“Psst!” One of the bushes by the schoolhouse hissed at me as I swooped in for a landing. Squinting at it, I adjusted my shades in the early morning light, but its occupants remained well hidden.
“Psst! Night! Get over here before she sees you!” A white hoof reached out to drag me into the bush, and I leapt back.
“What are you doing, Sweetie and…” I bit my lip. “…Apple Bloom?”
“We’re waiting for Scoots to show up.” Apple Bloom poked her head out.
“In a bush?” I tilted my head to the side. “Why didn’t you just walk to school with her like you normally do?”
“Because she wanted to walk with somepony else,” Sweetie giggled giggly.
“Now get in the bush so we can spy on her when she gets here.” Bloom nodded towards their hiding spot.
“Puh-lease!” There was a sniff from off to the side as Diamond walked up. “Spying from a bush? What are you, three? You can spy on ponies without acting like foals.”
“Guys…” I squirmed. “Can we not?”
“Aww, come on, Night! It’s all in good fun!” Bloom grinned. “And we did the same to you when you dated Rumble!”
“We didn’t date!” I squeaked.
“Did too!” Diamond rolled her eyes and snorted.
“Did not!”
“Did too!”
“Did not!”
“Then why are you blushing?!” Diamond tittered.
“Why are you blushing?!” I shot back, heat creeping up my neck.
“You’re the only one blushing,” Silver droned as she walked up. “Now either get in the bush or calm down. Dinky said Scoots and Rumble were just down the road.”
Pouting, I rustled my wings and tried to ignore how the sun was scorching me alive. My back burned, I was starting to sweat, and my wingpits were all itchy and gross. Diamond kept tittering, making me squirm even more, while Silver just arched her brow at me.
Finally, I leapt into the bush for some sweet, sweet shade. “Rrrrrrgh! Raze the mother—” Sweetie gasped as I let loose a string of bad Dad words. “—moon-forsaken sun!”
“Night!” Bloom swatted me.
“Oooh, such a bad filly!” Diamond giggled harder.
“Don’t swear at the sun, Night.” Silver adjusted her glasses. “It’s not that hot out.”
“Yes it is.” I crossed my forelegs in front of me and pouted at the ground.
“That’s not the sun, stupid.” Silver sniffed.
My ear flicked. “What do you mean by—”
“Hi, guys! What ya doing?!”
“Scree-eeee!” I jumped a few meters in the air as Scootaloo plummeted out of the sky.
“Scoots!” Apple Bloom and Sweetie clutched their chests. “You’re supposed to be walking in with Rumble!”
“Meh.” Scoots smirked. “We figured you’d all be waiting to spy on us, so we split before the school came in sight.”
“I wasn’t going to spy on you,” I muttered in the shade of my shrubbery.
Scootaloo pointed at my cover. “The bush says otherwise.”
“For shame, Nightingale. For shame.” Diamond shook her head and smiled.
“You’re no better,” Scoots snickered. “I’ve seen you sneaking glances at us.” She stuck out her tongue. “You jealous?”
“No!” Diamond’s cheeks were dark as the new moon. “I most certainly am not!”
My ears flicked a few times, and I looked at everypony else as they giggled at Diamond’s expense. Sighing, I just smiled and set a hoof on her withers. “Don’t worry, Diamond…. We’ll always have your back. Like Mom always says, fillies before willies.”
“Yeah!” Everypony chimed, slapping Diamond on the back.
“I’m not jealous!” She blushed harder and looked at the ground as the bell rang. With a quick burst of speed, she dashed away from us and into the schoolhouse, muttering all sorts of nonsensical things.
Brrrrrring!
I glanced up from my homework to see a few ponies trudging forward with incomplete tests. The rest of the class had already stampeded past them, and I winced at the sight of a teary-eyed Archer, picking up the scattered remains of his fallen packet. Quickly stuffing my things in my bag, I moved to help him, but found my way blocked by a wall of Diamond.
“Hey, Night….” She squirmed a little as she met my gaze, and my wings rustled in kind.
“Hey, Diamond.” I nodded to her as we both poked at the floor. “Sorry about this morning. I, uh, wasn’t trying to make things worse.”
Diamond frowned, shoring herself up with a haughty huff. “I don’t know what you’re talking about, doofus. That was all Scootaloo.”
“But you—”
“It’s. All. On. Scoots.” Diamond’s coat bristled a little as she growled at me. “Stop being an idiot. You were just trying to help.”
