A Visit by St. Neighcolas (also titled A Visit by Santa Hooves)

by BirdsBooksBrownies

A Visit By Saint Neighcolas

'Twas the night before Hearth's Warming, and all through the night, not a creature was stirring, not even a parasprite;

The hoof-socks hung by the chimney with care, in hopes that St. Neighcolas soon would be there; The Cutie Mark Crusaders lay all snug in their beds, whilst visions of cutie marks danced in their heads;

And The girls in their kerchiefs and Spike in his cap had just settled down for a long winter's nap, When out in the gardens there sprung such a clatter, Twilight sprang from her bed to see what was the matter.

Teleporting to the window with a near-blinding flash, she thrust open the window with a deafening crash.

Luna's moon on the sheets of vibrant white snow giving an otherworldly brilliance to objects below, When what to her disbelieving eyes should appear, but a colorful sleigh and eight flying reindeer, Led by an old bull so spritely and quick, she knew in a moment it must be the fabled St. Nick.

Faster than enraged griffins these reindeer flew as he whistled, and shouted, and called out to his crew; "Now, Alice! now, Aurora! now, Fir and Pine! On, Bori! on, Blizzard! on, Blitzen and Snowshine! To the top of the tambour! to the top of the hall! Now fly away! fly away! fly away all!"

As the ponies before an out of control scooter fly, When met with an obstacle, jumped to the sky; So up to the castle battlements they flew, with a bunch of Toys and other goodies too.

And then, in a moment, she heard on the roof the prancing and pawing of the multitude of hooves. As she drew her head in out of the chilly night air, Saint Neighcolas appeared making her stare.

His fur was tawny with various shades of brown, tan, and white although quite windblown from his wild flight; A large brown sack was held over his back, making him look quite like Big Mac.

His eyes-how they shimmered! his smile how jolly! His antlers were like tree boughs, adorned with festive holly! His smile was warm with lots of good cheer and the snow-white beard on his chin was a most curious attribute for a deer; He had a strong face and a generous tummy, that wiggled when he laughed as Pinkie did when playing with Gummy.

He was big and strong, a handsomely built bull despite his apparent age, Twilight couldn't help but blush when she caught his gaze; A gentle smile and a shake of his head, allowed Twilight to clear her head.

He spoke not a word, but attended his task, filled all of their socks; doing it quite fast, and with a nod and a stamp of his hoof he vanished from the room with a muffled poof; He re-attached himself to his team and with a boisterous cry and a debonair grin on his face he and his team leaped for the sky leaving not so much as a trace, But she heard him cry, just before vanishing from sight, "Happy Hearth's Warming to all, and to all a good-night."

Author's Note:

I hope everyone who reads this enjoys my little contribution to this fine site. And to repeat a line from the poem I wish you all a Happy Hearth's Warming season, and a wonderful night!

Comments

[Carabas]

Bonny stuff! Suitably Hearthswarming-y, and the second's a good ponification of the original classic. Good wee descriptions sprinkled throughout the first chapter as well, and plenty of good scene-setting.

If you're open to some critique, then some of the paragraphs in the first chapter have a bit too much heft to them, and breaking them into smaller parts would help their readability. The book titles you mention might not need underlined as well as italicised - the latter helps them stand out enough, and the second chapter needn't be all in bold. Something like "Twilight read..." followed by a line break, and then by the rest in normal text would do the job just fine.

Beyond those points, though, it's a good wee piece. Thank you for it, and hope the holiday season treated you well.

[BirdsBooksBrownies]

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Thank you very much for your input, I'll see about implementing some of your advice over the next week. And Thank you for your warm wishes, I did indeed have a good holiday, and I hope yours was as well.