Shadowpony300
Joined 20th Jun, 2018 ·
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Nice story
Nice idea, but not very well executed. Hope it gets better
9351110
It's not even worth the ironic read due to how dry it is. But I expect the comments will be more fun.
Google Translate?
9351523
You know putting such a salty and hostile reply up doesn't make you look any better. I'm not saying your criticism is wrong or that he isn't acting petty by removing them but you kind of make yourself look just as petty.
You might and to go over this again
I spotted a lot of spelling mistakes
9377372
I'm not saying it to be mean
I'm just commenting
It just felt like it seemed a bit rushed, and hard to understand/read with them all, that's all
9350657
What do you mean, boi.
Eh, this story is definitely not for me. I mean, Zebras? Come on, man. They're smaller than ponies in every single way, and they don't have magic, wings, or super strength. I'm also not a guy who really likes rape and racism, but if you're like that, then go ahead.
How did Shining go from desperate and broken to calm and controlled so quickly?
Are you going to add some zebra transformation in this story?
What about the other mares in the Mane 6?
9421232
They will be on the next story
9421207
What do you mean
Interessting way, how Kip get nearly all the mane 6 and that Rarity has "bought" her Spike free. I like to see, it will stay so.
But i see a small mistake in this Chapter.
It should be 6 mares asleep with Spike, not 7, because it would mean, that Rarity was also sleeping after her spell.
9421322
i think he means, if the mares get transformed into Zebras or Zebra like Hybrids or only getting the black Zebra stripes on their furs.
I have some other Question. Is it possible, that some OCs can be part of some later Chapters or will it be only the mane 6 and other mares?
9427287
They are turning into zebra breeding mares
9457611
Ok, good. And what about my question?
9457630
To be part of a other story and l am doing only half of the mane 6
9457667
ok and if you will make a other story with OCs, i will be ok with that
Might be the first zebra-dom story that isn't primarily about cucking pony stallions. Interesting. If anything, this seems closer to Fall of Equestria.
Had already more interesting features as a sidechapter. Will Night Light have something similar or not?
And reading was sometimes difficult because some sentences lack commas. But I'm looking forward to more chapters.
You know, I think it could be interesting to see how the Zebra's society works back in their homeland. They appear to have a lot more mares than stallions and they somehow made almost all of them eager slaves, possibly using their alchemy. And do they plan to transplant this system to all other species? Is your Griffon story connected to this? Are they planning to crossbreed every other species with Zebras or will they, for example, turn Gabby into Gallus's slave? Or perhaps Silverstream?
9472576
Something like that
9472747
Hm. We'll have to see then, eh? In the meantime, we'll have to make due with more sexy Zebra-on-pony action. Like, cuffing their hands behind their backs, bending them over and having them compete in begging who gets to be spanked first. Or see one of them take Cheerilee and discuss what should be in her textbooks from now on. That'd be fun!
9472788
Cheerilee will be on a different story in the future
9472790
That's fine! I enjoy the bondage and slavery plenty!
So is this eventually going to lead to the scenes in the z-book series?
9545260
Close but yes
This is quite repetitive. You should try to add more variety in how the different mares react to it.
Why does this story have so many dislikes? I mean, it can't be that bad, right? ...Right?
9822097
The grammar is atrocious. It is in URGENT need of a proofreader. It just isn’t good enough to be worth the aggravation of reading it. I haven’t downvoted it (It’s not THAT bad), but I’ve got a backlog of over 900 stories to go through & I’m not wasting my time on this