“Some help I was.” I kicked the ground. “Was it something I said?”
“No, I just—” Diamond sputtered a bit. “Look, Night. You all just caught me by surprise at the end. It happens. Let’s just forget it and head to Sugarcube Corner.”
I sucked in a breath. “Alright, let me just—” I looked to see Archer and the other straggling students were long gone. Only Cheerilee was there, sneaking a peek at us every so often as she graded the tests. “Nevermind,” I sighed. “The others going to join us?”
“No.” Diamond shook her head. “Apparently, they all have other things to do, so it’ll just be the two of us.”
“Even Silver?” I blinked, flicking an ear at the impossibility of what I’d just heard.
“Even Silver.” Diamond sniffed.
“Woah…. Silver never has plans.”
“I know! It’s downright freaky!” Diamond tossed her mane back as she huffed. “At least I have you. It’d be pointless to go by myself.”
“Mhmm.” I nodded as we walked to the door. Glancing up, I saw a couple pegasi pushing clouds into the start of dark grey clump and whistled. “That’s going to be one tartarus of a storm. Did you bring your umbrella?”
“We’ll be in and out before it starts.” Diamond waved a hoof dismissively. “I’ll be fine.”
“If you say so.” I shrugged. “How did you do on the test?”
“I did great!” Diamond puffed out her chest. “I even remembered all eight ancient artifacts of Meadowbrook!”
“Uhh, Diamond….” I rubbed the back of my head. “There are only seven great artifacts of Meadowbrook. The Cape of Capering, the Boots of Banishment, the Belt of Buoyancy, the Horn of Hornswoggling, the Pants of Prancing, the Feather of Flittering, and the Orb of Confusion.”
The beaming filly before me stumbled a step, her smile faltering. “But… but what about the Diadem of Disillusionment?”
I shook my head. “Sorry, Diamond. It doesn’t exist.”
“Aww, horseapples.” Diamond kicked the ground. “Daddy’s going to kill me.”
“Yeah, right.” I rolled my eyes and snorted. “At worst, he’ll make your celebratory ice cream pistachio flavored.”
“And it’ll be the absolute worst,” Diamond moaned as Sugarcube Corner came up on the horizon.
“Wimp.” I socked her in the shoulder and stuck my tongue out. “Know what you need? A race. A bit of running will knock that funk right out of you.” Grinning, I gestured to our goal. “Last one to Sugarcube Corner buys the first round?”
“Well….” She bit her lip and looked towards the finish line. “Yeah, you know what? You’re on.” She snorted, stopping beside me and bending down to stretch and wriggle her rump. “Gotta learn to beat you fair and square at some point.”
“You can certainly try.” I began my own stretches, sizing up any potential obstacles down the road. “You ready?”
“Uh-huh.”
“On three, then. Three. Two. One. G—”
“Oh, hi, Princess Luna!”
“Where?!” I looked around to see nothing but an empty space beside me and some tittering.
“Son of a sun witch!” I bolted after my backstabbing friend. “Diamond, that’s cheating!”
“You’re cheating!” She giggled like a loon under moon. “All that extra training and muscle?! I didn’t stand a chance!” She cantered through the door to Sugarcube Corner with me just millimeters behind her and skidded to a stop. “See! You almost beat me even with my head start.”
“You’re so totally buying after that. I had that race in the bag.” I stuck my tongue out at her.
“Whatever you say,” Diamond simpered. “Go fetch a table and I’ll make our orders.”
“Mango caterpillar, please.” I smiled at her. “Oh! And a basket of deep fried ants if Pinkie’s got them!”
“You got it.” Diamond headed towards the counter.
Making my way to an empty booth, I sat down and looked at the other tables to see who was here. Button and Pipsqueak were attacking these massive sundaes a few booths down, while Sunny Daze and Peachy Keen were doing homework as they sipped milkshakes at their table. The ficus in the corner sneezed as Sweetie Belle gave her position away, and—
Wait. What?
My face scrunched at the sight of Sweetie and Apple Bloom huddling behind a potted plant. Their faces were hidden behind groucho glasses and fake mustaches as they studiously took notes. Looking at what held their interest, I saw… Scootaloo? And Rumble….
“Aww, moonpies….” I pouted as they both sipped from the same milkshake. “Not this again.”
“Alright, orders placed! Pinkie Pie said it’d be a few minutes at most.” Diamond slid in beside me.
“Please tell me you didn’t plan this.” I frowned and crossed my forelegs in front of me.
