Twilight sighed, her gaze lingering on the ceiling as she lay on her back, limbs splayed in all directions. The pillow beneath her head was soft, warm and had just the right amount of support. The blanket that lay spread across her body had just enough weight to it while still being extremely comfortable. Yet despite all the comforts of the room and her bed, it wasn't enough, and for the second night in a row she knew she was going to go without sleep.
Sure, there was a small part of her that had grown strangely used to not sleeping or only getting in short naps, but in the end it still sucked. No matter how much she got used to it.
The filly groaned and rubbed her hooves against her eyes, only to stop when she pulled them back, noticing that her forehooves were lit by the strange orange glow coming from her eyes. Stupid eyes, she thought to herself, cursing her strangeness for the upteenth time in the last hour or so.
Her life had been so normal until right before her test, now she was a freak with glowing eyeballs and no friends. Everypony she met seemed to treat her as though she was either infectious or was three seconds from biting their head off. Only Celestia and Bull seemed to treat her as the filly she was, as even her parents had grown a little distant. She had only noticed it the last time they had visited when Twilight caught her father staring at her horn.
She had a bit of a growth spurt, it wasn't that big of a deal. Or at least that's what Twilight thought. Her father seemed to eye her with a mix of pity and concern while her mother seemed to look at her with what could only be described as fear.
The filly sighed and rolled over. Glowing eyes aren't that strange, right? It wasn't the weirdest thing Twilight had ever seen or heard about, yet everyone seemed to freak out whenever she looked at them.
I hope Princess Celestia finds a cure soon, she thought to herself.
Twilight closed her eyes and tried to drift off to sleep, but her thoughts seemed stuck on Celestia for a strange reason. The longer Twilight thought about it, the more she realized just how strange her life had gotten over the last three months.
She had ended her summer break at the end of July, only to become the princess’ personal pupil. After that she moved into a literal castle, got a giant new room, a whole ton of stuff, and then there were the lessons themselves!
Twilight had always considered herself a fast learner, but over the past three months she felt as though she had learned more than in the last three years combined. She knew dozens more spells, was stronger than ever, and could even manipulate more objects at once than Shining Armor!
Sure, things were weird, her horn was a little longer, her eyeballs were glowing, and she seemed to have gained a knack for finding trouble, but throughout it all she knew Celestia was there for her. The kind old mare had taken the filly in without a second thought, and Twilight hesitated to even consider a life without the alicorn’s presence.
Never in her wildest dreams had Twilight dared to believe that the princess could be so perfect. It was like she had gained a second mother.
The filly’s blushing face was promptly buried in her pillow and she groaned audibly. “I can't believe I almost called her mom the other day. What was I thinking?” she muttered.
With a soft sigh, the filly lay still, her mind wandering as she tried to think of anything other than that incredibly embarrassing moment that had nearly happened.
Unfortunately that led her towards the rather unpleasant memory of when Celestia had nearly nodded off the last time Twilight had given an oral report.
Come to think of it, the alicorn was looking even more tired than usual.
Twilight hadn't noticed it at first, but now that she thought about it, it made sense. The alicorn seemed stressed, and Twilight was fairly certain she hadn't been getting much sleep lately. By now her thoughts and worries were so compounded that she knew she would find no sleep this night.
With a long, tired sigh, she rolled onto her side, cast off the blanket and slipped out of bed.
The floor was warm, the heating ward placed on it ensuring that even during the middle of the night it was of a pleasant temperature. Twilight didn't have time to marvel over the small comforts she now enjoyed, instead she trotted over to the window and stared out over the city.
The dark shapes of the night guards were little more than specks, save for the few pegasi she could see making the rounds several stories up. The rest of Canterlot looked so small, and insignificant from up here. It was almost enough to make the filly swell with wonder, but her exhaustion sapped such enthusiasm before it could even reach the surface.
She looked up, noticing that the sun was just behind the horizon, the first rays of morning reaching out and touching the clouds, but not quite the earth. In this strange light, the world looked almost picturesque, with a few orange leaves floating through the air and catching the odd ray.
