“Sister, what do I do?”
“We wish we could help you,” said Luna, looking to her older sister, who stood at the window, gazing towards the garden. Celestia was watching her student learn to fly, Twilight’s friends helping and comforting her. Luna knew Celestia was in pain—there were dark decisions to be made. “But our wisdom is less than yours, sister.”
“… at least she will not be alone,” said Celestia, looking away from the window and joining Luna on the pillowed floor. The privacy of the room allowed them to act informally, lounging as more normal ponies did. “Her friends … her wonderful friends will never abandon her.”
“You feared they would, did you not?” asked Luna.
“I did—but that turned out to be Discord’s magic at work,” said Celestia with a sigh and a soft smile. “They were venomous, though, and I feared that even after his defeat they would pull apart. The one blessing of this all seems to be that they’ve drawn even closer around Twilight.”
“Discord’s magic always did work in strange ways,” said Luna with a lightness to her tone. “And we admit, we have missed the cotton candy clouds and chocolate rain.”
“… that is the problem as well,” said Celestia sadly. “Twilight is Twilight and Discord is Discord. We know, even with his powers, she will be responsible and kind. But will others see it that way? I-I have, over the years, over-shielded my ponies from harm. Most fear strangeness—even a zebra is met with surprise. Dragons and griffons are seen as fierce beasts. Twilight’s appearance will be almost worse—she looks familiar enough that they can recognize her as a pony, but is so …”
“Different,” said Luna, helping her sister.
“… different, that she will seem all the more grotesque.”
From below they heard a burst of laughter and sensed Twilight had used magic again.
“I have known many a pony who looked upon grievous scars as a badge of honor,” said Luna, looking her sister in the eyes. “Knights and adventurers who bragged of their wounds as trophies. If we told everyone that her transformation was such a result and that she had been tasked with custodianship of Discord’s magic as a further service …”
“… it could work,” said Celestia with a nod. “And I have considered it. It would be ideal, for her to be accepted as the hero she is. But I feel that the wounds from Discord’s attack are still too fresh for ponies to be comfortable with such knowledge.”
“It would be better to re-open the wounds now rather than later, either by accident or on purpose,” said Luna. “I am told stitches hurt worse than the cut, but they let it heal faster.”
“… and you say I am wiser,” replied Celestia. “Tell me, sister, where did you learn of earth pony medicine?”
“One does not spend a year in the library reading of a era’s changes without learning a few things,” nickered Luna. “Though there are still many books to read before I am within a century of the modern age.”
“Hmm—it may be best for you to get out and see today yourself, sister,” said Celestia, standing. “You know of the upcoming festival of Nightmare Night?”
“… I’ve ordered a custom carriage just for it,” said Luna, glancing aside. A little blush took to her cheeks and she smiled—she had to be excited if she dropped the royal “we” from her speech. “And I daresay you’ve seen the guards I selected for my escort.”
“I have—you always liked such strange stallions,” laughed Celestia, nuzzling her sister. “I’ve never understood why you like them so macabre.”
“And I’ll never understand why you like yours pure as the driven snow,” countered Luna, rising to join her sister. They laughed, then departed for their separate duties.
“Okay, that’s the last of the nougat,” said Rainbow Dash, flicking a few flecks from her fetlocks.
“I’m really, really sorry,” Twilight Sparkle apologized again, bowing to her friends as they finished cleaning. “I didn’t think candy clouds were that hard to control.”
“mmrm mEUmdf muffrughuh!” Pinkie Pie tried to say something, but she was currently face-first into a gigantic pile of candy filling, so it was hard to understand what she’d said.
“So, dear, now that you’ve got flight down well enough, do you think we could get some lunch?” asked Rarity, magically brushing her tail back out. “We’ve an open invitation to dine in the Palace, and while it was delicious, that cake earlier did not stay with me.”
“Of course!” said Twilight, beaming. “I’ll lead the way to the kitchens!”
“Oh, Twi, ah’m not sure that’d be the best idea,” said Applejack, trotting over. “Uh, see, you know how skittish those big tough guards were?”
