• Member Since 20th Jan, 2016
  • offline last seen January 5th

Theponywriter22


Hello, im going to be honest with you stright from the bat, I do have Dyslexia. But I always try my best. I won't write horror just beacuse im not good at it, other then that I will write anything.

T
Source

Twilight is still suffering effects from when she turned into Midnight Sparkle and cant find a way to put her past behind her. Its stopping her from moving forward in her life, stopping her from asking Sunset out, stopping her from being herself. She's living her life in fear. Sunset knows what Twilight is dealing with and maybe she can help her see the light that everyone see's in her.

Chapters (6)
Comments ( 36 )

Cover art originally posted on Deviantart and reposted on Derpibooru.

Well, that was far sadder than I was expecting when I started to read, but I believe that the best stories are the one that can surprise you.
And as general comments: first of all I can totally see Sunset as a teacher, that was an interesting touch.
And second is actually a small complaint... Given Sunset's personality I think she never would miss Trixie's big day... But hey, this is not my story.

9728527
Well thank you for the first general feedback I've had on this story. I'm glad you enjoyed it, and about Sunset missing Trixie's wedding I wanted to keep readers wondering what she was doing, plus she wouldn't of known about the wedding so I felt it would of been odd to have her show up.

9729044
That is true and makes all sense.
But of course I would have enjoyed seeing their meeting.

I don't get why this got so many dislikes.
I mean, there's spelling errors and weird capitalisation of random words, but it's not bad.

9729473
Thanks I suffer with dyslexia so I mess up a bit but I try. I was hoping that this was going to be really good I tried to tell a serious story and I guess people didn't like it. At least some people do and that's all that matters. As long as someone enjoyed it then I'm happy

9729732
I have lived with dyslexia all my life. But it has never stopped me from doing the thing I love most. That is writing. Not just the 22 stories on this site but two actual published novels.

Keep with what you are doing. The only thing important about your writing is that you like what you have done. And if you do like it, you want to share it with everyone.

And hey! Dyslexics of the world Untie!

9732818
Thanks man I've read quite a few of your stories, they're really good. It means a lot thanks, I'm already working on my next story.

9732835
Did you know that your story starts like an older story out there?

Battle Scars

9732858
And thanks for the complements. I really am honored.

9732858
No I didn't. It's something I thought up I always liked the idea that after the whole transformation of the evil she demons that they are left with scars from it. Originally the story was going to be all about that moment in the first chapter, obviously it would of been longer but decided to change it. I wanted to involve other types of scars so People could connect with them.

9732871
Good job anyway. Truthfully, a little darker than I write. But hey, that's me. Although I do have some dark episodes in some of my stories. And an even darker one when (and if) I ever finish the fifth book of the Derpy I know and Love.

9732878
Thanks, yeah it's quite dark but some of it comes from a place that I've been personally and I feel there's others who have too and felt it was an interesting place to take that ship I don't see it happen that much. I understand having trouble finishing stories. But don't worry the next story will be a lot lighter it is a one shot and it's based around Trixie and Starlight.

9732905
I look forward to reading it.

One of my real problems with 'dark stories' is that I am a 60 y/o (Okay, I'm old... Sue me) former combat medic in Desert Storm. So I do shy away from some of those issues. I'd hoped that as the yeas went by the PTSD would get better. It hasn't.

Perhaps the reason i stick to romances. But I do allow real life to sneak in, let's face it, life isn't all wine and roses.

9732922
Im so sorry about your ptsd i really am. I mostly read romance and adventure stories anyway. It doesn't matter if you're 60 in fact that calms me down, im 19 turbing 20 in couple weeks and I was afraid that i was gonna have to let mlp go but its reassuring to hear someone of your age still watching and writing

9732996
Thanks. My wife thinks it is undignified when I wear a MLP t-shirt. But that's her problem.

9733044
My parents are the same and i have 3. Two short armed sleeves and one long sleeved

While it does having a few pacing and grammatical issues, It's a decent start to this story with a very clever concept!

This was a nice chapter, the romance stuff was pretty adorable and the darker elements seem both very genuine and inkeeping with the overall tone. Any criticism I have are as much like the first chapter, it can feel a bit rushed or forced (like the sentence I quoted below) or like it's the first draft without much time to be flushed out. They're not major issues, but I do find them rather noticeable and feel this may tie into why the story isn't doing especially well ratings-wise. Despite that, it's still a decent chapter that's keeping me invested in where things go from here.

Sunset tutted and carefully grabbed hold Twilight's hand she slowly lifted up her Jumper and looked at the cut on wrist, it was fresh and recent and it took every ounce of strength to fight back tears. Instead she lent down and gave it a light kiss with every compliment. "Oh my precious, beautiful, caring, amazing Twilight. You are worth so much more then you actually know."

9741368
I love that paragraph actually that's one of my favourites. The reason it feels rushed is because the story time jumps and it's just ment to show you parts of their lives your not ment to sit down and get all of it and you don't need it all spelt out for you can work it out with what happens in the chapters.

9741988
That makes sense, thanks for responding

Poor Sunset, please be happy for Twilight, she always wanted you to be happy and move on even though she's gone. You got your friends by your side. Sunset you will reunite with Twilight in heaven.:fluttercry:

9761465
It's an illness that I wanted to keep ambiguous as so if anyone else has gone through something similar they can connect with the story

Sunset placed a hand under Twilight's face and brought her up to look at in the eyes. "I take the pain and I make a promise that no one else is going to feel that pain ever again. That I will be a better person and that I wont let my fears rule my head."

Is this a reference to the Zygon Inversion?

Sunset placed a hand under Twilight's face and brought her up to look at in the eyes. "I take the pain and I make a promise that no one else is going to feel that pain ever again."

Is this a reference to the Zygon Inversion?

9983550
Maybe... (your awesome for getting the reference.)

Comment posted by ScisetShimmerEvan deleted Aug 24th, 2021
Comment posted by ScisetShimmerEvan deleted Aug 24th, 2021
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