The filly blinked, only to sigh when she remembered that fall had started not long ago. Even though Twilight remembered vividly all the hustle and bustle as the weather team got to work, she could not for the life of her seem to remember time in between. Everything seemed to be passing her by so quickly, it felt as though it had only been yesterday that Celestia had pointed out that it was the first day of fall, and already the season was in full swing.
“Augh.” Twilight groaned, pressing her face into the glass and staring out over the city.
Lack of sleep had already made her irritable and lazy and now it had apparently managed to rob her of her very perception of time.
The filly pulled back and gave her head a shake, she may not be getting any sleep tonight, or this morning, but she refused to waste her time on feeling bad for herself. Celestia had wizened up over the last month and a half and had begun to give her more homework and self-guided studies, something Twilight wanted to get a head on before the field trip Celestia was taking her on.
Twilight shuddered, thinking about all the other fillies and colts that will also be on the field trip. The alicorn had been insistent that Twilight start taking more classes with other foals her age, and had ruled this field trip as the best way to introduce her to the class.
No matter how much whining, pleading, and begging Twilight did.
The filly turned and walked to the door, silently wondering if she was going to be lucky enough to find someone willing to give her some coffee. She couldn't help but lick her lips at the thought, her mind already turning with ideas of what she would do with her newfound energy.
I wonder where we will be going for this field trip, I hope it's that new museum that opened up in west Canterlot, Twilight thought to herself, her smile beginning to grow.
Hooves clattered against stone, and an ancient alicorn that had witnessed the breadth of ages pass her by, stumbled and fell. Only a hoof against the door jam held her somewhat upright, her breath coming in labored gasps. She cursed her weakness, her frail body, and above all, her complete inadequacy.
Luna had been a hundred times the dream whisperer she was, a comparison that was only growing more and more apparent the longer Celestia spent singing to her subjects and hoping against hope that this would be the time that it would work. Yet once more the alicorn had sacrificed her sanity and slumber for a futile attempt at assuaging the nightmares that plagued her populace.
“What a waste,” she whispered, head hung low in defeat, tears already beginning to form at the edges of her vision.
Her grip suddenly vanished entirely, leaving the alicorn sprawled out on the floor, as helpless as a babe.
As the tears began to crawl down her cheeks, Celestia reached up and grabbed at the door jam, trying to find purchase in order to heft her hooves under her. Just as she thought she had it, and began to pick herself back up, she slipped once more, landing back in the same heap she had nearly crawled out of.
“Look at you,” Celestia remarked wryly, “lying on the floor like you've just learned to walk.”
The alicorn let her head fall to the ground, the weight of her responsibilities carrying her to the floor and holding her down, forcing her to embrace the cool stone.
“A millennia of plans, of ensuring for every eventuality only to be undone by a chance encounter by a thing from beyond the stars.” The alicorn chuckled darkly even as the tears continued to roll down her face, smearing the makeup she had ironically applied to hide the dark circles that clung to the underside of her eyes. “What's your plan this time, Celestia?”
“Lay on the floor and talk to yourself until you finally lose it completely?” She sighed. “And to think, I found the elements, their bearers and even coerced harmony itself to ensure things came together in just such a manner that you would finally be free.”
“But now two are nearly lost to loneliness and isolation while another is no longer connecting with her very element.” The mare sniffed. “And that's not even including Twilight…” Celestia sniffed harder, her trickle of tears threatening to turn into a river. “Poor, poor Twilight. What hope do I have against a plague from beyond the very stars?”
For several long minutes she lay there, wallowing in self-loathing and crying silently, the cool sensation of the stone floor being her only company.
“I will not be undone by fear before I have even had a chance at failing,” she announced suddenly, using her magic, the alicorn wiped away her tears. “If fate wishes to throw me a curve ball, I will not lay here without even giving a swing.”
Pushing her hooves under her, the alicorn stood on shaky limbs, her jaw clenched tight as she fought against her own weakness. With one last heave, she was standing once more, her weakness slowly being replaced by determination born of pure, unrelenting stubbornness.
“Breathe, Celestia, just breathe.” The alicorn closed her eyes and focused on the simple act of breathing and forcing out all other thought of failure and fear.
