--- Intrusion ---
An endless blue sky. A thick expanse of tropical greenery. Hot and humid air, thick with a morning mist. And what looked to be a rather large puffin with strange purple feathers.
Those were the last things Spike saw before he was abruptly awoken from his slumber by a loud bump from somewhere else in the house. He was imminently made aware of his surroundings as he bolted upright in the twisted mass of blankets and pillows that were formerly a bedspread, eyes futilely darting about the darkened environment. It was the dead of night, he could surmise that much, and two years living on the road with Twilight had trained the infant dragon to be wary of unusual sounds in the night. Even in the safety of an established shelter like this one. The time he'd spent traveling alongside his favorite pony had also taught him exactly what to do in such an instance.
Wake up Twilight.
Swallowing his anxieties and attempting to keep himself calm, he slowly crawled out of his bed and began to slowly sneak his way towards Twilight's bedroom. The last thing he needed to do in this instance was panic. He needed to stay calm and alert, he couldn't let whatever fears he had at the moment get the better of him. He slowly advanced, keeping his whole body kept close to the ground, and kept repeating the words "don't be scared" in his head. It wasn't much farther now, he could see the moonlight beaming out of Twilight's bedroom door.
"I honestly can't believe you were that dumb," an unfamiliar voice spoke from the bedroom, "You're supposed to be smarter than that. I know you're smarter than that."
Spike froze mere inches away from the doorframe. Someone was in their house. That was what the dragon ended up fixating on the most. There was a stranger in their house, in Twilight's bedroom. How they had gotten in was beyond Spike, they shouldn't have been able to get past Twilight's magical barrier thing. Right? That's what Twilight had assured him of, anyway. But did she even use that spell on their house? They only needed it to keep their privacy in hotels and stuff, so would Twilight even think to use it in their house? Spike had absolutely no idea, and it was an unbearable feeling.
Okay, okay, calm down, it's fine Spike tried to convince himself, Twilight said she's been making friends here... Pinkels, Rarely, and Apple-Jax... maybe she's just talking to one of them?... In the middle of the night... in her bedroom... in the dark... without telling me...
Ever so slowly, the dragon crept forward despite his better judgment telling him otherwise. He poked his head into the room ever so slowly, holding his breath to try and conceal his presence as much as possible. And standing there in the pale moonlight was a unicorn with heavy-looking saddlebags, a mare based on her voice, standing right by Twilight's bed with what he could make out as a forlorn expression. The features that caught his eye most were the blue streaks in the mare's mane and tail, and the silver watch that dangled from her neck. A sudden blue glow from her horn drew Spike's eyes back to the bed as the unicorn pulled the covers over Twilight's sleeping form, tucking her in for the night. Even in the low light, Spike saw Twilight's cloak and bags sitting off in one corner of the room—the culprit behind the thud that had woke him up, he soon realized.
"I mean, I know that little note of mine wasn't exactly very descriptive, but you could have come up with a better plan than that!" The mare went on in a sarcastic manner, huffing out a forced chuckle as she put a hoof against her face. "It's just not like you, of all ponies, to just go in headlong like that without a plan... or maybe it is, and I don't know you as well as I thought." She sighed mournfully. "I suppose that would make sense though, given the circumstances."
What in the world was she talking about? Spike hadn't the faintest idea, but from the sounds of it, it was like this unicorn knew Twilight. That should have been a calming revelation, but Spike was beyond being calm at this point. He was petrified in fear of what was going on, all he could do right now was watch and listen.
"But I suppose this is my fault. Should have expected you to investigate the ominous magical glowing thing. Why I didn't expect that is beyond me, but it's not the dumbest mistake I've made in my life... Well, if nothing else, at least you didn't bring—" She stopped herself midsentence, looking away from Twilight and instead of looking directly at the wall in front of her. "... He's standing right behind me, isn't he?"
Spike tried to scream, but no sound came out. He only trembled at her words, she knew he was there. He tried to run, but where was he to go? The only place he could go was to Twilight, and right now there was a possible threat standing between him and her. Frightened beyond reason, all he could do was wait to see what would happen, and hope that this unfamiliar face wouldn't hurt him.
"Don't worry, I'm not here to cause trouble," the mare slowly turned around and looked right at Spike. Her tone and her eyes seemed sincere enough, but Spike was still reasonably suspicious. Even as she continued talking to him. "I'm... well, the short version is I'm here to help—" she gestured towards Twilight's unconscious form—"She had a... rough night, we'll say. I figured she'd rather wake up in her bed then in the woods."
