• Member Since 29th Dec, 2014
  • offline last seen Saturday

Dormio


Nod Off

Comments ( 53 )

You still do excellent work, please don't stop

I don't usually comment. but since i don't think that this story gets the recognition it should have, I'm just gonna tell you that i think you're doing an amazing job writing this. i had initially put this story in my ''read it later'' after i saw it, but i'm glad that i came back and read it:twilightsmile:

I wait with bated breath for the next Chapter, this story just keeps getting better.

8226366
Quite, I sincerely hope that he never stops.

So short... can't wait for more, as ever, great chapter.

Such an amazing story.

Ah, again, a wonderful chapter.

Note that this comment has been made before reading the story.


I'm surprised that the leader of the masked legions has yet to come into service to the silent king, surely he would end up in barathum and in the circle of wrath, maybe ending up as its baron. And as the lurker comments after his death he liked him for his competence.

Ye gods please don't stop this story!

sigh, is this even Friendship is magic anymore? I mean it's not like the greatest magic in the world is love or harmony anymore. There has not been one good person over almost three stories that have been either smart or effective. I think I'll read maybe one or two more chapters, but as it stands it seems like darkness and evil will win by default.

8407391
I agree! This needs an explanation!

A zebra musician that tried to brainwash Equestria’s youth.

anyone else get the feel of hamlet?

AND HE RETURNS, I wonder if we'll see Max later on somewhere, also just assuming that the diamond dog in the Undying army is Fleabag cause I love that guy. :moustache:

8407634
Very well then. Think of it like this:

The magic of Friendship and Love reigns supreme in Equestria with the Sun and Moon not far behind. Anyone who tries to out-magic them is doomed to fail. It appears to be weak because the villains have not given them a chance to bring it to bear. It is like if you have cannon that could blow anything apart but can't find a target.

Think of the Lurker versus the Crystal Heart. The first time, he was blown apart. The second time, he was better prepared and was able to exploit its weakness in that it drew its power from the joy and happiness of the Crystal Ponies. He got shot with the cannon then came back to cut the fuse.

Equestrians- from Alicorn to Earth Pony -are convinced that their power will protect them. When that is challenged, they become disillusioned and doubtful as would anyone but the most loyal of followers.

So, in a way, you three are the normal citizens of Equestria. The power of Friendship, Love, the Sun and Moon is suppose to be the most potent force in the world. Why is it failing? To summarize, it isn't. It just has not had the opportunity to show what it can do.

As for the smarts and competence of the good characters, I would argue that Shining Armor (took down Dugore, Sombra with help and various demons) and the Princesses (mopped up the Marked Legions, prevent a panic during the Shock Waves) display some competence but I have been warned that characters like the Silent King are slipping into Mary Sue territory (Villain Sue, to be specific) and that his competence is being played up at the expense of the good character's. I will do my best to fix this without completely derailing his or any other's character.

I appreciate all of you sticking with the series thus far and I greatly appreciated the feedback. Hopefully my explanation is satisfactory and if not, I apologize.

8407391

I'm genuinely confused as to what you're asking for tbh, on another note totally loving this Dynamic entry door gag 10/10 running gag needs more use.











Also the Prodigal son returns bwahaahhahahaha :pinkiecrazy:

Heretics, THEY SHALL ALL BURN!!

rex

Nothing beats browsing stories and finding out one of your favorites has a continuation. Been the only thing keeping me from going mad from exams. The thing I found sad was the lack of Discord during the escape sequence. Amazing work though can't wait for more.
Also me after reading the story so far:
ci.memecdn.com/8877703.jpg

Honestly this story and series is beginning to remind me of the old thief's world series which got so dark I had to stop reading it because it was just so depressing to read because it had become nothing but darkness, gloom and despair.

aline1's got a point, you know. I love a good dark fic, but even I have my limits.

Change is inevitable, the question now is, what will the end result be? This is very exciting.

...OK, no. Just... no. Having Celestia turn evil for no reason was pushing it as it is, but having her turn Discord to stone with a single spell, without using the Elements of Harmony? That just can't happen. It just can't. What could possibly make you think such things would happen? Did you not watch the show or something?

8832939
I had meant for Celestia/Daybreaker turning Discord to stone to be a demonstration of how powerful an unfettered Celestia was but after re-watching the first two episodes of season two, I see your point. That part of 'Point of No Return' has been edited to something more appropriate.

What an interesting turn of events. I hope they all die. Both sides.

I suspect the silent king has already outmaneuvered Nightmare Moon and the primorals and may have even accounted for Daybreaker.

I swear this story gets dumber with each chapter.

rex

And It's at this moment Suneater knew He fucked up.

9011111

I support that motion

In other news, which of the fates of your previous enemies seems worse and how do you think that of your current enemies?

Why do I suspect this was his plan from the beginning?