With a final breathe, the mare opened her eyes and lit her horn, feeling the familiar tug of the sun as it waited patiently below the horizon. With a small burst of magic, the alicorn completed the familiar spell, giving the sun all the encouragement it needed to begin its ponderous journey across the sky, while simultaneously putting away the petulant moon which had stubburly tried to cling to the sky.
With victory came relief, which in turn felt like a splash of cold water across the mare’s face, startling her out of her own internal problems and once more reminding the alicorn of her greater place in the world. “Get moving, Celestia,” she chided herself.
Putting a hoof in front of the other, Celestia trotted into the centre of the room, confidence surging with every consecutively less shaky step. A quick spark of magic told her that she had only a few hours left before she would have to pick up Twilight and meet up with the class. Which should be just enough time to get a power nap, or at least to make some very powerful coffee.
After one last deep breath, the alicorn straightened her spine and forced a smile to her lips. With that same smile on her face, the alicorn lit her horn, and tried not to think about how terrible she must look right now.
Twilight groaned, glancing nervously between Celestia’s legs and sneaking a glance at the small group of fillies and colts waiting around a statue of some unicorn noble Twilight didn't care enough about to know anything on. “Do we have to do this? Can't I just read about the places on this field trip?”
Celestia sighed, and looked down at the filly using one of her legs as a shield. “Twilight, you cannot remain a recluse forever. Plus didn't you say you wanted to see that new museum of…” The alicorn scratched her head. “Pegasus history?”
The filly rolled her eyes. “It's a museum dedicated to the Highwind wars.”
“Exactly. See, I remembered.”
Twilight shook her head, dodging behind the alicorn’s leg when a curious filly glanced in their direction. “So are we going to go back to the castle or what?” Twilight asked pleadingly, looking up at the alicorn with big, watery eyes.
“She's in the middle of a lecture, it would be rude to interrupt, don't you think?” Celestia asked, smiling down at the nervous filly.
“I guess,” Twilight muttered.
Together the pair stood silently, waiting for the yellow and orange unicorn teacher to finish her lecture on the statue, though most of that fell on deaf ears as the majority of the students were already staring at the alicorn that stood a dozen feet away. Twilight rolled her eyes, wondering what the point of waiting was, if they were already distracted. Thankfully she didn't have to wait much longer as the mare finished her lecture and turned towards them.
“And today we will be having two very special guests joining our field trip,” Busy Bee announced excitedly, raising a hoof towards the pair and smiling widely. “Please give a warm middle Canterlot welcome to Princess Celestia and Twilight Sparkle.”
The colts and fillies clopped their hooves in admiration, though most of them merely stood there quietly, either still stunned, or bored with very few falling between the two extremes. Celestia strode forward, smiling down at the class with her usual serene expression. “I hope you don't mind me and my student joining you for your field trip.”
“No way!” one student yelled.
Busy Bee chuckled. “I’m sure that's fine, right kids?”
A chorus of agreement answered the teacher’s question.
“Why thank you.” Celestia smiled, gently pushing Twilight out from between her legs. “Go on, Twilight. Don't worry, I’ll be right here.”
The filly blinked, looking from the alicorn to the foals and back again. “I’m not getting out of this, am I?”
“Nope.” Celestia smirked. “So you'd better make the most of it.”
Twilight sighed and walked over to the group, taking a spot next to a group of fillies, who instantly began a hushed conversation, occasionally glancing in Twilight’s direction. Sighing to herself, Twilight picked up her hooves and began to follow the group, not even hearing the brief description Busy Bee gave of their next location.
Giving Celestia a final glance, Twilight fell into line with the rest of the class, desperately trying to bring as little attention to herself as possible.
The next location was a lot like the first, another statue, another plaque, another story that went along with it. Unfortunately this one she actually knew, leaving her bored, and anxious in the midst of so many other ponies.
“What school do you go to?” avoice asked, startling Twilight.
“What?” Twilight squeaked, spinning around to find a short, brown and white mottled earth pony looking at her.
“What school do you go to?” the colt repeated, cocking his head. “Do you speak Equestrian?”
“It's actually called Equish, and yes, I speak it.” Twilight frowned. “And I don't go to any school, Celestia teaches me.”