“Plan what?” Diamond followed my gaze. “Is that Sweetie and Bloom? What are they doing hiding behind a ficus?”
I pointed at Scoots and Rumble.
“Oh! That explains it.” Diamond giggled. “Those two really need to learn more tact if they’re gonna do spy on Scoots like that.”
“You still haven’t answered me.” I squinted at her.
“No, I didn’t bring you here to spy on Scootaloo,” Diamond huffed, waving a hoof. “I didn’t even know she was planning a date.”
“Oh, thank goodness….” I sagged in my seat.
“Since we’re here, though.” She waggled her brows.
“Really, Diamond?” I whined, shifting in my seat. “I thought you wanted to spend time with me.”
“I do!” She grinned. “We’re just going to spend it shamelessly getting some dirt on Scootaloo! Come on. It’ll be fun! We can spend all day tomorrow ribbing her.”
“It doesn’t sound like fun….” My wings rustled as I squirmed in the booth. I was stuck between a rock and a hard place, unable to leave the booth while I had Diamond on one side and the wall on the other.
She knew it, too. Her grin widened as I continued to say nothing, her eyes occasionally sneaking peeks at Rumble and Scoots.
“Give in to the dark side, Nightingale.” Diamond leaned towards me, and I tried to backpedal into the wall. “Let the gossip consume you.”
“Alright, alright! Just… don’t make it weird!” I squeaked, scrambling beneath the table to get to the other side. “Stupid gossip.” I snorted once sure my strategic retreat was a success. If she’d followed me, I most surely would have routed. “Why can’t fillies just roughhouse like colts do?”
“Because gossip is fun!” Diamond tittered. “Besides, we hardly ever do anything like this with all our crusading.”
“Here you go, girls!” A Pink tornado dropped off our food in a blur of motion. “You even earned some complementary groucho glasses!” She pressed something plastic into my face. “Great for incognito missions!”
“Screep!” I quickly tore the silly glasses off of my shades and glanced around to see if anypony had seen.
“Calm down, Night.” Diamond nonchalantly sipped at her shake before putting her own glasses to the side. “You’re making us look suspicious.”
“We are suspicious!” I hissed. “We’re spying on our friends.”
“Oh, please.” Diamond rolled her eyes. “Sweetie and Apple Bloom are suspicious. We’re just eating at Sugarcube Corner. Why don’t you just relax and have your fried ants?”
“But—”
“Oh my gosh, Night. You’re just as dense as Sweetie and Bloom.” Diamond chuckled. “The secret to spying on others is not getting noticed. If you just go about your business like normal, then nopony is going to think twice.”
“Really?” I eyed the crispy, dough-covered ants, dusted with sugar and crackling with the slight hiss of hot, bubbly oil.
“Really.” Diamond pushed them towards me. “We’re gonna just hang out like we normally do and maybe—just maybe—we’ll strike gold and have something to tease Scootaloo with.”
“Well, alright then….” I reached forward for a hoofful of ants and popped them in my mouth with a crunch.
“Teehee! Much better.” Diamond held a hoof to her mouth. “Now we just sneak a few peeks every so often.”
“You can do that on your own.” I muttered, pointedly looking away from Scoots in case she decided to do something icky.
“Aww! That’s so adorable!” Diamond squeed.
“What’s so adorable?” I flicked an ear.
“I don’t know!~” Diamond flicked her eyes back to me and smirked. “You’ll have to look to find out.”
Son of a sun witch. I wasn’t going to—
“Eww…. It’s like they're trying to rub each other’s face off.” I scrunched my face at the sight.
“It’s just nuzzling!” Diamond laughed.
“It’s advanced nuzzling!” I stomped a hoof on the table.
“Oh, and you would know that, how?” Diamond grinned and swatted me with her tail beneath the table.
I scowled and flicked her back. “It’s the kind of stuff my mom and dad do—”
“You mean, ‘normal couples stuff?’” Her smile widened.
“—when they’re off duty and home alone.”
“Pfft! Ahahaha! Is that what you think?” Diamond burst into giggles. “You must be blind as a bat, then. I’ve caught your parents on dates here at least three times.”
“What?! No way! When?!” My mouth hit the table.
“Usually, it’s when I’m taking a break from crusading.” Diamond shrugged. “You know, while you and the girls are off galavanting about.
“Unbelievable….” Head met hooves met table.
“Believe it.” Diamond glanced to the side again. “Oh! Score! Look at how red Scoots is!”
“Diamond,” I deadpanned.
