The Passing of Royal Best Friends

If you lost someone you spent your whole lives with,

Would you want to hold onto your core values?

Or would you want to punish the culprit who ruined your life?

Chapters (1)

Comments ( 10 )

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IDontWatchMLP

IDontWatchMLP #1 · Jul 3rd, 2019 · 1 · ·

Dang, that was pretty good.

Eli The sad story-er

Eli The sad story-er #2 · Jul 3rd, 2019 · 1 · ·

9712192
Thank you so very very much.
Considering that's coming from someone as awesome and as popular as you I am deeply honoured.

IDontWatchMLP

IDontWatchMLP #3 · Jul 3rd, 2019 · · ·

9712230
I never really reconsidered myself as awesome and popular... but you're welcome anyway!

Purple Patch

Purple Patch #4 · Jul 3rd, 2019 · 1 · ·

Interesting concept, I have to say and a neat twist.
I'd recommend building the lines a bit more and making the dialogue a bit more meaningful. Avoid, as far as possible, having characters basically reword the lines of others as a means to agree. The audience want, if not conflict, then at least discussion and debate.
I notice Zecora didn't have any lines. Might want to exercise the character a bit. Make it worthwhile.
But overall, decent. It has potential.

Perhaps you'd like to read my fic here.
It's a Historical Fic (It's rated Mature for Violence, hope it's not too much)
Like yours, Gusty is closely tied to Celestia though she's her royal bodyguard and foalhood minder.
Hope you like it.

Eli The sad story-er

Eli The sad story-er #5 · Jul 3rd, 2019 · 1 · ·

9712309
Are you kidding? Your practically a legend.

Eli The sad story-er

Eli The sad story-er #6 · Jul 3rd, 2019 · 1 · ·

9712647
Thank you so very much for reading my work.
I'll definitely check yours out.

And thank you for the critique I will take it into consideration.

DrawLight

DrawLight #7 · Jul 4th, 2019 · · ·

The story is quite great. It has a few lines where it needs a comma or such, but overall, an interesting story with a good idea. I sure do hope you'll make a chapter 2.