even some sword designs unlike any I've ever seen!" His excitement was abruptly cut off as a particularly acute pain struck. "Anyway, in a long story for another day, that scimitar hanging in my study proved itself that day... I got myself captured on purpose, then freed myself and managed to knock him out while he was giving me some kind of drawn-out monologue... After that, I was able to remove his horn, which stopped the attacking armor and other devices. When I ordered all of the soldiers to self-destruct, these wings were in the wreckage. They seemed to be the only things left in working order, so I took them..." He chuckled quietly, laying down on the floor, "along with all of Ember's notes. Those, I burned, so that nopony could try the same thing. The wings, though, had a lot of potential, so I made a special place to keep them down here, and now they're there if I have some kind of emergency."
After finishing his story, Pennington's entire body stiffened, and his eyes grew very wide for a moment. He remained frozen for a moment, then relaxed. The wings picked themselves up off the ground, moving just as naturally as any pegasus that Moonstone had ever seen. They were disproportionately large for Pennington's body, but judging from his sigh of relief, they were somehow much lighter. Setting them parallel to the ground, Pennington closed his eyes. Silently, he began flapping them up and down, taking care not to strike anything else in the room. Without a sound and barely a breeze coming from the wings, Pennington rose into the air.
He had smiled as Moonstone and Whipstitch both stared in shock. With hardly any effort, he spun first left, then right in the air. After a few minutes of checking to make sure the wings were working properly, he came back down to the earth again. Mentioning that the process had left him exhausted, Pennington had led the two back out into his study, where he laid down in front of the fire and promptly fell into a deep sleep, leaving Whipstitch and Moonstone alone to talk, leading to their current position.
"I think that we could bring Twilight's friends together to help fight after she's released them for the night in a couple hours..." Whipstitch nodded in response to Moonstone's statement of needing help. "We could all meet up in the Vault!"
"Not there... Pennington wouldn't want anypony else to know about it..." Moonstone stopped for a moment, staring at Whipstitch. "Speaking of which, how did you get in there?"
When Whipstitch simply shrugged, Moonstone tried to look more closely at her to see whether she was lying or not. The pony didn't seem to be hiding anything.
"Sometimes stuff just happens to me. I stopped questioning it a long time ago!" Whipstitch chuckled darkly. "I don't see why Penn wouldn't want them in there! They're not just some ponies off the street, they're the bearers of the Elements of Harmony!" Glancing over to make sure that he was still asleep, Whipstitch leaned in closer to whisper to Moonstone. "And it's actually a lot nicer than he keeps the rest of his house... Penn is never that organized and tidy!" She pointed around them, at the insides of his study. The walls were covered in stray papers and red yarn that created the storyline of whatever it was he was working on. Daring Do merchandise was scattered on bookshelves and his desk was covered in loose papers and assorted items, including worn-down quills and both empty and filled inkwells.
Moonstone was quiet for a minute. Pennington's disheveled lifestyle had definitely taken her by surprise, but the sheer contrast with the Vault hadn't occurred to her until now.
"I think... Pennington doesn't respect himself enough to keep a clean and tidy life. He doesn't want to admit it, but he just always thinks there's something more important than his own living conditions. Those relics, though... He knows they're powerful, and he's seen the damage they can do. He gives them greater regard than he gives himself, so he treats them better!" She shrugged. "I think that room got a lot more of his own blood, sweat, and tears than he would want to admit..."
Whipstitch stared at her for a moment, surprised at the dragon's insight. "You really do see things everyone else can't!" She stood up, putting a hoof to her head as she used her magic to place her magazines in her saddlebag. "I'm going to try and find a cure for this hangover, bring him over to my shop in three hours. The others should be there." When Moonstone nodded in reply, Whipstitch put a thoughtful hoof to her chin.
"You know what? I think I could make the most adorable dress for you!" She beamed as Moonstone's eyes widened in surprise. "Oh, yes! Be ready for a fitting when you come over!" Without another word, Whipstitch was out the door.
