Short prompt minifics with Sunset Shimmer as a filly and a student of Luna. And Luna as the main ruler and teacher of Sunset Shimmer.
Alert: contains cuteness.
Twilight and Luna: two mares made for each other
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Ok u made a mistake here. Sunset made a snowpony not a snowman.
9669362
Ops, sorry
Lol! Quit calling Sunset by her full name all the time . It sounds weird. Imagine being called by you full name every time? You’d feel a little weird XD
Good chapter tho
The spelling in this story was pleasingly proper. I didn't find a single misspelling or typo, though some words were mistakenly capitalized and others were used instead of the correct ones, along with a few words missing altogether. The tenses were respected as well, with only a few exceptions.
On the other hand, the punctuation was more miss than hit and the formatting of the paragraphs needs fine-tuning. The names of the characters were repeated much more often than necessary as well, something which using more pronouns would help.
On that note, I appreciate the absolute absence of constructs like "the unicorn," "the lunar princess," "Luna's student" and the like.
The issues I mentioned are widespread throughout the story, so I'll correct only one part of it as an example.
A little polish;
There are more things to improve, but I'm only focusing on formatting, so to speak, and punctuation for this example.
But a story isn't only how it's written, it's also what is written.
I liked the little shared moments between them. Sunset's simple "if I trust you, why not trust [yourself]?" was precious, but there was another I liked even more: her giving Luna a card on Hearts and Hooves Day because she's the person closest to her heart, only to get worried that she simply wouldn't care, before Luna herself dispels these worries with a card of her own.