“Yes?” She flashed me a smile only to bite her lip when I gestured to my eyes. “Oh, right…. Sorry.”
“Whatever,” I sighed, reaching for a couple more ants. Hopefully, she’d get it all out of her system soon so we could have some real fun.
“Hey, Diamond?” I pushed Diamond on the swing set, glancing at the dark, heavy clouds above us.
“Yes, Night?” Diamond kicked her legs at the top of her arc as if she was trying to push herself back towards me.
“It’s been like, three hours.” I caught her as she came back and we skidded back about half a meter before my next push. “Are you done yet?”
“Why? Do you want a turn?” She giggled.
“You know what I mean.” I sighed and braced myself for another push. “You’ve been watching Scoots and Rumble spar for forever.”
“But it’s so cute!” Diamond squealed, flailing her hooves as she swung through the air. “I didn’t know they practiced outside the Junior Guard!”
“Well, if they’re looking to beat me…” I may have puffed out my chest just a smidge.
“Oh, shush, you!” Diamond tittered and turned her gaze to the sky. “Has it really been that long, though?”
“Mhmm.” I risked a peek at Scoots and Rumble to see a squawking cloud of dirt, feathers, and limbs. “It’s gonna rain soon.” A drop of water hit my snout. “Or maybe it’s gonna rain now.”
Diamond said one of Dad’s favorite words as she tried to skid to a stop on the downswing. She was going too fast, though, and tripped, tumbling into me and sending us both to the ground.
“You’re kidding.” She frowned from on top of me, a small flash of lightning accompanying her scowl. “Aww, horseapples, you’re not. I gotta get home before—”
The only thing that saved her from facing the first wave of rain was me rolling us over. The water struck my back like a thousand tiny knives, but my coat was thick and my skin was thicker.
“Why the—” Booming thunder cut out her foul language. “—did those two stay out this long?!”
“Pegasi are built for rain.” I shrugged, and Diamond squeaked from under me, curling up to avoid the bits of water blowing in from the side.
Looking at Rumble and Scootaloo only confirmed that they had moved onto very enthusiastic mud wrestling with no sign of stopping amid the thunder and lightning. I was itching to prance in some puddles myself, but I had an earth pony shivering beneath me.
“Come on. Let’s get you home.” Unfurling one of my wings to full mast, I stepped to the side.
Diamond winced and shrunk in on herself as I moved, but not a drop landed on her as the rain pitter-pattered against my membrane. I nudged her with my snoot, and she peeked open one eye to find me grinning at her.
“Can’t take a little rain, princess?”
“Shut up.” She scowled before smiling softly. “And thanks….”
“No problem.” I nodded, pulling her to her feet. Once up, she hunkered by my side, pressing into my barrel as we walked towards the other side of town.
“Aren’t you cold?” Diamond’s breath misted in the air before her.
“No.” I felt her shiver beside me. “Why, are you?”
“Of course I’m cold!” she barked. “Who wouldn’t be cold from this?!”
“I’m not.”
“You feel cold.”
“That’s just my coat.”
“You’re kidding.”
“Nope. If anything, I’m feeling a tad warm with you sticking so close.”
“Well, I’m not!”
“Fine, here.” I wrapped my wing firmly around her. “Feel better?”
“Much.” She squirmed into a better position.
Yeah…. It was definitely getting warm, maybe even a little hot. Good thing her house was only another block away.
We arrived without incident to find Randolph waiting on the porch, and the heat that’d been creeping up my neck started to blaze as he arched an eyebrow at us, but said nothing. Was… was I doing something wrong?
“Miss Tiara.” He nodded. “You’re usually much better at getting home on time. Your father was starting to worry.” His eyes pierced into my soul. “What were you doing out so late?”
“Nothing!” I squeaked, the sun razing me even from behind the clouds.
Diamond looked at me weirdly for a moment before rolling her eyes. “Just the normal stuff, Randolph. Sugarcube Corner and the park. No crusading today,” she tittered. “The others were too… occupied.”
“Yes, well…” Randolph frowned at me. “Do be more careful in the future.”
“I’ll, uhh…” What a lovely welcome mat. “…I’ll make sure to bring her back earlier next time.”
“See that you do.” His frown deepened as he opened the door and let us in.
“Eurgh… finally! Home sweet home!” Diamond wriggled out from under me as we walked inside and shook off what little rain had fallen on her.
“I’d better get going.” I glanced back outside as I dripped onto the floor. There was a flash of lightning and another rumble of thunder before the rain started coming down even harder. The wind was picking up, and I needed to get home before it got too bad.
