A Mare with a yellow coat and a brown mane and tail trotted along with a small colt beside her and one in a saddlebag. They stop in the road and the colt looks toward a bush with a butterfly on it. Suddenly an ebony long hand bursts out and grabs the colt’s face. There was a flash and the mare looked down to see just a leg left of the colt, the bone protruding from the end. She gives a yelp and a dark misty creature came out singing.
“Excitement abounds. I almost can’t wait!” He brings her close, “Relax, I don’t want your baby I already ate.”
He pulled the foal out of the bag, “Though I do tend to generally kill, kill things that” He tosses the baby aside, the mare chasing it, “don’t fight back.”
Gunhaver comes upon a picturesque village with the name of Ponyville, “I see this village. What does it hold? What shall I butcher them with fire or cold?” His hands lit up respectively.
A brown stallion saw him and ran away yelling. “Coming from me, sure you’ll think, ‘He’s a pathological, homicidal, bloodthirsty maniac!” Gunhaver sang as he melted several nearby ponies’ faces off.
Fluttershy came by with several pets in tow. Gunhaver gazed at her and pointed at her pets, “I kill kittens and puppies and bunnies.” Each one exploding in a fountain of blood. Fluttershy’s eyes turned to pinpricks as the blood covered her.
Gunhaver went over to the school house. Colts and fillies of different ages played in the yard. Gunhaver picked up two random ones by their heads. “I maim toddlers and teens and then more.” The children turned to ash.
Gunhaver skipped over to Sugarcube Corner where Mr. and Mrs. Cake were minding the counter. “You see a wife, I see a widow.” Gunhaver ripped Mr. Cake’s head off and tossed it to her, “but what then? Can’t you see? I’d kill four.”
Gunhaver stood in the town square, “I want to incinerate and decapitate. I want to melt, want to melt some faces.” He ripped the faces off of Flitter and Cloudchaser and floated to the nearby grave yard.
“Watching the peasant, Oh what do they call it? Ah, grieve.” He walked away and casually tossed a fireball at the weeping ponies.
Gunhaver picked up a small puppy, “I suppose being undead, there’s not much to life. A soul is needed for loving, feeling. How does this not make me, oh what’s the word?” He dropkicked the puppy straight to Appleoosa, “Heave.”
Gunhaver set a home aflame revealing the ponies hiding inside, “You’ve nowhere to hide,” The ponies run in to the tree library, which suffered the same fate. “You’ve nowhere to run. Your village will burn like the heart of the sun!” Gunhaver’s hand were covered in fire, “With infinite glee, it’s going to be me that slaughters the wooorld.”
Gunhaver Stood next to some ponies, holding AppleJack, “How can I stare into these eyes and then not stab them?” He took two fingers and gouged her eyes out. He held them up in front of his own, “How can I glare at their loss and then not laugh.” He squished the eyes and brought Big Mac up and drew a blade against his throat.
“I’d cut him in half and then I’d graft his head back onto his shoulders. Or after I’d lop it” which he did, “I’d make a puppet, on top of a stave” He placed Mac’s head on a stick.
Mayor mare spoke in Gun’s voice, “I am a lord that is sometimes bored.” Gunhaver’s arm appeared below the neck, his hand inside the skull. “Have some urges and need to fulfill them.” He pulled her head off his hand and held it.
“After my mayhem I simply don’t, what’s the word? Care!” He tossed the head over his shoulder and kicked it away into a pile of heads behind him. The town square was now the center of destruction, with bodies lying about in mangled poses in interesting forms of death, and ponies locked up awaiting their fate.
“The stench in the air, the smell of the gore, a carnage far greater than any war!” His fist raised to the sky. He sighed and lowered it, “My legacy. Death becomes me. I’ll slaughter the world.”
High above, Rainbow Dash was performing a stunt when she was suddenly zapped by lightning and she corkscrewed down into the ground.
forum.idle-games.com/attachment.php?attachmentid=2349&d=1343671122
That was beautiful.....
*wipes tears*
Gamer evil is different from this, really?
Huh.
I thought Gunhaver was holding back for now because he doesn't want to bring Elite mobs down on his head and was just waiting til he leveled up more.
So he's NOT a pansy, just running on a different scale of Evil.
Thanks for clearing that up.
1059513Gunhaver is a nerd. A nerd with an engineering major. if you value your existence,YOU DO NOT FUCK WITH THEM!