“Oh, yeah, the cooks would probably die of fright when they saw me,” said Twilight, blinking as she remembered. “We could simply go to one of the smaller dining rooms, and Spike could send them our order. When they come I’ll make myself invisible—wait, let’s see if I can do that.”
She stomped a hoof. Rather than vanishing, she changed color, her coat and body becoming camouflaged against her surroundings—a disguise which was ruined when she took a few steps and it no longer matched the background.
“Aaaarrrggg, I hate this stupid magic,” she sighed, tossing her mane as she changed back to normal. “It keeps doing almost what I want. And if I don’t focus on being specific, it does whatever it feels like!”
“That does make sense,” said Rainbow Dash with a shrug. “I got the feeling that Discord was only half in control of himself. I mean, did you see all the times he did something that didn’t match what he was trying to do?”
“Like when he tried to drink chocolate milk and accidentally drank the glass,” said Rarity with a nod. “Perhaps, Twilight, it’s not fully possible to control his magic.”
“Well, that’s great news,” Twilight said sarcastically. “Because I was so good at avoiding disaster before I had chaos magic leaking out of my ears—hey! That’s not fair!”
True, it was not fair, but as confetti and streamers burst from her ears, it was funny.
“All right, laugh it up,” said Twilight with a half-smile. “But I’m not going to rest until I’ve figured out how to make that happen to you.”
Sterling Silver was not an easy pony to ruffle. Like his namesake metal, he was a pony of dignity, poise, and durability. Perhaps the more metallic guards, such as Iron Cross and Steeltail, were of a more doughty and tough breed, but there were few things that could make Canterlot’s Master of Luncheons and Late Brunches upset.
At least, other than the kitchen staff using dish soap on some of the second-century pressed gold plateware. He’d been so livid he’d shouted himself into the hospital and had to take a week off after that.
But now, he was in a bind.
He, like the rest of the staff, knew of the hullabaloo from this morning when the Royal Guard had comported themselves as foals in a thunderstorm. The Captain of the Guard had locked himself in his quarters and was refusing to come out, preventing anypony from finding out what it had been about.
Rumors had abounded—from Discord returning (Sterling Silver had scoffed, as he knew that the beast had been bested) to Twilight Sparkle waking up in a magical rage and attacking everypony she met (He’d dismissed this on account of seeing the Princess walking about in an improved mood, and that would not have happened if her prize pupil was on the warpath).
Then he had been summoned by Spike, Twilight Sparkle’s familiar and an old acquaintance, to the Southern Dining Hall. The little dragon wished to place a lunch order for the Elements of Harmony, and Sterling Silver had been only too happy to accept. But when Sterling Silver had arrived, he’d immediately noticed how worried the dragon looked, repeatedly checking the door.
He’d accepted the parchment with their requests and retreated, watching the dragon scamper back inside.
He’d crept to the door and looked inside to see what was going on.
He’d nearly fainted.
The room had been transformed brutally, with the wall mosaics moving and dancing about and the chairs flying though the air. The Elements of Harmony dodged and bucked for their lives, streams of streamers bearing down on them from the empty air. And in the middle of the room, roaring, was a grotesque beast—it seemed to be Discord, but in the body of a pony.
A body he recognized. Twilight Sparkle.
He’d fled. The earth pony didn’t know what to make of the situation—he needed more information. He dared not intrude lest he be caught in the maelstrom of magic—he still remembered the hours of trying to control the castle’s cutlery during Discord’s first attack and shivered as he remembered one particularly vindictive butcher knife that had sought to deflank him.
What could he do?
He passed the throne room—Princess Celestia was meeting with ponies like nothing was wrong. She had to be able to sense the magic, so he knew something had gotten to her. She’d initially fled Discord, hadn’t she? And the guard, the guard was gone. It seemed like they had all abandoned their posts.
But as he skidded to a halt in front of the kitchen doors his quandary hit.
He was the Master of Lunches and Late Brunches.
It was his duty to feed anything that requested food between nine in the morning and two in the afternoon.