“What?! Are you crazy?!” Diamond gaped a second or two before shaking her head and tutting. “You’re absolutely batty, aren’t you?” She walked behind me and pushed me further inside. “You’re staying here until the storm is— Ah! You’re soaking wet!” She glared at the storm outside. “No way I’m letting you out now.”
“But—”
“No buts!” Diamond poked me and I took a step back. “We’re getting you a hot bath and a snack and pampering each other until the storm ends.” She giggled. “Oh! Maybe we can turn it into a sleepover if the storm lasts long enough!”
I opened my mouth to object again, and Diamond narrowed her eyes, daring me to try. Biting my lip, I sighed in defeat.
“Fine….”
“Eeheeheeheehee! Yes!” Diamond pumped a hoof. “Come on! I’ll get the bath ready for you!” She raced up the stairs, and I was left to squirm under Randolph’s stare.
“What?” I rustled my wings as the ghost of a smile crossed his face.
“It is not often I see the lady so happy.” The scowl was back. “I will be most displeased if you disappoint her, Dame Nightingale.”
“I…” I flicked an ear. “Princess Luna never made that official.”
He gave a soft chuckle and turned away, leaving me to trot up the stairs after Diamond. There was a labyrinth of halls I could never remember, but the sound of pouring water led me to the baths.
“Diamond?” I poked my head in a door. “Are you in—” I blinked at the small, steaming swimming pool before me. Mountains of bubbles climbed out of the tub, and the smell of various perfumes, oils, and soaps was heady enough to make me sneeze.
“Your face is sooooo priceless.” Diamond tittered, walking up to pat me on the back. “You enjoy yourself now. I’m going to head to the kitchen to help Randolph make snacks. You know how to get to my room from here, right?”
I tore my eyes away from the bath. “I think?”
“Take a right two intersections down and it’s the third door on the left.” She smiled. “There’s a couple sleeping bags in the closet for when friends decide to spend the night.”
She left me to my business, and I finally shook myself dry, flicking a slew of water from my wings and flopping my wet mane about. The tub hissed as cold met hot, and extra bits of steam angrily hissed upwards. Almost forgetting to toss my bags in the corner, I cantered towards the tub and leapt.
“Scree!”
With a splash, my fur sang in delight as sweet, sweet warmth coursed over me. Then, I dunked my head straight in and almost squealed at the heat.
It was perfect.
I pushed through the water with my wings, letting my muscles melt with bliss as I swam a few laps around the rim. Water was getting everywhere, but the floor was sloped to drain it right back into the bath. The bubbles were much less lucky, flinging everywhere and raining down to pop wherever they landed.
After a few minutes, I fell still, just floating on my back in the bath with my wings splayed wide. My eyes were half-closed as I drifted. The heat filled my entire body, and I hummed in appreciation.
Diamond’s house was nicer than the freaking spa.
“Night? You planning on ever coming out?” There was a timid knock on the door, and I jumped so high my head almost hit the ceiling. “I don’t really want to see what a wrinkled bat looks like.”
“Huh?! Wha?!” I shook my head and tried to blink the weights off of my eyes.
How long had I been soaking?
“Night? Are you alright? It’s been almost an hour.”
Son of a sun witch!
“Y-yeah! I’m fine!” I quickly grabbed some towels and rubbed myself down. “I just lost track of time!” Wrapping myself up, I cantered to the door and almost ran straight into Diamond. “Please tell me the storm isn’t done or my parents are gonna kill me.”
“You’re fine. Storm’s still going.” Diamond giggled. “Your Dad showed up about half an hour ago and said it was alright if you spent the night. He was a bit… peeved at first, but when I explained how it was all my fault he seemed to take it all right.”
“Oh, good.” I sighed. “So… what do you want to do? We could watch a movie or play a board game.” I hummed in thought. “There’s also that homework we got. I only made it about halfway through.”
“You’re already halfway through!” Diamond gaped. “But even Twist only made it like a quarter of the way through, and she’s like, a total nerd!”
“Really?” I tilted my head. “I thought it was easy. You just gotta— Hey!”
“You. Me. Study session. Now.” Diamond dragged me bodily to her room and slammed the door shut, locking it with an ominous click.
“Why do I suddenly feel like I need an adult?” I squirmed at Diamond’s predatory grin, quickly guzzling the not-so-hot chocolate that had been left by the half-empty plate of cookies.