Also poor Luna lost forever to madness and insanity.

Wonderful as always.

I'm sorry, But I just didn't like the way it turned out. It just got worse and worse. Gonna have to leave a downvote. Please respond to this comment.

The only thing that bothers me is how much in the dark Twilight still is. I thought at least by now Cadance would have told Twilight that her child wasn't Shining's. It's kinda cruel to keep leading her on like that. If Cadance really wants to reconnect, than she needs to rip that band-aid of real quick. The longer she waits the worse the reaction will be. And to be honest, I was highly anticipating Twilight's reaction to Shining's and Chrysalis' relationship. But that one is mostly just about my own amusement.

This is just a small example on how this series could easily continue.

9175253
I think I might know his issue. Most criticism for this story could stem from Grey originally being a neutral party to almost becoming a full on villian.

He's the ruler of the dead and everything dies on it's own eventually. Including worlds. He shouldn't have to scheme anything.

Gotta say, one of my favourite series.

A good end to a great trilogy, hope you revisit this universe later on but I’m pretty happy with this so far.

Evo

Good ending to the series.
Do hope you pick it up again sometime tho.

*sigh*

So the first book was decent, didn't really care for how it ended as I like Shining Armor, but decent. Second was good, even if the worldbuilding wasn't worth following Tirek around(Was Corona a nod to the Fallen Angel lord of one of the hells in DnD lore. Forget the name of the top of my head, but apparently she could redeem herself in Descent into Avernus if you were convincing and gave her her sword back.).

But this? This is quickly becoming unbelievably stupid. You REALLY want us to believe these incompetent sacks of shit BUILT EQUESTRIA? Ran it for 1000 years of peace?! Yes, canon stated that, and so we just have to accept it. But canon's worst threat was a world destroying centaur and the retarded unicorn that would let him free again because her childhood friend stopped talking to her, so she ended the world. Repeatedly.

Here you have titans and gods running around ancient times, that the Twins cannot contest, fine. But where I draw the line is depicting everyone not associated helllord as so stupid they are laid low by bickering selves they would have conquered millennia ago, unless this isn't Equestria, in which case, who the fuck is Twilight Sparkle?!


Yes, most AUs require a bit more Willing Suspension of Disbelief for the reader to buy in. But the contrast between the Equestria we know and the events of these stories are getting stretched to the breaking point.

Mane 6 die without a fight

Oh, look, when the Mary Sues actually stop to plan it goes off perfectly! Our...heroes? antagonists? whatever anyone not undead, continue to have no agency.

It's dull. This is dull. It's not even Alucard levels of fun-to-watch Mary Sue'ness, just...if there's no meaningful conflict, why am I supposed to care? Luna's dead, Cadance is running away, Celestia's somehow having a psychotic break millenia after it'd have been believable, and suicidal nobles. But hey, it's ok, because Ctun will rule all!

I don't even understand what Daybreaker is. Celestia just flipped out for no reason.


Maybe I misunderstood, and SK drew Blaze's essence into the Ebon Shard. (For some reason I had it stuck in my head her joined her soul back into her body, to scream eternally, as a warning to anyone else wishing to escape Tartarus.) That...explains jack shit. After all, Unicorn Blaze was left behind in Dis to be murdered most righteously while the Alicorn Corona, and presumably Celestia's stolen power, escaped into the Mortal Realm and *yawn* possessed an imbecile. An imbecile, who I remind, NEVER GOT AROUND TO CONFRONTING THE DAYMARE SHE DESPISED. SK used a pitiful Unicorns essence to break the Darkness' prison.

So, Celestia turning into a Wrathful Bitch, without ever ACTUALY coming into contact with her foreshadowed missing Wrath, is just another huge plothole.

“You may not be Corona in the flesh but there is no mistaking her twisted influence.” Celestia retorted calmly. “That part of me she stole. It was poisoned by her rotten soul and warped by the hellfire of the Infernal Pits. I do not know how that dragon got it but through its flames, that piece was returned and you took shape like a cancer.”

Like I said before:BULLSHIT!

Corona's alicorn essence never reunited with Celestia.

10552000
I am aware. This story is still under revision and I have not gotten that far yet. There should be a [REVISIONS] block in the story that marks my progress but admittedly it isn't obvious.

Everything you have pointed out has been criticized by others: Canon characters acting Out of Character, Overpowered underworld characters, Silent King slipping into Marty Stu-dom, Celestia going evil for no good reason, plotholes created by revisions to the previous stories, the Mane Six being inept and the general tone of the story straying far from what MLP is, even for an AU story.

In hindsight, it may have been better to 'unpublish' this story while I worked on it but 1) I wanted to have an ending, warts and all, to the series and 2) so I can continue to get feedback.

Still, thanks for sticking with this series 'til the end and the criticism is appreciated.

Login or register to comment