Did he flee for his life and leave his sacred duty unfulfilled? Or did he do his job, the one that defined his very being, and risk being reduced to a pot roast by a perilous possessed paring knife?
He checked the parchment. Twilight Sparkle had ordered a daisy and rosebud sandwich with potato chips.
As he continued to panic, he wondered if that information had any sort of affect on his decision.
“Okay, that’s it, no more magic for the rest of today!” shouted Twilight, kicking the last chair to the ground.
“Finally!” shouted Rainbow Dash. “This is getting ridiculous.”
“Ridiculously awesome!” cheered Pinkie, rolling in a pile of streamers. Twilight tapped a hoof and they vanished. Behind them Fluttershy and Applejack had finished boxing the murals back into their rightful places. “This is so great, Twilight! We get to have an adventure every five minutes now!”
“I’m not sure that’s an improvement, Pinkie,” sighed Twilight as things finally settled back down. “I mean, that was crazy! All I was trying to do was walk though the room and I just happened to think a few things! And they happened—I had no control! Every time my hoof touches the ground crazy things can happen!”
“It’s too bad you don’t have an switch for your magic or something,” muttered Spike, sweeping up a pile of popped balloons.
“Yeah, then I make ‘oops, did I turn you on?’ jokes all the time,” muttered Pinkie Pie with a giggle.
“A-actually, that would be pretty nice,” said Twilight, looking to her hooves. “Uh, what Spike said, not what Pinkie said. Maybe if my hooves didn’t actually touch the ground—oh, I’ve got an idea!”
“Fly everywhere for the rest of your life?” asked Dash, raising an eyebrow. “Uh, tried that. Even I couldn’t manage it.”
“No, shoes!” said Twilight.
“Oh, I like this plan already!” said Rarity, rushing to Twilight’s side. “You mean magic ones, of course, and I am just the pony to help you with that!”
“Uh … I was looking to make my hooves safe, not stylish,” said Twilight awkwardly as Rarity began to grow starry eyed.
“Who says you can’t do both?” stated Rarity, leaning over to look at Twilight’s hooves. “Hmm, well, the most obvious thing to do would be to give you full hoof coverings—you know, like the golden ones Celestia wears?”
“I-I’m not sure I’m comfortable with that!” stammered Twilight, drawing the closest leg to Rarity away. “I-I don’t want her to think I think that I’m like her - I mean, as in, you know!”
“Mm, I can see the issue, but it’s simply our best option, dear,” said Rarity, standing back up straight. “And they are finally coming back into fashion, too—I applaud the Princess for staying with a garment she liked regardless of how appropriate it was to trends in modern shoeing, but she’s going to be laughing now! They’ll be all the rage in three months and she’ll already have a full set of classic pieces!”
“Getting a little off topic there, Rarity,” said Twilight.
“Nah, let her talk about hooves some more,” Pinkie said with a giggle.
“I think some nice steel ones would suit you better than gold,” said Rarity, taking out a parchment and quill. “And you may not like it, but I think it would be best to play them off your appearance—it’ll be a unique look that nopony else will be able to copy. I’ll match one to your tail with a scale-mesh look, red gem, another to the pegasus wing with a blue gem … those will be the back hooves … front … one molded to look like dragon horn … oh, and one plain steel one with a pink and purple gem to match your mane …”
“Ah think we lost her,” said Applejack, waving her hoof in front of Rarity’s face. The unicorn did not notice.
“Well, uh, let’s just let her do her thing,” said Twilight, taking a seat.
“Hey, time for another scene change!” said Pinkie Pie, looking around. “I wonder if it’s going to be about the Luncheon Master again!”
“… I swear, you make less and less sense as time goes on,” said Rainbow Dash, giving Pinkie Pie a quizzical look.
“Oh, and make sure that Madam Applejack’s pie had been properly powdered with sugar—not very much, just enough to highlight the crust.”
The kitchen staff obeyed diligently as Sterling Silver watched, grateful that he’d finally stopped hyperventilating into a bag. By now, they all knew of the issue at hoof—but if the Master of Lunches and Late Brunches wasn’t abandoning their post, they wouldn’t either.