Pennington shook his head as he and Moonstone trotted across the street. She'd woken him up only a few minutes ago, informing him that she and Whipstitch had been making plans while he was asleep, and that they were going to be enlisting the other Element bearers to help fight Trixie.
"We don't need help, Moonstone! Especially with these relics!" He muttered, his mood already somewhat spoiled by the fact that Moonstone had needed to wake him up with a bucket of water.
"Well, the more help that we have, the better our chances of stopping Trixie, right? I thought you'd be happy to have it! Besides, we already need help with a disguise, since you only seem to own one mask...:" Moonstone had changed from her normal position on his back, laying out and stretching across his wings. "By the way, Whipstitch said something about wanting to make a dress for me... Is there any way that you could-"
"Nope. She's not going to stop." Pennington chuckled as they walked up to her shop. "Just brace yourself. You may be about to have your personal space violated by several tape measures."
Moonstone looked up at the sign as they walked inside. "'Whipstitch's Repairs?' I thought that she said that she makes lingerie?"
"Well, that's at the back of the shop. Whips makes a lot of money fixing just about anything with her sewing skills." Pennington took a deep breath and held it as the bell above Whipstitch's door. As they walked inside, There was thread everywhere, covering the floors, and Whipstitch was sitting behind a small counter in the back of the room, chatting with Twilight's assorted friends. The moment that Pennington entered the room, however, all eyes were on him, and there were several gasps of surprise. Pennington took a moment for the initial shock to pass before nodding to each of the girls. Fluttershy seemed to be the only one missing.
"Good evening, Rainbow Dash! Pinkie Pie, seeing you here certainly brings a smile to my face! Rarity, still fabulous under forced servitude, I see! How are you holding up, Spike?" The dragon gave him a hesitant thumbs-up. He paused as he came to the orange earth pony, giving only the slightest nod of recognition.
"Applejack."
"Penn."
"I heard Trixie has you doing hard labor."
"That's right."
Pennington thought for a moment, obviously contemplating saying something more, but seemed to back down from starting a confrontation. "Well, it's my intent to put a stop to that. To put a stop to all of this-"
"MM-HMM! MM-mm-HMM!'" Pinkie Pie nearly exploded with excitement, running up to Pennington and examining his wings with a gigantic grin on her face. (Well, her eyes were scrunched up as if she were grinning. Her mouth was still disturbingly nonexistent.
"No, Pinkie, they're not real." Pennington shied nervously away from Pinkie, the wings rustling nervously against his sides. "They're magical, artificial wings. It's the make sure that Trixie doesn't recognize me when I go out to fight her."
"You're going to just walk out there and fight her?" Applejack shook her head. "You're crazier than I thought, Pennington! And that's sayin' something! First you take that snake-in-the-grass into your home and nurse her back to health-"
"Don't call her that."
Applejack stopped in her tracks, staring at Pennington as if he'd grown a second head. "'scuse me?"
"Just because the amulet's driving her mad doesn't give you permission to call her that." Pennington blinked and shook his head. "I didn't let you do that when she and I were together, and I'm not going to stand for it now. She's not in her right mind!"
"Are you kiddin' me?" Applejack slammed her hoof into her face. "After everything she did to you, you're still going to stand by her? In case you still can't see, she robbed you blind!"
Pennington didn't flinch at the yelling, keeping a cooler demeanor than he'd actually had before he'd come in. "A pun. Impressive. What happened was my fault. She learned about the alicorn amulet from me, and she left with good intentions... Even if it did break my heart and make me hate her, I've realized that don't have anypony to blame but myself. I was keeping secrets, and that led her astray."
Applejack rolled her eyes, obviously not convinced. "Leave it to the writer to go making up stories to justify his own insanity! You know, the moment that Twilight's gone and Trixie's back in town, you're suddenly back to being all in love with her! I bet you don't even care about Twilight! You just want a mare who'll keep you busy!" She spat the words with disgust, much to the shock of everyone in the room. "If Aunt Celia were here right now, she'd be ashamed of you, Pennington!"