The nervous chuckle the mare managed to give didn't do much to calm Spike's own nerves. But when the mare took a few steps away from the bed, jutting with her head in such a way as to tell him to go to her. Even if that wasn't the intention, Spike took the opportunity and ran as fast as he could to the sleeping alicorn. Without hesitation, he began trying to stir her back into the waking world. But, much to his dismay, he didn't get the reaction he was hoping for.
"Care to... hazard a guess?" Twilight murmured wearily in her sleep. She was dreaming, that much was certain, and it seemed she wouldn't be waking up any time soon.
"I... think it'd be best to let her sleep," the unicorn suggested hesitantly, "Like I said: rough night. She'll get up in the morning, don't worry."
Spike didn't respond, he didn't even look back to the invader in his home. He just sat there, watching Twilight peacefully sleep while he was busy being terrified.
The mare sighed again. "It's okay, your secrets are safe with me... and if all goes according to plan, you'll never see me again." And with that, the unicorn simply began to leave like it was nothing, making her way to the door without another word. This was when Spike finally found his voice again, turning to face the mysterious mare who had broken into their home. He only had three words to say to her.
"Who are you?!"
The unicorn stopped and waited, apparently mulling over the long dragon's question. It felt like an eternity as the two just waited there in silence as Twilight continued to dream on. The mare hung her head, seemingly in shame, as she thought over his request for information. Finally, she decided to look back towards him, with a weary smile and saddened eyes. It almost looked as if she were about to cry.
"Starlight Glimmer. I was here to help... even if I didn't do a very good job." The mare looked down towards the ground shamefully. She took a long deep breath before turning her attention back to Spike with a very different look. Steely-eyed determination now lived in the space where obvious sorrow had just been, which didn't exactly put Spike at ease. "Take care of her for me, little guy. And... I'm sorry about this. But she can't know I was here."
Spike didn't answer the question. He wasn't given nearly enough time to even process what Starlight said before a blinding flash of blue light enveloped the room.
That was the last thing Spike saw before he was abruptly awoken from his slumber by his own nightmare. He shot up into an upright position, frantically scanning his dark bedroom as his young mind failed to segregate dream from reality. It didn't take him long to realize that he had been dreaming, however, a sigh of relief escaping his maw. He couldn't quite remember what his nightmare had entailed, but whatever it had been was enough to unnerve him greatly. Something felt wrong. He couldn't sleep.
So the young dragon did what any scared child would do in this situation. He sought out comfort from his guardian. He made his way into Twilight's bedroom at a quick but quiet pace, already feeling at ease as he discovered her sleeping form. He hesitated for only a moment before propping himself up onto the bed, beginning to lightly shake the slumbering pony.
"Twilight... I had another nightmare..." Spike's pleas were left unanswered, the alicorn continuing to peacefully sleep the night away. He wasn't going to be able to get her up anytime soon, not nicely anyway, so instead the dragon decided to go for the next best thing.
Ever so carefully, he wormed his way underneath the covers in-between Twilight's forehooves as she slept into something of a forced hug. The last thing he wanted after this right now was to be alone, it was a thought that he just couldn't handle at the moment. Thankfully for him, even in her sleepy state Twilight was at least able to recognize his presence and she gently pulled him closer. The unconscious hug from his closest companion wasn't what he had been wanting out of this experience, but it was enough to at least get the dragon to finally collect his nerves. And soon after, he found himself peacefully drifting back to sleep.
"You just leave that to me," Twilight muttered from behind him. Spike was certain that she was just talking in her sleep, but the kind words did their part in helping him to relax.
Excellent job on this latest chapter. LOVED the work that went into showing Spike's thoughts AND Spike's brief encounter with Starlight. On the upside, even if Starlight's agenda isn't clear, at least we know it's NOT hostile (considering she brought Twilight safely home instead of finishing her off when she had the chance is a REASONABLY good indication of THAT).
Anyway, the characterizations and future chapter set-ups are definitely quite well done in all the right places.