“Diamond, is everything alright?” The deep, safe baritone of Filthy Rich called from the other side of the door as he knocked.
“Everything’s fine, Daddy!” There could have easily been a halo around Diamond as she said that, but her eyes sparkled with hunger. “Night and I were just going to do our homework!”
“Uhh… yeah… homework….” No mouth! Don’t say that! Call for help!
“You two have fun, then.” Filthy chuckled, his hoofsteps retreating away from the door.
“Now, then.” Diamond took a step forward, pulling out the cursed hair curlers from her vanity. “I’m going to do your mane while you teach me everything.”
I swallowed and looked at the clock. “E-everything? There might not be enough time for—”
“Everything.”
We got very little sleep that night, but our marks in biology were fantastic.
I would personally prefer no romance between Diamond and Night. It's been made pretty clear that Night has no interest in a relationship after all and I like it that way. I am also not a fan of homosexual couples in stories in general so I try to avoid that mostly. Nightingale should use the fact that Scootaloo and Rumble train in their free time to her advantage.
Add the Romance tag. Do it. DO IT.
.
Ooh, is that what the foals are calling it now adays?
8898879
It's not a question of whether or not to add a romance. It's a question of whether or not there's enough substance to merit adding the tag. By this point, as I write the story it's pretty clear to me that Diamond and Night have feelings for each other, but so far both are oblivious to them for different reasons. Night is so caught up in colts being icky and trying to be mature she doesn't see what's right under her snout, while Diamond mostly thinks about colt/filly relationships and thus hasn't considered that she might like fillies.
So there is a romance brewing, but I don't know if it merits the tag. In theory, nothing should change to my plans once I add it, and the story should maintain the feel it's had for the most part. It'll remain mostly slice of life. But the development between DT and Night is a real and evolving thing. Regardless of me focusing on it or not, it has come to maintain a solid presence over the story that shapes how each chapter is written, so the tag seems it may be appropriate even if it's not my core focus.
This is so damn adorable! The real question is "Do they have a clue, or are they both oblivious to what's going on?"
Wow that ending was vague... Guess I'll have to wait till the next chapter to see how biased our narrator is.
Well I would add it because it apply at the very least to rumble and scott
8898912
As long as the story doesn't really change I will keep following it.
8898921
It's not vague. I spelled it all right out. They just stayed up late to do their biology homework.
sweet mother of Luna... you could cut the double entendres with a knife.
You could build a suspension bridge with the sexual tension at the end.
...
I had three more of these but I forgot them when I was writing these two.
Yes. That is the answer.
Aren't they like 11 years old? What sort of biology classes would they be taking? I don't remember if there was a biology class in elementary school.
8898879 Out of curiosity, why do you not like homosexual copuples? Is it because you can't feel like you relate to them?
For science, i must know your response.
8898965
It's just my preference I have nothing against it I just don't like reading about it.
8898965
Well, there is kind of a tendency for stories on the site to push those kinds of relationships too much. Even if the available cast of male characters is smaller, by this point there is nothing wrong with simply making a fitting OC. In a bygone era, shipping show characters and OCs was unthinkable, but that was a long time ago by fandom standards.
8898960
Yes, they are twelve, and twelve year olds usually don't have biology mixed into their science class, but the ending would be so much less without it.
8898980 Fair enough. We all have out preferences, like the trashy romance novel readers.. Ehehe~
8898989 I suppose that's true. But I need a story to go up with the OC hooking up, and getting to know them. Meeting and getting into a relationship within the first week isn't entirely realistic.
8898993
I'm going to be honest here, I just realised what the ending was implying like 20 seconds ago. I must have a medium to severe case of mental retardation. In any case, gross.
8899007
Lol. They're twelve. Get your mind out of the gutter. I wasn't implying anything. I just... purposely used poor phrasing.
8899015
Lol
🎶Diamond and Night sitting in a tree
k-i-s-s-i-n-g🎶
8899105
How'd night get her up in a tree?
Social stigma and nothing more. It's similar for the guys too, and of an occasional frustration to me, but that's neither here nor there.
Well, I'm sure that with the amount of money the Riches seem to have, they certainly can afford one.
...I'm not sure you really want us answering that, Night.
Really? Just had to go for the low-hanging fruit, did you?
