Luna and Twilight are about to be married and spend the rest of eternity together, however, a minor slip up on Twilight's part reveals a secret she had been hiding since she became an alicorn. Forcing Luna to rethink herself and how she stands with her fiance.
Rated PG
(if you find a picture with a taller Twilight and a shorter Luna standing next to each other please link it as it would make a great cover.)
sept 9 2017, featured! Hello front page!
Beauuutiful! Dat endin' The eyes were an great touch, though a tad creepy as well. Stil, have a fav!
Also, do you write all these great stories yourself, or is there any proofreader helping you? I'm in search of some body capable to teech me the gramma rules. My english is not to good, but i want to improve.
8415018
Search editor in group at the top of the page at the top of the page
great story. Sequel please
Ask them to make you a image
https://www.fimfiction.net/group/295/art-for-fanfiction
Well, it was nice. Despite the somewhat strange beginning, where Twi was laying it a bit thick with the "obsolete" state of things for my liking.
But all was resolved in the end and overall fell of this story is good.
Not a huge fan of any of the other pairings represented towards the end, but this story was pretty a'ight.
One thing you might want to edit is referring to "Lunar" as Luna towards the end a couple times. But that might be a choice on your part.
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I tryed that, but can't find a one. That is why i'm asking you. If there is any body helping you he must do a good job. Maybe i can't write myself properly but i notice a clear english when i see it.
Oooh. Eye color switch to accompany the magical bonding ritual? That's an amazingly sweet idea.
Also, it's hot to think of Luna being turned on by potentially being the sub.
It was really cute, and the idea was well presented. I really like the story.
But, the climax was quite... anticlimactic! Or maybe it's just me.
Anyway, good work!
From your short synopsis:
The second sentence is not a sentence but a fragment of one.
Also, you rated it "PG" on the summary and yet its rated at "E" for everyone.
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First is fixed, second I dont even know what to tell you. PG means parental guidance and E is everyone, ive looked up several definitions and they are both pretty much interchangable. It seems as though you are going off the american video definition for PG when thats not what was intended. Regardless this seems to be a simple matter of splitting hairs over nothing so im just going to leave it.
8415793
Actually, I'm the editor of this story. You can notice it if you read carefully the Author's Note, there is a small link leading to my page. Well, feel free to send me a PM and we can discuss the grammar rules
8417837
Daww I was trying to find out how long it would take him to figure it out! poo >:(
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He or she apparently wants to learn and I'm glad to help these people. There is not that much of them around. Still, I apologize for ending your entertainment Though truth be told, I'm not surprised he/she overlooked it. The credits are kinda overshadowed by the huge Patreon sign.
8417891
Thats fair but I also put all the important stuff first! they didnt even make it a paragraph!
Hey there! Just wanted to say that I love all of the lore and world-building you did in this one! It's definitely helped to spark my creativity for a few projects of my own!
Oooh! D&D much? XD
I must make the cover art for this!!!
8423541
Please do!
This really feels like it needs the "Random" tag, and the entire second half is pretty superfluous. I am not a fan.
If there still has been no luck with a cover, I did find one of Twilight taller than Luna. Best I can do is to say look up Magnaluna on Deviantart. She has one.
I'm new to this kind of thing so all I can really do.
https://magnaluna.deviantart.com/art/Adult-Twi-725968769
The bad thing is that I read this thinking they were anthro before checking the tags halfway through.
When she becomes Princess Twilight 2.0 does she become even taller?
derpicdn.net/img/view/2019/11/4/2187403.jpeg
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Lol pretty much.
You know, this is the first time I can remember seeing Starlight shipped with any of the Mane Six, except Twilight. (And also Spike, strangely enough.)