Plus, it would give them something to lord over the goldbricking Guard.
“All seven meals are finished, sir,” said the head chef, indicating the food cart. It was covered in trays for meals and desserts—one could order anything they wanted from the Canterlot Kitchen, but they would get a lot of other delicacies as well.
“Very well,” said Sterling Sliver, standing up straight. “Everypony, listen up. I personally will take the meal to the hall. If I have not returned in fifteen minutes, or I return and my head is a radish, you are to flee at your own discretion.”
Seeing a number of nods, he bit onto the handle and began to push the cart though the hall.
It was a long walk back to the hall. The doors came into view slowly, and, with a heavy heart, he knocked on the door. He heard scrambling from the other side and fought the urge to flee. A moment later, the door opened.
Spike and an earth pony in a farmer’s hat stood there. Behind them, the room seemed normal save for a few out-of-place chairs and a white unicorn drawing and muttering to herself.
“Uh, ah’ll take it from here,” said the farmer, taking the cart. Spike gestured with his paw—Sterling Silver recognized it as dragon sign language, the dragon’s thumb pointing to the sky. That meant “good job”. He nodded and turned.
After the door shut, he checked the make sure that his head was not a vegetable. Finding it normal, he trotted towards the kitchen to inform the staff that things were under control.
Then he would break down the door of the Captain of the Guard and raise the alarm.
55998 Huh. Never seen a comment say "five stars" and then tell me I'd written everything wrong. Well, live a little every day!
you can give us the link to the pictures, thank you ?
Huh, I was half-expecting Twilight to make an actual off switch; I'm sure that would probably be within the scope of her powers as the new lord of chaos. Then again, I may only be thinking that because screwball did it in Equestria: Total War (although I wouldn't really want Twi' to go batshit insane and randomly killing people by turning them into flipflops either). Anyway, great story; can't wait to see what the crap the cook is about to start.
Yay! Great chapter! Poor Twi.
56032 Didn't know the off swtich thing had been done before - yeah, and there will be No Grimdark in this story.
56038 Yeah. Luck just ain't her thing.
Hoo boy, the proverbial horse manure is about to hit the fan.
For some reason I have this nagging feeling of Deja Vù... I can't place it, and I love the story.
But I can't shake the feeling that... I dunno... that this has been done before? Then again it feels like the "memory" it's being drawn upon is a lot older than my bronydom...
It might just have been something I dreamt. Good job nonetheless, I do love the story.
Tracking this because Twilight Sparkle with alicorn-tier powers is always relevant to my interests. (Contingent, of course, upon the story also being well-written. Which this is. So, hooray!)
I guess Twilight is sort of an uncanny valley for everypony.
56154 I would kill to hear her VA say that.
56166 Awww, thanks! Hope I can keep it up!
56180 Yeah. It's weirder when you know them.
Twilight plus chaos magic...
I really like this. Both concept and execution are very well done, and I always love a blantantly metafictional Pinkie Pie. Watching you as of now, and I look forward to more.
first chapter is a david bowie song
reading this
I'm hoping for a joke where Twilight mentions something about Rainbow Dash '...going at a ludicrous speed." and accidentally stomping her hooves.
56314
And of course Rainbow's streaky afterimage being plaid :D
Twilight won't be getting away with just the shoes, Rarity's muse has come out to play.
You're dangling some kind of carrot in front of us with that whole two hearts bit arn't you? Fine be that way you're just lucky I love carrots.
I like. I very much like! look forward to more!
Hey, not bad so far! I'd like to see this featured on EQD (if not already done so)!
You got yourself a reader, imma check this everyday for updates.
So let me see what this chapter revealed about Pinkie:
"Oops, did I turn you on?" = She has strange sexual fantasies about Twilight. Teehee!
"Nah, let her talk about hooves some more" = She has a foot fetish . . . or you're alluding to her comment from an earlier chapter.