As for the romance tag, I'm sort of half-and-half on that, if only because it wasn't the original focus of the story. It's true that open-ended stories like this can and will evolve the need for new tags it didn't start out with, but the danger of this is let it go to far and the story sort of loses its original core focus that hooked in so many of us readers in the first place. The story feels like it's been getting increasingly more and more heavy handed on that romance and less and less on the fish-out-of-water, culture-clash, school-life for a young bat pony that it began with...and I've sort of been missing the latter more and more with each new chapter. It doesn't help that I'm altogether kind of meh about the whole Night/Diamond Tiara thing. It's the sort of thing that I'd roll with if the rest of the story remained intriguing enough to bear through it, and admittedly it's not quite at that point currently.
But to be honest, I think you're also at the point of no return with it, so my suggestion is to keep exploring it as a occasional side-plot, just sort of thing that comes up in passing every now and then, and then save the full-on romance stuff for a separate fic that can put full focus on it sometime in the future, assuming interest for it is still there by then.
Just my two-bits.
Now I want Night to show up to school tomorrow with the hairdo Diamond did. Just because the awkward moment would fit right in.
8899172
Just you wait for the summer sun celebration. Eheheheh...
Hehehe... biology... love it.
I suppose it is the natural order for slice of life yo evolve into romance, but I'm a little sad.
Still, it's hard not to go that route when you keep putting out content. I love Night and her adventures so I'll be happy to don a tricorn hat and join the shippers.
There was no other way to end this chapter but with that joke.
8898960
I do remember. It was called Natural Sciences.
However, I live in another country, so my experience may not be equal to many on the site.
I’m routing for Diamond and Night, ya’ll
That ending joke XD
I'd say add the romancw tag, but you provably already got an idea of where you want to take this story.
8899172
Actually, if I’m being honest, I’ve been entertaining the idea of pairing Night with somepony since the beginning of the story. I mean, doing so presents its own bit of unique culture clash as we’ve seen from Tempered Mettle and Morning Glory. They had to get used to each other in a way just friends wouldn’t. I mean, have you noticed Diamond is the only one who really goes the extra mile with Night? All her other friends—sans Silver who I intentionally write as almost emotionless—is still a bit put off by her eating habits. I originally wrote it that way just to emphasize that Diamond was Night’s best friend, but the more I wrote of Tempered and Morning, the more I realized it might mean something more.
On a side note, though, part of their being less culture clash and fish out of water moments in these later chapters comes from the fact that half a year if not more has passed at this point. That’s a lot of time for Night to adapt, and while there’s still the occasional curve ball, both she and the crusaders have grown a lot since the beginning.
Alondro raises a hoof, "The implications of the latter part of this sentence present me with an innuendo I find monumentally amusing."
8899286
Yeah, I know a year + has passed, and thus adapting has done, but still, Night being a bat pony keeps getting brushed aside, and it feels sort of irrelevant now. We're not even really getting that "night pony's view of the world" anymore, just more romantic-y antics that don't focus on that aspect much. I guess what I'm saying is that the story feels like it's gotten to the point that Night could just as easily be a day pony now and it'd not change the story...like, hardly at all. There'd just be less bugs in her diet, really. The story feels like it's lost a lot of it's core focus. And I can't vouch for other readers, but it was that core focus that first drew me in, and without it...the story's not so interesting to me anymore. Something I don't like admitting, because it's not that the story's turned bad or anything like that...I'm just slowly losing my personal interest in it, and frankly, I'd like to think it doesn't have to.
And I don't have any issue with Night getting paired with anyone over the course of the story, as that's obviously the natural course to take. Heck, were it me that was writing it, I would've done the same thing. It's just I feel like that pairing is starting to engulf the story to the point that it feels like it can't focus on anything else, and there's more to Night and her life as a bat pony than the pairings, y'know?
I guess what I want is a better balance between the pairing moments and moments where it's just Night and friends out having fun in the world and whatever antics/troubles come with them, like when they went to the beach, or when Gabby visited (because then you have that compare/contrast between griffons and bat ponies), or when Night and family all caught the flu. You know, other life troubles and moments everybody faces in their life, and demonstrations of how a typical bat pony, or at the very least Night, would react and respond to that. There's untapped potential here that I feel like has been getting a little overlooked here.
...I hope something in all of that makes sense and gets my point across...
At the very least, my conscience wants me to make it clear that that the story's still good--I still largely enjoy reading it despite all of this--it's just lost that hook that made it unique, keeping it from just blending in with the many generic other fics, and I really want to help nudge it into standing out from that instead.
ADD THE ROMANCE TAG!!