“Wooow,” the colt muttered, mouth agape. “That's so cool. I bet you know like tons of spells and stuff, right?”
“Not to brag, but I know sixty-seven spells,” Twilight announced, a hint of pride worming into her voice.
The earth pony cocked his head. “Is that a lot?”
Twilight slumped. “Yeah.”
“Cool.” The colt smiled, only to blink, and slap a hoof to his face. “Oh my bad, I forgot to introduce myself, I’m Mouse Trap.”
“Twilight Sparkle.” The filly extended her hoof and clopped it against the colt’s.
“Yeah, I remember.”
“Right.” Twilight rubbed the back of her neck awkwardly.
A glance over at the teacher told her that she was not anywhere near the end of her lecture, drawing a sigh to her lips. What do I even say? Should I just walk away? Twilight blinked, looking at the smiling colt and then back to the teacher.
Without any clear idea what to do, Twilight turned away awkwardly, trying to pay attention to the teacher. That was interrupted when she felt the presence of Celestia, who had walked up next to them and was now leaning down. “Ask him what his favorite book is,” she whispered.
Twilight looked up at her teacher in confusion. “Shouldn't I pay attention to Miss Busy?”
Celestia shrugged, a coy smirk on her lips. “We both know you've read all about May Weather and her many exploits, now go on, ask him.”
Twilight looked back to the strange colt and smiled awkwardly. “Hey uh, do you like to read?”
The colt shrugged. “Not really, just Daring Do and stuff.”
The filly’s eyes lit up, drawing a bemused expression from Mouse Trap. “Which one is your favorite?”
“Hmmm.” The colt tapped his chin. “Daring Do and the Temple of Doom is pretty awesome, but so is Cloudstone Curio.” He shrugged. “I guess both of them, what about you?”
“Temple of Doom is pretty cool, but my favorite is definitely Daring Do and the Crystal Skull!” Twilight smiled widely, forgetting about her enlarged canines and earning her a shocked expression from the formerly friendly colt.
“I, uh...” He gulped, unable to pull his eyes from the filly’s sharp teeth.
Twilight blinked, only now realizing what he was looking at. “S-sorry.”
“Augh, isn't that the one with the aliens?” Twilight turned to the source of the disgusted voice, and found that it belonged to a purple filly with a long white mane.
“Yeah, so?” Twilight asked defensively, looking around for Celestia, only to notice that she was distracted by a small group of colts all peppering her with questions.
“That is so dumb.” The filly scoffed. “Everypony knows aliens aren't real.”
“Yeah,” asecond filly added with a smirk. “Only dumb earth ponies believe stuff like that.”
“Hey!” Mouse Trap yelled.
“That's not very nice,” Twilight added, taking a nervous step back and looking around for the teacher.
The first filly rolled her eyes. “Who cares what some freak thinks.”
Twilight gulped, desperately searching for anyone capable of pulling her out of the awkward situation she seemed to have found herself in. A gentle hoof against her shoulder seemed to ease her worries, and she didn't even have to look up to know who was there.
Celestia leaned down, a smirk on her lips. “How do you know there aren't aliens here already?”
The two fillies exchanged a confused glance, the second shaking her head while the first seemed unconvinced, and took a step forward. “My daddy says aliens aren't real and that's just an excuse dumb farmers make to explain crop circles.”
Celestia rolled her eyes. “And what if I told you it wasn't an excuse?”
The first filly gulped, her eyes going wide. “Is there really aliens?”
The alicorn shared a wry smile with Mouse Trap and Twilight. “Aliens landing on our planet would be incredibly unlikely...” Her smirk grew and she suddenly leaned in close, whispering to the two fillies. “But not impossible. Isn't that right, Twilight?”
Twilight blinked, looking up at Celestia she was about to speak, only to be interrupted by the unspoken words of the alicorn. I wonder if this kid is related to Sergeant Bull Shot? That would explain the mane, and the poor attitude. Twilight blinked, shaking her head.
“Right, Twilight?” Celestia asked again, concern evident in her voice.
