You can only tell the difference between self-confidence and bravado when the stakes are raised so high the mask cracks. Queen Sisipho of Pretoria's disastrous decision is about to test her mettle, and the fate of her country is on the line.
Edited and Proofread by Alicorn Priest
I like it. Little issues like we discussed, but thumbs up. Keep going. You've got a spark. Really liked the worldbuilding, but I am so much a sucker for world building.
So I guess... she's Queen because she was a suitable vessel then? I was really interested in figuring out just why a filly would be chosen for succession over her two older siblings, a Prince and a Princess (who are not her siblings?)
Hooves don't have palms; I think the word you're looking for is 'frog'.
Also there's this.
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Whoops. That's my bad. I'll fix it.
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Also. As a second comment. You bring up a good point. I never did go over this because I figured that it'd be a one-shot, and that it'd be fine to leave the readers with some questions and let them interpret it as they may. But... it sounds like another story might help explain some stuff? I mean, considering that you commented on one of my stories, I'm a bit surprised you were interested in my story. So I'm also humbled. Also yeah, the prince and princess are not related to her, as Sisipho was a filly brought in from somewhere else in Pretoria.
But yeah. Even though I imagine you've read better works. Would you be interested in another work following this same universe?
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I think I would be, yeah. :) Let me know if it happens!
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Yay! I'll try to make that a reality then. Once I figure out what the hell I'm doing with my writing schedule. XD