• Member Since 10th Mar, 2017
  • offline last seen 15 hours ago

Chemtest


Writing’s pretty fun.

T

This story is a sequel to I Am The Villain!


Emperor McBad, villain, hybrid, Emperor of Bananaramma (previously the Crystal Empire), Liberator of the Equestrian Republic.

His Empire including reformed villains of all kinds, his technology advanced, and his Corporation safely in peace. Sounds like he should be able to lean back and relax, right?

Yeah, as if things are going to be normal around McBad.

Chapters (9)
Comments ( 38 )
Comment posted by Midnight-Blue766 deleted Sep 4th, 2018

One comment, and it’s deleted. Perfect.

9150853
Here's another comment; I laughed to much at that thumbnail

Wow more dialog.

Ahh nothing like good Ole random chaos... delicious

I smile darkly, “You will be chased out of town by our resident cannibal vampire old man. I don’t think you want to try and run from Jim Pickens. He will follow you, he will find you, he will lock you in his basement, and will probably kill you in some hilarious way. That’s not to mention Jim’s Cult, and if there was anything worse than Pickens hunting you down, it’s Pickens and his Cult members (including the Grim Reaper I might add) chasing you down together.”

YES
JUST...JUST YES

9152922
yes especially when paired with some fine vintage pineapple cherry wine and some durian(bleh) and shaving cream pizza

9154394
oh and the toenail pie with spinage drizzle and topped with an orange sprinkled with dew off of a sweating egg (or if your alergic to eggs replace with chimpanzee dandruff, and if alergic to both of them instead add 5 tea spoon fulls of teardrops from watching a double rainbow)

9154406
And don't forget the cinnamon and garlic cake with birch tree sprinkles and rope frosting that says 'angry p-day iscord-day

9154445
and the vanilla ice cream, (what it is good with anything) with the eating utensils which are edible that taste like snoz berries

9154507
And don't forget the chocolate confetti and grey-toned streamers with pictures of drocsid

9154548
and the thing that ties it all together the cotton candy clouds that rain chocolate milk (of course made so they only rained when punched/bucked) that are flying around everywhere

9154731
Is that fuckin markiplier and clones?

I hand him a sheet of paper, “Jim Pickens, I call upon you for a war.”

Oh shoot.

He takes the paper, “War, eh?”

Oh god.

He looks at me excitedly, “I get to keep them in the basement?”

Oh...

I nod, “Until the war is done, you may keep those you capture in your basement.”

OH...

He nods quickly, “I’ll get the Cult ready right away.”

OH GOD THIS WILL BE GLORIUS!!!

Hmm.
Well, if he ever needs a Lawyer I know just the gu-gi-thing, just the thing.
They can even double as Knight!

CALL UPON THE DESTROYER!
THE STOMPER OF VILLAGES!
THE ATTORNEY AT LAW!

THIS IS BLOODY GLORIOUS

He smiles, and walks up to the Yak, “I am Jim Pickens. My power is my friend. Call him Kevin.”

Pickens turns to face him, “Oh, him? Call him Kevin. Well, you can’t call him Kevin. Soon, you won’t be able to call anything.”

Roll credits *ding*

I smooth out my robe, “Lead the charge. If I could survive the War of the Combine, I can survive out there. Just like that war, my guards need inspiration. Get an airship ready for me.”

Compared to that war, this war is a cake walk

”Í̵̴̡͍͙͇͈́f̢̳̘̤͎̣̯͈͖̪̫̤̦̦̘͠ͅͅ ̢̡̢͍̤̰͉̺̻̰̪͉̦̙̤̗͔͈̰ì̡̜͈͓̭̼͓̼͖͍͕̠̩͚͚͜͠t̨̨̨͔̗̜̼̟̞̯̦͈͍̥̮͕͔͞ ̢̘͔̘̖͕̝̖̝̖̜b̮̮̗͚̹̭͎̘͕̙̕͜l̜̼̮̟͉͖̙͙̪͔̺̼̯̙͓͉̀͝ę̸̸͇̳͚͓͈̯̣̖̻̠̦̟̘̩̕͝ͅé͘͟҉̣̣̳͚̠͍͇̩̳̤̦͔͙͉̥̟̖d̞̖̥̪̦̭̕͞s̟̳̗̣̱̲͚̲̜̬̠̘̮̬̬̮͔̕͜͜ͅͅ,̢̡̭͖̜̮̘͠ ̵̖̹̻̪̞̩̪̯̼͟i̗̰̗͈̩͘͟͞ṭ̴̛͕͇̼͖̩̣̣̥͖̳͇̣̖͠ͅ ̸̵̨̳̤͉̻͉͍͕̼̜̜͖̙c̨̡̡̳͕͓͍̞̣̥̻͙̦̘͕͚̫̼͕̕a̶̸̯̠͓̲̟͜n̴̷̷̩̟͓̭̟͕̰̜͠͞ ͏̱̫̦̞͇̮̖̝̫̘̪̠͙͜͢͞d͏͇͚͚͈̯̙͚̺̘̗̳̫̻̙̳͘i̷̖̦̜̦̳̺̖͚̠̤̖͍e̢͖̞̫̣͓͖.̀͟҉̵̞͖̰̪͎͞”