"Hey, time for another scene change!" = She apparently is reading this story with me. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . (looks around the room). . . . . . (closet creaks open). . . . . . . (turns and looks at the closet). . . . . . . . . .
Me =
When I read this line, "“ Nah, let her talk about hooves some more.” Pinkie said with a giggle.", what immediately came to my mind was, Giggidy.
So apparently Pinkie Pie has Quagmire's foot/hoof fetish, huh?
well, they're right about one thing, if discord's magic was the power of chaos then there may indeed be no way to truly control it as chaos can't be controlled/predicted/etc.
wonder how weird this'll get later on
56188 Man, this site is serious about grammar and typos. My editors for my REAL jobs have cared less about typos - then again, I write dialog, so thats less of an issue.
56206 Yeah, metafic Pinkie is so much fun. It gives the author a chance to MST themselves.
56377 Yeah, I've submitted to EQD before. They've told me I have to do so many edits - to fix the basic grammer of almost every sentence, for example - that it wasn't worth the effort.
56461 I hid a Pinkie doll in my fiancee's room, in the heating grate that looks down at her bed. I had painted the eyes with glow in the dark paint. She was not amused (she got me back, but I still won that one). Pinkie is creepy.
56537 Well, maybe not Quagmires, but she'd definitely into them in this fic.
*Going on 11:30*
Brain "Nathan go to bed its late"
Me "No I have to check for updates"
Brain "You need sleep to not be bitchy"
Me "Look PotatoJoe posted another update :D"
Brain "NO! YOU HAVE TO GO TO SLEEP"
Me "No you're just stupid and never have good plans"
Brain "I have a lot of good plans"
Me "Name one"
Brain "There was that one time when we skipped 3 period and had a great lunch"
Me "And how did that end?"
Brain "We took an arrow to the knee"
Me "No, I took and arrow to the knee you laughed at me. So I'm going to read this and you can't stop me"
Brain "Why did you write all this"
Me "It seemed like a good idea at the time. you know what? I don't need this from you I'm going to bed"
Look at all my spelling errors and despair for I am Tictac lord of pointless grammatical mistakes
I'm gonna say this. i've been trying to avoid tracking new stories. i have too many ones that i'm tracking, though they dont all update very frequently.
nonetheless, i couldn't help but check the box next to "track." this is just so well written, save for a few minor grammatical/spelling errors, which honestly look more like typos that went unnoticed. i may even be wrong. i'm not an english major. but great job. i hope this keeps up the awesome. i dont doubt that it will
oh, and i LOVE how you write Pinkie Pie. just saying.
pinkie: crazy, split-personality, yet still so much fun lol and random (odd comment of twilight as a stallion in previous chapter )
You'd think with the way everyone reacts to everything all over this place, it's all on the same level but it's not! Learn to see that more clearly.
My opinion of this is overall, excellent so far, but I will never agree that ANYPONY is as mighty as Discord, no matter what magical accident they went through. Sounded to me as though there was a half-and-half trade between them at the start there. But keep on writing, old chap!
56682 Where were the typos? I'd be glad to fix them. I'm a crap proofreader - I focus on dialog more than setting writing, so it's a problem for me.
Would that "oops, did I turn you on again?" line happen to be from MST3K? I love trying to pick out references authors throw into these stories.
56783 Yep, MST3K. I slip in refrences to it all the time. Best Show Ever.
This chapter. I liked it.
ANOTHER!! *smashes glass on the ground*
potato joe writes more awesome things? i must look into this.
Liking this alot more than I thought I would but I do hope we get a scene with Twilight and her parents together before Celestia's cover story comes out. They reaction and Twilighter reaction to that could be gold of so many flavours (I blame Discords magic for the metaphor)
Dear Celestia, Pinkie breaking the fourth wall. Bravo.
This seems to me to be your standard Twilight-becomes-an-alicorn story with discord thrown in there.
Which also seems to be what actually happened.
Also, some of the stray chaos magic must have hit Pinkie and given her 4th-wall powers.
Only way I can explain it in-universe.
5 stars.
