Trumpet

by Crystal Wishes

Super Squeezy

Crystal Wishes was enjoying a quiet afternoon with a good book, a glass of fine wine, and a plate of aged cheeses. The only way it could have been more perfect was if it had been a plate of chocolates, but it was rare for her mother to send her a gift, so the least she could do was enjoy it right away.

She sipped on her wine while the protagonist—a strong-willed mare by the name of Starshine—ventured deeper into the dark forest. Searching for a rare flower that was rumored to grant a heart's desire, Starshine was determined to not return home with empty hooves.

Back in her hometown, Starshine's own heart's desire lived unaware of her feelings for him. He was a simple barber with a warm smile and a kind heart. The only problem was he was too kind—he treated everypony like family, so it was difficult to get him to acknowledge her as more than that.

Crystal's magic reached out blindly and latched onto a little triangular slice of gruyere. Her eyes remained locked on the passages before her while the cheese floated past her lips.

The forest was full of danger at every twist and turn. Starshine settled in among the thick roots of a tree, cold and scared but determined nonetheless. All around her, she could hear creatures calling out to one another in the night in low tones that were distant but not distant enough.

Though Starshine's very bones ached with exhaustion, sleep seemed out of reach. Her mind was suddenly plagued with doubt and fear. What if she couldn't find the Desirebloom, or if she did and it didn't work?

Tension fell away when Crystal was unable to grab onto another slice of cheese, and she forced her gaze from the pages in front of her to look at the plate—and found it empty.

With a small grumble, she slid off the sitting pillow to make her way into the kitchen, all the while returning her attention to the story.

After all, she couldn't handle not knowing what happened next: the next chapter, the next scene, the next paragraph, the next sentence! Reading was just as much of a joy as writing, sometimes even more so, depending on her mood.

Especially when she felt such a connection to the leading lady. Crystal heaved a small sigh as she spared a moment to grieve her own situation. Like Starshine, her heart's desire—Silent Knight of Princess Luna’s House Guard—was wholly unaware of her feelings. Unfortunately, there was no mythical flower she knew of that could solve her problem.

She shook her head and returned her focus to the book while she stood in the middle of the kitchen. Starshine had just woken from a fitful sleep and was preparing for the day ahead of her when a sound bellowed through the pre-morning darkness.

Crystal's heart pounded, her eyes flicking across the words almost faster than she could comprehend them. She needed something; cheese, chocolate, cookies, crackers, anything to chew on to relieve some of the nervous energy that bubbled around her chest.

Her gaze drifted between the book and her surroundings. The first cabinet was empty of proper reading snacks. Starshine was running through the brush and bramble. There was nothing in the fridge that seemed suitable. The rumble of a growl chased Starshine further into the unknown.

Then, there it was—for Starshine, a small cave; for Crystal, a bright yellow canister.

"'Eazy Cheezy'?" she mused aloud, concentration broken. "What in Equestria?" With a turn of her head, she yelled at a closed door, "Velvet! What is Eazy Cheezy?"

A moment later, the door opened, and Velvet's head poked out. "Where did you find that?"

Crystal's gaze flickered between the canister held in her magic and her roommate's too-blank expression. "At the back of the cupboard." Carefully, she lowered it onto the counter. "Is this a—" Her cheeks felt hot. "A private thing?"

"What?" Velvet walked all the way out of her room, a grin breaking across her muzzle. "No, Crystal, it's not a sex thing." She paused mid-step. "Well, I mean, it could be. Anything could be if you try."

There was a pause while Velvet mulled it over and Crystal did her best not to.

Finally, Velvet gave a shake of her head and eyed Crystal with something between suspicion and uncertainty. "You don't know what Eazy Cheezy is?"

Crystal glanced over at the can that stood tall, overall white with bold lettering and a solid yellow cap. "Is it—spray paint?"

"Why would I keep spray paint in the kitchen?" Velvet's ears fell flat to the sides, then she snickered and leaned against the counter. "Well, I'm not surprised, I guess. They don't even sell this stuff in Canterlot. I have to get it from Manehattan when I go visit my grandparents."

"What is it?" Crystal asked, sounding a little more like a petulant foal than she would have liked.

Letting out a sigh that verged on an embarrassed groan, Velvet relented, "It's cheese, kind of. It's junk food." Her lips twitched into a lopsided grin. "Do you even know what junk food is?"

Crystal huffed. "Of course I do. I've had ice cream before. And crisps."

"Yes, darling, crisps," Velvet repeated in an over-the-top Canterlot accent before sputtering into a laugh. "Like, that barely counts. You probably had kale crisps, too."

Though she said nothing, her silence gave Velvet all the answer she needed to laugh again.

Velvet moved over to rummage in one of the cabinets and pulled out a pack of crackers. "Listen, see, us commoners like to eat food that's bad for us." She dropped the package onto the counter, ripped it open, and scattered a few crackers onto a plate. "It's how we know we're still alive."

"That makes no sense," Crystal muttered, but otherwise kept her attention fixated on what Velvet was doing with her hooves.

With one hoof, Velvet popped the yellow cap off the canister to reveal what very much looked like the nozzle for spray paint. "And one of our greatest inventions was Eazy Cheezy. It's probably, like, only ten percent real cheese. The rest is… whatever the opposite of kale chips is."

Crystal just watched as Velvet tipped the can, pressed on the nozzle, and—and something shot out onto the cracker.

It wasn't quite yellow, and it wasn't quite orange. What was the texture even supposed to be? It was neither firm nor soft from the looks of it, what with the way it coiled over itself.

All in all, Crystal decided that it looked dreadfully unappetizing. Velvet offered it to her, cracker and strange yellow-orange firm-soft substance together in a visually disparate contrast of familiar and foreign.

Velvet's eyes flashed with mischief. "You're grossed out, aren't you? Prissy Canterlot lady can't handle a little cheese-like substance?"

Tipping her nose into the air, Crystal wrapped her magic around the cracker. "I am well-versed in cheese-like substances, thank you very much. It would be my pleasure to expand my dairy repertoire."

"Uh-huh." Velvet grinned wide. "Then eat it."

Crystal glanced at the—what was she supposed to call it? Cheese gloop? No, that made her stomach turn. Cheesy paste? It was holding its form too well for paste. Cheese… thing. Swallowing her uncertainty, she opened her mouth and prepared herself to take a bite of the cheese thing.

Author's Note:

For readers who use userscripts: I highly recommend considering the installation of this userscript and turn on your sound before continuing to the next chapter. This will ensure full enjoyment of your reading experience. Thank you.

Comments

[Shachza]

Crystal's candid reactions are just to amazing, if only 'cause I know them all too well!

...cracker and strange yellow-orange firm-soft substance together...

Exactly!

I highly recommend considering the installation of this userscript and turn on your sound before continuing to the next chapter. This will ensure full enjoyment of your reading experience. Thank you.

The last time I followed a link, it asked me to provided the processing and transaction fees to some poor, destitute prince who needed a temporary place to stash his inheritance while they sorted out the funeral arrangements. Crystal... did your Sudanese king great uncle die recently?