"Applejack, why would you-" Rarity was cut off as Pennington raised a trembling hoof for silence. Noticing that he was about to explode with anger, Moonstone slowly climbed down from his back.
"Applejack, my less-than-dear cousin..." The term drew out a couple more surprised expressions from the other ponies present. "Were we not in the presence of actual respectable ladies, we would settle this in our usual manner: me allowing you to beat the daylights out of me because I don't want to hit a girl harder than I have to."
"Allowing me? I won those fights fair and square!"
Pennington gave her a dark glare. "Do you really think that a pony who was placed in consideration for the Elite Night Guard would be beaten by a simpleton farmer who practices on trees? Anyway, because this lacks the usual privacy of our previous fracases, I'm going to simply tell you to leave my mother out of this. Just because I would defend Trixie doesn't mean that I approve of her current insanity, but I don't blame her for it. None of you ever gave her a chance to redeem herself, and look how it's come back to bite you! I'm determined to bring her down, but not to be cruel to her when she needs help!" He stomped his hoof on the ground, looking Applejack straight in the eyes to show that he would not give her any room to fight. "But, on the other hoof, Trixie already tested me once. If you want to see just how low my patience has fallen and how willing I would be to take the satisfaction of not holding back against you, then I would give you this advice... Say I don't care about Twilight one more time. See what happens."
The two ponies stood for a moment, each silently daring the other to make a move, to start the fight. After several seconds of silence, Spike finally stepped between them, breaking the line of sight.
"Look, if Twilight was here, she'd be telling us that we need to break this up and focus!" He looked between the two of them, driving home each of their respective feelings for Twilight. "Pennington, you need to stop taking so much offense for Trixie, she deserves at least a little anger, it's not all the amulet's fault! AJ, you need to calm down and forget whatever happened before now!" He gave each of them a short glare. "Okay?"
Pennington looked around the room at the shocked faces, suddenly aware of how angry he had been. "I'm sorry you had to see that, ladies. I'm afraid that there's a lot of built-up tension needing to be released between the two of us. I don't know why Whipstitch felt the need to call you all here, I don't need help. It's my fault that Trixie got this amulet, and I intend to solve it myself. Putting an end to this will be the end of anything left between us, but I'm going to do it alone and behind a mask." He turned his back to the group, walking back towards the door.
"Hey!" Applejack shouted at him. When he turned back again, she was smiling. This caught him off-guard. Normally after an argument like that, Applejack would be left positively fuming. Somehow, though, her eyes glinted with something that Pennington had never seen from her before: respect. "You obviously got the guts to stand up for yourself, and I'll admit that that was more than I expected! If you really got the guts to take Trixie down, I'm not gonna let you get away without proving it! Are you forgetting who was behind the mask before you even put it on?"
"Yes, darling!" Rarity, who still seemed somewhat confused by the entire argument, smiled, as well. "You're forgetting about Ponyville's first vigilante! We were all a part of bringing the Mysterious Mare-Do-Well to life, we're not going to let you fight alone!"
"And you're going to have your friendly neighborhood Rainbow Dash on your side, too!" Rainbow Dash lowered to the ground, having jumped into the air when Pennington had made the threat against Applejack. "And from the looks of it, you and AJ are going to be able to put both your thick skulls up against Trixie instead of each other!"
Pennington looked at Applejack again, who nodded. "The moment Trixie's taken care of, we go back to hating each other, okay?" She offered her hoof, spitting on it in her customary fashion.
Pennington grinned and returned the favor, spitting on his own hoof and taking hers in a tight grip. "Y'all got it, pardner!"
Applejack gave him a deadpan stare. "Don't ever do that again, Penn. Ever. You're horrible at it."
"Go Team Do-Well!" Spike shouted gleefully.
"Now then, Penn... If you're going to be usin' them wings, you'd best be trying to pass yourself off for some kinda pegasus! That means we're gonna have to hide that pesky horn of yours!"