Very nice story! I'm eagerly awaiting to see where it goes next ^^
Getting Twilight familiar with her new powers could easily mean her turning... closer to their chaotic nature, and in all honesty, personally I would love to see where it would develop from there.
But I guess you have your ideas already, so I'll leave you to them! Keep up the good work!
Yes! This is awesome!
As I said on the first chapter just a few minutes ago, I suggest going over everything and working out the various issues with grammar. Other than that, I'm loving this. Also, what in the world possessed you to make Pinkie into an online perv? It fits perfectly
Hilarious, yet I confess I'm not sure I like how you write Pinkie Pie.
"If I have not returned in fifteen minutes, or I return and my head is a radish, you are to flee at your own discretion."
That is so something i would say in his situation
*sips glass before throwing chocolate milk over shoulder*
Celestia is going about it in the wrong way. A proper announcement would have kept most of the panic down.
Like Luna said, present it as a war wound or a scar. "Twilight fought for us all, and only through her effort was Discord defeated. But she has suffered because of it."
SPOILER ALERT!!!
“ Different.” said Luna, helping her sister.
-Ah yes... "The Uncanny Valley" (if you don't know what that is, look it up on Wikipedia or TVTropes* or something).
*Use TVTtropes responsibly. Dragon not responsible for any lost sleep, missed educational assignments, lost work hours, or any other problems. Dragon WILL however smile smugly if anyone reading this ends up acing their language arts classes due to learning done on TVTropes.
“...I’ve ordered a custom carriage just for it.”
-Good continuity building...
“ Okay, thats the last of a nougat.” said Rainbow Dash, flicking a few flecks from her fetlocks.
-Sure you don't mean "the nougat"?
And if I don’t focus on being specific, it does whatever it feels like!”
-When reading the previous sentence I had thought that "loosening up" and "riding the wave" would be the order of the day... this sentence makes that less likely, but not impossible.
“ Like when he tried to drink chocolate milk and accidentally drank the glass.”
-That never happened in this time-line I don't think. Also, I prefer to think that Discord's mind and magic were perfectly well coordinated, but... this isn't me writing the story, now is it?
DISHSOAP on some of the second century pressed gold plateware.
-I was... unaware this was a bad idea... I pulled some gold-plated utensils out of a pile of stuff left when someone skipped out on their lease/morgage... not that I ever USED it, so I never had reason to wash it...
so he knew something had gotten to her.
-An assumption that might cause severe problems.
He was the Master of Lunches and Late Brunches.
It was his duty to feed anything that requested food between nine in the morning and two in the afternoon.
-9 AM seems like an EARLY Brunch to me.
As he continued to panic, he wondered if that information had any sort of affect on his decisions.
-Well, yes, in as much as it demonstrates she still prefers ordinary pony-type food... then again, even Discord only detoured from that in the case of the ironic milk-glass.
or I return and my head is a radish, you are to flee at your own discretion.”
-This last phrase made me LOL. The juxiposition of "stiff upper lip" with the understanding that their really is a danger, and they really are civilians leads to a very frank statement.
Spike and an earth pony in a farmers hat stood there.
-"farmer's"
said the farmer, taking the card.
-cart
Spike gestured with his paw - he recognized it as dragon sign language, his thumb pointing to the sky. That meant “good job”.
-Interesting subtle underlining of the fact that Ponies don't have fingers (actually they technically have one toe on each limb).
Then he would break down the door of the Captain of the Guard and raise the alarm.
-1.) Mood whiplash relative to the previous sentence (I approve). 2.) This could cause problems.
OK sometimes when people create a system, or information not given in the show, it is sort of lame.
But the Dragon Sign Language was great! I am still laughing.
i have feeling pinkie has a hoof fetish
I'm surprised that nopony made a "Chocolate Rain" Joke, So I will!
Chocolate Rain! Victory! I turn away from the mike to puke rainbows
Well, Twilight seems to be taking it all well enough.
*sees last sentence*
Oh that Sterlin Silver is just radishculously paranoid
Great chapter!
56032 Technically, wouldn't Twilight be the Lady of Chaos?