Once it was a crush....

by CuddleBuddy888

It used to be just us......right?

Author's Note:

Story #1
Once It Was A Crush
By:CuddleBuddy888
Date:8/22/18
Time:2:43 PM

Fluttershy blushed deeply as she turned the page of an old book full of letters to her, from strangers who had fallen in love. It was still strange to get letters, after all she had no idea who these colts were!

She gently let out a small chuckle to a letter from Sombra. It had been years, she missed him deeply. She missed the way he pushed her mane out of her face, missed how he called her 'Little Dove', even missed his soft voice of reaserance. It was not just that, all together he was kind, loving, to her at least. He hated the girls, for what reason Fluttershy could not say.

She closed the book and began to wonder,'What happened?' what happened to the colt she fell in love with? Where did he go? Was he ever coming back?

There was a knock at the door, reluctantly, she got up and wondered to the door. As she opened the door, she saw Twilight smiling, "What brings you here Twilight?" She asked softly.It was strange to see her this early in the day after all. Twilight squealed loudly and pulled her out the door. Fluttershy just followed, very confused.

As the got closer to where Twilight was bringing her, Fluttershy almost stopped, 'The Everfree Forest? Why is-' her thoughts were interrupted as Twilight stopped, squealing,"Fluttershy, I found out where Sombra was hiding all this time! The Everfree Forest!" When Fluttershy did not answer, Twilight turned around to see that her friend was as white as a ghost, she looked as she just talked to Death himself."Flutters? Are........are you ok?"

Fluttershy just stood there, 'why?' she thought, 'Why did he hide here? Was it my fault? Did the girls do something? Or was it that he escaped the blast from the Crystal Empire?' she didn't have time to diside, Twilight was looking at her worried,"Fluttershy? Are you ok?" She just nodded,"Y......yeah, I'll...... I'll be fine( I think? )

"Ok then! Let's continue, I can't wait to see the look on his face!" Said Twilight giggling. 'Oh no!' thought Fluttershy, was Twilight going to hurt him? She couldn't let that happen, after all inside Sombra was her heart and soul! If she lost him...... Fluttershy pushed that thought from her mind.

It used to be just us, Sombra and I.
Before the war.
Before he lost his mind.
Before....our wedding.
Before the dark magic consumed him.
It's was........just us...........right?

{Back to when Fluttershy and Sombra first met!}
The day was hot, but Cloudy~Chan did not care. It was on days like these that the Crystal Empire was about with joy. As Cloudy~Chan pushed her long pink mane out of her face she tripped over a box and landed hard on the ground. Groaning, she pulled herself up, only to see a black stallion with a short messy black mane towering abover her."O-oh my! I'm so so sorry!" She said picked up the box."I'll help pick it u-"

"No no! It's ok I shouldn't have left it there in the first place." He said, taking the box from her."Don't worry about it. I'm Sombra, may I ask your name?" He said. Cloudy~Chan just stared at him for a few minutes before answering."Oh sorry! I'm Cloudy~Chan! Nice to meet you!"

He blushed and put the box on the stand behind him. Then turned to her smiling."Uh, so did you need anything from the stand?" Cloudy~Chan shook her head. The stand Sombra was in charge of sold an array of hats, the one she was wearing though, was one she made.A pink fabric from the rim, but a darker pink for the small fadora-type top."No I don't need a hat sorry, but I do need some other things, oh I know! As payment for making me trip, you have to help me shop!" She said confidently.

Sombra laughed as closed his stand," Fine! But what do you need?" Later he was walking her back home and she asked him if he lived near by. "Oh uh yeah you could say that. Hehe........heh" After that it was silent. When they reached her home he bowed."Hope your evening is wonderful miss Princess Cloudy~Chan!" He said with a heavy sarcastic tone. Which let to Cloudy~Chan cracking up.

When they finally stopped Cloudy~Chan gave Sombra a kiss."Thanks for helping me Sombra." She then shut her door.Sombra on the way home was a blushing mess, but he loved it.