I REBUKE THEE!!! <-- link

9277343
Ah yes, from the entire chapter, only the last word is something to respond to.

9277443
Well duh, why else would I only respond to that one line

She smiles, “Alright then!” She takes out her clipboard, “Remember that Neighgerian scam letter you got with the invite to the Bananaramma Corporation Cooperation Celebration?”

Hmm... if you want to deal with scams I recommend watching James Veitch on YouTube

I sit in the cold cave, and begin my chanting, “מלך הצל, שליט האופל. מהצל שלך אנחנו קוראים לך. להביס את המתחזה על כס המלוכה. מה שהוא עשה, אנחנו קוראים לך.” (This is the obligatory reminder that this goes from right to left, not left to right) “להילחם על כס המלוכה שלי. כדי לעקוב אחר השיחה של כאוס. מי שמחכה מאחורי הקירות קורא לך, הכוורת כדי לעורר תוהו ובוהו. תקשיב לשיחתו, וקום!“

Translation: King of the Shadow, ruler of darkness. From your shadow we call you. Defeat the impostor on the throne. What he did, we call you Fight for my throne. To follow the conversation of chaos. Whoever waits behind the walls calls you, the hive to arouse chaos. Listen to his conversation, and line

And in the background, two unknown creatures speak.

”So, hive mind. Allies until he’s gone?”

”Y̯̺̫͔e̵̩̣̣͓͔̹̺̟͘s͟҉̙̻͉̲̞͟,͓͔̠̹̟̜̝̤̘͝ ̵̺͖̲̗̹̫̩̱͢K̖͕͔͇̼͓e̬͍͉͇̭͝͠ͅͅv̳͖͇̬̯͙̮͞į̸̴̗̗̱͈̟̠n͕͈͓̺̺͚̕,̟͖̞͚́ ͢҉̺͞i̦̮͍͔̳f̷̨͔̝̦̜̦̮̪̬ ̵͉̜̭͞t̴̫̞̖͈̬͓h̨͈̙͎́i̧͏̭͙ș̶͔̜́͠ ̵̴̰̘̼͉̯̯̪c̸̹̝̩͉̼̦̹̘͟͝r̶̜͚̠̩̜͘ͅe̳̟̣ͅa̧̠̤͖̠̲̬t̸̰̺̭̪͎͉͟ͅư̧̺̖̖͇̘r̷̭̰̭̼̪ͅe̮̠͓̺̦̦̟͘͠͠ ̡̲̲̪͜c͇͍a͏̱̘̬̰n͇̤̕ ̴̨̲̣̘̠́t̫̼̬͍̺̟̖̣̙͟a̮̘͚̟̳̱̲̜͞k͓͚͠͡͡e̷̥̪̳̗̭̝͖̣̕ ̜͈͘ć̸͖͓͇̘̮͎̝a̡͏̦͈̦̱̣̳̹̙̬r҉͎̫͕͈̝͍ḙ̶͈͍͡ ̮̟̘̝̝̬͠o̫͙̜̹͠f͏̷̗̪͖̟̻̞͉̙̗ ̨͘͏̻h̜̦̯͚͘i͉m͔͖̣̹͇͍.̦̺͔”

”Oh, Pickens is a wonderful servant. Either way, he only comes in when King of Shadows over here weakens him.”