"And we're going to have to hide your cutie mark!" Rainbow Dash winked as she walked closer, inspecting the wings. "I think that I have the perfect thing! I once tried ordering a helmet for some of my tricks, but the company sent me the unicorn's version! After that mess-up, I decided I was too awesome for stuff like that. It should fit you, though! What kinda speed to you get on these things, anyway?"
"More than enough to keep up with you!" Pennington grinned.
"Is that a challenge? Ha! Watch this, I can get to my house, grab that helmet, and be back faster than you can say 'Back in a flash!'" In a sudden, Rainbow-tinted blur, Rainbow Dash was gone.
"Later, Rainbow Dash!" Rarity smiled. "I think that, between all of us together, we should be able to put together an ensemble that can hide your identity! I was thinking of something in black... Wouldn't you agree, Whipstitch?"
"Oh, definitely, Rarity!" Whipstitch chimed. "We're going to need to make his fur black so that he won't be recognized, too! I think one of my leather pieces would fit you!" She grinned and walked out from behind her desk, quickly closing the distance to her "special closet."
"Um, Whips? I really hope you don't mean-"
"Don't worry, Penn! It's just a jacket." Whipstitch winked. "The other pieces are for different clients! How much ink do you have at home?" She asked, walking back out of the closet with a large black jacket.
"Enough to last me at least three months... Why do you ask?" Pennington eyed his friend suspiciously.
"Moonstone, be a dear and walk back to Inkwell Commissions, would you? We're probably going to need as much ink as you can grab!" Moonstone nodded and ran out the door. "Pennington, we have to dye your hair black somehow!"
Rarity seemed to balk at this, but after a moment of thought, nodded in agreement.
"Putting ink in my hair? Lily is going to kill me..." Pennington muttered.
"I think a saddle might be good as well..." Rarity placed a hoof on her chin in thought, glancing between Pennington and the jacket. "The straps will provide some coverage on your flank, and it'll help guard the areas around your wings! I've got just the thing back at my boutique!" Rarity grinned.
By the time the girls had finished with him, Pennington looked completely different, almost unrecognizable from his normal self. His coat and mane had been colored jet-black, the leather jacket was a fine fit, contributing further to his dark look, and a tan saddle had been strapped across his back, fitting snugly between the wings. They had taken careful measures to make sure that his cutie mark had been completely blotted out, and Rainbow Dash's helmet (which they had also painted pitch-black) had a set of bone-colored spikes jutting out from the top, one of which held a carefully hollow shell for his horn. The helmet also sported a blue-tinted pair of goggles that hid his eyes, leaving only his now-black muzzle and ears exposed. The wings, which Pennington had insisted not be painted in any way, only complimented the entire set with a much-needed silver accent. Even Applejack had contributed, lending him the ribbons usually used to tie back her hair to bind up the base of his tail, changing the familiar shape. Together, they all stood back to admire their work.
Pinkie Pie nodded enthusiastically, pulling a blue cannon from seemingly nowhere and firing it without warning. Pennington instinctively blocked the blast of streamers and confetti with the wings, pulling them both in front of himself and creating a metal barrier. The cannon didn't seem to even knock him off-balance/ As he lowered the wings back to his side, he blew a piece of confetti off of the goggles.
"What was that for?"
Pinkie Pie, who was stroking her chin in thought, smiled with her eyes (since her mouth was still gone) and nodded her affirmation.
"Looked like she was testing your resilience..." Moonstone chimed in, standing among several empty bottles of ink, looking very much like she wanted to torch one of the tape measures Whipstitch was using to take her size measurements. "If we're fighting Trixie, it's going to be tough, and we're going to have to be able to take a beating!"
"That's right, Penn!" Applejack grinned. When Rarity had returned, her bags had been filled to almost bursting. She had pulled the saddle and a few other tools out of one bag, but the contents of the second had remained a mystery until now. Reaching into the bag, Applejack pulled out a pair of familiar-looking outfits in two dark shades of purple. "You're going to need ponies on your side who can take it and dish it out! That's why RD and I are going to be fighting right alongside ya! It's time for Mare-Do-Well to make a comeback!"
