Everypony Else Has Had More Sex Than Me

by No Raisin

Admitting is the First Step, Baby!

Rainbow Dash would always remember the day Fluttershy asked her, in her own way, if they could have sex. The two were taking a nap together in Rainbow's house in the sky, and it was something they started doing not long after they began dating those many months ago.

If not for the question, this would have been another one of those normal naps.

It was late in the afternoon, and much of the day's work had been done. As Rainbow slept, she experienced one of those quasi-vivid and pseudo-psychedelic dreams you have in the middle of the day when you plan to sleep for half an hour and end up going to Narnia and back because you forgot to set your alarm for the right time.

Coming out of this dream, hearing the birds chirping outside, Rainbow felt Fluttershy's coat rub up against her own, fluff on fluff, and she knew her partner had emerged from her slumber a few seconds before she did.

A yawn escaped Fluttershy's lips, as her mouth opened wide and let out almost a non-sound.

Not too long ago, at least in the grand scheme of things, Rainbow didn't think she'd be sharing her traditional daytime naps with anypony, but she had long since gotten used to waking up beside Fluttershy, or rather with Fluttershy beside her. The deeply intimate physical contact seemed alien at first—Rainbow did always have issues with having her personal space invaded outside of very specific contexts, after all—but it became almost as natural as breathing after some time and a few awkward early attempts.

The light earthy scent of Fluttershy's coat, and the feeling of the tips of her feathers brushing against Rainbow's side, not to mention her own feathers, was enough to lift her out of that post-slumber grogginess a wee bit.

"Hey," said Rainbow, smiling. "How was your nap, Shy?"

"Mmm," her partner hummed. "It was pretty nice." Fluttershy lifted her eyelids just a tiny fraction of an inch, but Rainbow could tell she was awake enough now.

Although she would never say it out loud, Rainbow still couldn't get over the fact that she was with an angel. Not a literal angel, hard as that was to believe, but a mare with the beauty and gentleness of one; she was more tender than Rainbow could ever hope to be, even on the best of days.

"Still feeling all sleepy?" asked Rainbow. "Cuz I still kinda am."

"No. Kind of the opposite, actually." Fluttershy shut her eyes tightly a few times, giving her eyelids some exercise. "Thinking about it, I had this really... um... weird dream."

"You too, huh?"

"Yeah," she cooed. "I mean—it was weird in parts. At first it was scary, because I dreamed that you had gotten yourself hurt again. During a storm."

Rainbow couldn't help but grin. "That sure sounds like me."

"Mhmm. And you had almost gotten yourself k-killed because you tried flying with a pulled muscle in one of your wings, and I had to save you at the last second."

"Sounds pretty thrilling!"

"No," said Fluttershy seriously, "it was terrible. At first. I worried so much about you. But then I got you into your house and you were safe."

"Did ya give me a scolding?"

"Of course," the smile coming back to her lips. "But I took care of you. Gave you some milk and cookies."

Rainbow liked the sound of that. "So it ended awesomely, then?"

"Mhmm."

Like cats they both stretched out their limbs, along with their wings, and Rainbow felt Fluttershy nuzzle along her neck, up to just under where her ear began, and this sensation was somewhat ticklish, almost enough to make Rainbow giggle. But she didn't, and instead blew some hot air out her nostrils.

Fluttershy started to pepper her neck and cheek with little kisses, which sent a shiver up Rainbow's spine. Turning their heads a few degrees led to the two's lips aligning with each other, and what started as a quick peck soon turned into a sloppier but more rewarding series of deep kisses. Despite the fact that each had a case of morning breath, Rainbow still found the extremely soft lips of her partner to be inviting.

"Hey," said Rainbow between the kisses, "do I get some milk and cookies in real life, too?"

"Nope," said Fluttershy, cheerfully, her cheeks becoming reminiscent of rose petals. "But I can give you something else."

Another kiss.

"Like what?" asked Rainbow, genuinely curious.

"Mmm, guess." Fluttershy pressed her side against Rainbow's, their flanks touching each other.

"The latest Daring Do book? I already have that one, so sorry."

"No."

"New goggles for Tank?"

"No."

"An awesome portrait of me done by some artist I don't know...?"

"No," sounding frustrated now.