”T̴̡͖̦h̶̠͟e҉̴͖̥̦̜ ̶̢͍͙̹͖̹̜̩̕h͠͏͏̟̮̤ỳ̜͔̭̺ͅb̘͎́̕r̢̤͖̞̻̣̀̕i̷̶̪͓̯͕̯̝d̴̨̬͕̼̱ ̗͖̹̯̞͎̳͜ḅ̢̩̖̠̱̩̳̬l̠̕͞e̢̛̹̻͖e̴̤̭̞̠d̵̻̞͠ș̙́.͉̝͙͚̣̖̤̯͢͞ ̴͎̪͕̘͕͍͓͚H͚̞͘e͏̻ ̧̠͝ͅc͙̼̩̫͓͈a̻̥̬̠̫̹̙ņ̙̺͔̫͡ ̯͖̞̠̠͖̗͘d̞̬̰̹͙i̧̩͖̠͘͢e̴̶̳̤̗̣̭̳̙͞.̳̳͓̘̜̯͘ ̨̙́I̳͇͔ ̱͇͚͎̱͎̞̮́͜w̨̢̹͔̺͉̣͡ͅi̠̲̮̘͙͚̹͡ͅl̸̫͎̻l̢̧̞̺ ̸͍͍͚͔̩̟͉̙͡͡m̩͖͔̖̻͝ạ̵̸̣̯̪̦͜ḳ̖̯̩͢͝e҉҉̰̭͚̤ ̗̣̮͝s҉̖̲ų̘̗r̙̞͔͓̰͎e̢̖̙ ̯̳͞b̷̴͉̱͙̯͈o̘̦̗̜̞͇̖̞̩͜t̡̛҉̖̟̦̖͕h̷̜͚͔̬́͘ ̜̥͖̮̺o̷̥̙̦̼̖̖͞u̢̳̝̗̰͈͕ͅr͖̩̰͎̭̞̕͝ ̗̘͟p̡̣̻̟̙͙̥͟u̹͙̪̤p̺̟͍̟p͏͙͎̩e҉͔̻̰͓͔t̹̰̻͍̼͖̩s̨̹̥̞͉̼̮͖̭̀͝ ̹̳̲̕ḩ̵͓̦͕̻͙͈̟̲͢a҉̷̶̰͚̪̮v̲̩̳͖̘̖̫͍é̗̝̟͈͢͞ ̵̸̳p͏͇̥̝̗o̶̘̱͕̟̖͠w̡̻̙̕e̬͖̤̘͓ŕ̢͎.̷̣̼̦͠ ҉͚̗͘Y̶͍̪̝͢o͏͙̖̖͇̬̘͞u͏̢̭̙ ̸̹m͠҉̳̤̼̖̪͖ͅa̕͏̥͍͍̲̤k̳͕͙̱̼̱͟é̙̩̩̫̗̜̟̞̰͞ ́͜͏̺̬̭̳̤͉ţ̥͖͞h̞͈̤̗̥̕͢ͅe͈͢͢ ̪͓̯̗̰̼̼͝h҉̰̟y̟͕̣͇͢ͅb͍̜͇̼r̵̫̖̹̲̼̺̻ì̙͙̭̩͇̠d̵̛̫̖̬̣ ͈̬͔̦͔̪̬͙̲͘͟͠b̧̙̠́͜l͔̯̮̰̫͚e̬̬e̠̼̕d͍͢͝ ͙͕̜̭͞͝ͅu̸̙̠̤̠̗̫̯͠n͘͘҉̱̺̖̼̙t̡͚̣ì̥̣͞l̞͖ͅ ̶̗̤̩̬̩̝̥̠h͙̦̹e̢͓͖͕ ̲͕̺̪̘̕͡d̨̰̜̩̜̱͘i͚̲͝ȩ̻̕͠s̯̣̮̭͍̩̯̭.̸̳̀”

As they speak, the ritual ends.

And one red horn starts to grow.

Pickens smiles, “Perfect.”

So, Pickens is a traitor, Sombra might be alive, and Kevin might be a part of all of this, along with the rest of the changlings. Did I get all of that right?

9281627
That’s... that’s the wrong Kevin.

9281638
No. The Kevin with Pickens. As seen in the chapter called Call Him Kevin.

9281647
Oh so it's this Kevin, thanks :scootangel:

Never seen hybrew done in a fic before. Good job.

I pat her on the head, “I’ll just go to the King, and explain at how his son sniffed to much glue and needs to be picked up. I’m on good relations with him, we should be fine.”

funniest line ever

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