Cool pic at the end there. its go time!
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Yep pic is cool
Woah, swanky outfit is right! XD
wait.. what? So now, he has wings he can use? Temporary thing, or permanent? Kinda odd, either way.
I'm a little confused. With Trixie returning, this is season 3 time-scale, right? But not too long ago, we hadn't even hit Canterlot Wedding territory (Chrysalis not yet queen, hadn't invaded Canterlot, etc). So was there a particularly long timeskip that I missed? For that matter, how did the wedding itself go?
Even more importantly, are these answers easily accesible, and am I making myself look stupid?
3125152 You're really not. I'll probably have to give an explanation for this later, but I realized that, with how events played out in my other stories, I had to shuffle things around a lot in Happy Adventuring, including bringing Trixie's return forward.
What I'm kind of relying on here is the fact that episodes don't really seem to happen in chronological order. (Unless you can explain to me how they were able to go from "Winter Wrap-Up" to "Fall Weather Friends" in two episodes... )
I know that I'm kind of pushing it by taking an event in Season 3 and claiming that it happened in mid-Season-2, but I needed there to be some kind of event between Pennington getting home and the attack on Canterlot. In my mind, it was either "Well, Trixie came back early!" or "Wow, two story arcs about changelings in a row! He's really overusing THAT conflict!" I already deleted one story because of horrible pacing between events, and I'd like to think I learned my lesson...
But trust me, when I look at myself in the mirror at night and think about the glaring anachronism here and my glaring cop-out from creating more filler content, I whisper to myself...
"This is stupid. This is really, really stupid."
If I could think of something else to put here, and I probably could and will eventually, I'll try to fix it. I may just copy and paste this whole story arc into a google drive document and move it all forward by a few chapters. Heck, I might even put this all after my Carnival Cat story. The timing would make more sense! But I needed a pause, so I just shuffled this forward and prayed no one would really get mad at me. I know what I did and I am ashamed...
You're NOT the stupid one, I am.
3125016 Sorry about that, it was a long time ago, and I was still pretty inexperienced...
Thank you so much for pointing that out! Regardless of my own inexperience, glaring mistakes like that are embarrassing...
Wow penn just wow I like where this is going. Penn this is some of your best writing that I've read
3126018
Huh, didn't consider that.
Not actually that surprising, though. In fact, there is a precedence for this, because I have seen it reported that Magic Duel was actually conceived as/meant to be a season 2 episode, but it was pushed back to season 3 for whatever reason. I wouldn't necessarily take that as fact, but if it turns out to be true you can just say that was the reason all along. I won't say anything.
3128458 Wow! I didn't know that! If that's true, that's actually a really fascinating piece of information! Thanks! (And it would make a pretty good excuse, you're right!)
First of all let me say that I really enjoy this fic. I discovered it yesterday and expected to read a chapter or two and ended up reading it until five in the morning when I still had to get up for work. It's a lot of fun.
I do have some things I'm not a fan of that I want to bring up, though. It seems like the whole story has completely shifted. It started out as an adventure into the unknown with Twilight and Penny. Nothing was entirely certain and characters had a lot to reveal to us. It was also believable (in the same sense that Indiana Jones is "believable"). Penny, despite having a remarkable double life, has a very modest home and job as a commissions writer in Ponyville. The OCs were perfect, not over the top or anything.
Now, the story is focusing on episodic events and almost has a slice-of-life feel to it. It's just not as fun getting a rehashed episode instead of two under-prepared ponies braving deserts and sand worms. It seems like we know Penny cover-to-cover, and while it is great that he developed, I don't know how he will surprise me anymore, as the reader. Speaking of Penny, he is becoming less Indiana Jones and more Bruce Wayne. What was once a modest home with a private study now has secret revolving doors and hidden armories of possibly world-ending artifacts. The OCs are starting to follow the comic book route as well. We got the faithful sidekick Moonstone who has amazing truth telling powers. Now we have a lingerie making spider pony thing.
As I said, your story is a lot of fun and I will continue to follow it. I just wanted to share my opinions. Thanks for writing!