A pause from Rainbow. Then, "Are you moving in with me? Cuz I'm pretty sure you still need to take care of the animals in the forest and all that stuff. Seems like a lot of work, as nice as it'd be for you to live here."

"Rainbow Danger Dash," she said, almost staring daggers. "I'm... talking about us having sex."

Neither of them said anything immediately after that. They just looked at each other while the birds continued chirping outside, filling what would have been the void of deafening silence.

After all this, Rainbow could only think to say one word:

"Oh."

Now it all made sense.

Rainbow was never great at taking hints, or at interpreting metaphors and similes and the like. She was kind of literal-minded as an adult, and as a filly she was even worse. When she was six years old and had to attend a funeral for somepony who had passed away—a distant family member she didn't get to know—she heard a gruff stallion at the head of the service speak of walking through the valley of the shadow of death, and Rainbow thought that meant literally taking a hike through a valley that was also a shadow, with enough food and water to last a whole day.

Rainbow found that, without knowing at first, she had started taking a hike through the valley of the shadow of sex. It was like the valley of the shadow of death's spunky twin sister who also happened to be into the goth scene.

But instead of a whole day, she had a mere few seconds to make a decision here, as to what to do about Fluttershy's suggestion. On the one hoof she was attracted to her. Greatly so. In fact if her nerves weren't so shot, and maybe if she had some prior experience, she wouldn't hesitate to jump her bones. But that was the problem, right? She had pulled many life-threatening stunts in her life, often on a whim and with varying degrees of stupidity, and she handled it all like a champ.

But not in this situation! Nope!

She rubbed the back of her head and chuckled, trying to hide her anxiety. "Hey, we don't have to... I mean... I'm not used to that sort of thing. The whole mare-on-mare thing. New to it, ya know?'

"So... you've never had sex with a mare before?"

"No—I mean...!"

"With a stallion, then?" Fluttershy cocked her head as she asked this.

"Maybe!" An uncomfortable pause. "Okay, maybe not." Rainbow had to admit to herself that there weren't many stallions around that she could see herself dating. Then again, she used to have a hard time imagining herself dating anypony before Fluttershy came out to her about how she really felt.

Putting the pieces together in her head, Fluttershy gasped silently and said, "Wait, Dashie... does that mean you're a virgin? A-as in you've never been with anypony like that before?"

"Hey! I have some experience! I have more experience than—uhhh..."

Rainbow thought about her closest friends, who also happened to be most of her friends, and she came to the conclusion that almost all of them had way more experience in the sack than her.

Rarity and Applejack had, at some point, gotten over their sexual tension and started doing things behind closed doors that would be considered obscene in several provinces. They occasionally got noise complaints, but hey, at least they seemed to be enjoying every second of it.

It was also sort of an open secret that Twilight had taken a strong fancy to Cheerilee, the schoolteacher, who was a good ten years her senior. Rainbow didn't know Twilight had a thing for older mares, or mares in general, but whatever, they were happy together.

And then there was Pinkie Pie...

Rainbow had to shudder at that last one. Pinkie might be the only living thing in known existence whose number of sexual experiences was the infinity symbol.

So yeah, that left only herself and Fluttershy—and to think that Fluttershy probably knew more a lot more about sex than she did! Nopony must live to tell that secret.

"Uh, Rainbow?" said Fluttershy. "You're trembling."

"Who, me?" Rainbow felt the first inklings of sweat form on her brow.

"Yeah you," said her partner more sternly. "Your legs are shaking."

Fluttershy was onto her! "Must be allergies," said Rainbow quickly. "I get really bad allergies at this time of year, didn't you know that? Ha! Silly me, I forgot to take some medicine for that."

Frowning, Fluttershy clearly wasn't buying it. "First of all," she replied in a sagely manner, "that isn't how allergies work. And second of all, if you're really feeling unsure about all this then you can just tell me. Unless..." The frown, which had been of a disgruntled nature, had become more upset. "Is it something about me? That you've realized you're not attracted to me after all, and that you just said 'yes' back then because you wanted to be nice to me? After all the time we've spent together..."

"What? No!"

"Then...?" Fluttershy pressed further, at least relieved that Rainbow wasn't going to break up with her or something.

"Okay," admitted Rainbow, ashamed, "I've got nothing. You win." She closed her eyes and lowered her head, not wanting to meet her partner's gaze after what she had just said.

