• Member Since 16th Dec, 2015
  • offline last seen May 22nd

RedtheDestroyer


I write what I think can work as a great piece of fiction. That's the author way.

Comments ( 41 )

Edge, generic pony creator profile pic, and tag salad.
Whelp...

Not bad, lots of typo's and mistakes, and honestly a bit bland. all I can say is put more discription into the sexual actions, I know it can be hard. (been trying with this medium and others for a while) but its worth a shot. Either way I will gladly stay for more.

Descent story idea. Well, now that Shadows has Discord's power, he has plenty of options.

For example using that power she can make Mistmane a beautiful mare again.
He could transform any of the Stallions into mares.
He could turn them into statues.
He could corrupt the stallions(Ex turning Starswirl into young muscular stallion bent on fucking. A Himbo.) For reference please refer to Return to room 69. and what happened to Flash Mac and Spike.
He could make the stallions he faithful followers so they can fuck the mares as well.

Just some ideas. have fun.

Well. Twilight went down faster than I thought. Can you make Spike get caught up in the corruption as well. The pony of shadows many like having a dragon underline, whos only payment is fucking a certain white unicorn.

Does this story have femdom in it?

8484073
Like how you think. Thanks for the idea.

I love the idea Sage has. As for the femdom there's so many possibities. The pony of shadow could take a liking for fluttershy and make her choose her own pet.

she is one of the four princesses of Equestria: the Princess of 'Friendship'

Five - there Flurry Heart as well

Good job with Spike. That was impressive. It looks like Spike may have started Lust growth. You know this chapter does bring up 2 good points. One there are going to be lots of pregnancies due to this. Maybe have Twilight work up a spell to prevent unwanted births.

Secondly, its great to see that Shadows is getting lackeys who aren't mind controlled. Only needing a bit of persuasion. I wonder who else would be a good candidate for this?

As for suggestions, since lots of people liked my last one, I say, lets make loyalty and bravery fuck each other crazy. I would find it funny if Shadows corrupted Dash, and Dash took on her hero counterpart and made him into a horn dog.

But since dragons can be placed in Spike Harem, lets add Ember, and maybe permanently cock block Garbble for all the crap he has given Spike.

8496068
Thanks for your input of ideas and points, sage. I've got some interesting combos to try out.

Is this supposed to be in past or present tense? The first paragraph alone alternates between the two a few times.

8496356
Sorry about that. I have a slight problem with that. It supposed to be actions happening in the present.

8496445
No problem. If you need some help editing, feel free to shoot me a message.

Some words missing or used incorrectly. For example:

Spike stayed silent for a while thinking the scenarios over and over again. All of which could lead very well for him or end up getting him thrown into prison for life. He sighed. "Alright, I agree to your terms. As long as you withhold yours."

That would mean Spike asking him to not tell him the terms. "Uphold" is the word you're looking for.

Also, writers commonly put a comma before the name when characters address one another in dialogue. The reason for this is that not doing so can lead to unclear meanings. Example:

"I want to come inside Rainbow Dash!"

is not the same as

"I want to come inside, Rainbow Dash!"

I don't have many positions.

I know 69, cowgirl, missionary, the missionary while pushing girls back against the wall, doggy (anal), gangbang, but that's all i can think off.

Please no one kill me or report anything.

8543423
He did it to get a nervous reaction out of the target he's planning for.

First chapter, second paragraph, first sentence (which is, as well, the second sentence overall): "hopful".
And there go my expectations for this story.

Interesting. Good job turning the girls against eachother. That was a little bit funny to read.

Does that mean Big Mac::eeyup: is going to get fuck and turn into a first male sex slave? Because to me that would be awesome. Just my opinion:moustache:

Wow. It looks like we have Big Mac now in the army. i wonder what Shadow plans for him? Great job here.

Comment posted by RedtheDestroyer deleted May 30th, 2018

Spike didn't have to confirm his suspicions to know who that was. Previous Dragon Lord Ember greeted me with an equally firm hug rubbing her fair share of breast mesh in his chest.

Suddenly first person!

Also, did you mean "errand"? I have no idea what an "erron" is.

9672843
Oops! That's two mistakes! Thanks for catching that.

Edit: They're fixed. The "errons" was a failed attempt at spelling "errands" correctly.

Wonder when Spike or Pony of Shadows reach Luna, shenanigans with Nightmare Moon will pop up?
Like the darkness that is her is restored within Luna and she persuades the princess to bring eternal night(which Pony of Shadows might like) and usurp Celestia again.
I keep imagining Spike and Shadows ending up bonding more. Like due to him sharing similarities with Stygian like how they ended up being in the respective groups' shadows and stuff.
Do wonder if Shadows would get Stygian back to his side again. Or even turns out Stygian actually misses him and stuff.

Kind of interested in this story btw.

9863368
Thanks for the comment, nightshroud. You'll see in due time what awaits the fate of Stygian, the Pillars, and the celestial body sisters. His pull for absolute darkness is strong, so it could be possible to bring out even a sliver of dark intentions from anypony. Being an ebodiment of darkness has its perks.

this is actually very bad

9863499
Sad this was left hanging

Does Spike get Smolder and Ocellus too?

"she seemed to pick up spead" Unsure what spead is.
Good story despite some spelling errors.

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