As a second-year primary school student, Rarity is still trying to figure out the whole ‘life’ thing. Being assigned to keep a diary for an entire moon should give her a quiet place to work out her thoughts. But the world has other plans, and circumstances will force her to temporarily team up with Applejack in order to take on the most fearsome foe imaginable. Something neither could ever hope to defeat alone.
A teenager.
(A stand-alone, no-prior-reading necessary part of the Triptych Continuum, which has its own TVTropes page and FIMFiction group. New members and trope edits welcome.)
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Wow, that was fucking depressing. If I was Rarity I would have killed myself a long time ago
That was something.
A good look at where Rarity came from. We can see the beginnings of a few things here: Rarity fighting smart/dirty; her eye for detail; an awareness that maybe money and status aren't everything.
The underlines are a nice touch.
Slice of Life? I guess, but sorta sad?
At least it worked out, I guess?
Woah, Applejack's parents are alive right now...
I wonder what happened to Miss Primer, so that Cheerilee became the school-teacher...
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Also, we see the unhappy pony underneath all of the fabulousness.
Wow you're on a roll.
Cool how kids pick up on stuff without even realizing what they're looking at. Really good example of kid life here. I even had a forested area right next to my playground in elementary school too. I liked the little notes on how Rarity was afraid her dad would die on the job, that's heavy. And how her mom was putting her own social status above the needs of her kid in a major way. That is really shitty to deal with.
I liked the depiction of a little rarity - everything rang true for me.
Wow, they kicked ass!
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It'd have been truly depressing if she'd been bullied out for good. As it turned out...she's a tough little filly, even if the hits aren't like the ones her dad takes.
reminds me of a line in an online comic:
"how was your day?"
"extremely boring, just like every school day!"
oh, that made me think of a very old Peanuts comic:
"today? we? learned? how? to? write? question? marks?"
That wouldn't be The, Worst, Possible, Thing, would it?
This serie of events had been mentioned before some of your other story if I remember correctly. And now we have the story to put behind that mention. It's nice when an author do that.
Neat little story that give great insight to little Rarity mind. Maybe latter we could get something when she is at the boarding school and see how she was when she was living there.
This entire story does such an amazing job of showing how children think about things; that uncanny way they have of cutting through the masks and seeing things as they really are. From little descriptions like how the farm is old, but the kind of old where people love it a lot, to how Rarity knows that the ponies who are her mother's 'friends' aren't her friends. A beautiful little story, bittersweet in its ending, though there is comfort in knowing that AJ and Rarity do become friends in time and, apparently, Rarity's mother mellowed. Also, the fact that she has a good relationship with her father (and liked the Apple parents for similar reasons) was quite touching. Excellent work!
I thought the gag from the show was that both her parents were painfully un-stylish.
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Yeah, she's much stronger then me
Be careful what you wish for. You just might get it.
Depends on the team.
Heh. Sometimes foal questions are "Where do alicorns come from?" Sometimes they're just "What are you doing?" Either way, nopony thinks to ask them when they're older.
I won't lie, I flinched when I read that. And it may even explain her... novel use of vocal emphasis in her adult years.
In any case, there are so many formative experiences on display here. The rupophobia, the complex relationship Rarity has with high society, the complex relationship with her father, the not-nearly-as-complex one with her mother, the decision that fair fights are things that happen to other ponies... And at the same time, there are some core aspects of Rarity that she hasn't yet concealed in a shell of fabulosity, like that gnawing sense of inadequacy.
Meanwhile, we get a sense of a different Applejack, one before tragedy struck, who has yet to begin mourning. It gives some context to what she lost, what she gained, and what she kept, even in as little time as when Pinkie made her a flume ride.
Excellent voicing for the young narrator, and a fantastic read. Thank you for it.
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She also had a good friend that was willing to fight by her side. That goes a long way.
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Ironically, hours after I wrote that, Knicks/Mavericks happened.
