• Member Since 1st Nov, 2018
  • offline last seen February 9th

pandaxxus


rain's pouring but it never lasts <3

Sequels1

E
Source

This story is a sequel to Smile


Rarity was excited to hear what great, amazing news her teacher had to say. She was planning for the whole third grade to watch her very first fashion show! She couldn’t wait for everyone to cheer her name after it was

cancelled?

No...that can’t be true, how could it be cancelled?! Why would it be cancelled?!

Rarity was on the verge of giving up, until a familiar rainbow haired girl stepped into the room.

What she had to say would change everything

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 10 )

Not sure why you haven't gotten more likes for these stories. You have a very fun writing style, and that is not a statement you need to unpack. You said you don't like your own writing, and I understand that, so I'll just say straight forward that I'm not saying it's unsophisticated, it's fun. It is simple, and that's not a bad thing. In fact it goes with the child like nature I think you're going for.
And I also understand what you keep saying about Rainbow bring ooc so far. This feels like a story leading up to the characters we know in the show.
I'm honestly not sure what I can say as far as improvements to make. Mostly I'd say to be more confident. You also mentioned in one that you thought the story was long. They are not, so feel free to go nuts.
If you're still worried about editing I have a suggestion that might help if your interested.
Sorry the comment was so long.

9300315
Thank you for commenting! You are definitely right about everything leading up to what we are used to seeing. The only one that is supposed to be out of character is Dash, so I’m really putting thought into the others so that they do seem like the characters we know. So far, I’m having most trouble with Applejack.

I also plan to move away from the child-like style soon, because I feel that it could get very tiring and boring reading mostly the same story every time. Confidence is also something that I’m working on :twilightsheepish:
I’m open to anything that could help with editing as well!

Thank you again for reading my stories!!

OMG!!!THIS IS BRILLIANT!:pinkiegasp::pinkiehappy::raritystarry:

9397640
Really?! Thank you!!:heart::twilightsmile:

Yes!It's brilliant!It was very realistic;I could picture everthing in my head.It was also a unique idea to talk about the past rather than the present.Many writers talk about the present and talk about what the characters are doing.Whereas you talk about the roots of people's lives e.g.how some of the characters actually met,or a character that another character in the past that would impact the future.Also,it would be fun imagining what Rarity and Rainbow Dash were doing when they were 8,rather than seeing them when they were in middle/high school.This story was wonderfully written.I congratulate you.:twilightsmile:

9399296
I’m so happy to see that you liked this story so much, especially when I consider this story to be weak compared to the others :pinkiesad2:. I’m always looking for stories about the characters when they were younger, and figured it would be fun to write about the topic. Thank youuuuuu! :rainbowkiss:

Helloooosss its me againnsss!! Again this is one of the best stories I have read! THIS IS JUST SO CUTE!! ICANT!! This is all goes along so well! I love it!! I hope you keep writing stories like this and much more!!! and I will keep supporting! ~ hehe💜

At first, I felt put off how OOC Rainbow Dash is with volunteering for a fashion show of all things. But then I remember, she's a kid, so there's room to take liberties with her character, as long as it makes sense. I'll have to first see where you are going with this.

9526892
Yea, she's almost meant to be OOC in all of them actually (A New Friend, Smile, and this one Shine). In this series, it's pretty much building up onto how Rainbow became to be the character we know and love. In Learn To Trust, it would clear up exactly why she's so OOC. And in the next one coming up, she should be more in character ^^

Login or register to comment