“Errr… Daring Do fought ancient crusader ponies that somehow became immortal. Nevermind that whole story when she fought a nightmare.” Twilight shrugged. “Aliens don't seem that farfetched.”
Both fillies blinked, with the first one opening her mouth to speak, only to stop. “I… never really thought of it like that.”
“Ha.” Mouse Trap chuckled. “Who's dumb now?”
Celestia placed a hoof on the colt’s shoulder. “There's no reason to be like that. We’re all just having fun, right girls?”
All three fillies nodded, with Twilight beginning to smile.
“Now then, you better listen to what Miss Busy Bee has to say,” Celestia remarked
“Yes, Princess Celestia,” the two fillies droned.
Twilight smiled up at her teacher, who in turn leaned down and whispered in the filly’s ear, “I’m going to talk to Busy Bee, let me know if you need anything, okay?”
Twilight nodded. “Okay.”
Celestia smiled and ruffled the filly’s mane. “Keep out of trouble.”
The filly pouted and ran a hoof through her mane, trying to fix the damage her teacher had wrought, not even noticing the smile that slowly grew across her face.
Aw, Celestia is Mom-ing and doesn't even realize it.
But how did they light up more?
9432753 Good question
I was wondering when you were going to update, what cute chapter end.
9432798
Because magic glowy eyeballs.
9432803
Fair enough.
So now we have Terran ponies, Protoss ponies, and Zerg ponies. Are you just trying to recreate the Korpulu Sector entirely in Equestria?
9432862
Wait, when did we get protoss ponies? or are those unicorns?
9433065 Some of the noble ponies earlier talked, behind closed doors, about using the Khala.
9433074
Yup.
Nice, I can'T wait to see Derpy infested
9433242
They arent super important right now, kind of like the power armor earth ponies, but they will be later.
This story just gets better and better
9433301
Eh, its not as punchy a sentance. "What the hell?" Rolls off the tongue much better then. "What the tartarus?"
9433256
I have nothing against the power armor ponies, but again I don't find them necessary. It's like you're trying to bring everything from Starcraft over but-as-ponies instead of just leaving it to the lone zerg queen. I didn't find the unicorn supremacists necessary, I didn't find the introduction of the khala necessary, and I don't see the introduction of terran-armor ponies necessary either. I was enjoying the story quite well just watching the development of little Twilight and her passenger. Then these things keep being introduced and I .... just find them wholly unnecessary for what you already had going, which was fantastic. It's seeming less and less like a crossover and more like a fusion of the two universes.
I'm seeing a lot of threads being laid out. Side characters, hints at things going on elsewhere. Seeing how they are tied together will be quite enjoyable.
9433534
But that is what a cross over is, two universes colliding. Thats kinda the premise of a cross over. Regardless, I can see where your coming from, and I'm gonna tell you right now that if you want a simple slice of life story that follows only Twilight and the stakes are never raised, then stop now because that certainly wont be true in a couple of chapters.
Twilight has got an energy upgrade! I wonder what comes next in her evolution tree.
Spit acid ability9433734
Does that make Celestia empress Mensk?
9433534 It seems Jest is trying to compensate for power creep. If the Zerg fully recover Equestria is screwed, period. Adding in Protoss ancestry and Terran technology levels the playing field somewhat, and prolongs the coming conflict to the point that a balance might be found.
Alternatively, he could just say, "Twilight is crazy overpowered. This story's conflict is not between her and anyone else, but fighting herself and the Zerg's worst instincts to keep from destroying everything she loves," and leave all the other stuff by the wayside. It sounds like this is what you wanted and aren't getting.
Well given that there are analogues to Terran and Protoss showing up, it makes me wonder a few things that could negatively or positively effect the story, going forward.
1. How are events of the show going to factor in? Obviously this story isn't going to be a Zerg-Twi living through each episode with major or minor changes. But certain major events should still be set in stone. Such as the arrival of Nightmare Moon, Discord, The Crystal Empire's return etc. But other events might now be erased, such as the Changeling invasion/Canterlot Wedding, the events of Equestria Girls and the MLP movie. Or the creation of Starlight Glimmer's village.
