Twilight was having a perfect day, but then Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash happen. Before Twilight could ask "How could this day get any worse?" a hungry vegetable threatens to eat all the food and put Sugarcube Corner out of business if they don't provide excellent service. Being the Elements of Harmony, the Main 5 plus Applejack are contractually obliged to help in ravenous vegetable emergencies (and everything else, apparently).
(If you take this seriously, there is no hope for you in this world).
Chapters (1)
Well... here it is. Feel free to rip this to shreds and over analyze everything. This was pretty much made just to get good critiques so I can have a better understanding on what and what not to do for future projects. But, I'll admit this became a little bit more. I have lost almost all interest in writing this because, well, I didn't think anyone would like a story of this nature. When I had to write something along the lines of 'A pumpkin walks into a candy store owned by ponies and demands to be fed' I seriously questioned the value of this story, as well as the state of my life and sanity.
If people actually like this, then I will be more than happy to continue it. If not, then I'm just happy I posted this and I can move on. Either way, if this story gets helpful reviews, then it will have served its purpose.
No! I don't want that!
I had that going through my head this morning.
Look out, he's very very hungreh!
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*sees image* 0_0. *reads fanfic* celestia why???? THE HORROR. THE HORROR!!!!
Pumkin? I thought it was spelled pumpkin... Unless that's his name?
*didn't read the fic*
Ok so currently I am on my phone and can't critique it quite yet, by what I've read so far seems good. Give me an hour or so and I'll ravage it on my laptop. I have to say I was excited when I saw this in my notifications.
Wow now I feel really bad. Long story short I don't have my laptop and probably won't for a while. Sorry.
1628107 I was afraid that people might think I misspelled the name. His name has always been assumed to be Pumkin, mostly because he is from a children's online learning course called Pumkin. Why it's called that, I will never know. Then again, I suppose I'll never know why anyone thought it was a good idea to have that pumpkin shaped abomination teach English to children. Those eyes would strike fear into any child. It's like having Freddie Cougar as an elementary school math teacher.
If we have learned anything from Pumkin, it's that if you don't like something, you should throw it on the ground and be a dick about it.
1628256
I've... never heard of this before.
The more you know
Well I for one found this terribly amusing.
I'm not really good at giving critiques, but I can say that this was well polished and more than legible. Aside from that the only thing I usually require in a good fanfic is an interesting premise, well done characterization, and some humor. The characters are all pretty consistent here, and I laughed out loud on several occasions, so I'd say you're doing well so far.
Why a mutated pumpkin would be wandering Equestria searching for a meal, and why his coming sends ponies into such fits of terror, are a complete mystery to me, but the buildup to get here is promising. I would very much like to see what happens next.
1634287 You have no idea how happy I am to hear that. Seriously, manly tears and all that. I was afraid this story was just going to slip into the void without anyone giving an opinion. I'm glad that you like it so far, and I'll definitely finish it now. Thanks for reigniting my spirit and drive to write... again.
Nice! Very funny. The best you can do now is just practice. Like one of my favorite authors says: "The best way to get better at writing is to read and write constantly." Have a thumb and
.
1664021 Thank you so much! And thanks for the advice, I'll definitely try to write more frequently. I'm glad you liked it, and I hope to get the next chapter out soon.
Oh, and also, thanks for giving me my very first
for a story! They almost seem to be a form of currency here.
This story is ... its ... random as
the pink one, its really random but in a very good and fun way.I am not much of a critic (i try but most of the times but i just typ from the heart and give my honest opinion about it, i just don't know what i am doing wrong, might be my lack of knowledge about advanced writing, so just look at me as a basic critic, no wait everyone's a critic, semi-advanced critic it is)
Anyway, the intro is a tad long but that's alright, comes with experience (i think),
mostall of the humor in the story was decent and random at the same time (i just keep picturing Spike screaming, why do i enjoy his dispair so much?) though you kept it ... original? Yes lets go for that one, sounds flashy, must be right, will probably do perfect as a marketing trick, .. oh they are already doing that? Good for them.I might wanna come to the real critism instead of all the lame jokes i keep throwing at ya.
Its good, original (mostly because most people would yell at there brain shouting: The fuck is this?! and its decently written for a (re)starter.
So yeah i love it. and i would love to see more of this story.
1620798
I think we never met.
Allow me to introduce myself, my name is
encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQ-HoIsn3hHAeNjATDvngMne5FLMWv0Y3WRLumZVKzJJhtbgr2r completely slapped that pie, ended up vomiting through my nose.
But that's enough about me, lets talk about you to continue working on this story (if you want to of course) otherwise i might turn to drastic methods
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(ignore this line, he's sorta harmless
when your 358 meters away from himD'awwwww did the voice of reason escaped again? (Oh cr%$&) we all know what happens to the ones who try to flee. (*whimpering*) *crack* We break their legs.I got here through your shameless self-advertising
on that "Good Stories" blog. This story is well-written, and I liked its sense of humor, 
but I would have liked to stick around for the epic boss battle.I can't wait for the epic boss battle! (I thought this was a completed oneshot, silly me. I blame Spike for this.)1821535 Thanks, I'm so glad you liked it! A critic who gives an honest opinion and says what he/she truly felt from a story is extremely valuable and very appreciated. Giving reviews that go into the technical aspect of writing, such as spelling and grammar, is also very helpful, but there are so many critics who do only that. Thanks for the input, and I hope to have the next part out soon.
1821936 Yeah, I didn't notice that it was more of an advertisement than a warning till I reread my comment...
Still, I'm very happy you enjoyed it. The conclusion shouldn't take much longer, if everything goes as planned and life doesn't conspire against me. I hope you like the next part just as much.
1822008
You are not the only one.
And
Stupid life whispering conspiracies behind my back.
1634287 It was inspired by this. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_8Ctwl63XCg