Fluttershy's quizzical expression changed to one more of sympathy. "Dashie... Dashie, can you t-tell me something?"

Rainbow didn't nod yes, but she didn't shake her head either.

"Was I your first kiss? With anypony?"

Rainbow's lack of a verbal response was telling her a lot.

It was all so strange, now that Fluttershy thought about it. She was under the impression, for the longest time, that Rainbow was so experienced—so confident in that experience—that she didn't even need to talk about it. For all their kissing and cuddling, the two had never really talked about sex with each other before. It was something neither of them ever brought up, and while Fluttershy was reluctant to talk about it because of her timid nature, she assumed Rainbow didn't talk about it for the exact opposite reason.

Oh dear.

Had Rainbow done such an awesome job at acting like she knew what she was doing that she forgot that she didn't know what she was doing?

Probably.

Fluttershy curled up her legs and rested beside Dash, extending a wing and draping it over her. "We don't have to do anything right now. Or today, for that matter. I s-should've figured you weren't as ready as you made yourself out to be."

Without looking at her, Rainbow uttered, "But it's your first time too, right?"

"Yeah, but... I've throught about it, and I know I'm ready for it."

This made Rainbow, still looking solemn but slightly uplifted, turn her head. "What, with me?"

"Of course," she said, giggling. "Who else?"

Darn, she had a point there.

"I don't feel like I'm awesome enough to be doing that sort of thing with you." Rainbow's eyes focused more on her partner's as she continued. "Maybe I don't feel worthy, I dunno. I'm still kinda taking in the fact that you want to..."

"But I do," said Fluttershy, confidently in spite of her reddened cheeks. "But we don't have to do it right now. I w-wouldn't want to force you into anything. Never. If I knew how stressed you would get about this I wouldn't have even come onto you like I did. If I had known—"

"Well ya do now, right? My secret's out," still sounding bitter.

"Hmm," Fluttershy pondered. "True, but you don't have to be like that forever. Even though I've read a lot about it, I still don't... um... have any experience myself. And I'd love to get some with you."

Hearing these words made Rainbow realize how much she really wanted Fluttershy, and this realization caused her heart to speed up, like somepony had shot some adrenaline into it. Yeah, she really wanted her, but at the same time she still felt nervous about it. She felt torn between the two paths—between wanting to be with Fluttershy in that way and wanting to hide in some corner out of anxiety.

"I'd love to do that too," she said uneasily, "but we can wait a bit, right?"

"Oh yes," said Fluttershy, not bothered in the least. "Come to think of it, maybe you should read a book or two about how—um—we would be doing it. To know what we're getting into."

"You've read about this?" Her cheeks burned like healthy candles.

"Yes," said Fluttershy, in a pretty matter-of-fact way.

Actually, Fluttershy had read a few books about equine reproduction, not to mention all the saucy stuff. Twilight, being the kind of mare she was, recommended all of them to her, of course. These included the national bestsellers titled The Ninety-Nine Ways to Massage Your Lover's Wings and Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex But Were Too Lazy to Ask. The former had some pretty detailed illustrations.

"But..." said Rainbow hesitantly. "Reading's not really not my thing."

Fluttershy gave her a coy look and said these magical words:

"They have pictures in them..."

Well, that changed everything.

Rainbow considered all this, as much as her attention span would allow. It was true that she had slept through much of sex ed class back in the day, and that her limited exposure to pornographic material didn't help her perception was what sex was like all that much, but she could take comfort in knowing that, even though she still felt embarrassed about being so ignorant for a twenty-three-year-old mare, she could learn a lot with the mare she loved.

They could learn a lot together, with each other, as both friends and lovers, and Fluttershy would be with her every step of the way. Did that really sound so bad?

No. Not with love on their side.

"Alright," said Rainbow, standing up and feeling some of the shakiness leave her legs. "Which one would you have me read first?"

Author's Note:

You don't want to know how many stories I scrapped before finally landing on this one. It was frustrating, horrifying, and kind of gross, honestly. I also suspect some will find it hard to believe that Rainbow is a virgin here, which is basically the opposite of how she's usually written, but I think once some thought is put into her character and how she acts, one could make the case for her not having much romantic or sexual experience.

