Gentle Trickle is a young colt. A young colt that happens to be part of a family of necromancers. Most of his family is dead, but they don't act like the usual shambling, mindless dead. In fact, they act just as lively as when they were alive! They live by a strict motto, "Life is precious and must be protected. Death is inevitable, but not the end. Love those that live and honor those that have passed." Death comes to all, but life is short, why shorten it needlessly? Death is forever, why make it unpleasant?
But, what happens when all he believes in is questioned? When he is called evil by those that he vowed to help, deemed a monster by those who he swore to protect.
Rated Teen for Thematic elements later in the story
This is my first story, so any criticisms are welcome!
Honestly pretty good so far. The writing is great and I didn't catch any mistakes, though I don't have an eye for that. The only real nitpick I have so far is that the story description seems a bit bland and not interesting and that there doesn't seem to be a plot as for now.
Honestly, this isn't bad for a first attempt. The interaction between the foal and his grandmother was good, and I could see a necromancer story working if done carefully. (I'm toying with an original fantasy story about a young necomancer, actually).
8762437
Coming from you, that's really high praise! Thank you for taking the time to read it.
By the way, will you be starting your own story before or after you finish Lord Barleycorn and Lost and Blind?
8762532
during or after lost and blind. I have plenty of world building to do. Its basically the hero's journey, but I'm trying to put a different spin on it.
Just do plenty of reading, pay attention to how they construct their scenes and you'll improve in no time. =3
8762540
Sounds like fun! Looking forward to it!
Good so far, I cannot wait to see what you do with this premise.
~Crystalline Electrostatic~
6:49_3/7/2018
This story is one of the better ones simply for the normality of the situation.
its difficult to convey that a strange situation to us can be normal to others.
I just added this fanfic into group- Necromancy :) Hopefully it generates more attention.
8792598
Hey thanks, bud! I really appreciate it.
This is a very good story, and a very unique take on Necromancy.
As one who likes Necormany and has written a Necromancer in the past, this viewpoint brings up a ton of ideas, and I believe this is what my character might have been like as a child.
Very good job.
Cool idea. Update ever?
9118157
Yeah. I have been trying to get back into writing it, but between my recent promotion, moving to a different state and just life in general, thing have been hectic for quite a while. It's been slowing down a bit, so I am hoping I can get another chapter out soonish
9128107
I take it things didn't go to plan?
11059417
Yeah...I am planning on picking it back up. Between Covid, moving, new job that had me working about 12 hours a day, and family stuff, I've had no time to play games, let alone write. Things are looking to calm down after the holidays (finally), and I really want to pick back up writing. It's been a VERY hellish last couple years...BUT things are finally looking up! Will try and have a chapter or two up in the next couple weeks!