After a binge reading session is abruptly ended by Celestia, Twilight accidentally sends her into the past... And hundreds of light-years away. Meanwhile, in the past, Komato Annihilator Iosa is left to play mother for a small white mammal. All while trying not to get dishonorably discharged.
Want to look at Iji and what it holds? Check out the game guide here!
Well... Here goes. I need an editor because I have no idea how to make the story longer without changing too much. Sooooooo... help me out if ya can (Or want to)
On temporary hiatus because of writer's block.
Chapters (2)
Okay before I even read the prologue I need to start with some constructive criticism based upon how you've presented this story:
When doing a crossover type story like this, it is VERY bad form to require knowledge of something to understand what's going on. It's generally accepted that you provide enough info within story so that people who know little of the source material can follow at least what's happening. Secondly, with the source material being... relatively obscure it would behoove you to provide perhaps some kind of key points to the reader so they do not have to read an entire text dump.
The thing that is a little bit of a big one: you don't even provide a proper link to said text dump. You instead just provide a link to a website and people have to go find it themselves. To make matters worse on that... The Text Dump is... pretty hard to follow.
Honestly, you should spend your prologue kind of establishing the background info for the readers so they don't have to dig through a text dump. Tell us the key points and we can move from there.
I hope this helps!
9371709
I'll try to fix those problems. As stated, this is my first attempt at writing fanfiction (Let alone a crossover fic) so expect a LOT of mistakes.
The text dump? Yea... it's not exactly easy to follow unless you know what to look for, so I've instead linked to the game guide.
I'll try to add more so as to add a bit more background, so thanks for the feedback!
What is this a crossover of?
9385611
A crossover with the game Iji, which is a platforming game similar to metroid or mega man, but has a few key differences, such as two "teams" of enemy, a total of 16 usable weapons, and customization stats being the biggest differences. (There's also a weird dimentional anomaly called sector Z. You can read about it here)
You can also read about the game in general here.
Ah, Iji. Loved that game.
Probably should play once more cause I didn't know English all that well back then.
I understood little, but it is interesting.