You could say Rainbow's anxiety in this little tale was inspired by my own, about my writing, about jumping into a story and sticking with it. Committing like that is pretty tough, at least for me. In that way I relate a lot more to Rainbow than Fluttershy, despite some massive differences between us.

I know this is late for the contest, but I wanted to make something that both I and Captain_Hairball might be satisfied with. I can't speak for him, but I can at least speak for myself, and I'll say that this was a lot of fun to write in certain areas. I enjoyed it.

Better late than never, right?

Comments

[Damaged]

*gasps*

A fellow TISM fan?

[Ice Star]

Bah, forget how she's usually written, this is fine! It feels more natural too!

[Super Trampoline]

I can't stop looking at Rainbow's leg in the cover art; what the blazes is going on there?

[Adda le Blue]

8891553
*double-gasps*
I've had "I Rooted a Girl Who Rooted a Guy Who Rooted a Girl Who Rooted a Guy Who Rooted a Girl Who Rooted Shane Crawford" stuck in my head all day!
[Edit: Well, it's been playing tug-of-war with "Solid Gold" by Eagles of Death Metal but that's still a heckin' coinkydink]

Reading commences.

[MrAskAPirate]

For people who might not get the reference in the title, and because this should be required viewing for all denizens of the interwebz.

[Damaged]

8891597 Greg! The stop sign! just won't leave my damn head.

For those confused:

[No Raisin]

8891600
I'M ON THE DRUG I'M ON THE DRUG I'M ON THE DRUG THAT KILLED RIVER PHOENIX

[Damaged]

8891601 Whatareya?

[Adda le Blue]

"What, with me?"

That was so cute I squealed aloud. You go, Rainbow!

All in all, that was adorable—and, honestly, I've always found that stories in which Dash is less experienced than she claims to be the more realistic of the bunch. Half of bravado is making sure you don't prove yourself a liar, is it not? Fluttershy was a delight as well. While I expected more lies and fabrications on the part of Rainbow Dash, I enjoyed the characters here as much as the story itself. Well done.

[Adda le Blue]

Jeez, TISM is more popular than I'd thought.

8891556
Precisely! Let's stop writing every character like they're trying to get into the author's pants!

[Ice Star]

8891618
Yeppers!

Some variation would be nice.

[lillytheomegawolf]

Good read.

[Captain_Hairball]

That was beautiful! A very sweet Flutterdash and I’m proud to have inspired it.

I’ll link to it later.

[MEGA LM ShiroHige Pony]

Instant fav cuz FlutterDash

[Charlie_K]

8891553
I have no idea what this means.

[No Raisin]

8892818
TISM is an Australian rock band known for their comedic lyricism that ranges from satirical to outright screwball.

The title of my fic is taken from "Everyone Else Has Had More Sex Than Me," which is probably their most famous song.

It also kicks total arse.

[Charlie_K]

8892849
Oh so that's it. I thought it was just a general statement of fact on Rainbow Dash's part.

[Eddy13]

Very nice and sweet. Out of curiosity, will there be a sequel where Rainbow and Fluttershy turn in their virginity cards?

[No Raisin]

8893562
Maaaaaaaaybe. I was originally going to have this be a clopfic, but I thought it would be too jarring (and also require too much work) if I went from them talking to them doing so quickly.

Knowing my lack of reliability, you probably won't see it for another year or so, but it could happen.

[Sage of the Leaf]

Alright, sir. I like your writing. For the slice of life events the story is meant to portray, the writing was fairly solid. Unlike a majority of stories, the punctuation is sufficient, I can tell how the characters are feeling based on the diction, and none of your sentences are overtly awkward, out of place, or contrived. On a related note, the writing was good enough that it made me feel physically uncomfortable, as I've been dealing with a very similar problem with my significant other. So GG, for writing a story that was all too relatable, though not in a bad way.

[RK_Striker_JK_5]

That was pretty great.

[Future Regret]

So I read one of you’re newer stories and I just read this one and you’ve grown a lot as an author. This is a fine story but the third person omniscient style you went with kinda jerked me around, very tell instead of show. It’s cute though, definitely better than 90% of shit on this site, and maybe I’m so critical because it reminds me of my own stuff. Good work boss, keep improving. It gives me hope