• Member Since 17th May, 2016
  • offline last seen Sunday

Moonking


Praise the moon and the princess https://www.patreon.com/Battlelord

Comments ( 138 )

Good story so far mate keep it up

Youch... you're off to a rough start.

Hope to read more soon.

The ponies will be humanized

That's called anthromorphic, or anthro for short, unless you have something else on your mind.

Speling misteaks maek unreabedable. Use a spel chekar.

Comment posted by The Warmaster deleted Aug 15th, 2017

Now I've read some stories with bad grammar..... But this just takes the Cake. I mean seriously, errors left and right, things spelt wrong, sentences not making ANY sense, and that's just the grammar! Quite a few continuity errors, the writing is rushed, the story is just rushed, sporadic, and outright EDGY(not a word I use lightly). Very little explanation of why he's there, main character doesn't seem to care what he was killed or will never see his home again, almost EVERYONE is OOC, and there seems to be no true conflict (ex: tia doesn't trust him, he says a few things that aren't what she asked for, and she's somehow calm again.), the guy has a girl already crushing on him in the first chapter, honestly I could go on forever with how bad this is. I'm genuinely sorry for being this asinine, but this is just that bad. To top it off, it seems way too similar to the first few chapters of "Star Eater"(which I proofread for the author of said story), only changing the concept from dmc/Naruto/Avatar and demons, to ghouls and ghoul full package. All in all, very bad, should get better at writing, come up with original ideas, and maybe get a proof reader (after fixing your own terrible writing, honestly I couldn't begin to proofread this it's just unfixable because nobody can tell what your trying to say half the time.)

Apologies for my long winded rant but I felt the need to get this across, and nobody else seemed to put a full in depth explanation as to why this was bad.

8368765
I agree with you, but is it really that bad?
I mean, geez a guy is at least TRYING to write, give him time, maybe he will get better, everyone starts somewhere you know.

8369031
I understand that, but yes it was that bad. And yes everyone does start somewhere I'll give him that but (possible (impossible to confirm) copying ideas is inexcusable, and I guess it was a mean way of saying it but still.

I like it! Keep up the food work:pinkiehappy:

It is always a bit weird to have those transformed characters with a sad past, that suddenly believe they really always where said character, combine their own background with the anime and suddenly seems to act all badass.

While it looked somehow okay, it was a bit weird to see him acting so fast on Twilight as if that was his real reason to go there, but then he was running away from her

I liked that he kind of wanted to do what he wanted and not what Celestia wanted or that he only answered as many questions as he wanted.
However at the same time he kind of gave in when he suddenly agreed to Celestias demand to only say there if he would answer more questions than he was willing to answer. I think I just had wished he would have made it clear he would not take any orders, since this kind of felt like Celestias last try to order him around.

The way he was trown into the world "can" maybe work like this, but it was weird to see him being that master fighter abd telling them about people that might bot even exist in their universe should they decide to investigate.

I still believe this could go into a direction I really like, but you should probably wait till she is that much in love with him, even when I like it if they get together before half of a story is over.

Maybe make him get used to his abilities, his sudden defeat looked odd because he appeared already so strong in this chapter.

Comment posted by GloomyWood deleted Mar 14th, 2018

The more i read the more i love. Also fuck celestia!!!!

Holy fuck my sides, please make more.

Names Nick, Nick Storm. Yeah, that's right. I'm a cool dude.

Oh shit niBBa it's the grim reaper, so that mean I dead?????

Yeah mate, here's some cool shit to send you on your way to horse land. No, what happen toooo me?!!

Apparently your family has a history of abuse and brain damage. You were 19 dude, why didn't you call the cops?

dude, not cool, what, happen to, me mum

She called the cops, nerd.

what do now, send back, must???

no, but use images to describe location of dreams

can i haz superman?

yes

actually wait overrated anime is cool

Wait what the fuck? I don't know what you were thinking when you made this, but I hope it's a joke.

8384406
And you know something, to every hater or grammar nazi. As long as one person likes a story I say keep writing it. You never know it could lighten someone's day.

8367347
Actually humanised is basically eqg style not anthro which is a mix.

8384454
I actually agree with that. But I don't think the grammar is that bad. And I know your story's always make my day dude.

I really enjoy the story man I hope you come out more:-)

Sex scene was a little quick and I wonder what Celestia had to say when she requested to speak to twilight and Nick. But overall good chapter.

i like the story please continue and like he or she sayed the sex scene and celestia.

Great story, could use an editor though

Solid chapter with some grammar errors. So much better than a lot of the crossovers on this sight.

Great chapter, keep up the nice work :)

Well I'm happy that Shining Armor isn't a dick anymore. Yay

Awesome I look forward to more. :pinkiehappy:

Aw shit is Jason well nick is going to go ghoul some time right well...*deep breath* whats a thousand minus seven?

I'm surprised this is still being updated despite the rating. I thought for sure you would of been discouraged by it.

8777373
I write for the love of it. If people want to hate then let them hate.

8777380
That's great to hear. I myself like this story so keep it up dude.

8777380
Good. write for fun, not fame or fortune. Ignore the hate.

Comment posted by Skydasher deleted Mar 22nd, 2018

Dude keep this story going just spent 2 hour reading to the latest chapter and loved it much love man can wait for new chapter

Captains log. Star date who cares. Today Nick got his leg crushed like a walnut. That is all.

He is a red.
He was turned into a ghoul but is lying about it.
This is so stupid since eventually he will have to eat and reveal himself.

8794827
That is the beauty of it, it will make it worse that it was celestia fault that he had to turn himself into one.

please continue the story and maybe nick can have a harem you no like twilight, luna, sunset, and more or less

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