2. If there are going to be Terran Marine Ponies. (Marine Ponies? Just Marines?) Does that mean you will make some unique yet Terran influences soldiers for Equestria, such as Power Armoured Griffin mercenaries/Auxiliaries, Heavily Armed and Armoured Buffalo Allies, Diamond Dog Sappers, Power Armoured Pegasi, with lightning or weather-themed weapons? Or fire-focused Infantry like the FIrebats? I got a hint that you might be planning that, given Twilight's DNA was seemingly vulnerable to high level fire damage. (Just listing a few examples. Didn't want to ramble about Unicorn Protoss ideas or Potential Zerg strains.)
3. Will an Equestrian equivalent to Abathur possibly spring up in the story? Asking cause I saw these two images and thought a similar entity might appear in this story.
derpicdn.net/img/2013/4/20/303500/full.png
i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/001/200/919/bda.jpg
Uh oh! Who has disconnected from their element??? Applejack?
Poor Celestia, she's working herself to the bone!
Keep going! ;)
9433773
Plus much more, if you've played Starcraft 2, such as how Amon works into this, and the Zerg and Protoss actually being the same beings just split in two.
There is also how Zergs are meant to eat the essence of a being, and simulate it into their fold. So why hasn't that happened with Twilight? Like with Kerrigan to make the Queen of Blade, Twilight normally would have been killed, absorbed, and respawn later as a new being.
What is going on with Twilight is more like the Infested, which has no control, and are meant to run at the enemy, and explode to infect even more of them. Not heal them, grow them, or lay dormant.
---
Then there is the problem with the Khala, which links everyone's mind together in a hive mind. WHY would the Nobles want that? They are basically submitting themselves to being slaves, and no longer able to lie, cheat, steal, or compete against each other. Remember that Protoss were CREATED with the Khala forced on them since creation, to match the Zerg's Hive Mind as a form of Control.
No one in their right mind would WILLINGLY give up their mind to join with others, ESPECIALLY not nobles who are greedy and out only for themselves.
No, if you were going to have anyone be the 'Protoss' with the Khala, I would have gone with the Changelings, and linked it with their horns. As the Reformed Changelings don't all have horns, the black unreformed ones all do, and already act like Protoss in a way with their Hive Mind.
Heck, you could have BOTH Changelings existing. The bring colorful ones being the normal Protoss, and the Black ones being Dark Templar only instead of Invisibility, their ability is to change forms. They also all have magic too, which can be fed into a shield generator so they all have shields too.
Yay, update!! More please.
9433618
And the two universes collide with the Zerg alone. But by continuing to add Starcraft elements with the addition of "but as ponies", it feels less like a crossover to me and more like just a flat out fusion of the two universes.
Maybe I need to better define what I mean between what is a crossover and a fusion? In a crossover the two universes meet, and crossover/intermix a little, but their two storylines before that point were the same. An example would be the movies Freddy vs Jason, or AVP, I suppose. A fusion is where they intermix with each other so much they become indistinguishable from one another. An example of that would be the Fallout: Equestria universe. Equestria and Fallout in that are effectively the same thing, not two different universes that happened to bump into each other.
The odds of the Zerg leviathan reaching Equus/Equestria after a blind jump and then drifting for untold ages were slim to none. Then the Khala also cropping up somehow out of nowhere in pony history? The odds of that and the Zerg drop down to virtually impossible. Now Terran tech has been replicated naturally by ponies? I think I'm more likely to win the Powerball lottery twenty times in a row than that happening, the odds are so infinitesimally small. It feels like we're just going to see a repeat of Starcraft events but with ponies at the rate it's going into how Starcraft elements keep getting mixed in.
But I'm out of time for now. Not enough time in the day sometimes I swear.
9433808
I like the analysis, but not everything is going to be a one to one take away from the game.
9434030
That is why this is an alternate universe, and not the one you imagined in your mind. It looks to me like you just want me to write a different story then the one I'm writing and I'm sorry to say thats not going to happen.
9434128
It would be more accurate to say that I liked the story you were writing, and then you started adding in a bunch of nonsensical things that have contributed nothing to the story you already had.