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Thank you so much for your feedback! It's readers like you who really help me make my stories better! I'd like to preface this by saying that you are absolutely right on all counts. Your points are well-made and 100% correct. With your permission, I'd like to at least try to ease some of your fears regarding the story.
First and foremost, I think that Moonstone and Whipstitch's implementations into the story were a bit rough and probably rushed (especially Whipstitch, probably due to the fact that, after spending a lot of time working with her in two of my other stores, I forgot how poorly she was introduced in this one). I think that we may have had the same problem with "The Vault," despite my spending almost an entire chapter on it.
The pervading idea with the episodic chapter/storylines right now are to provide a change of pace for the readers. Up until now, the majority of the story has been one grand adventure on a large, international scale. Trixie's storyline here allows for a bit of an interlude before the resolution of the changeling story arc (the royal wedding) and the transition into the following arc, "Carnival Cat vs. Pennington Inkwell," which will hopefully restore the uncertainty factor.
As for Pennington's seeming change from "Indiana Jones" to "Bruce Wayne," this, along with the Vault, is meant to foreshadow/brace us for a jump into a much deeper part of Pennington's world, with silent wars and powerful magic happening constantly out of sight, where the rest of Equestria cannot see. Twilight's going to find herself tumbling into this new world, but I'm trying to hint for the readers that such a thing is coming, and that Pennington may have much more darkness in his life below the surface than we may have yet seen. Times are coming ahead when characters like Moonstone or Whipstitch may be the only ones who know Pennington well enough to help Twilight understand what's happening.
Hopefully this helps, since there's a lot I'd have to give away about my future plans for this story if I were to get much more specific. I know this is really long, and I'll say it again: every one of your concerns are completely legitimate and relevant. I have no intent to try and "shut you down" or anything like that. I'm going to try harder not to slip into familiar plot lines and devices, and this was a real wake-up call for me to pay close attention to what I'm doing.
Finally, THANK YOU! I really wouldn't be able to write like this if I didn't have readers like you to remind me of what makes it good! As long as people like you are around, I'm not going to be stopping any time soon! I'm glad you're enjoying the story, and I hope that you continue to do so! Thanks for reading!
Yet another great chapter. Can't wait for more!
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Cheerilee and Rarity were in the same class??
No, there's no way that I'd miss something as important to the age of the characters as that. I'm the guy who slaves over details, makes sure that nothing that happens can clash drastically with can-
*re-watches episode*
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HOLY MOTHER OF LUNA!!!! I MISSED A CANON!!!!!!
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I seriously thought that Cheerilee was older than all the other ponies! (Like, Twilight and her friends are in their early 20's, and Cheerilee was more in her late 30's or 40's and was just one of those people who just ages really well!) I swear, the picture of her with the funny mane was from the eighties!
Well, as a failed writer, I have only one option! TO DIE WITH HONOR!!!
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In all seriousness, though, thank you for pointing this out!!! This is the sort of thing that I really worry about sometimes, and apparently with good reason! I'll go back and change it in the next few days, because that sort of thing REALLY gets on my nerves. That, and I JUST submitted this to EQD, so I need to work out kinks like that before the pre-readers get to it!!! Thanks again!
3137639 Thanks!!
As far as I've been able to tell, there hasn't been a definitive term used in the show other than "very special somepony." When I used the more equine terms at the beginning of the story, it was really because I hadn't written any kind of outright romance before, and I was experimenting with what term worked better. I know that some authors find it to be easier, but... I felt like I needed to make an executive decision on this one and eventually stuck with the more well-known terms. There's no need to be constantly forcing the reader to stumble over something like that, since it detracts from the immersion of the story. (Kind of like how some of my earlier chapters will sometimes call a pony's front legs their "arms..." Again, an experiment in what worked better, this time with the pony term "forelegs" winning out.)
I'm really glad you're enjoying the story, and don't worry: there's going to be plenty more action!
I have already said what i think in previous chapters so all i can say now is...
THAT ART!!!!!!!!!!