On a island off the coast of Equestria, lives a entire group of ponies know as the Amazons, who are all mares trained in combat to defend themselves after a tribe of stallions have betrayed them. These Amazons live alone on the island as a gift from Princess Celestia.
One Amazin among them is Princess Diana, daughter of the queen, Hippolyta. Diana was always longing for adventure, but not outside of her home. That all changes when a stallion crash lands on the island, said stallion being a member of Celestia's Royal Guard who is on a mission and must return to Equestria.
To decide which pony is returning him home, Hippolyta holds a contest where her Amazons must prove they have what it takes to survive in Equestria. What she knows is that Diana has trained her entire life to win this moment.
Will Diana succeed and become the Amazon's representative or will she fail?
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I'm trying my best, it's my first story.
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It's not even just one specific story, I'm combining several of my favorite origins of Wonder Woman like her Pre-New 52, New 52, and Rebirth origin stories and adding elements of MLP to it.
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Is it okay if I add some of my favorite lines?
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Just asking
Thanks for linking me to the story. This is going to be a lot of fun. :)
Chapter 1 and Chapter 2 show definite development in your writing ability. It's not easy to post openly when you are getting your bearings as a writer.
Chapter 1 and 2 were both well done in creating the 'feel' for Paradise Island. The characters definitely are good and have much to offer in the coming chapters. So, for me, character development and world building is definitely not a problem for you.
About the only trouble, which shows improvement from Chapter 1 to 2, is the words used. The flow is a little broken with changes between past and present tense. Some spelling also makes it a bit rough. HOWEVER you are improving and I advise changing nothing as you write Chapter 3.
If you read my initial stories, as with most others, you'd notice a very similar trend. The talent is there but the delivery is what takes time to get right. The more you write and share the more your confidence will grow along with your talent for developing your style in which will ensure your stories are enjoyable and distinct to you as an author.
So keep up the great work. I'll make this a fave so I can continue watching how you grow as an author. You have lots of promise and I hope you keep at it. :)
Do you have a favorite character so far?