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Yes, one of the signs of getting old is that you realize
Bored is NOT The! Worst! Thing! Ever!
Bored is actually your friend because bored means that
*Nothing has gone wrong*
& this is a GOOD thing
Well written indeed!
It leaves me with some interesting thoughts, though. If I remember the timing correctly, this means that two of the Bearers (who aren't AJ) met AJ's parents. Wonder if it was three. I don't remember how early Flutters came down to Ponyville...
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Oh I didn't mean the bullying I mean the mother who cares more for connections then her daughter. I was bullied much worse but I had a loving, present family. Rarity has a terrible mom, and absent dad (who does love her), and only an ally in Applejack not a friend. That's what would make me kill myself her mother's reaction. (I am also naturally suicidal so I know that most people wouldn't feel that way)
I'm not sure what to make of this. In canon, Rarity's mom didn't really strike me as an aspiring socialite. Everything about her looked and felt too tacky. Also, this story needs a sequel. I have to know if she ever becomes friends with Applejack while she's still young.
I was not prepared for the feels. Nicely done! Again
What an amazing and touching peek into Rarity and Applejack ‘s foalhoods! Having come from a rural town, I especially love the way you voiced both fillies and their impressions of the ponies around them, old and young, and how you show the early seeds of the adults they would become. This is easily a scene from my childhood (although my family life was certainly happier than Rarity‘s!) and the feels were just overwhelming.
Great story!
But why was the teenager going to the clearing anyway?
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Probably went to.the clearing because it was isolated and not used. Easy to get to and then move out from to do what the unknown Unicorn wanted.
After reading this, I want to see Raritys dad in action.
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But what was the unknown they wanted to do?
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That's the unknown. It's not like Rarity or Applejack talked to the Unicorn. Her motives were unclear. Hell, why exactly Applejack went to the clearing at first is unclear as well. We only have Raritys viewpoint.
Hmm... An interesting and cynical tale as always, and with a nicely childish tone. The part about magic use in hoofball was quite inspired.
This part was also interesting:
But it wasn't clear what, if anything, it was setting up? (Maybe I just missed it.) It did make me curious about the state of sanitation technology in your Equestria - has indoor plumbing spread as far as Ponyville?
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It's the idea that if a stall is completely unoccupied, somepony else can use it. So designating one as your return point risks coming in on top of the current occupant, setting off recoil all over again.
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Aha.
Maybe it's because I've been reading a few of your new stories in a row, but restroom trenches seem to be making a token appearance in each - are they an idea you had recently, or have they been there all along and I hadn't noticed?
I want to punch Rarity's mommy in the face.
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If I recall the one image I've seen of her, I think somepony did.
Either that, or the wind changed while she was making a face.
And now we know why there's a Sweetie Belle around all the time at Carousel Boutique...
Rarity's parents haven't learned a goddamn thing...
Damn .. poor filly Rarity
Maybe I'm just tired and reading this when I should really be asleep, but I honestly couldn't get into this story, which is unusual since I usually really like your Rarity.
Part of it might be that my ingrained image of hoofball is as a football analogue getting in the way, not rugby as how her dad being bashed about suggests. Unless they get the referees from the same place they get the ones which seem to do most of the England matches in the world cup anyway, which would go a long way toward explaining how he's being nobbled so much. Another part might be that the jackbooted part of my brain with a propensity for correcting grammar and spellings was screaming in pain the entire time through very little fault of your own, despite having written a story somewhat similar to this myself in the past, deliberate childish errors included.
All that said, there were nice glimpses of the mare to be in there, executed with your usual excellence.
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Possibly. However, there are places that are rural enough that they don't. Also, there is one in "The Last Roundup" (S2 E14).
Tech level is all over the place. Manhatten is at least the 1950s.
Canterlot is medieval (I think)
Ponyville has telegraph, steam engines, & the Flim Flam Brothers have a car so around 1900 (?)