The comment about never seeing Starlight again is concerning, clearly she messed something up with time travel and is out to fix it, but I don't think trying to keep herself out of Twilight's life is a smart idea. Time in Equestria only seems to let you have a certain amount of leeway before you break things, best to try to get things to happen as close to the same as you can. But I'm sure the universe will be happy to teach Starlight that lesson again :p
9933977
Seeing how this is an alternate universe, maybe it's best if they never see Starlight again.
There might be a reason for why she thinks this. *wink wink*
9934023
well... it might even be a good idea to never even have seen Starlight in the first place... But it's your story, let's see where this goes.
Usually, when a story changes perspectives this late in the run, after having been kept on a single character, it messes with flow greatly. However, here, it works fine. Since Twilight is unconscious and incapable of giving a perspective, this is a good way of showing intervening events as well as foreshadowing. If the chapter were skipped, and Twilight just woke up in her bedroom, it would've been an intriguing mystery for awhile (though Twilight would probably suspect Knox's memory magic or possibly Fluttershy), but should Starlight appear in future chapters, the complete lack of foreshadowing would've led to more confusion (unless this chapter was used as a flashback of sorts).
Plus, with Spike being the primary secondary character, and us already having a pretty good read on his personality and thought processes, seeing his perspective comes as a lot more natural than it would from a character we aren't as familiar with. He's a dragon, but also still a young one who knows the world is a dangerous place first-hand (err, claw), and relies on Twilight for protection, and when she can't handle it, he's a bit confused about what to do, as any child would be, no matter how world-wise they are. You've done an excellent job describing his character as such in previous chapters, and his perspective bears it out as well, It's consistent.
And also, you kept the entire chapter on his perspective, rather than switch back-and-forth between characters, which can get confusing (seriously, there's almost nothing more annoying in a fanfic than the author having to literally spell out whose POV they've switched to at the start of a new perspective/paragraph; i.e. Spike's POV or Fluttershy's POV. If the reader can't tell whose perspective it is in the first few sentences, or without it blatantly being spelled out for them, then the author isn't doing a good job at delineating their characters.)
...I'm intrigued by the thought that Starlight, in saying that she knew Twilight's habits, may be a trans-dimensional Starlight from the show's canonical timeframe. Though, to be honest, I kinda like the thought of the fic as a stand-alone, instead of a cross-over. It's easier to immerse myself in this story's world and it's somewhat unique setting, when I'm not reminded of the show's canonical setting at the same time.
On a small side note, the fact that Spike didn't really know Pinkie, Rarity, or Applejack's names indicates that Twilight has only mentioned them to him briefly, even Pinkie, who has featured heavily in her Ponyville adventures thus far. This might be further proof that Twilight sees them as fleeting; mere memories of ponies they'll briefly meet on their eons-long journey together and probably forget almost as quickly and thus, not worthy of any great detail to Spike. Or maybe she's just trying to shield him from all the intrigue and worries of her daily life thus far so he can focus on his schooling instead? As a side effect, he's probably developed a closer bond with Fluttershy than he has with any other pony in years, sans Twilight. I wonder how this will affect his impression of her, or change his reaction to Rarity, when he finally meets her?
9935694
To answer the question in regards to Starlight: she isn't the in-show counterpart. Everything in this alt-universe is unique to this alt-universe. That's all I'm going to say about that. I have already planned out what her backstory in this universe is, but I'm not spoiling that at all because I can guarantee that nobody will guess what I've done too her.
As for the rest of your comment... wow. I'm so happy that my writing is making people think this much. It's... satisfying. Thank you. So much. I'm so happy people like this.
Oh, and the names thing? It was just meant to be a funny "ha ha, he doesn't know their names" bit... but I like your interpretation way better. And it makes a lot of sense with what I'm trying to build up to for Twilight.
9934414
There's reasons as to why Starlight is here. You won't know those reasons until much, much later. But they're there. I assure you of that.
Starlight seem to know too much about the situation and the two inhabitants. That seem to indicate either time travel, dimension travel or divination. Maybe she's an agent for the Queen? Or maybe the first Queen. Or maybe she come from the past and stuff is happening again. After all Luna did say that she REMEMBERED Twilight on their first meeting.
She did already acted weirdly at the library, looking past Twilight like she was seeing something that the alicorn didn't.
What about the other 4 years they were traveling?
Ok Starlight, just why is Twilight familiar with certain things and not others?
10331142
It's only been two years. For the first four years of Spike's life Twilight was still in school. She finished before she left with him to travel the world.