{Back to present}
Twilight pulled Fluttershy to a small shack in the middle of the forest. Then she quietly opened the door, causing a black stallion in a robe to jump. He bowed,"Princess Twilight what a surprise, I did not think I would be seeing you tonight. Please do not mind my messy shack, it has been a long time since I have been back."

Twilight was confused, it was just another healer, who also talked in rymes. She forgave him , but kept her guard up. She asked him why he was here. But he told he that he left, and never came back."I missed this dusty old shack, it brings memories back!" After Twilight left she found Fluttershy waiting outside for her."Who was that Twilight?" Fluttershy asked.

"No pony."

"Uh ok?" Said Fluttershy a little confused. After a while Twilight said that maybe tomorrow they can try again, seeing as the only ponies are Zacora and...,.........him.......

When they got back Twilight just went to bed, as expected, but Fluttershy did not. She wanted to know who that healer was. So she snuck out that night. By the time Fluttershy had reached the house again, she but did not go inside. What if they are sleeping? She sat there for awhile, then she fell asleep.

She wolk up in a soft bed, she sat up to see no one there. She looked around and noticed that she was inside the shack that belonged to the healer. She sat there for a moment, trying to figure out how she got there in the first place.

Then the door of the shack opened to reveal a tall dark stallion with a messy back mane.........

It was Sombra.

Comments

[CuddleBuddy888]

If anyone is wondering, yes it is a multi-chapter story. I will try to get a chapter out every weekend since school starts tomorrow and all. If not it would be a big help if you could be patient for me to put out a chapter!
-CuddleBuddy888

[Meadow Feather]

Sombrashy? insta like, fav, track Yus I shall read this later

[Boomstick Mick]

Who's Cloudy~Chan? Is she an OC, and if she is, why is Fluttershy having first person perspective flashbacks about her?

[Meadow Feather]

Hmm so now that I have read this through I must say.. I think I get where your going, but perhaps you should proofread a few times before publishing. Though, I guess I’m no better. Once you get a chapter written you just want to put it out to the public and be done with it. Back to the story though, there aren’t proper paragraph breaks in the dialogue and I feel as if this chapter could have been at least doubled in word count if it had been fleshed out properly. A lot of what the characters said or thought seemed.. hmm idk just either not natural or ooc. There’s a considerable amount of sentence deformities that jumble up the chapter and make it hard to read. I know you’re probably just starting out writing and there’s no way you’re going to be the new Mark Twain over night so I’m trying to be gentle.. sentence and paragraph structure are pretty difficult for me (a fellow beginner writer) it wasn’t the worse pilot chapter, but getting a proofreader of an editor would do wonders. (Also something I can’t critizicd too much since I dont have one for my story either )

WHOO that has got to be the longest comment I’ve typed out in a long time! I am awful at detailed critique so bare with me. I would normally leave something like this to the people more experienced in criticism, but I really want to see this story do well.

[CuddleBuddy888]

Boomstick,
Cloudy~Chan is Fluttershy before she left the Crystal Empire.
The reason I choose this storyline is because I thought that Sombra and Fluttershy must have some back story. Also beacuse the is my sister fanfic. I thought I could share it with the world!

[CuddleBuddy888]

ALSO THIS IS MY SISTERS FANFIC, BUT SHE DOES NOT HAVE AN ACCOUNT SO I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT SHE WAAS DOING!!
I wanted to fix it but my sis yelled at me every time I tried so.........yeah.

[Meadow Feather]

9133850
LOL my sister wants to do the same exact thing! Last night I made her an account and she wants to publish something. She’s 9 and.. uhm lets just say she doesnt have the best writing I’m too soft to tell her how bad it really is

The thing is, she wants me to proofread. I told her I would.. but shivers not even Celestia could fix that mess..

[CuddleBuddy888]

My story is still in progress, it is not THIS bad. But it needs work. I'm also back in school and that's more stress on me so I will try to get it out as soon as possible. Also my sister is going to post ANOTHER chapter to this STUPID story...........sorry I tried to stop her............I failed....😥