9434369
You cannot remain in the crib forever my freind, things must grow up, become larger, and move on. Nothing stays the same for long. That being said there are still plenty more slice of life chapters before things start escalating, so I hope you enjoy those.
While i am not up to date on this story i do wonder. What would a ascended zerg twilight look? As in did the alicorn ascension thing but still had the zerg dna in her
9434128
Mainly we want to know WHAT you are writing.
Namely, this line right here in the Description; "What she finds inside will change not only her destiny but the destiny of all on Equiss prime."; Pretty much sets the expectation of this just being a Twilight is a Zerg now, and we're going to focus just on that, and just her slice of life stuff and how it effects her world going forward. Such as Twilight being the new Queen of Blades, and uses the zerg to improve Equestria, inproving science, medical, and military tactics.
But now you're bringing in other Starcraft stuff, without it coming from space like the Zerg. And having not tied to twilight at all. Twilight hasn't done anything, she hasn't changed anything, she hasn't effected anything. It hasnt' changed her destiny, nor has it change the destiny of the planet. Terrian Tech, and Protoss Tech were ALREADY THERE as you are making quite clear. This wasn't something Celestia invented now after Twilight killed a few ponies. This wasn't something that was added later after the Zerg already attacked. You have the Tech showing up at the EXACT same time as the Zerg. Without even a REASON for it. It just exists now.
In Starcraft there WAS a reason for the Tech to be there. Each person in the Terran Military is a prisoner, and their Power Armor is mobile prison suits with a kill switch in it if they try to desert. The Khala is physically part of the Protoss. It isn't an item, or implant, but like an Arm, or in the case of Protoss, their Hair. It's something they are physically born with.
So please explain to us not only the HOW the Tech got made, HOW Nobles got the Khala and HOW ponies made the first Power Armor, but also WHY they got made. WHY did someone make the Khala, WHY did the ponies start making Power Armor? You mentioned so Earth Ponies and Pegasi could fight as good as Unicorns, but you don't mention any constant wars, conflicts, or fighting. Who are the Unicorns fighting, that the Earth Ponies and Pegasi can't help at all? Hyppogriffs? Griffons? Dragons?
For someone to get the idea to make Power Armor, would need 2 things. A constant war that is on going, and one that the ponies are losing and need better Tech to make it work.
Then there is another problem with this. If they have the Technology to make freak POWER ARMOR, why can't they upgrade any of their other tech? Those Power Armor are going to need a LOT of power, so why don't the ponies have Electricity yet? Why don't they have Engines and Cars? Why don't they have better weapons than spears and swords?
Or adding in Tech that we today do not have the Technology to create, let alone ponies stuck in the middle ages without Electricity. How are those Power Armor made? How did the Mold the Metal? How did they Soderize the metal to keep them together? How are they moving without Pistons and if they do have pistons how did they make them?!
---
Can you see yet, why we might have a little problem with ponies just, out of no where, deciding to make Starcraft level Tech, out of no where, in a world set in the MLP universe up till Twilight's exam. This isn't a future utopia, or high tech equestia, but a very basic low tech equestria from the show.
So please. Explain. Go into great detail. The more the better.
9434407
Sorry man, I'm not going to give a ton of spoilers for future chapters just because you seem to want me to write a different story than the one I currently am.
Her life is changed? Or have you not noticed the whole ostrization due to the freakiness of her new body. Her mere presence has changed things, and made the unicorn nobles more fearful and thus more brazen. We have also seen that Celestia knows about them, and would have assumably dealt with them, only for so much of her time to be devoted to trying to hold her plan to free her sister together.
Also if you really think about it most of this stuff would be easy to explain. Do you think Celestia would give a ton of money to someone with a bunch of weird prototype weapons that might be a pain if the general populace got a hold of them? In the show, probably not. But now that she doubts her military and there is a hostile force on planet? More then likely.
Also, the tech you think you see is not what you see. Nowhere did I say "These guys litterly have the exact same technology as the terrans." All I said is that it was bulky and had actuaters in it. Thats it, thats all. Why you assume that ALL the tech from the starcraft universe is already here is frankly insane. I cannot fathom how you assumed this. I only mentioned the khala and that their guards have the same STYLE of armor. Not that they are going around pumping out giant four legged walkers and whatnot. I've only barely hinted that the basics are possibly here, nothing more and any additional assumptions on your half are just that, wild assumptions.