When you play games, don't you ever want to kill certain characters just to spite them or because they're really annoying? Play the Fable Series to understand Gun's point of view on evil.
plus while he has a twisted sense of right and wrong, i got a few twists to throw at him to make it more interesting. just wait for the next chapter.
1059538
I have the Fable series, it's good fun despite only needing one button to win most battles.
And I thoroughly enjoyed... playing with my subjects.
The Force Unleashed also provided me with several hours of glorious tormenting of virtual beings.
Those poor, poor jawas.
I'm a gamer myself and I was just curious with how much regard he has shown for the NPCs.
You'd almost think he cared about them.
Maybe drain a pet or two when no-one's looking then dump the body.
Waiting to see the zebra outlive his usefullness and then get nommed.
It's just business you know.
And he better do some serious griefing when the opportunity arises or his gaming cred will be cast into doubt.
1059595He's a team player but he's the last person you want on your ass, especially if you have something he wants. As for NPC's he treats them with the respect they give him until it comes to authority. Then it's trolling time.
Basically, you help him, he helps you. He returns what you give to him in equal measure. Emphaisis on equal.
1059640
Ah.
A Professional, I can respect that.
Still, can't wait to see if some of the good ol' Gamer Cruelty shows up when he acquires higher level spells.
Might I suggest Adficio Templum (Area Drain) or Umbra Laqueo (Shadow Snare)?
1059725 He has much worse and they are just basic spells like Carpe and Depulso.
A professional isn't one who learned a thousand moves. A professional is one who uses one move a thousand ways.
1059761
Excellent.
... ...For pony...
In respose to this i leave this link http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/VideoGameCrueltyPotential
And if he is anything like me when it comes to video games just remember he still thinks it's only a video game and noone except him and the other players is real .
in jade empire i was an asshole to every npc i met yet still somehow got the "good" ending and items that entails...
I honestly wanted to stay away from the Chest Game of the Gods series, but this is just getting TOO good!
I can't wait to see how Gunhaver manages to screw things over by going with the it's just a game theory later on... In addition, I'm wondering when he'll learn it's not just a game.
Probably when he almost actually dies (which is probably gonna happen. Who DOESN'T die at least once in an MMO from being less than cautious?)
Richard ftw!
1066916 dude i love your icon. I'm going to do that to my friends one day.
I had to find this, since I was singing it in my head after I remembered what the lyrics were from.
Beautiful
we are from the same mind... gamers evil...
i have a friend playing along with all kinds of games... until we started playing RPG's, i was just playing and he called me evil, now we fighting each other online but nothing could be seen in the real world, darkness beside the light why cant reality work like that >.>
Gamer evil...Like how everyone I know kills that one annoying ass priest in Whiterun.
right in da feels
1060941
Dude, nice. LFG is the shit. I was so happy when I read this chapter.
Anyway, you did get a little bit of the lyrics wrong, musicman.
It's "I maim toddlers and teens and then more."
Not kill.
Oh well. Good fic so far, I hope Gun realizes its real pretty soon, it's starting to grate on me that he still thinks it is a game.
1059538 The Elder Scrolls and Fallout are good examples too.
having second thoughts about this job
LFG
RICHARD
YES
FUCK YEAH
He only slaughters the world for Pony!
You killed R.D. I'm sad now.
I am so horrified at the imagery that I cannot speak or close of gaping mouth. Good thin I have hands to do that for me.
I'm guessing this was a joke? If it was, then it was funny, but if you're making it story-canon then it wasn't.
i.imgur.com/QVBCLpd.png
I sang along. I feel no regret.
It does my heart good to see that there are people who respect the mighty Lord of the Dance.
That was so beautiful. I crie evry tiem.
2585774
It says SPOOF in the title. You really think the CGOTG would allow anyone to actually off one of the Mane Six?
Yes. All of my yes.
You sir (or ma'am) deserve a medal
so have some facial hair
By the gods this was wonderful
I sang along while listening to the video simply glorious
You my fine fellow (or lady) have gained my complete and utter respect have this
I'm only up to chapter 18 right now but I keep coming back to this so I can laugh I know you'll probably not have that come true because CGOTG wouldn't allow it and the character so far is not somebody that would cause mass death of what he thinks are NPC's for no reason but it is good to hope