8899341
Uh... I’m honestly not sure what to say at this point other than that only 3 of 14 chapters have had any intentional focus on potential romance and 2 of them were done in rapid succession for Hearts and Hooves Day. I don’t think the problem you have really lies with them so much as just how adapted Night is, and there’s not much I can do to solve that. I mean, I have plans for the Summer Sun Celebration, and I may have a chapter that uses Mercy from One Batty Family, and there’s always the baby on the way, but I have other episode plans besides those, always have.
Like, this was going to happen the instant this became an anthology. I can’t just wantonly add cultural differences. It has to happen in a way that makes sense, and at the end of the night, thestrals are still ponies. I’ve set up a good number of differences, so it only makes sense I highlight the similarities sometimes, and the best way to do that is to simply show as much of Night’s life as I can, regardless of whether I’m showing something that belongs strictly to thestrals.
8899395
Actually, it's more like you first brought up the prospect of romance as far back as around Love Bites or so (and the chapter immediately following, I touched on some of these same thoughts then (8713061) and, for the record, you more or less assured me then you were going to try and avoid it), and it's been an ongoing factor that comes up or is strongly hinted to in pretty much every chapter since. It may not always have been the central focus of the chapter, but we've been consistently getting reminded that it's there and a thing during that space of time. So it feels a little more constant than that.
As for the rest, I fear I'm not quite getting what I'm trying to say across clearly. To put it in the simplest of terms, the story started out showing the typical day-to-day life you'd expect of any twelve-year-old filly, but viewed from the perspective of a bat pony, but now I feel we don't get that bat pony perspective as strongly as we did anymore. You don't need to force culture clash to get that, I guess what I want is it to be just more soundly from Night's point of view than it has been, where it feels a bit more just going through the motions of it.
I meant what I said earlier: there are an increasing number of chapters where I feel like I could swap Night out with any ol' day pony, and it wouldn't change the story at all, and if you can do that, then you have to pose the question of why is she even a bat pony?
...look, I admit I don't really know how to explain it, at least no better than what I've already tried, but the important detail is that I just feel like the story's losing something important that it still needs. I dearly wish I could point my finger at precisely what it is, but after trying multiple attempts here for the past five-ten minutes and getting nowhere, I fear this'll have to do until I can figure out a better way.
Again, though, I'm not trying to sound like I'm complaining or overly criticizing and I desperately want to avoid sounding like as such if I can. It's just one writer to another trying to give what he wants very much to be helpful input to try and make a good story even better. Today, though, I feel like I'm not being very successful at that goal, and I apologize.
At any rate, I certainly don't intend to stop reading the story or anything like that just yet over this, so know you at least have that much.
8899315
Don't talk in third person. Makes you sound like a pretentious asshole.
The is a horrid double entendre to leave it on! Toy shipping wise obviously, nuzzles and nips and all that but stilL!
I’d say skip the romance tag. It’s not the stories main focus and it will make new readers look for it instead of letting it develope naturally as they read.
Fun chapter.
i am definitly enjoying these little snippets. wonder how Nights mane looks now.
Yeah, that biology study session sure paid off.
Add it. This is what is known as a slow burn romance. It may take years for them to get a clue.
At this point, yeah I think it's time for the Romance tag.
8899602
See, that's where a lot of people that read Romance differ.
On one hand, plenty of people enjoy an imidiet romance that dives right into the thick of the relationship,
On the other you have people like me who prefer a more slow burn to its progression, have them start as friends, let us get to know them, make the progression towards the relationship a part of the overarching plot in a way that feels more natural.
Neither is wrong, both types of Romance story's have their ups and downs, it all just comes back to the readers tastes.
Like all the others say, with how Night and Diamond act around each, it's an slow burn Romance, by still Romance. And also Scoots and
Rumble, too.
And this chapter, once again all the dawws.~
-Captain Absolution
8898938
Yes, I'm sure they were studying very important biology.
they're
gallivanting [hm learned something myself, I was convinced it was gallivating without the "n"]
8899488 Alondro does not particularly care about opinions from the little people. He has far too much work to do counting his billions and having tax loopholes made specifically for him.
8900598
Actually, it seems galavant can be spelled both ways, at least when I check it in the dictionary. The way I used it says to refer to the way you spell it.
Sun witch is best witch.
I'm thinking of getting on board the Night Diamonds ship, I'm kind of feeling it.
Okay, now I'm really feeling it.
Edit: Add the tag. Between the ongoing Scoots & Rumble relationship and the slowly playing out Night & Diamond one, I think there's enough romance content to merit it.