In summary, you have a metric ton of tiny nitpicks, 99% of which are going to be explained in the future but I will not explain here because that would be spoilers.
Hmm. The power armor ponies should make for a very interesting ace in the hole come the coup. They certainly won't forget that blank check.
Oh, Celestia. She's working hard, not smart. You have to find the root causes with this sort of thing. Trying to address the symptoms in an area where Celestia can barely influence anything isn't going to help at all. Especially not with potential Bearers going off the rails. You're the Princess of the Day, Sunbutt. Do something for them in their waking hours.
Daring Do and the Cloudstone Curio, eh? Nothing like an artifact that doesn't want to be studied to frustrate an adventuring archeologist.
Brilliant plan, girls. Mock Celestia's personal student while she's literally standing three feet away from you. I see no way this could possibly go wrong.
Good to see Twilight spending some time among her peers, and that some of those peers can look past the mutations. Hopefully this is the beginning of a positive trend.
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Look, sometimes the only option for a midnight snack is the dimmer switch. A growing filly's got to eat, especially when she's eating for one and a half.
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I can't tell if you're serious with that question or are joking.
If you are in fact serious, Celestia is world's apart from Arcturus Mengsk
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If I had to guess, I would say Pinkie Pie is no longer connected to her element. If the Zerg visited the Rock Farm in search of minerals, she would very much have a reason to no longer be laughing.
9433411
That's because you haven't changed the sentence right. It would be "What in Tartarus". It's an actual location you can visit here, so it needs somethings different. "What the Hell!" is more of a descriptor that references an unknown but negative location then Tartarus.
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Fair. I still dont think it sounds quite as impactfull as hell though and trust me, I've done a ton of experimenting with the born in light series in this regard as nearly the entire thing takes place in tartarus. I feel like Hell would be just another name for tartarus, albiet one thats more slang then anythingand is reserved for adults to use as a curse.
9434613
Fair enough I suppose. Liking the whole thing as is. It's always a joy for me to run into someone writing Fanfiction how published novels or tv shows do it. Giving important details slowly. Not having the characters learn everything at once.
I certainly hope we learn why everything has made this little Equestria a mini Starcraft with all three factions represented.
feels like a fluff chapter but still very enjoyable bit of charicter development so i give it a pass, twilights continued inability to sleep is concerning however the little zerg in her needs to pick up the pace in certain areas if it wants her to not go insane
some neural redundencies perhaps, parts of the concious mind that are active when others arnt alowing her to effectivly stay awake constantly without any deterimental impact so long as she doesnt overstrain her mind
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What a dick-headed comment.
Stop nit-picking and just read. He never said anything about Protoss or Terran and nothing he put in the story even closely references them. Stop reading so “Between the lines.” If that can even be called between the lines.
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i was thinking pinkie as well
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The unicorn supremacists literally mention the Khala.
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this aint no space marinecdna.artstation.com/p/assets/images/images/000/616/142/large/evgeny-fedotov-final.jpg?1428669111 this is a SPACE MARINE wallpaperplay.com/walls/full/3/b/c/90696.jpg
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FOR THE GOD EMPEROR!!!!!
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Do you not know who he is?
9436929
And this is a pony Inquisitor :images-wixmp-ed30a86b8c4ca887773594c2.wixmp.com/intermediary/f/870f96ce-f44a-46c5-b7a9-cb3a87482641/d821seg-368fba9f-c49f-4cba-95f7-73412a8ae7b1.png/v1/fill/w_1280,h_1318,q_80,strp/twinquisitor_by_shaadorian_d821seg-fullview.jpg
(Source)
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So we've been informed. They did visit the chef, didn't know if they actually followed through immediately though.
Guess imma quickly promote this from "Read Later" to "Favorite". Good work there, Jest, looking forward to future chapters.
This is my favorite story at the moment and when would twilight start showing Zerg body parts other than her eyes (are there other reformations?)
9458364
This month.
Oh how exciting